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A Nice Hard Slap - Nick's Daily Blog - Page 4

post #151 of 1009
2/9/08 at 8:03pm
You need to perk up and smile, mister. You got a tee shirt outta that win!
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post #152 of 1009
2/10/08 at 12:20am
Makes the wait for 11 CA even worse.
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post #153 of 1009
2/10/08 at 2:33am
Are you wearing boxer briefs or do you have albino thighs?
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post #154 of 1009
2/10/08 at 5:46am
Thread Starter 
Sliding pants, smart alec.
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post #155 of 1009
2/10/08 at 11:23pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/135/A...y-Baffles.html
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post #156 of 1009
2/10/08 at 11:29pm
How was Jump -. . .excuse me, JMPR?
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post #157 of 1009
2/10/08 at 11:46pm
Thread Starter 
I'll tell you tomorrow when I see it.
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post #158 of 1009
2/10/08 at 11:52pm
How much time do you spend a week at the B&N? And was the urinal handfuck incident there? My B&N's men's room is more suited to the customers of a scuzzy old man bar than to Harry Potter fans.
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post #159 of 1009
2/11/08 at 12:09am
Quote:
Jimi Hendrix was treated with confusion and disdain by the young patrons in the bar as the iconic intro of 'All Along the Watchtower' began.
Were these typical polo-shirt/white-ballcap douchebags? Lay off them, the only version of "Watchtower" they've heard is the DMB cover.
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post #160 of 1009
2/11/08 at 12:40pm
Yes, Nick, yes you are a fucking dame. And from now on, we'll refer to your brand new vagina as your "clam", and so will you.
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post #161 of 1009
2/11/08 at 2:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Yes, Nick, yes you are a fucking dame. And from now on, we'll refer to your brand new vagina as your "clam", and so will you.
Now he's got two places to rub Aveeno lotion before he can start his day.
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post #162 of 1009
2/11/08 at 3:16pm
Quote:
I can't function as a human being until I've put Aveeno lotion on my face. What am I a fucking DAME?
Who here doesn't like a nice supple and pliant face?


Quote:
Patron shots are too fucking expensive.
Ain't that the truth. That's why you stick with Wild Turkey.
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post #163 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:18pm
I don't think Wild Turkey's an option in this case.
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post #164 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:19pm
Thread Starter 
Wild Turkey 101 is thine enemy.
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post #165 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:31pm
Here's a little something my friends and I used to make each other do on our birthdays:

Wild Turkey + Bacardi 151 = A 252.

Bartenders used to get grossed out when we'd order those.
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post #166 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
Here's a little something my friends and I used to make each other do on our birthdays:

Wild Turkey + Bacardi 151 = A 252.

Bartenders used to get grossed out when we'd order those.
My liver's enlarging and crystallizing just thinking about that god damn drink.
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post #167 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
Wild Turkey + Bacardi 151 = A 252.

Bartenders used to get grossed out when we'd order those.
Christ, if that isn't both mana from the gods and Satan's piss, I don't know what is.
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post #168 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Christ, if that isn't both mana from the gods and Satan's piss, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I imagine the bartender blacking out and pissing in the ice cooler just due to having poured such a concoction.
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post #169 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
Here's a little something my friends and I used to make each other do on our birthdays:

Wild Turkey + Bacardi 151 = A 252.

Bartenders used to get grossed out when we'd order those.
Happy birthday Will. Aren't you due for another one soon?
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post #170 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:52pm
Yeah, but my 252 days are over. Way, way over.
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post #171 of 1009
2/11/08 at 4:56pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/138/A...-Tomorrow.html
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post #172 of 1009
2/11/08 at 5:00pm
Quote:
Give a nice fat check to Bruce McGill for all he's done.
YES. Perhaps a statue in his honor as well.
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post #173 of 1009
2/11/08 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
YES. Perhaps a statue in his honor as well.
Do I look like I'm made of money, motherfucker?
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post #174 of 1009
2/11/08 at 5:03pm
The only way to win the lottery -- pick the numbers 1-2-3-4-5 and 6. Never been a winning number before, same odds as any other set of "6" numbers, and it's ABOUT FUCKING TIME, dammit!
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post #175 of 1009
2/11/08 at 5:23pm
I'll never eat Magic Shell again.

