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Tom Cruise Scares Me - Page 2

post #51 of 191
I just watched the Sawyer Interview.
I knew Cruise was kooky,but now he is just Batshit Crazy.
Maybe Life Will Imitate Art and Cruise will go totally berserk like the Cadet he played in "Taps".....
post #52 of 191
Once I took one of those tests with that silly machine they have for "stress". A friend of mine and I gave false responses, I found out that if you squeeze hard enough you make the meter go wild, so I squeezed it just enough to register "lots of stress".

The lady administering the test (or audit) noted that I had a lot of stress in my life, I said yes ... "My wife makes me *very* angry" and gave the lady a semi crazed look. At that point my friend couldn't take it anymore and we had to leave ... I wanted to keep escalating the joke but oh well.
post #53 of 191
Has anyone ever heard Avery Brooks speak? I don't think he's a scientologist but he talks a lot like this, Tons of psuedo philisophical mumbo jumbo that doesn't appear to make any kind of sense, then a pause, big grin, then maniacal laughter. It made me appreciate his acting ability more when I realised how out of touch with human communication he was.
post #54 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic Boom
I've long wanted to go into the church in Times Square. Everytime I pass it, I get the urge. I feel like if I go in and refuse to buy a copy of Dianetics, I might have to battle a legion of Cruise-doppelgangers to get out.
I stopped by a church in St. Louis a while back with a couple friends, and was insulted that they made no attempt to recruit me. They just let me look in a few rooms of well-dressed people reading one of about 600 tracts and booklets by Hubbard. I was actually a little insulted. You have no idea how damaging it is to one's ego to be passed over for indoctrination into a cult.
post #55 of 191
The Cruise video reminds me of the Brad Goodman episode of The Simpsons.
post #56 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz
You have no idea how damaging it is to one's ego to be passed over for indoctrination into a cult.
As witnessed in the Seinfeld episode "The Checks" where George tries, and fails, to get the attention of the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners.
post #57 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt OCallaghan


*I can't communicate with people and I'm afraid of Venice.
You do come off a bit canal retentive sometimes.
post #58 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt OCallaghan

*I can't communicate with people and I'm afraid of Venice.

No, no, common mistake. You're afraid of VENUS. Venutians have had a longstanding grudge against Xenu for inhabiting Earth first, and have implanted rogue thetans in many minds that increase a person's Isolation Index (TM) and atrophy their Affection Receptors (R).
post #59 of 191
So what if you bring up the alien aspect as a reason you want to join? Do they still deny that's a part of the religion or does it become, "Oh yeah, thetans! We're totally about that. Sign this!"
post #60 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Freeze
So what if you bring up the alien aspect as a reason you want to join? Do they still deny that's a part of the religion or does it become, "Oh yeah, thetans! We're totally about that. Sign this!"
Nope. Their whole purpose is to draw you in by side stepping questions like this. And if you persist too much you will be a SP.
post #61 of 191
He didn't mention anything about The Swan OR The Pearl.
post #62 of 191
Where can I see the whole thing?

I like how he basically scoffs at what every religion practically believes in. Classy.
post #63 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Detonathor
Here's the ending to the Scientology Orientation video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOoFnLYaUOI

And yes, I have seen the whole video. Don't watch it unless you hate your life.
That was awesome. With the music and the general demeanor of the guy, I half expected him to "beam up" at the end.

The pure, undiluted arrogance just dripping off of him (or more accurately the *message*) is a thing to behold, but I really didn't find it any more troubling than the inane and destructive nonsense you can hear from any odd televangelist on a Sunday morning.
post #64 of 191
You have to give the director credit for that one

"You are perfectly free to fuck up this speech, it would be stupid but you can do it, you can also dive off a bridge and blow your brains out, that is your choice."

"Uhuh, I think I'll go with the cue cards then"

"You're ok with faking it?"

"Have you seen my hair?"
post #65 of 191
So, there's a bunch of backlash on this leaked video now heading to the major news groups.

The Cult is saying the video was edited and the background music was added.

Even if it was edited and music was added, it still shows "the crazy".
post #66 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Detonathor
Here's the ending to the Scientology Orientation video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOoFnLYaUOI

And yes, I have seen the whole video. Don't watch it unless you hate your life.

I thought that was a deleted TV ad from 'RoboCop 2'...
...honestly.
post #67 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove

Even if it was edited and music was added, it still shows "the crazy".
I believe the term is "TEH CRAZY".
post #68 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vader
Where can I see the whole thing?
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...ogID=348043800
post #69 of 191
post #70 of 191
Funny or Die makes fun of Tom

Jerry O'Connell will never work in a Tom Cruise movie again!
post #71 of 191
Aww, he isn't that bad. He's like a Teddy Bear (with a 1000 yard stare). Tom just needs a hug...from an iron maiden.

