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Mental Masturbation - David Wagner's Blog

post #1 of 165
1/30/08 at 5:18pm
Thread Starter 
One of my mentors will be dishing, um... stuff. Hope you are baffled and aroused and infuriated.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/50/Me...ion-13008.html
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post #2 of 165
1/30/08 at 5:29pm
Is that what happens at the clubs in the States? Ouch, that must suck. Here in Canada I hated how the girls come over and try to be your friend only to get pissed at you when you tell them you don't want to spend money on them.

That cell phone thing is a bit much.
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post #3 of 165
1/30/08 at 5:32pm
Thread Starter 
The Russian David speaks of... ain't no joke.

Mr. Cunningham, care to pipe in?
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post #4 of 165
1/30/08 at 5:50pm
I got hung up on this.

Quote:
and while fisting softballs into the gap become a daily affair
I haven't been to a gentlemen's club in a few years, so I haven't seen the new face of entertainment.
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post #5 of 165
1/30/08 at 5:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
The Russian David speaks of... ain't no joke.

Mr. Cunningham, care to pipe in?
Please, no. I have had enough of The Cold War. Being stalked by a chick who could have been a character in "Eastern Promises" did the trick.

I've moved back on to good, young American babes, thank you.

Great blog, Dave!
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post #6 of 165
1/30/08 at 6:19pm
This is pretty much the only time I'm glad I don't make as much money as you guys do. Being stalked by strippers isn't an issue once they realize you're firmly lower middle class.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to my ketchup sandwich.
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post #7 of 165
1/30/08 at 7:10pm
Wow. That sucks. I guess David will have to find a joint where the destitute girls imported to shake their tits for his pleasure aren't under such strict orders to make lots of money to work off their indentured servitude.
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post #8 of 165
1/30/08 at 8:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
This is pretty much the only time I'm glad I don't make as much money as you guys do. Being stalked by strippers isn't an issue once they realize you're firmly lower middle class.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to my ketchup sandwich.
Enjoy it, Mr. Fancypants.
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post #9 of 165
1/30/08 at 8:11pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by R-Lu View Post
Wow. That sucks. I guess David will have to find a joint where the destitute girls imported to shake their tits for his pleasure aren't under such strict orders to make lots of money to work off their indentured servitude.
I can see how you'd think that but trust me... this is no destitute street monchichi who was brought over here against her will.
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post #10 of 165
1/30/08 at 9:10pm
Anyone stupid enough to give their cell phone to a stripper deserves to get harassed.
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post #11 of 165
1/30/08 at 10:37pm
Judgmental blather from The Prick Contingent is as sweet as molasses.
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post #12 of 165
1/30/08 at 10:39pm
Thread Starter 
How to be a Human Being. Badly.
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post #13 of 165
1/30/08 at 11:56pm
I hate everything, but won't leave.
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post #14 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Cunningham View Post
Judgmental blather from The Prick Contingent is as sweet as molasses.
It's judgmental to say that it's stupid to A) give your phone number to a stripper, and then B) get upset when she calls the number you gave her?
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post #15 of 165
1/31/08 at 3:14am
Carl Cunningham ranks right under Django in "Comebacks That Should've Never Happened."
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post #16 of 165
1/31/08 at 3:38am
Careful, Flyarz, you may get put on Nick's ever-growing List Of People Who Are Out To Get Me.

On the plus side, you'd get to hang out with me, all the posters who left CHUD, half the people who write for the main page, Shane Salerno, people who play Guitar Hero, Asian drivers, 80 feet of prehistoric terror, Aint It Cool News, people who don't understand his comics, Mr. Fistapart Shatterharm Esq. III, and everybody in Hollywood.
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post #17 of 165
1/31/08 at 9:51am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater View Post
Careful, Flyarz, you may get put on Nick's ever-growing List Of People Who Are Out To Get Me.

