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A Nice Hard Slap - Nick's Daily Blog - Page 2

post #51 of 1009
1/24/08 at 12:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
good people take their close off

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maureen Tucker View Post
If you clothes the door/the night could last forever.
...
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post #52 of 1009
1/24/08 at 12:50pm
Women are great conversationalists when you slip twenties into the waist band of their panties.
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post #53 of 1009
1/24/08 at 12:51pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick View Post
...

I was in a hurry!
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post #54 of 1009
1/24/08 at 12:52pm
Thread Starter 
I left out the part where I spermed on her.
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post #55 of 1009
1/24/08 at 12:59pm
Pics or it didn't happen.
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post #56 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:00pm
Thread Starter 
No one, no matter how much I pay them, wants to see my squirm.
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post #57 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
"No, no, honey. It was the other guys' idea. I just went along to be social. And boy were those some nice girls. As a matter of fact I can't even remember if they were naked or not! I was looking straight at their minds!"
Yeah. What's all this heresy about girls capable of being, at the same time, both intelligent AND naked? Surely just another urban myth.. I thought I read in like, Scientific Weekly or something, that girls have two possible developmental chromosones when they are born(ed); they either get a nice rack or a good personality.

Still, I wish I could rep you for that 'looking straight at their minds!' line..
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post #58 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
No one, no matter how much I pay them, wants to see my squirm.
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post #59 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:14pm
The last time I went to a strip club, I spent 6 bucks, on water. Strippers are good conversationalists, because they don't get that kind of treatment in there. Most guys that go there just want their manhood rubbed.
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post #60 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:23pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
The last time I went to a strip club, I spent 6 bucks, on water. Strippers are good conversationalists, because they don't get that kind of treatment in there. Most guys that go there just want their manhood rubbed.
I ain't most guys. I've discovered that my rubbing limb reaches my manhood for free.
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post #61 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
The last time I went to a strip club, I spent 6 bucks, on water.
+

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
my rubbing limb
=

The waterarm.
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post #62 of 1009
1/24/08 at 1:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick View Post
The waterarm.
<3!
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post #63 of 1009
1/24/08 at 6:28pm
Too bad the movie didn't make any money. Love to see that as a franchise.
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post #64 of 1009
1/24/08 at 7:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Squirm!
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post #65 of 1009
1/24/08 at 7:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
No one, no matter how much I pay them, wants to see my squirm.
"Don't, don't, don't rush to judgment on something like that until all the facts are in."

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post #66 of 1009
1/24/08 at 8:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
Only room for one us here, Nick.
Which reminds me: where's my money?
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post #67 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:39pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/22/A-...lap-12508.html
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post #68 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:46pm
I'm in my early 30's, goddammit.
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post #69 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:48pm
Thread Starter 
Dave and Cesar, though...

And MY MOM...

All older.
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post #70 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:49pm
Thread Starter 
I thought Dave was going to bend her over the hostess stand on the way out.
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post #71 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:51pm
Ironically enough, "the back of Peter Cushing's head" could probably be taken two ways.

How is Penny doing, by the way?
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post #72 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick's Blog
I don't mean to disparage folks who have been unable to create a familiar. It's really not easy. There's all sorts of possible complications. In fact, I believe my mother had five or six miscarriages throughout the years following my arrival. I scorched the Earth on my way out, just in case...
Classic!
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post #73 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:51pm
You're in your earliest 30s. You're 30. But you look 32.

Great blog. Save for being wrong about Jeanne Tripplehorn, as usual.
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post #74 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:53pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNewYork View Post
Ironically enough, "the back of Peter Cushing's head" could probably be taken two ways.

How is Penny doing, by the way?
She is 7 months old and HUGE. The body of a dog with the mind of a puppy is a crazy thing. She's great, developing into a very special little lady dog. Thanks for asking.
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post #75 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:53pm
I would have sold all you guys into white slavery if our waitress asked me to.
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post #76 of 1009
1/25/08 at 12:55pm
Thread Starter 
She was insane. Insane. She knew how hot she was but also knew we could overpower her and Casualties of War her ass, so she was kind of awkward and nerdy in a really cute way too. Aside from Steve, who is crap, everyone would have screwed Bob Gunton to get to her.
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post #77 of 1009
1/25/08 at 1:45pm
So Steve was the Michael J. Fox of the group?

If so, was he shaking?
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post #78 of 1009
1/25/08 at 2:25pm
There is a LOT of fucking going on in Mary Worth War.

And apparently your local restaurants.
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post #79 of 1009
1/25/08 at 8:40pm
Quote:
I mean, sure I rub my kid's nose in her shit... or anyone's shit for that matter, but aside from that it's a clean argument.
Fuck you Nick. I can't laugh that hard in a computer lab! My peers will see me, think I'm an idiot, and ostracize me - then I'll have no career. Your blog is killing my future.
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post #80 of 1009
1/26/08 at 4:26pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/25/A-...lap-12608.html
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post #81 of 1009
1/26/08 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
She was insane. Insane. She knew how hot she was but also knew we could overpower her and Casualties of War her ass, so she was kind of awkward and nerdy in a really cute way too. Aside from Steve, who is crap, everyone would have screwed Bob Gunton to get to her.
Yes.

