@ Leto II
"Anyone else wanna step up and shine?"
- I actually stumbled across a YouTube video montage of the Adoring Fan getting killed in a multitude of horrible and hilarious ways. I wish I could find it now. I laughed hard, though, seeing him get swept off ledges, or murdered by minotaurs, or immolated by fire traps. Brought back a lot of memories, but the most prominent was climbing a mountain to kill some oaf in the Dark Brotherhood, and watching my Adoring Fan get poleaxed. Because of a strange clipping glitch coupled with the powerful enchantment on the guy's axe, A.F.'s lifeless corpse went cartwheeling down the hill at high speed, careening off rocks and the like, with his limbs jiggling all over because of the rag doll physics. After the murder was complete, I made it my mission to find him and pay my last respects. It took a while, he flew a long way.
- Did you ever find that unicorn in the glade, getting attacked by minotaurs? In my heroic fury, I leapt in, attempting to save the unicorn from his assailants, and may have accidentally walloped him once or twice with my warhammer. At this point he engaged ME. As I thought about it later, I wished Oblivion had multiplayer of some form, because I'm sure it would have been hilarious to watch as I fled across the imperial province, cursing like a sailor as this enraged unicorn rammed me in the ass repeatedly. See, I didn't want to kill him, because he is the best mount in the game, and I thought to maybe grab a Calm spell or something and chill his ass out. So I finally made it to whatever city was closest... to my relief, he did not follow me inside. However, when I came back out to get him, I found that the good citizens had come to my defense against this mad unicorn, and he had (quite stunningly) laid the smack down. Bodies all over, guards, stable hands. Anyone who happened to be in the vicinity. It was ugly. I never found the unicorn again.
** HERE BE SPOILERS**
- In the Arena questline, once you find the Grey Prince some proof of his lineage, he decides to off himself in the arena... by letting you kill him. Well, my blade skill was maxed by this point, so I decided I would be smart and raise my hand-to-hand skill a bunch, since the guy is a beast HP-wise and all he does is stand there. Of course, the crowd went wild as I smacked this poor guy around the arena floor for the next half an hour. During this period of time, I discovered that the Grey Prince has three lines of combat dialogue for the fight, presumably meant to be heard once as you pull out your sword and snuff out his life. However, since I was wildly flailing away at him with my little Imperial fists, he was in a nonstop loop of "I'm the spawn of evil! Again, hit me again! Kill me, I can't do this any longer!" The longer it went on, the more the soundbites ran together, until he was wailing "I'm the spawn of kill me I'm the spawn of again, hit me I'm the kill me, I can't again, I'm the spawn of again.." I suppose it was sort of sick, but if definitely got a laugh out of me the last time I ran the Arena.
- And possibly my favorite Oblivion memory, since it was so hilariously ridiculous: I was decently leveled by this point in my first run through the game, and was pretty exclusively using Marksman. I had that bow you get from the Dark Brotherhood quests, and some arrows with a damage health enchantment. If you've ever used one, you know that the damage health effect makes the character fly into the air on death. So I walk into this fortress ruin, and at the bottom of the stairs, I can see a table with a bandit sitting at it. A female bandit is patrolling around behind him with a dog. As the female bandit turns her back on the dog, I let loose an arrow, which kills the dog. He flies into the air, lands at the bottom of the stairs, and severs the tripline that is strung across it. At this point, the large spiky ball trap that is hanging from the ceiling is loosed, it swings down and obliterates the female bandit. She sails across the room, landing half on the table, and half on the male bandit that is sitting there. She slides down onto his lap, then onto the floor, dragging bowls and lanterns off the table as she does, and lands in an ungraceful heap on the floor. At this point, after about ten seconds of silence, the male bandit at the table turns his head and says "What was that? Did you hear something?" Absolutely slayed me. I guess they have a LITTLE bit of work to do on the enemy AI for Skyrim, at the very least.
This was the game that made the 360 for me. Good times.