Torque

This makes me sad that Nick's thread disappeared. This is my guilty pleasure. Mind you, I haven't bothered with any of the Fast and the Furious movies after the first, but this is more than enough corporate-sponsored testosterone for me.

Plus Jamie Pressly outhots anything breathing or just functioning in this movie.

Also, the kind of Super Pursuit Mode used in the showdown made both KITT and StreetHawk blush.

Just noticed yesterday, since a Torque thread has the same effect on me as "Catcher in the Rye" and Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory:

Dane Cook -yes, Dane Cook- is the wannabe biker that, along with his girlfriend, gets p.u.n.c.h.e.d in the face by Matt Schulze when trying to take a pic of him.

You will be pleased to know that the genius behind Torque is a big friend of CHUD now. He is a Mary Worth War fan, which makes him someone I want to send a little Easter Basket to.

Great news to hear. His DVD commentary along practically the whole cast (most of them forgetting their restraining orders against Matt Schulze) is what definitely sold the movie to me.

As if the very first time the movie hadn't come to me in the theater offering me a $1000 check...

I've never seen this movie in its entirety but every now and again, I'll flip to it when it's on TNT or TBS or whichever channel plays it non-stop and I will watch in awe at one of its flash-driven, logic-defying, bike chases that look like an extended TV commercial helmed by a music video director and wonder what film would be so shamelessly flashy. Within mere moments of this thought, the image of either Ice Cube or Martin Henderson (that's his name right?) will send the words "Torque" shooting into my brain and I will feel this immediate impulse to change the channel. For cautionary purposes, I will have to surf up or down at least 15 to 20 channels away, so as to avoid accidentally being sucked in again. The only regret in all this is I have still yet to see hot-as-hell Jamie Pressley as a bad biker vixen (outside of production stills on websites).

Congratulations. You've given me yet another reason to never watch it.

Try watching it as a western, replacing the bikes with horses. The lone gunman who returns to his hometown, the bad guys' posse, the loudmouthed sheriff who turns out to be evil...

And then imagine the horses drank from some Liquid Ecstasy fountain and sped across the desert at 400MPH.

If you've read about it here and don't think you'll like it, you probably won't.

I went to rent this last night, but all they had was a fullscreen copy. They had a used WS copy for $6.99, but I just wanted to bone, I didn't wanna commit yet. I was very torn.

Should have gone for it. I paid more than that for my copy (okay, barely) and I have no regrets. I gather most of the threads were I waxed poetic about this movie are missing now, I haven't gone back to check, but I'll just say here that it's worth owning. The first time I saw it I was delirious with fever - the second time I realized that hadn't made any difference at all.

It's on TNT tonight at 10:30pm central time. Be there.

I just watched this in HD. I...I...I'm speechless. This movie may be too much for the human mind to handle. I need to sit down and just let Torque soak in for a while. Excuse me, be back later...

When you are Torqued, you're Torqued.

That's all I have to say.

Even the credits were shiny and went way over the speed limit.

All the women were hot, all the men were cool. It was like a 90min. beer commercial on coke and speed.

Thanks to the recommendations on this board I finally checked this out. I'm literally at a loss of words. This movie just fucked my brain.

I have to thank everyone at CHUD for recommending this film (is that a correct term? Feels more like a trip or something). I even used it as source material in my BA-thesis!

I thought the Y2K was a made up bike. Color me surprised it actually exists. Thinking more on this movie, it would be awesome in a triple feature with Mega Force and XxX: State of the Union. Of course that much awesomeness in such a short amount of time could be dangerous.

Going full throttle on dirt to get your bike on top of a fast moving train. Man, it's game over.

Hearing Nickelback's "Someday" close this film out as the bikers ride off was a joyous experience indeed.

Agreed. I saw it for the first time tonight due to it being brought up in another thread; truth be told, I really had no clue that it was such a popular movie on the entire board until then.

What a horrible illogical rancid piece of shit... and yet I can't say I hated it. It's totally preposterous. I mean, when the opening of the movie has a turtle in between two sports cars, waiting for a random red light in the middle of the desert to turn green, I knew this was going to be something else.

Let's see, there was...

* Right as we go in the diner, there's a closeup of a cat. A LOUD "MEOW!" is foley-ed in. That was nearly the biggest laugh for me the entire movie. "Subtlety" was not the rule in this film.

