A Nice Hard Slap - Nick's Daily Blog - Page 9

I love the other hand-shadow-monster puppet drawing with the teeth and such. Fabulous. And the Kindle, huh? What makes an e-reader different from just copying the text into an html shell and using a browser?

Fuck me stupid.

You guys know what to get me for Christmas now.

The Kindle uses e-ink. And had e-DRM.

I'm sliding away from technology, I now desire hard-back books to paper backs. I also prefer to yell really loud instead of using a cell phone. And write letters instead of email and texting.

Right back at ya, Nick. Glad to hear it was a great weekend for you. Hope your friend is doing better with the medicines he's on.

I find it strange that a site that specializes in "snark", a site that runs eviscerating articles like The Movie Microscope and You Got It Wrong, a site whose editor writes a blog devoted to kvetching about anything at all would have such gentle sensibilities. If you're going to specialize in slapping and pissing vinegar on things, expect to take have the piss taken out of yourself once in a while.
And btw, you got the reasons for the Owen and Wagner hate all wrong. The reason they inspire such rancor is because of the quality of their writing.

Why spend the time editing talkbacks? Is the image of CHUD that important that a few bad talkback posts affect it that much?

In his defense, Jones has made some pretty incredible plays in the outfield this season. But, yes, his bat might as well be made of Nerf material for all the good it has done him.

It looks like the NL West is going to be pretty tough this season, so I hope he improves, because right now he's not going to cut it on the #4 spot.

This.

I totally understand where you're coming from on the moderation kick, since it's essentially your site, you pay for the hosting/design/etc., and in the end you can do whatever you want and we can go spit. That being said:

I love CHUD like the best piece of ass I've never had, but we should totally expect to have vitriol launched back at most of the stuff that makes it to the frontpage. Take Riviello's recent addition to the You Got It All Wrong list, for example. There's some serious bile there, but he even mentioned in chat that he anticipated a fair bit of backlash.

I don't think the readers/site members are wrong in thinking that the slate of awesome CHUD writers (and Owen, because I see him as more of a glorified Variety RSS feed except way more stultifying - however I can't bring myself to give a fuck enough to actively flame him like many dumbass commenters have) should take a similar approach.

And I'm still somewhat stymied by people's surprise at the implementation of the Talkback feature turning into a breeding ground for dumbfucks. It's still a veritable MENSA meeting compared to the shitbag talkbacks at AICN.

I don't delete comments on my stories (unless they're supposedly coming from people who didn't post them) but I don't think you're being fair. You're comparing graffiti on a bathroom wall with something hopefully a little more thought out. There's a huge difference between what we write on the site and 'You're a fat cunt, you should die.' Taking shit is one thing - getting shit upon is another.

I'm not really bothered what you delete, but it might be worth investigating if you can get our board profiles linked to talkbacks just so if one of us feels like calling one of you something impolite, at least you know it's genuinely one of us.

I guess this is more for the site improvements thread.

It doesn't help that those "games" are nigh-unplayable because of the controls. Eh, I guess it keeps a Blu-ray manufacturing facility in business.

Seconded. Goddamn I hated Dragon Lair.

I never got to play Dragon's Lair when it first came out, because it was always broken or being worked on when I went to my local Aladdin's Castle. I think the frustrations the arcade had to endure are why they never got Space Ace.

As much as I like Don Bluth's art and animation, I never felt cheated that I never got to play either game.

Probably a good thing. Your quarters when much farther than other kids.

First off, this is a hilarious thing to get mad at. It never occured to me that the constant re-releasing of these games was something to be annoyed by. Now I am. That said, I did love Space Ace so much back in the arcade days. And I'm sure, after wasting so many quarters on it, I never made it past more than a few flicks of the joystick. I wonder how the story plays out. If anyone wants to spoil it for me, feel free.

My go-to game was always Donkey Kong. Still my favourite classic arcade game to this day. I'm no Billy Mitchell, but that's because I don't wear a creepy feather-mullet.

Yeah, but you're off dressing up as Silent Bob. Don't hate on Billy Mitchell from your glass house...

My glass house offers me a wonderful view. And besides, my Silent Bob antics are far, few between and fleeting. That mullet is forever.

And I was right - I knew those pics would come back to bite me in the ass. Eh, no big deal. All part of the Chewer integration. Now I feel at home.

I was totally queer for Space Ace.

