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Woman stuck to toilet for 2 years!

post #1 of 41
3/12/08 at 11:01pm
Thread Starter 
Yahoo

Being a tubby and having your ass checks mold to the couch is one thing. I mean, I know skinny ass people who won't leave their couch for days while watching the boob tube. But how exactly do you get your ass cheeks stuck on a toilet? What is so fascinating in there that you wouldn't get up after doing your business? And what kind of boyfriend waits 2 years before calling for help? This has to be a made up story. Please God let it be.
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post #2 of 41
3/12/08 at 11:41pm
I feel sorry for the EMTs who had to see that. They should be put on suicide watch.
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post #3 of 41
3/12/08 at 11:49pm
These people have to have legitimate mental disabilities. No remotely right thinking person would sit on a toilet for two years* or bring someone sitting on a toilet for two years food and water every day. If they aren't in some way mentally impaired, they should both be beaten until they are.

*Unless they ate at Taco Bell.
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post #4 of 41
3/12/08 at 11:52pm
Yeah, we were laughing about this one at work all day today. I just don't buy it myself. Maybe two months, but two years? Hmmm.
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post #5 of 41
3/12/08 at 11:53pm
They finally found Trejo's mother!
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post #6 of 41
3/13/08 at 12:15am
And here I thought I'd been wasting my life for the last couple of years!
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post #7 of 41
3/13/08 at 12:41am
When you gotta go, you can't go.
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post #8 of 41
3/13/08 at 2:15am
Chicks, man. Chicks.
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post #9 of 41
3/13/08 at 2:25am
Why is anyone surprised the boyfriend didn't try very hard to put a stop to this? Sitting on a toilet, I'd bet she was juuuust about waist high or so.

Man should be commended.
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post #10 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:22am
Wonder if she had a TV in there. Sounds like the kind of people who have a little tv in the shitter.
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post #11 of 41
3/13/08 at 11:01am
All I can say is - that boyfriend must have had an awesome selection of magazines if she wouldn't get off the can for two years.
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post #12 of 41
3/13/08 at 11:47am
That, or it was one mean mother of a dump. Shai-Hulud sized.

All in all, thank God she wasn't anywhere near Great Adventure when I was working there back in the day (those of you who've read my GA stories in other threads know of what I speak).
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post #13 of 41
3/13/08 at 11:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
They finally found Trejo's mother!
I'm giving these dufflebags full of peanut butter candy bars away to homeless people.

See what you made me do? Homeless people! What a waste!

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!??!!!
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post #14 of 41
3/13/08 at 11:57am
What a bizarre story. I hope they both get psych evaluations.
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post #15 of 41
3/13/08 at 1:13pm
Hope there was a second toilet in the residence, or at least a top-notch garbage disposal.
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post #16 of 41
3/13/08 at 1:23pm
Her boyfriend should be beaten to death with a live possum. What kind of an asshole lets someone close to them get to this point?
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post #17 of 41
3/13/08 at 1:28pm
I'm surprised he just didn't leave her after writing "Gluttony" in shit on the wall.
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post #18 of 41
3/13/08 at 1:57pm
You think she flushed?
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post #19 of 41
3/13/08 at 4:06pm
Quoted by The Nightmarish Image I Can't Unsee in My Mind:
Quote:
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat.
AAAAAAUUUUGGGHGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Now I can't ever ever ever go to sleep at night, or shut my eyes, or doze off, or blink, or anything, or the skin-covered toilet seat with the crazy lady still attached will come get meeeeee!!!

(*Dives head first into a huge pile of No-Doz*)
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post #20 of 41
3/13/08 at 4:17pm
were is James H. Nicholson and Samuel Z. Arkoff when you need them.



The movie should be called 'it came from the toilet boil'.
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post #21 of 41
3/13/08 at 4:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
You think she flushed?
No plumbing in the world could've taken that and survived.
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post #22 of 41
3/13/08 at 4:22pm
I wonder if her boy was named Bono.
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post #23 of 41
3/13/08 at 4:23pm
The number of Courics must've been off the scale.
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post #24 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Quoted by The Nightmarish Image I Can't Unsee in My Mind:

AAAAAAUUUUGGGHGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Now I can't ever ever ever go to sleep at night, or shut my eyes, or doze off, or blink, or anything, or the skin-covered toilet seat with the crazy lady still attached will come get meeeeee!!!

(*Dives head first into a huge pile of No-Doz*)
But just imagine the SOUND her fleshy ass rolls made as it was pulled oh so slowly off the seat: a nice, long, wet, SHHHHHHFLUMMMPHHHSHHHHH - POP!