I also would've poisoned Steve with some strange virus.
Oh, wait....
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post #82 of 1009
1/27/08 at 1:41pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/32/A-...lap-12708.html
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post #83 of 1009
1/28/08 at 1:10pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/33/A-...lap-12808.html
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post #84 of 1009
1/28/08 at 1:30pm
My wife is Chinese and she's more terrified of Asian drivers than I am. You think it's bad on the highway, try parking in the lot of a Chinese grocery store.

I find the mega-SUV drivers to be much worse than the Mercedes shitheads around here.
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post #85 of 1009
1/28/08 at 3:54pm
Huh. So Asians aren't good drivers? Wow, that's weird.

I wonder why that would be. Maybe because they're too busy smiling and taking pictures?
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post #86 of 1009
1/28/08 at 4:12pm
And "My stumps ache for healing" makes it's encore performance. Excellent.
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post #87 of 1009
1/29/08 at 3:43pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/44/A-...lap-12908.html
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post #88 of 1009
1/29/08 at 3:49pm
That reminds me of an excellent flicker set I saw several months ago about someone visiting the Godzilla monster museum. The suits were beautiful.
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post #89 of 1009
1/29/08 at 3:50pm
Thread Starter 
They truly are. If he hadn't died in the 70's I think we'd have more fanboy lust for him.
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post #90 of 1009
1/29/08 at 3:52pm
The payoff for that Mary Worth War was fantastic, and you definitely got me intrigued about the Eiji Tsuburaya book.
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post #91 of 1009
1/29/08 at 3:53pm
Leon Rippy.
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post #92 of 1009
1/29/08 at 5:10pm
One of the best MWWs ever. "You're lucky I eat with my lady beatin' hand."
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post #93 of 1009
1/30/08 at 3:06am
I saw King Kong Vs. Godzilla when I was like 6 or 7. I was in a giant Godzilla lust, getting excited every Friday when I got to pick a new one from the shelf at Blockbuster (it was the second row, far left, the two bottom shelves. Once, I spent two weeks very upset till my dad pointed out the two Godzilla's that overlapped onto the top shelf of the next section that I was too short too see.). Either way, when I watched that and saw the ending I fucking cried. No lie, I fucking cried. It blew because the next one I watched had big G fighting the big Rose monster (name escapes me) and I cried again when he fell into a volcano.
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post #94 of 1009
1/30/08 at 1:20pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/45/A-...lap-13008.html
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post #95 of 1009
1/30/08 at 1:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMonsterZero View Post
I saw King Kong Vs. Godzilla when I was like 6 or 7. I was in a giant Godzilla lust, getting excited every Friday when I got to pick a new one from the shelf at Blockbuster (it was the second row, far left, the two bottom shelves. Once, I spent two weeks very upset till my dad pointed out the two Godzilla's that overlapped onto the top shelf of the next section that I was too short too see.). Either way, when I watched that and saw the ending I fucking cried. No lie, I fucking cried. It blew because the next one I watched had big G fighting the big Rose monster (name escapes me) and I cried again when he fell into a volcano.
So what happened when you found out the original Godzilla was really just an evil people stomping bastard?
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post #96 of 1009
1/30/08 at 1:31pm
Crisco fists? Fecal Matrix code? ROACOIWMI!?

Why haven't you always had a blog? Wonderful.
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post #97 of 1009
1/30/08 at 1:35pm
So is Crisco Fists a Halo team?
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post #98 of 1009
1/30/08 at 1:40pm
It is now.

That was fantastic. You drew me in with the serious suggestion and then crisco fisted me from there. I agree with the time freeze thing - that'd be fucking sweet. Firefox is on the right track, but you'd think there'd be more innovation in browsers by now. As for safari... with the newest version I don't find any significant differences between it and firefox - besides being uglier.
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post #99 of 1009
1/30/08 at 1:56pm
Great blog as usual, sir.
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post #100 of 1009
1/30/08 at 2:16pm
Just a request... Would be nice if the subject or subtitle of a particular blog appeared on the "Blogs by this Author" page following the title "A Nice Hard Slap". Otherwise, there's just a date to go by (A Nice Hard Slap (1.25.08), etc), when reading through them. Especially since they all seem to begin the exact same way:

"Welcome to the latest mind-blistering missive from my spent casing of a noggin, filled to the rim with shinola and burgeoning with backwash and partially chewed Red Vines.I've decided that the 'Sla... "

See Andre's for example: "Dellamorte's Dugout: My Impression of Norman Fell"

It's hard to go back and reference anything or know if I already read a particular one. Just a nitpick and I only pointed it out because I plan on reading each of them.

GREAT stuff, by the by.
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