Mental Masturbation - David Wagner's Blog - Page 2

Thing is, Nick and Slater would probably really get along if they met up in real life. The internet is a fucked joint.

That said, are you sure gettting a number into your phone, calling you, eating with you and sticking you with the bill wasn't just part of some elaborate strip tease?

OH SHIT, RATH JUST MADE THE LIST......

Fuck that! I propose pistols at dawn. Or at least fisticuffs at San Diego Comic-Con. There would be no shortage of volunteers from either side.

Poor Nick. You have no idea how many of your so-called friends like to gossip about you behind your back. You'd be surprised some of the stuff I know. And some of the people I heard it from.

Actually, I don't think he'd be surprised at all. What's surprising is how much you think Nick cares about that Too Cool For School clique. Nick's problem is that he's tried to be diplomatic about things. That is/was his mistake. I'd have dropped the bomb on most of you fuckers and cut all ties eons ago.

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Damn this thread. I'm not going to get a lick of work done today.

This whole argument could be done faster and meaner in the chat!
We are all waiting there with popcorn and beers.

Yeah, I heard he was in the running for John Bolton's job.

Nick, you can (and will) believe whatever you want, but you're the one who started talking shit behind people's backs. Don't act surprised that it's finally catching up to you.

"I can count on a hand the people I know are truly my home team and not backtalkers."

Nick, I think the "home team" thing is overplayed, and frankly a little insulting. I know you get nothing but unwavering loyalty from Carl and a lot of the other Georgia folks, but there's no reason to think that just because somebody criticizes something about site content they're undercutting you.

I'm looking at this new blog feature that's been talked about a lot with the site redesign, and apart from the stuff Dre's done, most of what I see is a couple of posts about the pleasures of strip joints, the perils of bad Azn/old driving and some guy ranting about late-night girdle commercials. I guess that will grow the site if your target audience is guys who think Maxim is edgy and people who complain about airplane food, but with the way the main page continues to get better and better minute by minute, why not show a little something in the blogs that isn't going to alienate the portion of your readership that is either female or human (or both)? Why not bring your A game?

But if you express something like that, then Lapdog Carl labels you part of The Prick Contingent or the Too Cool For School club.

(As an aside, Alex's blog stuff is also good.)


[Although, dude, Romero went to college and made his movies here. The stuff you can choose. And he's got a house here. Of course he's ours.]

Here's the voice of someone not involved in this fracas - I come to CHUD for movie stuff. I really don't care about the trouble that a graying bachelor/wannabe-bachelor in Georgia gets into at a stripclub. I'm staying away from blogs like that. Is this what all the redesign fuss was about?

First of all, your assumption that I was victimized at all is completely wrong. I merely observed behaviors going on at tables in the area. The dancers that call my phone have my permission to do so.

Secondly its your lack of imagination that has you trolling forums looking to fuck someone with your wit. Well, much like offline, you won't be doing any fucking here. Get a life, maybe buy a girlfriend that doesn't need an inflator valve.

Well, yeah. Where else are you going to get a glimpse into what TuckerMax.com will be like in fifteen years?

Could we all set aside our differences and conflicts and instead focus on our common enemy?

Well, are you throwing ex-wife jabs at Notre Dame Kid, too?

Or just rent one at the Bada Bing, right?

Wait-- did the guy who talked at length online about his time-tested approach to strip club fun just make an "inflatable girlfriend" joke? That just happened, didn't it?

See, Nick? You are one of us!!

How long you think it took Kris Benson to get back into that action?

And here is a second person (who isn't close to anyone in this fracas) saying the same thing: If Chud's new passion is centered around strippers (I was in chat when you tossed out your new Ask A Stripper bit, Nick), smoking cigars, beer league softball and golf than you guys are about as interesting as lint. I can walk into any company and find any number of sad-eyed flabby middle-aged white guys interested in the same things and I can't tell them apart.

Stick with the movie news. You are great at it. Social commentary? Not so much.

Senility is a bitch.

You mean like trolling strip clubs at nearly forty years of age? Or something else? If something else, tell him to post about that stuff, and post the other crap in the Sex forum where the fabfunks hang out.

To be fair, you and John split the check.

You know, there will come a day when all these inflatable girlfriends cracks will be replaced exclusively with RealDoll cracks.

And that will be a fine day indeed.

Actually, I'm also judging him by his Nation's Punched material.

Not sure how you equate this to me being victimized. A friend had this happen to him and I watched it happen at almost every table a certain blond stripper visited.

Senility is a bitch, how's stupidity treating you?

As a side note, more people are viewing this forum than any other.


Carry on.

Not really. It just seems like a smart business decision to me.

Eh, it's all in fun. Isn't it?

Okay, so your friend is the retard. You're just the guy who brags about playing with himself in the back corner of a strip club.

Wait, Carl's divorced? No wonder he's not on Chud anymore. He's gotta be working like 4 jobs to deal with that bill.

First off, I'm no one's "lapdog". I hate you insufferable assholes on my own accord. Sure, Nick's been a longtime personal friend, but as he mentioned we've been known to give each other a hard time too. That's because there is no contrived bullshit or self-serving ulterior motives underlying everything.

Secondly, you can ditch the schadenfreude, R-LU. I'm perfectly happy with the whole divorce thing and the ex and I actually parted amicably and get along just fine. And though she's seeing a great new gentlemen she's free to have fun with whoever she wants, including underperforming MLB players. So crack divorce jokes all you want, because it won't be at my expense. It would be kind of sad to see you have to fish for a different tune, though.

I came out of it remarkably unscathed (including financially), actually. I should write a book about it.

I'm not on CHUD much anymore because I actually have free time these days and spend it more constructively, like hanging out with friends IRL and dating 18-25 year olds.

He's "challenged", what are you a social moron as well? Geesh.

About you imagining me playing with myself. I have two words, seek help.