Article said her legs were atrophied - she probably looks like a potato with two toothpicks sticking out of the bottom.
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post #25 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:39pm
GAAAH! I'm sitting here with my hand over my mouth, horrified, just thinking how much I hate you....

There's no peeling off! Her (*gaaak!*) skin grew around (*retch!*) the seat!!
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post #26 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:45pm
Lisa, I suspect you haven't seen much Cronenberg or Takashi Miike or read much Clive Barker.

What I'm trying to say, this is lightweight stuff.
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post #27 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:52pm
They had to surgically remove the seat from her. All I can picture is the door of the telepod fused to Brundlefly in Cronenberg's The Fly. But at least that was an accident.
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post #28 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:52pm
But see, those are just movies. Her butt grew AROUND the toilet! Gaaaah!!

Edit - Dickson posted before me. Yeah, even Brundlefly didn't freak me out like reading that part of the article. She's the Lady Brundlefly!
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post #29 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:55pm
Get this -- her skin grew around the seat. That means there had to have been a pretty tight seal. What kind of Dagobah was growing underneath her when they pulled her off that thing?
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post #30 of 41
3/13/08 at 5:57pm
If only she didn't go for the toothpick.

I'm sorry, but I just think this is hilarious.


I have a deranged mind.
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post #31 of 41
3/13/08 at 6:08pm
Yeah, I'm suprised the bacteria in the toilet didn't eat her alive ass-first over 2 years.

Heres the problem: What if the boyfriend went to take a shit in the other toilet and got stuck too.. THEN who would bring them food and water every day while they are stuck to the porcelain throne?
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post #32 of 41
3/13/08 at 6:29pm
Whatever was in the toilet bowl must have grown self-aware at some point during that time. It just had to!
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post #33 of 41
3/13/08 at 6:37pm
This reminds me of a relly old and awful joke:
A guy has just applied a new coat of paint to his toilet; his wife, unaware of this, uses the toilet and gets stuck, so the guy removes the toilet seat so she can lay face down on the bed while he calls a doctor.
The doctor arrives at the scene and the guy, as he points at his wife's toilet seat stuck ass, asks: "Well Doc, what do you think?".
And the doctor goes "Well, its a pretty good ass, but having it framed is a bit too much, dont you think?".
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post #34 of 41
3/13/08 at 6:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Whatever was in the toilet bowl must have grown self-aware at some point during that time. It just had to!
Oh, it did. It's just that its plaintive cries for help were stifled and eventually smothered by the GASKET OF ASS FLESH THAT GREW AROUND THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT.
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post #35 of 41
3/13/08 at 6:42pm
If I could rep, I would.
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post #36 of 41
3/13/08 at 7:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Oh, it did. It's just that its plaintive cries for help were stifled and eventually smothered by the GASKET OF ASS FLESH THAT GREW AROUND THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT.
now there sir is a Samuel Z. Arkoff title. my hat is off to you word smithery
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post #37 of 41
3/13/08 at 7:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Oh, it did. It's just that its plaintive cries for help were stifled and eventually smothered by the GASKET OF ASS FLESH THAT GREW AROUND THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT.
We were so close to having an amazing new lifeform on this planet. The unfathomable melding of (wo)man and toilet into one mighty new being.

Alas, we will never know what might have been.
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post #38 of 41
3/13/08 at 7:44pm
It's like those cheap, tacky toilet seats that are cushiony - except hers is cushioned with flesh that grew around it!

(See? It'll never not be horrifying!)
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post #39 of 41
3/14/08 at 6:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
They had to surgically remove the seat from her. All I can picture is the door of the telepod fused to Brundlefly in Cronenberg's The Fly. But at least that was an accident.
All I can picture is the doctor responsible for the removal committing suicide as soon as he got home. "All these years in med school for this?" BAM!
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post #40 of 41
3/14/08 at 9:52am
Anyone realize that she's got a toilet-seat-imprint-in-Silly-Putty ass now? Will she ever wear pants again, or is it strictly mumus from here on out?

To run with what stelios said, I can imagine the doctor who performed the removal going home, his wife asking "How was your day?" and the doctor giving her five across the eyes.
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post #41 of 41
3/14/08 at 12:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
We were so close to having an amazing new lifeform on this planet. The unfathomable melding of (wo)man and toilet into one mighty new being.
You know Cronenberg was just about to come up with that only to have his idea stolen.
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