And even if he is a completely brainwashed husk of a person, he is still entertaining.
post #72 of 191
It's alive! Thank Xenu!
post #73 of 191
Colbert did a brief but dead-on impersonation of this video during a rant about the stock market on his show the other night. Everyone's parodying this, but his was the best. Brevity is the soul of wit.
post #74 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Funny or Die makes fun of Tom

Jerry O'Connell will never work in a Tom Cruise movie again!
Awesome. I loved the laughs and the Aristocrats line.
post #75 of 191
I have a newfound respect for Jerry O'Connell. That took balls.
post #76 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Funny or Die makes fun of Tom

Jerry O'Connell will never work in a Tom Cruise movie again!
That is damn good.
post #77 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob Rocco View Post
I have a newfound respect for Jerry O'Connell. That took balls.
Ditto. That was fantastic.
post #78 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers View Post
That is damn good.
Jerry is now my favorite comedian.
post #79 of 191
post #80 of 191
A couple years after I moved to LA (around 2001) I got an apartment with a friend on Arglye, right down the block from the Hollywood Scientology center. My friend was looking for another job, and we didn't know what Scientoology was, so we went inside thinking they might have some office work or something.

We were shown into a waiting area past the lobby. There was a man playing the piano for no apparent reason, since there really wasn't anyone else around. They came out with two applications, even though we only asked for one. Humored, I looked through the thing, which was packed full of bizarre requests. For instance, they wanted to know the names, addresses, phone numbers and other personal information about my mother, my father, my brothers and sisters, my grandmother... I thought it was a joke. We were so creeped out, we snuck away and and took off.

So yeah... I believe L. Ron Jr.
post #81 of 191
Jerry O'Connell is now forgiven for Kangaroo Jack.

Still some bad karma left from Sliders, though.
post #82 of 191
I knew all the usual suspects, but some of the names surprised me. Greta Van Susteren? The voice of Bart Simpson? William S. Burroughs (though he later denounced it)?
post #83 of 191
Ethan Suplee is now dead to me.
post #84 of 191
Ernie Reyes Jr is now more alive to me THAN EVER!
post #85 of 191
Haywood Nelson!?! Rip out my heart and feed it to me why don't you!
post #86 of 191
Charles Manson is a former Scientologist? What the hell kind of religion are you running when Charles Manson gives up on you?
post #87 of 191
Scientology.
post #88 of 191
Christopher Reeve was a former Scientologist, huh? I wonder if he gave it up before his accident. I'm not necessarily implying that the horse was rigged or anything, but...
post #89 of 191
Sonno Bono! Goddammit Hubbard you had take another classy stache away from us.

Laura Prepon?!
post #90 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Laura Prepon?!
I just want to be on the record as completely willing to check her Thetan levels.

I don't give a shit if she wants to put on a tinfoil hat and scream the praises of Xenu as long as I get the chance to take a swing at that 'gine.
post #91 of 191
I think I found out why some of these guys are joining up. Anne Archer, Catherine Bell, Marisol Nichols and Leah Remini are almost enough hotness to even convince me.

And they've got their marketing all wrong. Don't use Tom Cruise, use Doug E. Fresh. If he doesn't pull in today's youth nothing will.
post #92 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudgeSmails View Post
I think I found out why some of these guys are joining up. Anne Archer, Catherine Bell, Marisol Nichols and Leah Remini are almost enough hotness to even convince me.
Well, Mimi Rogers got a lot of the old guard to join up because she worked audits.

So yeah. Sex sells Scientology.
post #93 of 191
It gets more and more bizarre!

Quote:
"An internet group calling itself Anonymous has declared war on the Church of Scientology, in the form of an ominous posting to the YouTube site. 'In the statement, the group explained their goal as safeguarding the right to freedom of speech. "A spokesperson said that the group's goals include bringing an end to the financial exploitation of Church members and protecting the right to free speech, a right which they claim was consistently violated by the Church of Scientology in pursuit of its opponents." The press release also claimed that the Church of Scientology misused copyright and trademark law in order to remove criticism from websites including Digg and YouTube. The statement goes on to assert that the attacks from the group "will continue until the Church of Scientology reacts, at which point they will change strategy".' It should be noted that Slashdot users have had interactions with Scientology in the past as well."
The hackers have stolen several files that they are now spreading around through file-sharing networks. They posted some shit on YouTube. Click here to see some of their crap.
post #94 of 191
That's pretty hilarious.
post #95 of 191
Anon, all about the LuLz.
post #96 of 191
Now THATS a statement of intent.

God I love the world wide web sometimes.
post #97 of 191
post #98 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yomad View Post
I'm only 5 minutes into but, awesome. Thank you.
post #99 of 191
Wait til you get about 22 minutes in.
post #100 of 191
What a bunch of obnoxious godless bullies.
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