Who Wouldn't Be Excited About More Board Game Adaptations?

Maybe they should turn Monopoly into There Will Be Blood type story, I'd see that.

April 1st is a ways away.

I DRAINED MARVIN GARDENS, TOP HAT! DRAINED IT DRY! seriously.

I'd bet cold hard cash that Magic TG is definitely one of the brands being picked up for a movie, what with the high-note (at least, there are still dollar signs in the eyes of hollywood) the Fantasy genre is riding thanks to LOTR

I mean.. if Uwe Boll could ride that wave, anyone can.

Some of the storylines in Magic are fun, nothing high minded and ultimately original, but I definitely thought some of the books (yes! they have tons of em) could make a decent movie. And will admit to adapting one of the larger story arcs (some might even say 'the' story arc) into a script at one point in my youth...

Hell, I'm surprised no one's made a Ouija horror/ghost movie yet.

So are these going to be animated or does it matter? I'm figuring it would be cheaper to make animated films and hire common voice over talent to shove out quick cash titles.

The Exorcist?

God, Please don't start making me remember the storylines to Magic: the Gathering. Too late its all coming back...

Yeah, i think theres been a few, minus the brand name Ouija.

It's been done before. Witchboard comes to mind.

Jesus, people.

Water Works, Thimble. Water Works.

I'm really curious if they'll have money under free parking in the film.
Because from what I hear, it's not officially a rule.

Also, is it too late to have Sidney Lumet direct Monopoly as a legal thriller?

Based on his previous films, Gus Van Sant would pretty much shoot a movie that consisted of people playing Monopoly and nothing else.

Peter Jackson, Alex Cox, Richard Stanley, Guillermo Del Toro, Jim Jarmusch and Alejandro Jodorowsky could be involved, and I still will never say, "One for 'Magic The Gathering- The Movie' please".

I imagine you'd feel very filthy if Larry Clark directed Candy Land....just saying.

It's not unofficially a rule either. If you play Monopoly with a Free Parking Prize, you should have your board game privileges taken away.

So who are they getting to play the ratty old boot?

Oh, I know "cursed magic board" has been done to death... I just meant that I'm surprised no one thought to out and out call it Ouija: The Movie just to capitalize on the fame (or infamy, however you wanna view it).

Brian Posehn: "I'm so angry at Lucas over Episodes I and II that I'll probably skip III altogether..."

Heckled: "Yeah, right!"

Brian Posehn: "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?!?! YOU DON'T KNOW ME MAN! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!! ............yeah, you're right, I'll probably still see it anyways."

*Sexist joke coming*

*Sexist joke coming*

*Sexist joke coming*

I hope Scarlet Johanssen plays the thimble, so I can imagine putting my thumb in her.

I am so goddamn sorry, but the joke was in my head and I had to get it out.

So now that boardgames are fair game for adaptations. What next?

Dreamworks Animation presents... Tony the Tiger.

I want to know if there is anyone who would greenlight the ultimate boardgame film...Battleship...directed by Michael Bay?

It's sometime in the future... The ultimate challenge...

I can see the pitch now: "It's Bloodsport meets The Running Man meets Hungry Hungry Hippos."

scary, Fleed for once one of your hair brained ideas is perfect, although the new Verizon commercial could of been an influence.

How about a Connect 4 movie with DeNiro and Pacino playing each other for 2 hours?

or a Twister movie with Alba, Connely, Johansen, etc, etc

Hey, if Pirates of the Caribbean worked....

As far as I know, board games adaptations are 1 for 1 at making entertaining movies. Not like it'd be impossible to make another.

Urza and Mishra, man, Urza and Mishra. Just let it do the heavy lifting for you. That's it, just relax, take a stress pill.

That could be a good movie. Every Monopoly game ends with cursing and hurt feelings. It would be interesting to see why that happens.

The Phyrexians would make some good film villains, IMO.

Bingo! The great wizard battle that destroyed the lands.

I'd like to see them try to adapt Scene It?

Paul Greengrass for Guess Who?.

Fuck people that do this.
And how!

ETA - People that play with a tax prize on Free Parking are the same people that don't realize that property goes up for auction if you don't opt to buy it.

Tommy Lee Jones

I remember hearing of a Strech Armstrong movie with Danny Devito. Guess it's still burning in development hell.

The Magic storylines are all, as I recall, exceptionally awful.

In my set there's a bowling ball.

Sharpe1007, Hair brained? That saying as an insult belongs with swell as a compliment...in the 1950's.

My Idea of Battleship as directed by Michael Bay was not influenced by any commercial.

Possible director pairings.

Jim Sheridan's Lucky Charms.
Terry Gilliam's Trix the Rabbit
Michael Mann's Cookie Crisp
Ridley Scott's Cap N'Crunch
Dario Argento's Count Chocoula
Eli Roth's Boo Berry

and finally

Quentin Tarentino's Smacks.

Hopefully that's because any writer who sits down to write one immediately gets smacked upside the head by an invisible force.

"In the cutthroat world of New Jersey real estate, the stakes are high."

Cut to shots of dollar bills and deeds passing hands, a Scottish terrier barking, an old lady in a rocking chair knitting a sweater with a thimble, a top hat being blown down the street by the wind.

A group of businessmen are sitting around a meeting room table. Christopher Walken: "Last week's acquisition...of Park Place...has put us over the top. Gentlemen...Atlantic City is...now ours." Much privileged laughter and cork-popping ensues.

Pan over a row of houses and an electric company.

"Sometimes when you roll the dice, you go to jail..."

A bloodied man in an alleyway is being sodomized by cops with nightsticks. The camera focuses in on the overdue mortgage notice he's clutching.

"Sometimes, you get a new chance at life..."

A CGI hotel is rolling down a hill at some dude, who narrowly ducks under it in slow motion as it passes overhead.

"Now, one man is bringing his own set of rules to the game."

Cut to a train pulling into a station. A lone man in a dark suit with coattails and bow tie steps off. A trio of mobsters waiting for him approach. One gets a broken neck for his trouble, another gets his nose shoved into his skull with one of those moneybags that has those dollar signs on it. The last gets a few bullets pumped into his legs. As he tries to crawl away, he looks up in terror at the man standing over him, "W-who are you?!" A stray gust of wind brings the top hat to rest nearby. Jason Statham picks it up, dusts it off, and adjusts his monocle slightly before putting the hat on. "The name is Monopoly. Mr. Monopoly." Then he cracks the poor fucker's head open with his cane.

Summer 2009
Do not pass go.
Do not collect $200.

I'm imagining Ridley taking this entirely serious. Making it an epic period piece with detailed art direction, and it's hilarious.

Considering Tony The Tiger was designed by one of America's greatest children Illustrators, I would like to see Brad Bird tackle the story. Pixar artist Lou Romano has already contributed to arts how to try and get Tony back to his routes so I am not far off base.

I am so fucking there.

You said it, Doc.

Holy shit, that was intense.

No, no, no. Peter Weir's Cap N'Crunch!

As has been stated in the article, Scott will die before this comes to pass. It's probably like those people who are on their deathbed and tell a joke nobody's ever heard before... only to die before delivering the punchline.

Except in this case, the punchline is that people here would pay to see it.