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I Just Sneezed with My Mouth Full

post #1 of 42
3/5/08 at 4:02am
Thread Starter 
Ugly. The blast radius is quite impressive. I'll be dabbing up bits of pepperoni pizza for days.
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post #2 of 42
3/5/08 at 4:05am
I hate it when food goes up my nasal passage.
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post #3 of 42
3/5/08 at 4:37am
Holy shit. The same thing - pepperoni pizza included, no bullshit - happened to me three weeks ago, except I was vomiting and spewing all sorts of mucus at the time (the flu). 30-40 minutes later I happened upon a pepperoni nose goblin, then I threw up again.
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post #4 of 42
3/5/08 at 1:55pm
Belching thru the nose is the worst.
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post #5 of 42
3/5/08 at 1:59pm
The full mouth sneezes are always devastating. For future reference, you can minimize the blast radius by holding a napkin directly in front of your mouth, but, be advised: the blowback is terrible.
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post #6 of 42
3/5/08 at 1:59pm
This reminds me of the funniest thing I ever saw on TV. It was the Mythbusters episode where they experimented with sneezing with your eyes open. They were attempting to see if the eyes bulged out of their sockets if you sneezed and didn't close your eyelids.

Edit: heres the clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ho8YV1_Qs4
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post #7 of 42
3/5/08 at 2:01pm
Well.....DID THEY?
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post #8 of 42
3/5/08 at 2:01pm
what were the results? Well come on man, don't hold in us suspense. Out with it.
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post #9 of 42
3/5/08 at 2:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
what were the results? Well come on man, don't hold in us suspense. Out with it.
No eye popping!
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post #10 of 42
3/5/08 at 2:06pm
Figures.
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post #11 of 42
3/5/08 at 2:19pm
Is this on the same level as the sideway piss? The sideway piss always leaves me feeling worse than the full mouth sneeze.
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post #12 of 42
3/5/08 at 2:31pm
Try sneezing while eating Mini Wheats cereal. Went through my nose. Painful as fuck. I was blowing pieces out of my nose for the rest of the day.
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post #13 of 42
3/5/08 at 3:23pm
I coughed a "cookie crisp" across the room last night. I had to grab it before my son ate it.
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post #14 of 42
3/5/08 at 4:11pm
I had an unfortunate sneeze with a mouthful of Saltines when I was a kid, and ever since either sneeze with my teeth clenched or my lips pursed, just in case. I get funny stares because it makes my sneeze sound unnatural, but it's certainly better than having to pick moist, mucusy crumbs off everything in sight.
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post #15 of 42
3/5/08 at 4:20pm
I don't know if that sneezing thing is really true for everyone. Sure I saw the guy on Mythbusters sneeze, but his sneeze didn't seem nearly as violent as mine where it practically makes my head hurt. I've felt the pressure building against my eyes when I had them open and about to sneeze and it wasn't pleasant. Then I always closed my eyes quickly before sneezing.
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post #16 of 42
3/5/08 at 4:23pm
Yeah, I don't care if it was a definitive test, because it was damn funny.
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post #17 of 42
3/5/08 at 5:12pm
I hate it when that happens. Or when someone makes you laugh and you nearly choke on whatever you happen to be eating/drinking. Some fuckin' people...
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post #18 of 42
3/5/08 at 5:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Belching thru the nose is the worst.
Especially Coke or Pepsi nose-burps. I've actually let out yelps of pain from those.
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post #19 of 42
3/5/08 at 7:24pm
I think I can top the nose burp. When you vomit, and a lil' bit of the stomach-acid-y stuff goes up your nostrils from your throat, causing them to burn for hours, and chunks of whatever foulness you expelled get stuck in there, and you have to spend the next few hours (at least) trying to decide if it's more economical (depending on how far in they've gone) to snort them back into your throat and (hopefully) spit them out, or work them through to the front and blow them out into a napkin.

THAT's the worst. What can I say? I have a weak stomach for alcohol, but insisted on drinking a lot in college. Spent many anight in the above condition, moaning prayers to the Porcelain God. . . .
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post #20 of 42
3/5/08 at 7:25pm
I once sneezed a mouthful of chewed-up carrot all over my computer keyboard. It looked like the apocalypse.