After infiltrating Borf's spaceship Dexter/Ace finds Kimmy and they escape in a thrilling motorbike race. They decide to thwart Borf's plan to fire The Infanto Ray on Earth. The two use futuristic roller skates to manuveur a maze and get to Borf's control room.
Kimmy is seperated from Dex as he must duel Borf using long rods with crackling energy orbs on either end. Dex must change to Ace or DIE!
Ace now beats Borf, but Borf mans the Infanto Ray and fires it at our hero! Ace grabs a mirror and reflects the ray's blast onto Borf. It causes the villian to turn into a baby (Get it? INFANT-o ray...?). Kimmy thinks he's cute, the baby says "Ace" and the three fly away in their spaceship.

Awesome. Thanks, BC. Going to have to borrow the Blu-ray from Nick.

I'd just like it to be known that my description came from actual game experience. It took me most of the summer and countless quarters, but I beat that sumbitch. I beat it.

All for finding out about the INFANT-o ray?

The continental breakfast has come a long way from the "juice and a stale doughnut" days, Nick. I've stayed at some places that even have a staffed omelet bar and full buffet.

Well goooood for you fucking Mr. Money Bags. Sorry we can't all stay at the fucking Four Seasons all of time.

Ill take my burnt sausage and rape-victim banana served on a sheet of cardboard, thank you very much.

One part of continental breakfast that I do enjoy is the waffle machines that you pour batter into then flip over to cook the waffles. The batter they use makes for a better tasting waffle than you'd think would be on a hotel breakfast buffet.

Waffle Machines sound AWESOME. Honestly - if they have unlimited ice cold orange juice included in this free breakfast - I'll not complain. Anything else is a bonus.

You better eat that stuff up, there are constipated kids in Africa who would love a continental breakfast.

This:
And this:
Exactly. My "free breakfast" horror-shows have included cold clumps of scrambled eggs (you got vats, Nick? You were lucky), orange wedges, hot clumps of hash browns (not to be confused with the aforementioned cold clumps of eggs), and mystery meat that makes me want to race home and make sure my cat is still inside my apartment ("That smiley face collar looks familiar. Hey, does that tag have my phone number on it?"). As far as that first quote, honest to god, YES. Come on - a halfway decent hot breakfast at an actual diner somewhere costs next to nothing. I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, and even OUR diners will sport you a $5 breakfast special of toast, eggs, coffee and hash browns. Free doesn't mean good.

The Ron reference made me smile.

Actually Breakfast in the uk at most hotels is pretty good. Ok most of them you have to pay £7 to get it but rather than the the horror of a mcdonalds.

Damn Straight Nick, hell I'm sure everyone remembers the crazy dangerous shit they did when they were young and know that they can't do that as an adult.

Having your life flash before your eyes is a rite of passage.

Long story, I ended up in the ass end of a tree in the middle of some river rapids. Somehow I lived.

Holy crap. That song kicked ass. It's catchy and infectious and kinda reminds me of Steve Miller Band mixed with early Red Hot Chili Peppers.


Now I feel dumb for ignoring all your posts for the past couple of years pimping out your sound. I would really like to hear more. How does one go about getting CDs of your music again?

And another great blog entry as well. As a recently-turned 33 year old, I understand your sentiments all too well.

Did you ever receive my PM on the subject?

Nice blog, Nick.

And sometimes maturing keeps you from not only doing dumb physical shit, but also from acting out or saying things that are really going to lead to trouble. One of the girls I work with at Job #2 is a kid (I say that with regard to her maturity - she just turned 20, but acts younger). She has a big mouth and a shitty temper, and her lousy disposition reminds me very much of myself at her age. We're currently in a very bad situation between our staff and our district manager, and we're all very angry, but this girl has been letting her mouth and her temper run away with her. Yesterday she left behind a dumb practical joke alluding to the DM, and I had to call her on it. Because she thought it was cool and funny, and "Hey Lis, did you see the little gag I left, nyuk nyuk, nyuk?" I finally had to sit her down and say, "Okay, you really need to knock that shit off. Because if the DM had seen that? You'd have been fired in a heartbeat." And I proceeded to tell her that I'm not just coming down on her to be a hard-ass, and that I understand her better than she thinks I do, because I was the exact same way when I was her age. And I used to get myself into plenty of trouble because of my big mouth and crappy temper. I said to her, "Know why I've largely avoided trouble with the DM? Easy - because I'm 24 years older than you are, and I've simply learned, with age, to keep my fucking mouth shut. It doesn't mean the situation doesn't piss me off any less - it just means that there are certain ways to handle it, and leaving behind a dumb practical joke that's going to get you fired isn't the way to do it." But I could totally see myself doing the exact same boneheaded thing at her age, to be honest.

They really need to stop letting sharks on the bus.

Any chance we can get a higher-res version of the bus pic? I frikkin' love it.