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Peculiar Sexual Quirks.

post #1 of 90
Thread Starter 
Everyone's got 'em!

Mine's throwing in a dip while I masturbate.

Anyone care to share theirs?
post #2 of 90
Reading your posts.
post #3 of 90
I laugh a lot when i cum. Can't control it, just start smiling and laughing for a while. Specially if the girls keeps going down on me. I'll go all Joker on her.
post #4 of 90
Btw, best add ever?
post #5 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by GET AIDS NOW! View Post

Mine's throwing in a dip while I masturbate.
You mean like French Onion?
post #6 of 90
I used to 'collect' oral sex before I got married. I got as many women to go down on me as I could (to the virtual exclusion of all else), regardless of who I was going out with. I don't know if that qualifies as a quirk or not, but I suspect that many men share that quirk. I was always amazed at how willing some women were to oblige...God bless 'em.
post #7 of 90
I like simple pleasures. I like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something I enjoy.
post #8 of 90
Younger, I liked sex just like the Serbs did back in the early 90's. I offered the lady the basic pleasures and did what needed to be done. Then I would dress up like a Spice Girl, doused my lady in gasoline, while yelling on the top of my lungs Danzig's "Woman", and then threaten her to lighten her mood.

But then I got married and things got worse.
post #9 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
But then I got married and things got worse.
Go on...
post #10 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
I was always amazed at how willing some women were to oblige...
That's because sucking cock is LOTS of fun, try it sometime.
post #11 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Younger, I liked sex just like the Serbs did back in the early 90's. I offered the lady the basic pleasures and did what needed to be done. Then I would dress up like a Spice Girl, doused my lady in gasoline, while yelling on the top of my lungs Danzig's "Woman", and then threaten her to lighten her mood.
Damn. If only you were into screaming the theme song from "The Facts of Life" at the top of your lungs, we could have had something there.
post #12 of 90
Would the theme song from Happy Days suffice?
post #13 of 90
Even hotter.
post #14 of 90
I'll dress up like Ralph Malph and you got yourself a deal.
post #15 of 90
I'm a "scalie", a lot like a "furrie", except, you know...with reptiles. Being my particular type of "scalie" requires certain skill sets, previously known only to Tibetan Buddhist monks. It took years of anal exercises to achieve maximum elasticity, a wide variety of personal lubricants (finally settling on 'Wet Platinum'), and many, many cartons of eggs to master the fine art of emulating reptile birth.
post #16 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
I'm a "scalie", a lot like a "furrie", except, you know...with reptiles. Being my particular type of "scalie" requires certain skill sets, previously known only to Tibetan Buddhist monks. It took years of anal exercises to achieve maximum elasticity, a wide variety of personal lubricants (finally settling on 'Wet Platinum'), and many, many cartons of eggs to master the fine art of emulating reptile birth.
My reaction to said post can be summed up by these two men:

post #17 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
I'll dress up like Ralph Malph and you got yourself a deal.
How about Potsie, please? I don't think I can bear hearing you screaming, "I've still got it!" during the moment of climax.
post #18 of 90
Four feet of ragged extension cord, a dirty basement with a single bare bulb flickering overhead, a rusty old gynecologist's stirrup chair, a box cutter, and a gallon of crude oil.
post #19 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Four feet of ragged extension cord, a dirty basement with a single bare bulb flickering overhead, a rusty old gynecologist's stirrup chair, a box cutter, and a gallon of crude oil.
We're talking about sexual quirks, not how you workout.
post #20 of 90
post #21 of 90
Johnny wins. Virtual rep sent.
post #22 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by GET AIDS NOW! View Post
Anyone care to share theirs?
I really, really get off telling total strangers on the internet about the less socially acceptable aspects of my sex life. I'm probably masturbating while I do it. Additionally, I find it particularly pleasurable if I can come up with a series of repulsive and somewhat confusing euphemisms for the activities I engage in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GET AIDS NOW!
I consider myself to be a straight guy, but I have this thing for trannys.

When I was a teenager, it all started with those phone sex ads that would be in the back of HUSTLER. I saw one for a tranny sexline, and I was amazed how convincing--or so I thought--this one tranny looked. She had some amazing tits, great curves, and a supple ass. Not to mention a womb ferret that was pretty prominent. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Eventually, I got bored looking at her, and the rest of the tranny ads didn't do anything for me. I got to dive in my straight fantasies of Jenna and her friends.

I shook that infatuation out, and didn't think anything about that picture until years later when I was U.S. Sailor stationed in San Diego. A buddy and I went across the border to Tijuana to have a good time. We barhopped along, and went to various strip clubs. We stopped in one called Bambi's because the guy in front of the bar who invited everyone to come in with no cover charge reminded us of Cheech Marin's performance in FROM DUSK TIL DAWN.

My buddy and I had a couple of Tecates, and these two women sat in our laps. Mine was absolutely gorgeous, and I didn't hesitate to pay for some sex.

We went upstairs into this dark room that has these fuck boothes along the walls. We got into one, and she took off my clothes. I started to feel all over her body, and there was a discrepency in her crotch area. I felt a bulge...

...to sum this encounter up: I played The Crying Game, and consider myself victorious.

