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Mission to Mars

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I like this film.

Gross scientific inaccuracies and cheesy dialog aside, I dug it.

Why was it so hated over the years?
post #2 of 25
Because it sucks?

Oh, you want specifics?

Because it has a fuel supply display that reads "EMPTY", "HALF", and "POINT OF NO RETURN".

Because it features the most hilariously pointless heroic sacrifice ever as Tim Robbins burns up in the atmosphere trying to reach his wife -- who promptly gets picked up by the ship seconds later.

Because the finale is a goofy light show your local planetarium would be embarassed to show.

Because the supposedly close friendship of Cheadle and Sinise ends with nothing more than "So long buddy" as Sinise flies off into the face of fucking infinity.

Because Cheadle somehow manages to teraform a portion of Mars by basically leaving his greenhouse door open.

BECAUSE IT SUCKS.
post #3 of 25
Because it's an exposé on how not to make a space movie.
post #4 of 25
It even made Ennio Morricone sound retarded.
post #5 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Because it sucks?

Oh, you want specifics?

Because it has a fuel supply display that reads "EMPTY", "HALF", and "POINT OF NO RETURN".

Because it features the most hilariously pointless heroic sacrifice ever as Tim Robbins burns up in the atmosphere trying to reach his wife -- who promptly gets picked up by the ship seconds later.

Because the finale is a goofy light show your local planetarium would be embarassed to show.

Because the supposedly close friendship of Cheadle and Sinise ends with nothing more than "So long buddy" as Sinise flies off into the face of fucking infinity.

Because Cheadle somehow manages to teraform a portion of Mars by basically leaving his greenhouse door open.

BECAUSE IT SUCKS.
Good answer. I particularly love the Robbins death.

Total Recall = best nonsensical Mars movie.
post #6 of 25
Because the alien cried?
post #7 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarant View Post
It even made Ennio Morricone sound retarded.
I'll agree with this one. I'll bet footage of this flick didn't play during his Oscar salute. It's just weird score that sticks out like a sore thumb.

This movie is such an odd failure.
post #8 of 25
Because it contains the most obnoxious instance of product placement ever?
post #9 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Because Cheadle somehow manages to teraform a portion of Mars by basically leaving his greenhouse door open.
I haven't seen the movie since it came out, and yet there are still moments -- like just last week, for instance -- when I remember this part of it and marvel at how fucking insanely stupid it is. All hyperbole aside, it's probably the single dumbest thing I've seen in a movie.
post #10 of 25
I was too distracted by Sinise's eyeliner to notice how stupid the movie was, or what the plot was, or if anything other than his heavenly eyes and immaculately tweezed eyebrows were onscreen.
post #11 of 25
post #12 of 25
Thread Starter 
Oh, something about the Morricone score:

I'm under the belief that he didn't really compose NEW score, he just gave them shit he already had.

Because I swear I heard that same score in Legend of 1900.
post #13 of 25
I've never seen this, so I have to ask; is it at least bad in a hilariously entertaining way, or is it just plain ol' variety bad?
post #14 of 25
It falls short of being hilarious. That's how truly bad it is. Only worth watching as a curiousity piece since it's directed by DePalma.
post #15 of 25
I liked the ride more, and the ride sucked!
post #16 of 25
I vaguely remember being stoned out of my gourd on incredibly good weed while watching this many years ago and STILL thinking it was shithouse.

Now THATS a bad film....
post #17 of 25
I also love that the aliens leave behind an intelligence test intended to assist in first contact with other species, and it's apparently designed to destroy you if you fail the test. Yeah, they sound like people I'd really like to run off with at the end of the movie.

Also, the early foreshadowing couldn't have been more embarrassing if they'd scored it with "Dum Dum DUUUUMMMM!" after every line. The script is just terrified that we're going to miss a hint.
post #18 of 25
Not that I can't speed-check it on the ISDb, but wasn't this written by the dynamic duo of (Predator, Executive Decision) Jim & John Thomas? If so, why did it all end up so badly with DePalma at the helm? And why indeed is the Morricone score probably the most fascinatingly grating trainwreck in my CD library?

Ohhh, 2000 wasn't exactly kind to Mars movies. To say that Red Planet was the (marginally) better movie should never be considered a compliment whatsoever.
post #19 of 25
A question about the score, because I haven't seen this since it was in theaters:

Is this the score that sounds like church organs farting?

Also, I vaguelly remember a vortex dismembering an astronaut which was hilarious, and the worst looking alien since Mac and Me.

Yeah this movie sucks.
post #20 of 25
I also seem to remember a Van Halen dance sequence in zero g. Is that right?
post #21 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
I also seem to remember a Van Halen dance sequence in zero g. Is that right?
Yes, they butchered Dance the Night Away.
post #22 of 25
I don't remember ANYTHING happening in that movie that was worthwhile except for Robbin's death. Red Planet ended up being more entertaining, if not mediocre compared to Mission to Mars
post #23 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnotaur3 View Post
I don't remember ANYTHING happening in that movie that was worthwhile except for Robbin's death. Red Planet ended up being more entertaining, if not mediocre compared to Mission to Mars

Bold statement: Ghosts of Mars is "better" than both of them.
post #24 of 25
Ghosts of Mars isn't better than anything, including spousal abuse and international organ trafficking.
post #25 of 25
Diana Ross's best work as the Alien made me cry.
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