Or perhaps I'll enjoy it even more.
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post #176 of 1009
2/11/08 at 5:38pm
Thank God for the Anthony Quinn update - I'd been wondering what he was up to. Now I can stop digging.
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post #177 of 1009
2/11/08 at 5:59pm
I fear a spy is among us! Hooray!
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post #178 of 1009
2/12/08 at 3:21pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/142/A...g-Me-Away.html
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post #179 of 1009
2/12/08 at 3:29pm
Not only are miniature horses freaks of nature, they are very ill-tempered. My farrier refuses to trim the goblinsteeds because they kick and bite so much. How in the world could these things be useful as assistance animals?

I endorse the use of descriptive sound effects in future MWW episodes. Sleepies!
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post #180 of 1009
2/12/08 at 3:30pm
Quote:
Poor little horses. Too big for Barbie but too small for Henry Thomas.
I cannot even tell you how greatly this improved my mood today. That, and "Ellen Degeneres at 75" is spot on! Thanks, Nick.
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post #181 of 1009
2/12/08 at 3:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
Not only are miniature horses freaks of nature, they are very ill-tempered. My farrier refuses to trim the goblinsteeds because they kick and bite so much. How in the world could these things be useful as assistance animals?
Yep. I'm sure some poor blind dude in a wheelchair using a miniature horse as a guide doesn't appreciate getting kicked in the mouth.
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post #182 of 1009
2/12/08 at 3:40pm
A little horse.
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post #183 of 1009
2/12/08 at 3:44pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Yep. I'm sure some poor blind dude in a wheelchair using a miniature horse as a guide doesn't appreciate getting kicked in the mouth.
He must have a low mouth.
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post #184 of 1009
2/13/08 at 1:05am
I don't know who posted the 2nd talkback about replacing the scene in Good Will Hunting...but that was almost as outstanding as the rest of Nick's blog. Oh, and I laughed WAY harder at "seahorse" than I had any right to.
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post #185 of 1009
2/13/08 at 1:27pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/150/A...Questions.html
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post #186 of 1009
2/13/08 at 2:02pm
I like the new serious tone, Nick. Fits you like a glove.
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post #187 of 1009
2/13/08 at 2:08pm
Thread Starter 
I am growing as a man.
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post #188 of 1009
2/13/08 at 5:27pm
Disgusting. Save it for Michelle Monaghan.
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post #189 of 1009
2/13/08 at 5:29pm
Goddamnit Nick. You just about got me thrown out of preproduction class. I burst out laughing right in the middle of the lecture. I had to close the window and read the rest later.
Quote:
Why don't more kids run around confused and bleeding?
Now twenty more people think I'm an idiot.
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post #190 of 1009
2/13/08 at 5:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
I am growing as a man.
Only in short growth spurts...
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post #191 of 1009
2/14/08 at 10:59pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/157/A...is-Played.html
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post #192 of 1009
2/15/08 at 11:48am
C'mon, Nick - that's just the 'roid rage talking, isn't it?
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post #193 of 1009
2/15/08 at 7:40pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/159/A...an-Stupid.html
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post #194 of 1009
2/16/08 at 8:30pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/164/A...on-Advice.html
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post #195 of 1009
2/17/08 at 3:57pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/167/A...ng-Bation.html
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post #196 of 1009
2/17/08 at 4:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
This blog is a work of art!!!
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post #197 of 1009
2/17/08 at 4:21pm
I plan on distributing your most recent blog to every kid in the school I attend.


I'm a part time janitor at a pre school.
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post #198 of 1009
2/17/08 at 7:34pm
I plan on defeating masturbation, Nick, but you gotta help me and the CHUD brothers out. You have to delete the sex forum. Do it for all of us, man.
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post #199 of 1009
2/17/08 at 7:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by yt View Post
This blog is a work of art!!!
The great thing is that the original list is almost as funny as Nick.
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post #200 of 1009
2/17/08 at 8:07pm
Quote:
I shout "I'm not enjoying this!" as I explode all over the cover of the new Wizard Magazine.
Godly.
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