And in one hilarious incident, I was using someone else's computer, and sneezed strawberry milk all over their keyboard, and quietly left without cleaning it up.
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post #21 of 42
3/5/08 at 7:27pm
And I once accidentally inhaled a big gob of soap up my nose in the shower. My nose/throat combo burned like the dickens for days. NOT RECOMMENDED, 0 OUT OF 10 STARS.
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post #22 of 42
3/5/08 at 7:33pm
Paul I love your avatar.
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post #23 of 42
3/5/08 at 7:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarence Beaks View Post
Ugly. The blast radius is quite impressive. I'll be dabbing up bits of pepperoni pizza for days.
That's why you need a doggie. Hounds are great at washing dishes too.
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post #24 of 42
3/5/08 at 7:50pm
I think one of the most disgusting feelings I've ever been unfortunate enough to experience was when I held in a sneeze while eating cheesecake. Shit went up my nasal passage but not far enough to come out my nose. I could feel the creamy, chunky substance up there, dripping down the back of my throat for a good hour after the incident.

Oh, and you know those times when you burp and feel a little bit o' stomach acid come up but it usually goes right back down? My brother was eating some of my moms dessert one evening when he felt he needed more. In the middle of asking "Mom, can I have some more apple -" what meant to be "pie" came up as "PILIARRRH", and a little bit of red, foamy liquid dribbled out of his mouth and onto his plate.
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post #25 of 42
3/6/08 at 4:42pm
Same thing happened to me once, but my liquid was kind of beer colored. Did I mention we were playing quarters at the time, & I just did a boilermaker (shot of rum dropped into a beer)? I forget what the hell I was saying, but I almost "vurped" all over the game playing surface (I managed to slap a hand over my gob in time to stop almost all of it; having to re-swallow has to go into the "worst thing ever" hall of fame as well, though). Luckily. it was all just a bunch of dudes getting shitfaced, so everyone there thought it funny, and no feminine cries of "Eeewwwwwww!" rang out. We just lahffed and lahffed. . .
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post #26 of 42
3/6/08 at 5:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Especially Coke or Pepsi nose-burps. I've actually let out yelps of pain from those.
Yeah, anything with soda. And beer? BLURFGH.

I hate it when you don't even feel it coming. Five seconds after you took a sip, BAM! I almost get whiplash from the recoil.
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post #27 of 42
3/6/08 at 5:19pm
Anyone here ever belch and hiccup at the same time? It can be quite painful.
I think if you threw a simultaneous sneeze into that high-octane mix, it would cause an aneurysm.
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post #28 of 42
3/6/08 at 5:27pm
I once did the sneeze/fart combo so hard I had to check to see if my ass was pouring blood. It was a burning pain, with an anus spasm chaser.

It was as if I had been stepped on by an elephant, and all the air in my body exited my bunghole in one big blast.
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post #29 of 42
3/6/08 at 5:45pm
I was at a bar one time with some people who bought along "that guy" - ie - the guy no one likes but somehow gets there anyway. A couple of friends decided to have a chugging match, which "that guy" decided he wanted to join. Halfway through the match I saw him get the "shit I can't do this and I'm gonna fuckin' puke" look on his face but he continued anyway. Suddenly he wretched about 8 ounces of beer, foam, spit, and vomit into his cup and then chugged that back down, hoping that no one noticed. Well I did. I called him out on it and he denied it, hence why he's "that guy."
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post #30 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:15pm
I did that two nights ago, which is why I'm struggling not to fall out of my chair laughing right now. Good God that hurts though.
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post #31 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:16pm
So am I the only one who's sneezed into a vagina?

For your sake, I hope I am.
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post #32 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:24pm
You're lucky you didn't sneeze with a mouthful of cock. You coulda bit that right off.
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post #33 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cervaise View Post
So am I the only one who's sneezed into a vagina?

