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Going to the Gym

post #1 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:18pm
Thread Starter 
I've been getting to the gym lately and I'm a bit proud of myself. What gym's do you all belong to, and what makes you want to go?
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post #2 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:20pm
I gave up the gym about a year ago. I ended up buying one of the higher end Bowflexes. I don't miss it except for some of the beautiful women there and using the heavy weights.
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post #3 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:21pm
Getting stronger and stronger so I can finally get your family to bleed when I rape them.
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post #4 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:23pm
Don't talk about going to the gym. Do it and like it, but talking about it is dumb.
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post #5 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:26pm
Oh and the ONLY reason for going.

To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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post #6 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:27pm
I go to an LA Fatness that's a block away from work on my lunch break, because I would like to achieve my lifelong goal of being able to power-clean a Buick, run down a herd of antelope and kill one with my teeth, and angrily fuck a tractor in half.

Also, I just recently peaked with a 1000-lb split between bench, squat, and deadlift and want to be part of the 1500 club by the time the year's out.

EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
Don't talk about going to the gym. Do it and like it, but talking about it is dumb.
Can this be a List of Dumb item? Maybe have DSV on a treadmill or something?
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post #7 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:29pm
What I want to know is what goods and/or services thefaint287 will be telling us about in the near future.
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post #8 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:29pm
And whom ever said Roid rage was bad, is a big fat liar!
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post #9 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott View Post
What I want to know is what goods and/or services thefaint287 will be telling us about in the near future.
I hope it's fast food. Please be fast food. Hopefully Schlotzky's Deli.

So hungry.
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post #10 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:47pm
My goal it to focus on working out one arm until I can beat Jake at arm wrestling. I figure I should be ready sometime in late 2020.
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post #11 of 1537
2/11/08 at 4:48pm

Clogging Heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
So hungry.
In the warrior's code, there's no surrender. Though his body says stop, his spirit cries NEVER!
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post #12 of 1537
2/11/08 at 5:04pm
The only good thing that ever came out of the word "gym":

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post #13 of 1537
2/11/08 at 5:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
The only good thing that ever came out of the word "gym":
Whomever Gymkata, pommel horse wins.
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post #14 of 1537
2/11/08 at 5:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
I go to an LA Fatness that's a block away from work on my lunch break, because I would like to achieve my lifelong goal of being able to power-clean a Buick....
Johnny Carson already beat you to it.
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post #15 of 1537
2/11/08 at 5:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tieman View Post
My goal it to focus on working out one arm until I can beat Jake at arm wrestling. I figure I should be ready sometime in late 2020.
It's offical, Tieman is aiming to become the Lincoln Hawk of the Chud Boards. Watch out when he turns that ballcap around!
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post #16 of 1537
2/11/08 at 5:28pm
Martin Savage wins. That's about as close to a gym as I've been in years (I'm not a fatass, I swear!)

Oh, and billy, as for the Conan quote I have to say: that's why I do everything. Yes, even when I read CHUD, I pathologically desire to hear the lamentations of your women. It's like a beautiful aria to me.
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post #17 of 1537
2/11/08 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
I go to an LA Fatness that's a block away from work on my lunch break, because I would like to achieve my lifelong goal of being able to power-clean a Buick, run down a herd of antelope and kill one with my teeth, and angrily fuck a tractor in half.
Judging from what we've seen of you, I'd peg this for about noon tomorrow PST. We should all start running for our lives now to get a head start.
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post #18 of 1537
2/11/08 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
I hope it's fast food. Please be fast food. Hopefully Schlotzky's Deli.
Where I live, they closed the Schlotzsky's Deli and converted it into a White Castle. Mmmmm, so good.
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post #19 of 1537
2/11/08 at 6:20pm
I don't go to the gym. I go to the yoga center. I'm very flexible.









Oh, go ahead. Make your stupid little jokes. I'll just be over here not falling down my front steps when I'm 70.
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post #20 of 1537
2/11/08 at 6:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I'll just be over here not falling down my front steps when I'm 70.
Well, at least the siren song of your hips won't be affected.
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post #21 of 1537
2/11/08 at 6:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
I go to an LA Fatness that's a block away from work on my lunch break, because I would like to achieve my lifelong goal of being able to power-clean a Buick, run down a herd of antelope and kill one with my teeth, and angrily fuck a tractor in half.
Is that like...all in a row? Like some fucking batshit crazy Iron Man competition? Cuz G4 needs to make that into a show. Ninja Warrior is just the first logical step in that process.

hehe Reminds me of a Mr. Show line...