* "I know where sushi comes from, nigga!"

* Jaime Pressly looking rather nice in her getup, and I don't usually go for her or that look.

* The plot to have her be the witness to that murder (in a bathroom with a red lightbulb?) and blaming it on Ford was bad enough, but what left me dumbfounded was the reveal that they can use the bikechain to prove that Ford didn't do the murder. OK, what theory they used about all the bikechains being different and all that is fine, BUT, why did the movie think that only the person who rode that particular bike could use the bikechain? I mean, Ford could have taken it from another bike and used it! I honestly can't believe a major motion picture had that kind of logic gap in it, and I'm only being a little sarcastic here.

* But, I calmed down when I saw that forest of palm trees (?!) and I just shut my brain down and I laughed at all the preposterous shit the movie was serving up to me, such as the jump onto the moving train. I mean, really, a forest of PALM TREES?

* The final 20 minutes were stupefying, from the reveal of just why one of the two FBI agents was so fucking annoying (although, if it wasn't for all the characters but the ones played by Jaime Pressly and Ice Cube being so unlikeable, then I'd have enjoyed this even more) to the illogic behind that reveal, to all the stuff that lead to the Mountain Dew vs. Pepsi fight, the fight itself and how I couldn't believe one second of it, to...

* Our asshole hero Ford taking that Y2K bike, racing it at 200MPH (and shattering car windows just by driving by!) and then catching up to the nefarious villain; holy shit, the computer graphics there looked to be from a PS1 game... scratch that, Atari Jaguar may be more appropriate.

While I wished for characters that I didn't hate, overall it was SO laughable and amazing that Warner Brothers even released it, I can't give it a bad grade. Now I see why so many people here go ga-ga over it.

Did you feel a sudden urge to drink some Mountain Dew, Weapon? I sure did after watching this.

Nick wrote an incredible review of Torque for CHUD. It's lost (I think) due to the Server Change, but he describes the "Twisting Force" of this real well.

I like how in the finale Martin Henderson with the Y2K bike somersaulted and landed perfectly on Matt Schulze.

Yeah, I'll admit that I usually think way too much while watching a movie and I shouldn't be so analytical about this kind of flick.

But, I didn't mean to sound completely negative in tone there. That's just how I come across in general online, I've been told. I did enjoy laughing at how silly the plot was, all the dumb situations, and how the special effects looked more from 1994 rather than 2004. Still, I know I should have been at least buzzed, if not tanked, on alcohol while watching the film.

As silly as the somersault was in the finale, Monet Mauzer backflipping onto Jaime Pressly's bike, resulting in her landing on the bike and dropkicking Jaime into a tower of boxes at the same time (IIRC) was even better.

Thanks to Google Cache, the review has been found......

Nick's DVD review of Torque

Wow, thanks dynamotv. Chop-Kawasaki should be a genre.

I wonder if we'll be seeing Martin Henderson and his gang with Diesel in Brazil, when the next FURIOUS sequel starts.

I'd heard rumours that they both exist in the same universe anyway.

If there's some sort of crossover, that universe will surely die.

My mind wanders a lot when I watch this movie. When your film's soundtrack being 80% engine noises and generic techno-rock it can be hard not to grow numb to it all. Luckily, every time I think that I've had enough and want to turn it off, someone jumps onto the top of a train. Or Adam Scott comes on-screen. Or the last 15 minutes happen.

 

I'm a big booster of Crank and it's non-stop mayhem, but I have to admit that there's an art to something like Torque which, until the last 15 minutes, remains just grounded enough for the insanity to really pop. I just wish someone besides Adam Scott (and, to a lesser extent, Ice Cube) realized what movie they were in. Martin Henderson is so bland I can't keep my eyes on him.

 

Also, cars suck. No wonder all you guys who drive cars are douchebags.

Countdown to the 7th anniversary of Torque.

If I'm reading my chart right, 7th Anniversary is Bike Chains.

When Adam Scott was on Doug Loves Movies he explained that some of the cast were in on the joke, and the rest thought they were making 'The Fast and the Furious'. He said he'd watch some actors work out and flex right before they were due to shoot so they'd look better on screen. 

 

It's a glorious flick though, not just for Adam Scott and his giant key.