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The List of Dumb - Page 2

post #51 of 760
2/29/08 at 1:48pm
Awe inspiring, Nick.

I'm curious, does DSV put onions in his salad? I mean, he can hear them, and I wonder, assuming he does put them in a salad, if they want to be there, like it's their one and only wish in this world.

I like the religious theme! Theme lists are something you should consider more often!
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post #52 of 760
2/29/08 at 2:13pm
Quote:
Jesus's cock is a blocky maelstrom that is a thick hateness when flaccid and a mushroom cloud of cervix smashing armageddon when hard. Two kids are no match for it. Bigpussy O'Reilly, owner of the world's loosest pants bag, is no match for it. Jesus is hung all the time.
Holy Shit...that is awesome....

DSV being great goes without saying...
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post #53 of 760
2/29/08 at 2:18pm
No lie, the house I am currently renting has that Jesuswitch in the bedroom. I have a tall dresser/armoire in front of it and never really noticed how suggestive it was until all the internet hub-bub lately (it was out of sight behind the armoire for 2 & 1/2 years). It popped up online and I thought "I had a switch like that in some house I rented". It's the one I'm in now. I'll post pics ASAP. I showed my wife and now she refuses to use it.

Since I'll probably lose much of my deposit when I move (my landlord's a cunt), I WILL be taking the switch with me.
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post #54 of 760
2/29/08 at 2:21pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
No lie, the house I am currently renting has that Jesuswitch in the bedroom. I have a tall dresser/armoire in front of it and never really noticed how suggestive it was until all the internet hub-bub lately (it was out of sight behind the armoire for 2 & 1/2 years). It popped up online and I thought "I had a switch like that in some house I rented". It's the one I'm in now. I'll post pics ASAP. I showed my wife and now she refuses to use it.

Since I'll probably lose much of my deposit when I move (my landlord's a cunt), I WILL be taking the switch with me.
You know... that would nice in my office. Just saying...
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post #55 of 760
2/29/08 at 2:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
You know... that would nice in my office. Just saying...
How these things haven't exploded on ebay I'll never know.
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post #56 of 760
3/3/08 at 3:00pm
I'd just like to say, Jesuswitch changed my entire perception of reality.

Thanks CHUD!
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post #57 of 760
3/9/08 at 3:02pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/13...-11/Page1.html
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post #58 of 760
3/9/08 at 3:18pm
I never let the DSV eat dogfood. I fed him a Godfather on sourdough - he gets confused sometimes.
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post #59 of 760
3/9/08 at 3:20pm
Thread Starter 
Lisa you rock the planet.
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post #60 of 760
3/9/08 at 5:16pm
Another great list, and another great entry into the lore of that lovable little scamp, the Down Syndrome Vampire. He's adorable. I want to take him home, and put him in a shoe box under my bed, and feed him banana chips. That's what I want to do.
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post #61 of 760
3/22/08 at 5:59am
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-12/Page1.html
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post #62 of 760
3/23/08 at 9:12pm
The DSV told me to tell you to tell talkback Mike to go suck a dick. And he doesn't even know what that means! I'm telling you - this new headgear we have for him is working miracles for every time he runs into a wall.
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post #63 of 760
3/24/08 at 4:28pm
DSV was great as usual. But the Reba and Jewlery write ups were fucking awesome.
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post #64 of 760
3/28/08 at 4:40pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-13/Page1.html
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post #65 of 760
3/28/08 at 4:46pm
MPANTS. What the hell? And I love that "tooth's" has an apostrophe in it. I don't know if it was a typo or intentional, but it made me laugh.
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post #66 of 760
3/28/08 at 4:47pm
Heart M Pants? I can't figure this one out and it hurts.
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post #67 of 760
3/28/08 at 4:47pm
Thread Starter 
100% intentional, Jer.
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post #68 of 760
3/28/08 at 4:48pm
No, actually, the DSV's tooth's are MPASTED.
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post #69 of 760
3/28/08 at 4:49pm
I'm just asking for a friend, but cheeseburger flavored egg rolls are widely available? It's not just a Georgia thing?

Finally got the Schwan's link to load. I would have to talk to a broker to find cheeseburger flavored egg rolls...for a friend.
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post #70 of 760
3/28/08 at 5:12pm
That crawlspace billboard is pretty lame, but not as bad as the one between Green Bay and Appleton that is advertising the Poop Patrol, a business dedicated to coming to your house and cleaning up your dog's turds.

Also, what are the DSV's teeth pasted WITH, and do I really want to know?
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post #71 of 760
3/28/08 at 6:35pm
menopaunch...Holy Shit...I almost fell outta my fucking chair...

and DSV continues to rock...pasted tooth's and all.
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post #72 of 760
3/28/08 at 7:15pm
Welcome to the '90's re: school resource officers. We had one at my high school (graduated in '96) and I live in Dullsville, USA.

The idea of a public Guitar Hero practice is pretty stupid. At least make it some kind of tournament or something.
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post #73 of 760
3/28/08 at 9:00pm
Yeah. I loves me some Rock Band and (early) Guitar Heroes but that shit is retarded. But, I guess it's inevitable. People charge for Halo lessons and that's just as stupid.

Also, menopaunch delighted me to no end. Not in reality...
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post #74 of 760
3/29/08 at 2:42am
Guitar Hero practice, like it's been said if your gonna waste time practicing pretend guitar playing, just pick up the real thing. It's infinitely more fulfilling.
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post #75 of 760
3/31/08 at 1:16pm
totally perplexed.