"Have you ever eaten a train piece by piece AFTER you just derailed it with your penis?"
"Yes."
"Aah, man!"
"It was for charity!"
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post #22 of 1537
2/11/08 at 6:35pm
In the immortal words of Cal Naughton "cuzz I like to party"
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post #23 of 1537
2/11/08 at 10:08pm
Quote:
Don't talk about going to the gym. Do it and like it, but talking about it is dumb.
Sounds like someone can't benchpress their body weight.
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post #24 of 1537
2/11/08 at 11:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
Sounds like someone can't benchpress their body weight.
Well, it does take a He-Man to be a G-Man.

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post #25 of 1537
2/12/08 at 1:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I don't go to the gym. I go to the yoga center. I'm very flexible. Oh, go ahead. Make your stupid little jokes. I'll just be over here not falling down my front steps when I'm 70.
A woman doing yoga is cool and kinda sexy, so no jokes from us. Does DaveB go too? Because that's deserving of mockery.

I don't go to a gym because I'd rather lie on the floor and eat cupcakes, but I have a semi-serious question (for guys): Isn't the presence of hot hard-bodied women in skimpy exercise attire distracting? Isn't it uncomfortable trying to complete a set of squat thrusts with a raging erection?
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post #26 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
Isn't the presence of hot hard-bodied women in skimpy exercise attire distracting? Isn't it uncomfortable trying to complete a set of squat thrusts with a raging erection?
Yes. And I'm the most insular bastard out there when it comes to the gym. I put on something nice and calming like Slayer and go to town in the power rack. It was safe from the Curling Kids Club and sparsely populated - until some new girl recently arrived who actually does deadlifts and split squats.

Now I have to face firm Armenian bubble-ass in tight clothing while trying to squat or dead heavy, and I fucking hate it. Tunnel-Vision is ineffective when it comes to the shallowness of the manbrain.
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post #27 of 1537
2/12/08 at 7:08am
Distraction? What's that you say? It's the complete opposite for me, I go to the gym not only because I like being healthy but because I like really hot women. I'm shallow like that.
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post #28 of 1537
2/12/08 at 8:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by thefaint287 View Post
I've been getting to the gym lately and I'm a bit proud of myself.
Do you have asian balls?
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post #29 of 1537
2/12/08 at 1:26pm
I tried going to the gym once. It turned out that the one I chose was full of club bouncers, strippers and enforcers for the Russian mob. That mixture of apprehension and hotness was not pleasant and I quit about after two weeks. I moved to a much nicer neighborhood since but gyms still make me nervous.
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post #30 of 1537
2/12/08 at 1:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
Sounds like someone can't benchpress their body weight.
I know I'm one of those people.
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post #31 of 1537
2/12/08 at 2:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
Sounds like someone can't benchpress their body weight.
Guns! The great equalizer.
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post #32 of 1537
2/12/08 at 2:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
A woman doing yoga is cool and kinda sexy, so no jokes from us. Does DaveB go too? Because that's deserving of mockery.
I've asked this question before, but - could someone please explain the male antipathy to yoga to me? It requires a considerable amount of strength, insane flexibility, and concentration to do it well. It's not like we're all sitting around on pillows, thinking nice thoughts about flowers for an hour and a half. The only thing that's girly about yoga is the makeup of the classes, as very few men seem to want to come.
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post #33 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I've asked this question before, but - could someone please explain the male antipathy to yoga to me? It requires a considerable amount of strength, insane flexibility, and concentration to do it well. It's not like we're all sitting around on pillows, thinking nice thoughts about flowers for an hour and a half. The only thing that's girly about yoga is the makeup of the classes, as very few men seem to want to come.
I know guys who can bench twice their own bodyweight who do yoga. It's a great exercise - I'm thinking about working it in at some point, since static stretching and foam-rolling only does so much for flexibility. I've never understood the antipathy either: it's not like jazzercise or aerobics, not gimmicky like Tae-Bo, and it's actually pretty fucking hard.
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post #34 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:09pm
Seriously, people, get your ass to the gym. You never know what wonders you may see.
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post #35 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I've asked this question before, but - could someone please explain the male antipathy to yoga to me? It requires a considerable amount of strength, insane flexibility, and concentration to do it well. It's not like we're all sitting around on pillows, thinking nice thoughts about flowers for an hour and a half. The only thing that's girly about yoga is the makeup of the classes, as very few men seem to want to come.
I was among those laughing at yoga, until my wife took me along for a class. As someone who practiced martial arts and sparred for 8 years, I considered myself pretty fit. I came out of that class drenched and sored. It really makes your body work in a very different way than any gym work, and while closer to martial arts, it's still not close. If I had the time/money (yoga classes ain't cheap), I would have supplemented my kungfu training with yoga.