For your sake, I hope I am.
I figured it would have impacted on the surface. But you could be staring down a chasm for all we know.
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post #34 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cervaise View Post
So am I the only one who's sneezed into a vagina?
Quote:
Originally Posted by slop101 View Post
You're lucky you didn't sneeze with a mouthful of cock. You coulda bit that right off.
Pubes are notorious furious nose ticklers.

Or you may have a snatch/cock allergy.
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post #35 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Anyone here ever belch and hiccup at the same time? It can be quite painful.
I think if you threw a simultaneous sneeze into that high-octane mix, it would cause an aneurysm.
Quoted for truth. ALLLLL of it.
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post #36 of 42
3/6/08 at 6:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Anyone here ever belch and hiccup at the same time? It can be quite painful.
I think if you threw a simultaneous sneeze into that high-octane mix, it would cause an aneurysm.
Yup. Ow.

I have definitely sneezed with my mouth full before, that is disgusting in every way.

I've also coughed with my mouth full before. I was just eating and all of a sudden I had to cough, it was completely beyond my control. The best I could do was slap my hand over my mouth, and I got to experience the warm mushy goodness of half masticated food slapping into your hand and spraying through your fingers. Eeeeeew (feminine cry of disgust)
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post #37 of 42
3/6/08 at 7:28pm
The worst thing about coughing (and especially sneezing) with a full mouth is that sometimes you do a quick, involuntary inhalation right before you cough, and God have mercy on your soul if you have any sort of powdery foodstuff in your mouth, since it's going to go right into your lungs.
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post #38 of 42
3/12/08 at 3:27pm
All-time worst: Sneezing while having a nose bleed.

I was running for a Kleenex when I sneezed all over the nice white fridge. It was like watching an arterial spray from a horror movie, only it was coming from me.
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post #39 of 42
3/13/08 at 2:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Anyone here ever belch and hiccup at the same time? It can be quite painful.
I think if you threw a simultaneous sneeze into that high-octane mix, it would cause an aneurysm.
Never did that, but I think for the first time ever last December I was vomiting and belching at the same time, and that was hellish.

Imagine standing over the toilet, not only dry heaving, thinking your stomach can't possibly have enough in it to keep puking up stuff hour after hour (five hours total), but literally screaming while your stomach is painfully spasming and you're belching unusually long. And one leg is up in the air because it hurts your stomach to have both legs pointing straight down and you practically have your knee by your head.
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post #40 of 42
3/13/08 at 2:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
I think I can top the nose burp. When you vomit, and a lil' bit of the stomach-acid-y stuff goes up your nostrils from your throat, causing them to burn for hours, and chunks of whatever foulness you expelled get stuck in there, and you have to spend the next few hours (at least) trying to decide if it's more economical (depending on how far in they've gone) to snort them back into your throat and (hopefully) spit them out, or work them through to the front and blow them out into a napkin.
I know I've told my bachelor party story round here before. Here's the quick recap:
  • 24 oz steak dinner (with potatoes & beer) at Arthur's: Morristown, NJ
  • Beer funnel back at my friend's place (atleast 3 bottles poured in at one time)
  • Got it all down, until what was left in the tube.
  • Tried to force the swallow, choked, and puked up steak dinner and a ton of beer through my nose & mouth.
  • Clogged kitchen sink, a terrible stench, chunks in my burning nostrils, and a night of continued drinking, hand-cuffed to a chair.
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post #41 of 42
3/13/08 at 2:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
I know I've told my bachelor party story round here before. Here's the quick recap:
  • 24 oz steak dinner (with potatoes & beer) at Arthur's: Morristown, NJ
  • Beer funnel back at my friend's place (atleast 3 bottles poured in at one time)
  • Got it all down, until what was left in the tube.
  • Tried to force the swallow, choked, and puked up steak dinner and a ton of beer through my nose & mouth.
  • Clogged kitchen sink, a terrible stench, chunks in my burning nostrils, and a night of continued drinking, hand-cuffed to a chair.
Hey, that was your six thousandth post! Guess what that means! (gets out beer funnel)
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post #42 of 42
3/13/08 at 2:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jared Melton View Post
Hey, that was your six thousandth post! Guess what that means! (gets out beer funnel)
I'll have a drink for my 1000+ lost "revamp casualty" posts.
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