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The List of Dumb - Page 3

post #101 of 760
4/7/08 at 7:36pm
He's the guy from the band Extreme (more than wooooo-ooords) who didn't end up in Van Halen.
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post #102 of 760
4/7/08 at 8:07pm
The spritzen/sitzen picture and write-up was beautiful. If only I wasn't so keen on this lego Mr. Freeze avatar right now..
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post #103 of 760
4/7/08 at 8:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
He's the guy from the band Extreme (more than wooooo-ooords) who ended up in Perry Farrell's new band Satellite Party.
Going by these Lists of Dumb (which I enjoy), if one wanted to meet/stalk/assassinate Nick, one would only have to go to the Barnes & Noble in Alpharetta...and wait.
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post #104 of 760
4/7/08 at 11:53pm
Dammit. I've been found out.

Also, anyone else notice that some of the talkbacks aren't accepting the verification alphanumerics despite the fact that I'm entering them correctly?
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post #105 of 760
4/8/08 at 10:18am
excellent....
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post #106 of 760
4/8/08 at 11:59am
But what you don't understand about The Descender is that his cool-cat strides are how he gets the chicks.
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post #107 of 760
4/8/08 at 3:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
But what you don't understand about The Descender is that his cool-cat strides are how he gets the chicks.
The Descender is going to be my new moniker on Match.com.
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post #108 of 760
4/8/08 at 3:16pm
Get ready for some winks, or whatever the fuck they do.
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post #109 of 760
4/8/08 at 4:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Get ready for some winks, or whatever the fuck they do.
Masturbate while wailing at their ten cats about how they can't find a true soulmate?
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post #110 of 760
4/11/08 at 1:57pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-16/Page1.html
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post #111 of 760
4/11/08 at 2:02pm
Quote:
It's bad enough to own a grease trap business. To be undecided about your name, well that's just faggot.
The noun form of faggot in this case makes it way more hilarious than 'faggotry'.

But DSV, what was it like it? WHAT WAS IT LIKE?!?
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post #112 of 760
4/11/08 at 2:05pm
Loved the Dumb this time. Was that the Gwinnett towers of power off of 85?
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post #113 of 760
4/11/08 at 2:08pm
Was having such a shitty day until I read this and then I laughed and laughed. Thanks for that.
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post #114 of 760
4/11/08 at 2:10pm
Funny shit, Nick.

I can only assume the ROLFD plate refers to this.
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post #115 of 760
4/11/08 at 2:41pm
That was fucking hysterical. Thanks a lot Nick.
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post #116 of 760
4/11/08 at 3:05pm
Someone call Comedy Central. I believe that's a knock-off Cartman doll.

Let's shut that Nazi store down!

Good article btw.
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post #117 of 760
4/11/08 at 4:19pm
Quote:
Either that, or the lady who drives this car just got fucked by a German.
Bloody Brilliant
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post #118 of 760
4/11/08 at 9:56pm
Not the bunny crucifixion! NOT THE BUNNY CRUCIFIXION! Then again, when you stop to think about it, the crucified Easter Bunny does represent a sort of "Greatest Hits" overlap of the post-Easter holiday.

(*Goes to vacuum the DSV out from under the sofa*)
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post #119 of 760
4/13/08 at 3:07am
It turns out old visas work pretty well as bait. I've also fashioned a very realistic looking lure from Steve's beard and the last remnants of Will's soul.

That's one fucked up store, by the way.
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post #120 of 760
4/13/08 at 3:41am
Great finds with the personalized license plates, Nick. I noticed the ROLFED one was a VA plate. I live in Virginia and it seems like almost every plate is personalized.

Here's one I spotted in a parking lot at Target the other day:

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post #121 of 760
4/14/08 at 4:10am
that was some funny shit ...
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post #122 of 760
4/22/08 at 5:57pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-17/Page1.html
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post #123 of 760
4/22/08 at 6:02pm
"I don't trust Jesus to protect my head."

Hahaha, excellent.
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post #124 of 760
4/22/08 at 6:13pm
I was going to send in a photo of a car that had a "the shocker" sticker on it tastefully presented. But, I couldn't get a good photo without the possibility of dieing in flaming wreckage. I will try harder next time.
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post #125 of 760
4/22/08 at 6:18pm
"She's had her period but apparently not an apostrophe"

Fantastic.
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post #126 of 760
4/22/08 at 6:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
"I don't trust Jesus to protect my head."

Hahaha, excellent.
Seconded.
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post #127 of 760
4/22/08 at 7:10pm
Wow, I really don't get why someone would put "Honk... im not legal" on their rear window. Why would you want anyone to honk for that? Are they proud of their 15 year old nymphomaniac? Or are they afraid of age-conscious rapists? Perhaps they're just very brazen car thieves.