On the plus side, you'd get to hang out with me, all the posters who left CHUD, half the people who write for the main page, Shane Salerno, people who play Guitar Hero, Asian drivers, 80 feet of prehistoric terror, Aint It Cool News, people who don't understand his comics, Mr. Fistapart Shatterharm Esq. III, and everybody in Hollywood.
So angry! So angry!
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post #18 of 165
1/31/08 at 10:00am
Guys, can we all calm down and talk about titties more? Please? Titties...
(Sure as shit ain't happening in the boob thread.)

I really dig the blog. In what way do you mean mentor Nick?
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post #19 of 165
1/31/08 at 11:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater View Post
It's judgmental to say that it's stupid to A) give your phone number to a stripper, and then B) get upset when she calls the number you gave her?
Yes, because you are jumping to multiple conclusions, including the assumption that I'm really "upset" about any of it. We're talking about strippers here, not mafia hitmen. It's amusing and annoying, but ultimately harmless. Kind of like you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by flyarz
Carl Cunningham ranks right under Django in "Comebacks That Should've Never Happened."
So says the goose-stepping little punk ass from Philly. I think I'll live.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
Careful, Flyarz, you may get put on Nick's ever-growing List Of People Who Are Out To Get Me.
I prefer to call the list Pathetic Assholes Who Take Themselves Far Too Seriously. But to each his own. Cheers.
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post #20 of 165
1/31/08 at 11:46am

Great to see responses to the blog...

I don't believe I ever said that anyone gave their phone number. What I was referring to was that the phone was programmed without consent. I should have made that stipulation in the blog.

I appreciate all of the interesting directions the topic has gone. I know that strip clubs are considered taboo to many, but they are really just a place of business and it is largely what you make of it. Like anything, taken too seriously it can have lasting side effects.

I should also point out that this wasn't purely about any one person being victimized. If you spend long enough at the place in question you get to watch these girls work, it is almost frightening to see how efficient and conniving they are. The place should be fun for all and not a tiger trap.
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post #21 of 165
1/31/08 at 11:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Wagner View Post
I know that strip clubs are considered taboo to many,
Do you live in the 1950's?
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post #22 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:04pm
Do you know many women? Ever watch a community fight to keep one from opening? Read ordinances written specifically dealing with not allowing indecency? Wonder why there aren't windows in any strip clubs? Take a look around sport, those are McDonald's on the corners, not Penthouse clubs.
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post #23 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:12pm
Are you equating the CHUD readers to people who picket strip clubs?
Because the people responding to your blog hardly consider the places to be taboo. I myself consider them to be sad little places for men to squemish to visit a brothel.
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post #24 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Do you live in the 1950's?
Move to Florida.
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post #25 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Are you equating the CHUD readers to people who picket strip clubs?
Because the people responding to your blog hardly consider the places to be taboo. I myself consider them to be sad little places for men to squemish to visit a brothel.
Picket? No. But don't assume all of us are familiar with the environment.

Besides, those on CHUD who would be familiar - might agree with his point in the first place. The rest of us are just intrigued.
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post #26 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Are you equating the CHUD readers to people who picket strip clubs?
Because the people responding to your blog hardly consider the places to be taboo. I myself consider them to be sad little places for men to squemish to visit a brothel.
Brothels don't advertise in the Sports section. Also, less chance of infection with just oily, baby powder smelling tits in my face.

What we're we talking about again?
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post #27 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:21pm
Tits
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post #28 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMonsterZero View Post

Besides, those on CHUD who would be familiar - might agree with his point in the first place. The rest of us are just intrigued.
Not quite sure what you're getting at.
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post #29 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Not quite sure what you're getting at.
Sorry if it was unclear. Just commenting on the negative nancyism.
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post #30 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:34pm
No negating my negative nancyism!
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post #31 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:35pm
Bah. At the end of the day it's refreshing to be belligerent to each other online because of something to do with sexy naked chicks instead of debates over costumes in super hero movies, politics, religion, midichlorians, and who has the biggest cock among online movie nerds.
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post #32 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:36pm
Touche, sir. Toufuckingche.
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post #33 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:36pm
This is an online movie nerds site????? What have I done.....
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post #34 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:38pm
My cock is pretty big, and I'm assuming a pretty high midichlorian count, it's always playing Jedi mind tricks on me, making me do shit that I really don't want to do.
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post #35 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Cunningham View Post
who has the biggest cock among online movie nerds.
Cobretti.
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post #36 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Cunningham View Post
...who has the biggest cock among online movie nerds.
That would be me. I know this because a stripper told me so as I slipped another twenty into her g-string.
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post #37 of 165
1/31/08 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Wagner View Post
This is an online movie nerds site????? What have I done.....
It's called The Sewer for a damn good reason.
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post #38 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Wagner View Post
I don't believe I ever said that anyone gave their phone number. What I was referring to was that the phone was programmed without consent. I should have made that stipulation in the blog.

