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Miscellaneous Awards for 2007

post #1 of 18
1/9/08 at 8:08pm
Thread Starter 
Year One
Book 2
Strike 3

Brains haven't been working too good recently, so I'll just start it up, with the hopes of adding more later.

Best Surprise Nudity: Katherine Heigl, Knocked Up
Runners up: Viggo in Eastern Promises, Bart Simpson, King Leonidas, Beowulf, Random guy in Walk Hard, any dude that showed their cock and/or ass. Thank you for helping to balance the scales.

Uncategorized Surprise Nudity: Heather Matarazzo, Hostel 2. It was like my penis had the biological equivalent of a 404 Error.

Biggest Dive in the 1st round: The Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie. The intro to this should be placed before every R-rated film from here on. A copy of the film as a whole, however, should be right next to the sodium penathol cabinet at Guantanamo.
Runner Up: Pirates 3. That great intro at the gallows is followed by a film disappointing enough to make me long for the noose myself.

Best Use of Music: "Can't Truss It", Public Enemy, American Gangster
Runner Up: "Hurdy Gurdy Man", Donovan, Zodiac; "Just Like You Imagined", Nine Inch Nails, the 300 trailer

Girl Power Moment of the Year: Queen Gorgo stabbing Traitor McScumbag, 300

Kill Of The Year: Tim Messenger, Hot Fuzz
Runners Up: The Broad Daylight Kill, American Gangster; Dewey Cox's Brother, Walk Hard

And last but not least, Patrick Ripoll's favorite part:

The 2007 Darth Maul Memorial Excellence In Badassery Award goes to:

Anton Chigurh, No Country For Old Men

NO. FUCKING. CONTEST.

In Badass Memoriam: The Kraken, Pirates 3

Fuck you, Ted Elliot/Terry Rossio. Fuck you to hell.

Have fun, kids.
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post #2 of 18
1/9/08 at 8:20pm
Do you mean the crowning scene, Justin? It's definitely best surprise nudity, but that ain't Heigl.
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post #3 of 18
1/9/08 at 9:05pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
Do you mean the crowning scene, Justin? It's definitely best surprise nudity, but that ain't Heigl.
Yeah, the crowning scene, but the effect is enough, and I'm not about to get specific enough to nominate a prosthetic/stunt cunt.

Quote:
Originally Posted by El Tati
And though i agree on Anton Chigurh, King Leonidas deserves a runner´s up position.
The Excellence in Badassery award's strictly a villain's affair, sad to say.

Also, I reiterate "No fucking contest". If Chigurh was Persian, Leonidas would've gotten a spear through his head while he was slo-mo boning his wife.
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post #4 of 18
1/9/08 at 9:11pm
Best vagina bleaching scene- ZWARTBOEK.
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post #5 of 18
1/9/08 at 9:36pm
Quote:
Worst cameo in a western - Tied between James Carville in Jesse James and Luke Wilson in 3:10
I thought Carville was actually pretty good -- Cajun style!
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post #6 of 18
1/9/08 at 9:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by KABONG
Best vagina bleaching scene- ZWARTBOEK.
perk

Eh? What's this you speak of?
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post #7 of 18
1/9/08 at 11:12pm
I have to disagree with your pick of best girl power moment, and go with the very end of Death Proof. That boot to the face...
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post #8 of 18
1/10/08 at 12:00am
Best Meta-Film Theatrical Moment: Confused projectionist stops film and turns on house lights for a full minute at the "reel missing" bit in Planet Terror

Best Sound Effect: little squish noise as Michael Myers forces the dismount from Danielle Harris in Halloween

Best Sinister Use of Pie: James Franco, Spider-Man 3
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post #9 of 18
1/10/08 at 2:20am
3rd Act Atrocity of the Year award: Sunshine

Ridiculous hotness award: Megan Fox, Transformers

Vic Mackey's Book Beater award: Matt Damon, Bourne Ultimatum

Single Best Shot in a Film: Train slowing down in front of Jesse James, The Assassination of Jesse James

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jona
I have to disagree with your pick of best girl power moment, and go with the very end of Death Proof. That boot to the face...
I'll go one better and say Jennifer Garner at the end of The Kingdom. That was a brutal fight.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Jim Slade
Best Sinister Use of Pie: James Franco, Spider-Man 3
Forgot all about that! Franco's face would make for a great avatar...
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post #10 of 18
1/12/08 at 10:51pm
No, the Biggest Douchebag of 2007 has to go to Billy "USA" Mitchell.