And beside, yoga is great for fighting.

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post #36 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
it's not like jazzercise or aerobics, not gimmicky like Tae-Bo, and it's actually pretty fucking hard.
Thank you. I wasn't standing on my shoulders this weekend, trying to keep the soles of my feet pressed together and my back straight at the same time, thinking "whew! I'm glad they came up with this nice, easy exercise system for girls, so we don't have to fool around with those silly weights." Really, it was more along the lines of "When is this eternally smiling, sadistic hippie going to let us lie down?"
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post #37 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Really, it was more along the lines of "When is this eternally smiling, sadistic hippie going to let us lie down?"
Aah! There's your answer. I know I fly into a blind rage when I enter within twenty yards of a hippie. I black out and...oh god, the horror...

Actually, yoga always looked interesting (and terribly painful), just...never got the time. Why guys don't do it when you have all of those ridiculous cute girls in there is beyond me.
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post #38 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:22pm
He's a very nice hippie. He just has a maddening tendency to say things like "Okay, while keeping your hips squared, lower your nose to your knee. If you can reach, go to your shin" while grinning like he just asked us to clap our hands. I have another teacher who likes to introduce new, extremely difficult poses by saying "Okay, now we're going to so something really fun..." She also smiles a lot.
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post #39 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:28pm
Know who else smiled a lot? Hitler. Coincidence? I think not.
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post #40 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Actually, yoga always looked interesting (and terribly painful), just...never got the time. Why guys don't do it when you have all of those ridiculous cute girls in there is beyond me.
Cause you look kinda silly with a raging hard-on?
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post #41 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:39pm
Well, as stated in another thread, I doubt we'd be able to finish class as the mere presence of said raging hard on would drive them all into a frenzy!
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post #42 of 1537
2/12/08 at 3:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Cause you look kinda silly with a raging hard-on?
Clearly you've never seen the "Ivory Tower" yoga position.
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post #43 of 1537
2/12/08 at 4:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Guns! The great equalizer.
Don't forget bats and clubs, either.
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post #44 of 1537
2/12/08 at 5:05pm
Zooey, I love yoga. The best yoga tape in the world, back in the 80s when every celebrity you can think of put out a workout video, was this yoga tape that Raquel Welch did - the outfits are hilarious (we're talking leg warmers, "Let's Get Physical" headbands, shoulder pads in her leotards, and dangle earrings), but believe it or not, she does a really great workout. I lost seven pounds on that sucker. And no, not from laughter.
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post #45 of 1537
2/12/08 at 5:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Clearly you've never seen the "Ivory Tower" yoga position.
Is that similar to the cock push-ups that Jack Black did?
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post #46 of 1537
2/12/08 at 5:25pm
What's the story on steam yoga? Yay? Nay?
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post #47 of 1537
2/12/08 at 5:49pm
I've never done it (I go to an Iyengar studio). My sister did, though, while she was living in Australia and she said that it was really intense but very satisfying when she was done.
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post #48 of 1537
2/12/08 at 5:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott View Post
What's the story on steam yoga? Yay? Nay?
You get extremely thirsty afterwards. Yes, someone I know did this and that is what he said about it.
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post #49 of 1537
2/12/08 at 7:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron View Post
Seriously, people, get your ass to the gym. You never know what wonders you may see.
He's wearing baby clothes, I think. Get that lil' dude a onesie (and I'm not talking about the JCVD unitard kind either)!
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post #50 of 1537
2/12/08 at 10:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
A woman doing yoga is cool and kinda sexy, so no jokes from us. Does DaveB go too? Because that's deserving of mockery.
For the record, I do. Lost about 10-15 pounds since I started this summer, actually, and am certainly way more flexible. I figure I'll stick with it until graceful, calming self-fellatio is achieved.
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