Heart Implants maybe? as opposed to Heart Transplants?

or I heart Infants?

or maybe its just I love 'em pants. I love them pants...
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post #76 of 760
3/31/08 at 1:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams View Post
Guitar Hero practice, like it's been said if your gonna waste time practicing pretend guitar playing, just pick up the real thing. It's infinitely more fulfilling.
It's too hard. You gotta pluck strings and learn notes and shit. It's more fun to tap on a few color coded buttons at the right time and jiggle a switch.
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post #77 of 760
4/1/08 at 1:43pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-14/Page1.html
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post #78 of 760
4/1/08 at 1:49pm
Thankfully, I haven't seen too many crocs out in public around here, but my soul wept a little when I learned that my step-mom owned a pair. I believe she only uses them for gardening, but still...

Oh, and DSV deserves more than just a measly ol' dollar bill for his pillow teef. That little fucker deserves at least a sawbuck! Get on the Easter Bunny! Or are you too busy hiding multi-colored eggs? Whatever. Dick.
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post #79 of 760
4/1/08 at 1:55pm
Crocs = Jellies for everyone.

Just wear sandals.
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post #80 of 760
4/1/08 at 1:58pm
Fucking. Aces.

Quote:
Frost Giant Removal - 1-800-ICY-GONE.
is fantastic.

Great List of Dumb. I'm amazed at how funny DSV remains, given the right sentence.
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post #81 of 760
4/1/08 at 1:59pm
Like Zubas or Skids, the thing that confuses me about Crocs is that there's no good reason to wear them in lieu of flip flops, moccasins, scuba booties, gummi stilletos, or any member of various, less appalling footwear genres.
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post #82 of 760
4/1/08 at 2:00pm
Quote:
Free Birdbath Quotes - 678-522-8206.
I want to call this number...
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post #83 of 760
4/1/08 at 2:29pm
Sneakers, people. Good old regular, nothing-stupid-or-mockable about them sneakers. For great shoes that are comfy AND you can garden in? Fucking sneakers. There's no reason for Crocs to even exist on this planet.

I actually cracked up a little at my desk when I saw the DSV's latest adventure. The DSV is gonna get me fired, so he'd better have more money than that from his teef.
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post #84 of 760
4/1/08 at 2:45pm
If I ever get so concerned about people wearing Crocs that I start taking surreptitious pictures of them and posting them on the web in order to make snarky comments about them, I hope someone will step in and see that I get the proper professional help that I so obviously, desperately need.

I mean, I see horrible fashion choices every damn day. What is it about Crocs that needs so much singling out?

(EDIT) And to stop the tide before it begins, no, I do not own a single pair of Crocs.
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post #85 of 760
4/1/08 at 2:47pm
Thread Starter 
I was there. I had my camera. It was fun.

I don't exactly seek out to be Mr. Blackwell or anything. Just having a goof and figured the readers might dig it. No secret motive.
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post #86 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
(EDIT) And to stop the tide before it begins, no, I do not own a single pair of Crocs.
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post #87 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:06pm
I'm still trying to figure out why Crocs exist when every other shoe out there already serves every purpose necessary when it comes to footwear.
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post #88 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
I was there. I had my camera. It was fun.

Eh, just givin' ya a hard time. It's just that to me, all this recent complaining about Crocs is more irritating than the shoes themselves.

And Minsky, I'll have you know I stopped wearing berets in the mid-70's.
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post #89 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:16pm
My dad owns Crocs. I am ashamed to be his son.
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post #90 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:20pm
Tati, you are surrounded by sandy beaches and the big blue ocean.

This guy was in a bookstore in Atlanta.
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post #91 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
Tati, you are surrounded by sandy beaches and the big blue ocean.

This guy was in a bookstore in Atlanta.
And said footwear contained socks.

Isn't that the whole reason for wearing these type of foot containers? So you don't need socks?
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post #92 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
If I ever get so concerned about people wearing Crocs that I start taking surreptitious pictures of them and posting them on the web in order to make snarky comments about them, I hope someone will step in and see that I get the proper professional help that I so obviously, desperately need.

I mean, I see horrible fashion choices every damn day. What is it about Crocs that needs so much singling out?
Maybe because they are so hard to ignore. I mean, why do grown adults feel the need to wear neon yellow and orange crocs?

Jennie Garth has been getting hammered in the gossip rags for this particular photoshoot in Redbook. I hope she was getting a lucrative endorsement fee for that because no sane person should love Crocs this much.

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post #93 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:23pm
Again, Buenos Aires is comparable to New York in terms of Metropolitan big ass cities. The Beaches are to the South. Mar del Plata.

My Dad lives in Buenos Aires. He uses them to go to the supermarket and hang in his home.
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post #94 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:25pm
The sister shoes, Alligs, are a little easier to stomach. Half as many holes. Muted colors only. Teeth on the bottom and on top. Built-in foot smell trapper.
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post #95 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:50pm
I've heard they're a little more docile as well. Any truth to that?
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post #96 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:52pm
good stuff as usual
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post #97 of 760
4/1/08 at 3:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Sneakers, people. Good old regular, nothing-stupid-or-mockable about them sneakers. For great shoes that are comfy AND you can garden in? Fucking sneakers.
This would be a fucking great ad campaign....
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post #98 of 760
4/7/08 at 7:12pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...-15/Page1.html
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post #99 of 760
4/7/08 at 7:20pm
The descender has a vastly changing leg size.
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post #100 of 760
4/7/08 at 7:23pm
Afraid I don't quite catch the Nuno Bettencourt reference. Someone help a brotha out?
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