I appreciate all of the interesting directions the topic has gone. I know that strip clubs are considered taboo to many, but they are really just a place of business and it is largely what you make of it. Like anything, taken too seriously it can have lasting side effects.

I should also point out that this wasn't purely about any one person being victimized. If you spend long enough at the place in question you get to watch these girls work, it is almost frightening to see how efficient and conniving they are. The place should be fun for all and not a tiger trap.
I can't imagine any situation where a stripper is able to program her name into your phone where it's not your fault, sport. What, did she pick your pocket at Arbys or something?

And you were "victimized"? Because a stripper called your house? Did you mentor Nick in how to combine hyperbole and paranoia into one miserable existence, by any chance?
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post #39 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:19pm
Thread Starter 
You need to get back on your meds, Jeremy. Way it looks is that you're REALLY bitter about something and taking it out on the place and guy who gave you a place to showcase just how brilliant and whipsmart you really are. Maybe your wife can help you with that...
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post #40 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:23pm
I generally stay out of these, but that was pretty low.
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post #41 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:25pm
How did the stripper get the work number? Did she copy down all of the numbers in the cell directory? Can't you just block her number on the cell phone in question? Not trying to be smartass, just wondering.
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post #42 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:27pm
Thread Starter 
Fuck that, man. I'm tired of people using my bandwidth as a means to piss on this place I'm pretty fucking proud of building.
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post #43 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:27pm
Um, is that to me?
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post #44 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:30pm
Thread Starter 
Nah, Mr. Slater. The guy that used to write here and who I don't remember ever being all that harsh to but got too good and is now here to take potshots. I don't get it. That said, he's hardly alone. I am apparently a real dick.
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post #45 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:30pm
Maybe Rath was referring to the guy that started it and has been generally quick with the ad hominem attacks lately.

Then again, maybe not.

And, note to Dave: every word and term in a loose blog or post will apparently be taken for literal face value. Be warned and castigated, you evil purveyor of hyperbole!
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post #46 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:33pm
I'm just saying, for Nick, who has rightfully gotten upset about people taking shots at his wife, his kid, and his father in the past, to immediately go there, as it were, is pretty low and hypocritical. That's it. I'm staying out of this one.
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post #47 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu View Post
I'm just saying, for Nick, who has rightfully gotten upset about people taking shots at his wife, his kid, and his father in the past, to immediately go there, as it were, is pretty low and hypocritical. That's it. I'm staying out of this one.
Good job of "staying out of" it. You may as well join the fray. Have some fun.
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post #48 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:37pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu View Post
I'm just saying, for Nick, who has rightfully gotten upset about people taking shots at his wife, his kid, and his father in the past, to immediately go there, as it were, is pretty low and hypocritical. That's it. I'm staying out of this one.
It's one thing to make fun of someone's dead father or post pictures of my daughter made to look dead and something else and another thing to rub salt on a wound of a guy who is being a total cunt by cracking a divorce joke.
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post #49 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
Fuck that, man. I'm tired of people using my bandwidth as a means to piss on this place I'm pretty fucking proud of building.
The same place you were desperate to sell to IGN? The same place you muse about shutting down every five or six months whenever you have one of your mood swings?

And yep, I'm done with my marriage and you're done with Meg. One of those was by choice.
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post #50 of 165
1/31/08 at 2:38pm
Thread Starter 
But Rath, you've written for a the site a while. Might be time to be the next contributor who gets elite and leaves this place to greener pastures.

And then never be able to stay away.
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