"There are some people here I don't want to spend much time with."
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post #11 of 18
1/13/08 at 1:28am
Biggest cinematic gut-punch: Moss's off screen death - No COuntry for Old Men

Runner up: ending of The Mist


Best bitch slap: Peter Parker lays his jazz hands accross MJ's mouth - Spider Man Three

Runner up: Spitting douchebag gets a nightstick accross the face - Superbad
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post #12 of 18
1/13/08 at 1:55am
-Best "psycho/Waylon Smithers complex" henchman award: Ben Foster, "3:10 to Yuma".
-Best "stealing the movie in just 5 minutes" award: Vanessa Redgrave, "Atonement"
-The "adorable yet creepy moment" award: Little Sisters and the Big Daddies taking a walk together, "Bioshock"
-The "who the fuck needs Star Trek/Star Wars" award: Mass Effect.
-The "sound of nightmares" award: The cattle gun, "No country for old men"
-The "Ayn Rand boner" award: Andrew Ryan, "Bioshock".
-The "that was just retarded" award: Spider-man: One More day.
-The "chewing scenery till you shit gravel and splinters" award: Paul Giamatti, "Shoot em Up"
-The "thank satan for the WGA strike" award: Heroes.
-The "sir, put your hands on the floor and let go of the camera" award: Rob Zombie, Halloween.
Finally....
-The "fuck you and your childhood/teen years" award: Alien vs Predator Requiem.
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post #13 of 18
1/13/08 at 3:25am
Hero that Deserved a Better Villian:
Optimus Prime
Runner Up: John McClane

Villian that Deserved a Better Hero:
The Sandman

Movie I Most Regret Not Seeing in the Theater:
Grindhouse

Movie I Most Regret Seeing in the Theater:
FF: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Runner Up: Shrek The Third
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post #14 of 18
1/13/08 at 5:19am
First of all, great job so far everyone.

Best Theater Experience Award:
Superbad (both times)
Runner Up: Simpsons

Movie I Walked Out On Award:
Transformers
Runner Up: Nothing else

Audience Doesn't Get It Award:
No Country For Old Men

Worst "Twist"/3 Act Ending Award:
War
Runner Up: Sunshine

Best Trailer Award:
Grindhouse (all the fake trailers, except for Werewolf Woman of the SS, which sucked ass)

Best DTV Dvd Award:
Urban Justice

Best Movie You Haven't Seen Yet Award:
Murder Party

I agree with a lot of what has been said already. I still have yet to see Assassination of Jesse James and There Will Be Blood, because my town sucks, and I am lazy. I'll just edit if I add more.

(EDIT)

Best Dvd Release Award:
Bladerunner
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post #15 of 18
1/13/08 at 7:26am
Hmmm, I think I'd rather Biggest Douchebag go to:

Briony Tallis in Atonement.

I think Matt Goldberg's highly honed rage is contagious....
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post #16 of 18
1/13/08 at 11:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ianthe
Hmmm, I think I'd rather Biggest Douchebag go to:

Briony Tallis in Atonement.

I think Matt Goldberg's highly honed rage is contagious....
I think the whole theater wanted to kill that little bitch just 30 minutes into the movie...
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post #17 of 18
1/13/08 at 12:17pm
I'm sorry, Swicegood, but the best cinematic gut punch of the year was the ending of Gone Baby Gone.

Best Cameo: Eli Roth on the toilet in Southland Tales.
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post #18 of 18
1/13/08 at 3:24pm
Here's a few more:
-Biggest Douchebag in a commentary/dvd extra: Joseph "Torque" Kahn in "Blade Runner: Final Cut".
-Best CHUD media appearance: Devin "lets post about movies" Faraci in the extras for "Blade Runner: Final Cut".
-Best "that was so cheap" death in a videogame: getting drilled/shoot/rammed by a Big Daddy in "Bioshock"
-Astounding Achievement in cussing award, male: Clive Owen, for "Fuck you, you fucking fuckers", "Shoot em up"
--Astounding Achievement in cussing award, female: Anything said in italian by Monica Belluci in "Shoot em up"
-Best alien: Wrex, "Mass Effect".
-The "now were's my 4 hour adaptation of "The Stand" award: Frank Darabont
-Astounding achievement in tracking shots: "Atonement"
-The "out creeping David fucking Cronenberg award: Fabfunk's obsession with Viggo Mortensen's balls.
-The Fabfunk balls award for a testicles reference: Bioshock, for the "Brass Balls" achievement.
Runner up: Krogan testicles, "Mass Effect"
-Greatest Artist award: Sander Cohen, "Bioshock"
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