I guess they could also be staunch opponents of MSN messenger. Come to think of it, there are a million reasons for that message.
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post #128 of 760
4/22/08 at 7:41pm
Quote:
Martin Luther King, Jr. is spinning in his tomb while dodging burning crosses from dead Travis Tritt acolytes.
This absolutely destroyed me. Bravo Sir.
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post #129 of 760
4/22/08 at 8:38pm
...pretty sure those are Mormons on the bikes and not Jehovah's Witnesses. In my experience, JW's travel as a couple...Mormons send young, white boys on bicycles.
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post #130 of 760
4/22/08 at 10:05pm
Thread Starter 
I am proud to not know the differences between annoying religious groups.
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post #131 of 760
4/23/08 at 2:37am
Touché.
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post #132 of 760
4/23/08 at 11:14pm
Saw this is my mother-in-law's garage and thought of you guys:

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post #133 of 760
4/23/08 at 11:27pm
"This text collection is like having dinner with Crispin Glover, Marlee Matlin, and a vacuum cleaner."

Nice.
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post #134 of 760
4/28/08 at 10:03pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-18/Page1.html
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post #135 of 760
4/28/08 at 10:23pm
Ah the Chewer plate - good stuff. And I started doing the "Name McName" bit because of CHUD so it's good to see another one of those pop up.

And the "A Dollar" directory assistance was gold.
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post #136 of 760
4/28/08 at 10:25pm
Another good installment. Man, the DSVs have me laughing my ass off every time.

My wife doesn't frequent CHUD at all, but I relay any news I know she'd be interested in from CHUD when I read it. I've mentioned The List of the Dumb before and even the DSV and she has responded with the opposite of enthusiasm.

But CHUD is starting to have some sway on her, because the other day she just walked up to me and said "Corndog is my favorite taste."
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post #137 of 760
4/28/08 at 10:25pm
No matter how crappy of a day I'm having that down syndrome vampire never fails to make me laugh. Thanks Nick.
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post #138 of 760
4/28/08 at 10:42pm
Last time I was in Vegas, I played in a black-light mini golf course. It was very elaborate and was a long winding tunnel of shit. Kind of a stoner putt-putt labyrinth sans Bowie-Junk, if you will.

Oh and Nick, I have a picture or two that I've been sitting on that might be good for this, want em?
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post #139 of 760
4/28/08 at 11:36pm
The #1 Pick-Up As Voted by Angus Scrimm = better than we deserve.
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post #140 of 760
4/29/08 at 11:54am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renn Brown View Post
Last time I was in Vegas, I played in a black-light mini golf course. It was very elaborate and was a long winding tunnel of shit. Kind of a stoner putt-putt labyrinth sans Bowie-Junk, if you will.

Oh and Nick, I have a picture or two that I've been sitting on that might be good for this, want em?
Send pictures!
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post #141 of 760
4/29/08 at 3:35pm
"Rhonnie, I'm leaving you and I'm taking the coffin" is priceless.

By the way, the next time you're in NY, you really have to visit Woodhaven Mall in Rego Park, Queens. Once you've seen the assortment of troglodytes knuckle-dragging their way around the foodcourt, you'll understand when I tell you what particular store didn't survive out at that mall. A bookstore. Yes, a bookstore - really, Woodhaven Mall is the only mall I've ever seen without a bookstore. And I'm from NJ, land of malls, so when I tell you I've never been in a mall without a bookstore till Woodhaven, that's the truth. And it's not like an attempt wasn't made - they did give a quick reach-around to people who actually read and opened up a Walden Books back in the spring of 1999. But it dried up in six months - not enough small shiny objects.
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post #142 of 760
4/29/08 at 4:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
"Rhonnie, I'm leaving you and I'm taking the coffin" is priceless.

By the way, the next time you're in NY, you really have to visit Woodhaven Mall in Rego Park, Queens. Once you've seen the assortment of troglodytes knuckle-dragging their way around the foodcourt, you'll understand when I tell you what particular store didn't survive out at that mall. A bookstore. Yes, a bookstore - really, Woodhaven Mall is the only mall I've ever seen without a bookstore. And I'm from NJ, land of malls, so when I tell you I've never been in a mall without a bookstore till Woodhaven, that's the truth. And it's not like an attempt wasn't made - they did give a quick reach-around to people who actually read and opened up a Walden Books back in the spring of 1999. But it dried up in six months - not enough small shiny objects.

There are plenty of malls in the L. A. area that don't have bookstores. I think the rise of B&N and Border's superstores have sent the mall bookstore down the way of the dodo.
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post #143 of 760
4/29/08 at 4:33pm
Discover Mills redeems with IMAX, even though it's smallish.
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post #144 of 760
4/29/08 at 4:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
There are plenty of malls in the L. A. area that don't have bookstores. I think the rise of B&N and Border's superstores have sent the mall bookstore down the way of the dodo.
Yes, but most mall bookstores that I've seen aren't little mom and pop places. They're just small versions of the superstores - small B&N, small Borders, etc. Believe me, inhabitants of Woodhaven Mall are not readers, that's why there's not one out there.
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post #145 of 760
5/2/08 at 6:32pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-19/Page1.html
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post #146 of 760
5/2/08 at 6:43pm
Beverly Hills Chihuahua?! Sweet Jesus.
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post #147 of 760
5/2/08 at 6:51pm
"Beverly Hills Chihuahua"? Fuck life.

EDIT: Dammit, Hocken!
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post #148 of 760
5/2/08 at 6:55pm
The solitary goose and the hiding goat fucking killed me.
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post #149 of 760
5/2/08 at 6:56pm
I am also confused.
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post #150 of 760
5/2/08 at 7:03pm
The simplest things tend to be the funniest. It just is.
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