I realize this might a creepy thread, but I honestly want to start a serious dialouge about this. Should I be considered bi-sexual because of this? Its weird because I don't find guys sexually attractive at all. I mean, if a tranny is obvious I'm not interested, but if she has the right feminine qualities...I'll buckle. No one in my life knows about this. Not even the buddy who I went to Tijuana with(he just chilled in the bar). So I can't really talk to anyone about it because its strange.

Any thoughts from fellow chewers about this?
post #23 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by GET AIDS NOW! View Post
Mine's throwing in a dip while I masturbate.
Fine, I'll ask. WTF does that even mean?
post #24 of 90
Oh, God. Now he's going to explain it. Are you enjoying being a part of his psychosexual acting out?
post #25 of 90
There's a peverse, morbid desire to being a part of it, yes, I'll admit. Damn this curiosity of mine!
post #26 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I really, really get off telling total strangers on the internet about the less socially acceptable aspects of my sex life.
I know, seriously. He had to know there was going to be nothing but joke responses. Either that or Martin is a really "unique" kind of guy, if ya know what I mean, and I think ya do...
post #27 of 90
Quote:
We stopped in one called Bambi's because the guy in front of the bar who invited everyone to come in with no cover charge reminded us of Cheech Marin's performance in FROM DUSK TIL DAWN.
From Dicks Til Dawn?
post #28 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Either that or Martin is a really "unique" kind of guy, if ya know what I mean, and I think ya do...
Hey, once you get past the 3rd degree burns, any women is hot. Any.
post #29 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Hey, once you get past the 3rd degree burns, any women is hot. Any.
I just sprayed hot tea all over my keyboard. This is neither internet hyperbole or GET AIDS NOW-esque code for something.

repreprepreprep
post #30 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Of the many horrors to be found in the thread, I find this gif most disturbing of all. Clearly, it's something Trek related. Other than that, however, what the hell is going on there?
post #31 of 90
To be honest, I have no clue. The first part is Trek. That's clear.

As for the 70s guy? That's based on something I've seen before as a standalone but I have no clue where it's from.
post #32 of 90
Just gonna say it, cos I don't know if I'm behind the curve on this one:

GETAIDSNOW = fabfunk?
post #33 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I just sprayed hot tea all over my keyboard. This is neither internet hyperbole or GET AIDS NOW-esque code for something.

repreprepreprep

I just sprayed.


FAP FAP FAP
post #34 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
To be honest, I have no clue. The first part is Trek. That's clear.

As for the 70s guy? That's based on something I've seen before as a standalone but I have no clue where it's from.
Presumably the DTV adaptation of Agatha Christie's "The Pale Hippie".
post #35 of 90
I used to masturbate watching Alias but since Jen is married with Ben I watch LOST.
post #36 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
To be honest, I have no clue. The first part is Trek. That's clear.

As for the 70s guy? That's based on something I've seen before as a standalone but I have no clue where it's from.

He's from the youtube video Italian Spiderman.

Italian Spiderman
post #37 of 90
My particularly odd sexual quirk: I like to make love with one specific woman, please her first, and then cuddle afterward talking and laughing until we're ready for more.
post #38 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
My particularly odd sexual quirk: I like to make love with one specific woman, please her first, and then cuddle afterward talking and laughing until we're ready for more.
I did the same and she hated that. Love her face while she was enjoying that.
post #39 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
My particularly odd sexual quirk: I like to make love with one specific woman, please her first, and then cuddle afterward talking and laughing until we're ready for more.
You fucking freak.
post #40 of 90
I like acting like I fell asleep during pillow talk so she'll shut her fucking mouth.
post #41 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
My particularly odd sexual quirk: I like to make love with one specific woman, please her first, and then cuddle afterward talking and laughing until we're ready for more.
Damn. We have some sick motherfuckers on this board.
post #42 of 90
In my defense, she usually can't get out more than a few words before I strap her again to the donkey.
post #43 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
My particularly odd sexual quirk: I like to make love with one specific woman, please her first, and then cuddle afterward talking and laughing until we're ready for more.
Man, that is some dark twisted shit. Where do you even find that on the internet?
post #44 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
I was always amazed at how willing some women were to oblige...God bless 'em.
Where might such women be found?
post #45 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
My particularly odd sexual quirk: I like to make love with one specific woman, please her first, and then cuddle afterward talking and laughing until we're ready for more.
You sick son of a bitch, pray you never come near the schools or I'll take you down.
post #46 of 90
I sob uncontrolably after sex. It's even worse if I had a partner.
post #47 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by McIrish View Post
I sob uncontrolably after sex. It's even worse if I had a partner.
Sometimes when a loved one passes away, it's hard to let them go. At least until you've had one, or several, more rides.
post #48 of 90
It's a terrible habit, but I always ask the girl 'Yellow or checkered?' immediately following sex.

Always. No matter what or who. That gets kind of awkward with the missus.
post #49 of 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Fine, I'll ask. WTF does that even mean?
I'm not 100% positive, but I've heard chewing tobacco referred to as "dip" before, so I presume he means he likes to chaw a plug of Skoal or Kodiak or Copenhagen whilst pleasuring himself.

At least, that's what I pray to God he meant.
post #50 of 90
Thread Starter 
Quote:
I'm not 100% positive, but I've heard chewing tobacco referred to as "dip" before, so I presume he means he likes to chaw a plug of Skoal or Kodiak or Copenhagen whilst pleasuring himself.

At least, that's what I pray to God he meant.
Correct!
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