Zombie-Proofing Your House

Well, unless you can magically teleport food and water into your 11th floor apartment, I'd say you better be getting ready to do some traveling.

You're telling me Pizza Hutt won't be delivering during the zombie apocalypse?

Well, once society collapses and most of the people are all dead and zombies, and several months have passed, then you would have a better chance to move about and collect food and water. Ideally at this stage the zombie hordes will be weakend by lack of food and the will have scattered because of a lack of targets to gather on. Best bet is to have around three months worth of food and water going into the apocalypse, more if possible. A portable propane running generator would be a must. I think the biggest trick is to barricade yourself properly and not draw attention.

It looks like you'd be spending around 500 on a properly sized generator, and I suppose whatever amount of diesel or propane would be needed.

When the power eventually goes down, I bet you get real tired of lugging stale groceries up all those flights of stairs to your 11th floor sanctuary. Not to mention that you still have to deal with the zombie horde through most of that shopping trip.

I'd seriously get out of a major city as fast as possible. I'd probably want to find the countryside estate of someone exceptionally wealthy, as they probably have lots of supplies, weapons and security. The problem is, they could still very well be alive in there and view you as one of "them." Careful.

Indeed. Temporary though. Just to celebrate Crystalskullapalooza 2008.

Nah, Dawn of the Dead has the right idea: I'm off to the mall. I could live off of giant cookies and hot dogs on sticks for years...

Plus most malls, so far as I'm aware, have limited and obvious access points that can be barricaded.

Plus, Barry Manilow on the elevator music. "Hey... I like this song."

Is Pizza Hutt Jabba's more amiable younger brother?

One big problem w/ being walled up on the 11th floor, as I see it, is you'd be trapped if the zombies do, worst case scenario, break in. You can't just jump out the window. And I don't think fire escapes can legally go up that high, can they? Apartments being as small as they are, hoarding sufficient supplies would also be a problem, most likely.

If one more person talks about zombie proofing their house, or how well they'd fare in a zombie apocalypse or what weapon would be best against a horde of zombies or how zombies can or cannot actually run, I am going to fucking shit.

Seriously, enough.

Malls will be populated with idiots.


Get an "insider" at Home Depot to start stockpiling food for you somewhere inside. Escape to there. You'll have enough building materials, food plants, and sharp weapons to be good for a few weeks. Possibly months.

And they also sell Snickers bars.

Well, it looks like Patrick just shat.

Should we start a "Frankenstein-proofing your house" thread so Ripoll will have some variety in his life?

When the power goes out, you're golden. These suckers can be eaten hot OR cold. They even come with a pop-tab lid.

I don't know, maybe Blackula proofing is the way to go.

You know my take on the zombie apocalypse is this, there's such an saturation of zombie stories and the lore, if zombies did actually happen people would act fast identifying the problem and quickly kill them off, and we'd laugh and laugh.

Or we'd all be killed cause we've been turned into mindless idiots who just stay at home and don't do anything to fix the streets, which would suck for the pizza men and woman.

And the mailman, cause amazon.com would probably be cleaning up

EDIT: Short answer: Katana.

You should clarify: Full Tang Katana.


You don't want to see your swap meet bought one flying in the opposite direction you're aiming at mid-swing.


My goal's to keep Patrick on a regular schedule with his shitting.

In case of a virus epidemic, leave, as fast as possible. You may survive the zombies, but not the strict military forces that follow to clean.

And like that, you've given away my screenplay's biggest part.
Thank you.

Who in his right mind would stay near a city in the case of Zombie Apocalypse?! Zombies can't drive, are too dumb too carry food in shopping bags and need to eat, right? So you drive somewhere that's so far from civilisation that no zombie could possibly walk there and survive. Once there, you grow your own food.

You're operating under the assumption that zombies actually need to digest the flesh that they consume in order to survive

What if I kept all the white woman away?

I moved into the apartment where i am specifficaly incase of a zombie outbreak. Its a 3rd floor apartmant with a wooden staircase outside. If i destroy the bottom level of the staircase it will stop them from getting in and give me access to the other apartments. Ill fill every available bathtub/sink for drinking water and loot what i can. And if supplys get low, with a little bit of work i could pretty much get to every aparment in my strip by climbing across all the decks in the back.

So yeah, maybe ive thought about this alittle bit too much.........

ZombieFever's got the idea!

I've got a similar plan, depending on level of outbreak and type of zombie (slow, fast, super human) I see myself immediatly hitting the gun store then baracading myself in for about 24-36 hours. At that point, all the stupid people will have been killed off \ turned into zombies and the initial panic will have settled down, get a raiding party. Hit the home depot \ lowes for generators, tools etc... convoy down to a port and sail to the Azores. If they can walk in water, I'd like to see them climb out of the trenches between here and there (or you know, Europe and there)

Oh and for the record, Walmart is probably your best bet for holding up if you don't have a good place, limited glass entrance (easily closed up with a semi) and it has food, electronics, guns and camping equipment and there are a bazillion of them so if it looks like someone hostile has taken one up, move on.

Oh and if that someone hostile who took over the walmart is a douche and starts shooting at you... try and find something to lure zombies to their walmart (jury rig a car to honk a lot after you leave or bring a boombox, tape record "Fresh brains, come and get em!" and hit play).

Still shitting. Knock it off.

Maybe you should try eating some fiber.

Bran/fiber loosen you up, he needs to chow down some cheese to lock it down some.

And he should stay away from the alcohol, that just makes it worse.

This leads us to an important zombie question: if a zombie devours the brain of some pour sap who happens to be piss drunk, does the zombie get hammered? And furthermore, is a zombie that is hammered a) the funniest thing sorta-alive, or b) indistinguishable from all other zombies?

I assume it has no affect on them.

But I imagine they burn up much nicer.