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The Official Thread Of Good News

post #1 of 110
Thread Starter 
Because, goddammit, we need one. Hopefully this will provide some comfort from the other shit our fucked up species does during the course of a week.

Hopefully a sticky isn't too much to ask.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/2008031...e-c1b2fc3.html

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahoo UK
Dolphin rescues stranded whales: conservation official
AFP
By David Brooks AFP - Wednesday, March 12 07:03 am

WELLINGTON (AFP) - A dolphin guided two stranded whales to safety after human attempts to keep the animals off a New Zealand beach failed, a conservation official said Wednesday.
(Advertisement)

"I've never heard of anything like this before, it was amazing," Conservation Department officer Malcolm Smith said.

The actions of the dolphin, well known locally for playing with swimmers at Mahia beach on the east coast of the North Island, probably meant the difference between life and death for the whales, Smith told AFP.

Smith had been working for over an hour and a half to save the two pygmy sperm whales which had repeatedly become stranded despite his attempts to push them back out to sea.

A bottlenose dolphin, named Moko by locals, appeared and guided the whales to safety after apparently communicating with them, Smith said.

The whales, a three-metre (10-foot) female and her 1.5 metre male calf, were apparently confused by a sandbar just off the beach and could not find their way back to open water.

Smith had been alerted at daybreak on Monday by a neighbour about the two stranded whales on Mahia beach near his home.

"Over the next hour and a half I pushed them back out to sea two or three times and they were very reluctant to move offshore," Smith said.

"I was starting to get cold and wet and they were becoming tired. I was reaching the stage where I was thinking it's about time to give up here, I've done as much as I can."

In that situation, whales are often humanely killed to end their suffering.

Smith said Moko arrived on the scene and he could hear the whales and the dolphin making noises, apparently to one another.

"The whales made contact with the dolphin and she basically escorted them about 200 metres (yards) parallel with the beach to the edge of the sandbar.

"Then she did a right-angle turn through quite a narrow channel and escorted them out to sea.

"There's been no sign of the whales since Monday, they haven't restranded."

"What the communication was I do not know, and I was not aware dolphins could communicate with pygmy sperm whales, but something happened that allowed Moko to guide those two whales to safety."

Moko has become famous for her antics at Mahia, which include playing in the surf with swimmers, approaching boats to be patted and pushing kayaks through the water with her snout.

Such close interaction with humans is rare among dolphins but not unknown. "She's become isolated from her pod obviously for one reason or another, but obviously made Mahia home just at the moment."

Mahia gets up to 30 whale strandings a year, most of which end with the whales having to be put down.

"I don't know if next time we have a whale stranding we can get her to come in again. She certainly saved the day for us and the whales this time."
For the sanity of us all, fill this sonofabitch.
post #2 of 110
Note that this particular piece of good news is one of cetacean on cetacean aide.

My point? Humans are incapable of producing good news.
post #3 of 110
Way to kill the dream, Drew. sheesh

And thanks to Amphibatron for the link: Happy News: All the News That's Fun to Print
post #4 of 110
Thank you!!!

If I see enough evidence here that humanity isn't a total piece of shit I might consider coming back to the fold.
post #5 of 110
We wouldn't accept you, filthy lycanthrope...
post #6 of 110
Says the guy with the lion as his avatar!
post #7 of 110
Don't worry. I'm a doctor!
post #8 of 110
There's an update to the article: After the dolphin led the whales out it immediately jumped out of the water and out of Earth's atmosphere. It was heard shouting "So long, and thanks for all the fish!" The whales popped out of existense and are said to have reappeared miles above the Earth falling towards what they decided to call "ground".
post #9 of 110
Along with a bowl of petunias that thought, 'Oh no, not again.'
post #10 of 110
Good news: I came to work commando. Enjoy that little nugget of happiness!
post #11 of 110
Inspired by this thread, I searched for the term "good samaritan" in headlines. These are some of the headlines that I got:

"Police Blotter: Good Samaritan Turns Out To Be A Thief"

"Good Samaritan Killed on Route 93"

"Good Samaritan Robbed"

"Good Samaritan Hurt After Teen Brawl"

The news is fucking disgusting.
post #12 of 110
Umm...it's my last day of work today! And before I enter the savage lands of unemployment, I'm going to Britain for two weeks with the girlfriend! That's good news!
post #13 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Don't worry. I'm a doctor!
Last guy who told me that took me to a Leaf's game and then took me home and tried to do me...


(Kids in Hall references are allowed here, right?)
post #14 of 110
"In the Middle Ages everyone really had to worry about witches and goblins, but what we have is stuff eating at us. We've got stuff we don't even... I mean, why do you think that all the warlords of the world are so anxious to get their own personal little stash of chemical weapons. They call them weapons of mass destruction, but they're not. They're very *very* selective about what they destroy. They annihilate people and preserve things. They LOVE things. You and I would be dead, gas... puke... gone. Whereas, you know, other earlier older people - the ancients - could look to the heavens, which in their minds was inhabited by this thoughtful, meditative, you know, maybe a trifle unpredictable and wrathful, but nevertheless up there - this divine onlooker. We've got anchorpersons and talking heads. We've got politicians who decide life and death issues on the basis of their media consultants. That's what we've GOT!"

*vomits*
post #15 of 110
Quote:
Dad accused of forcing girl to pet cat

MUNCIE, Indiana (AP) -- A man was lauded Thursday for forcing his 7-year-old daughter to pet the family cat by placing her hand on it's head and rubbing lightly with her fingers. They proceeded to rub below it's chin, down it's back, and just before the tail. The cat was so happy that it flipped over on it's back allowing for maximum belly rubs.

Danield J. Collins, 39, told his children during a visit to his home Sunday that he wanted them to "learn how to love kitty!" and gave his 11-year-old son a stray cat to do it, according to neighbors.

The boy tried to ignore the cat by hiding it under a sofa bed and putting a stuffed animal in it's makeshift kitty bed when Collins went to the bathroom. But when the father realized that the cat had not been properly snuggle-wuggled, he forced his daughter to hold kitty and held her hand tightly as they both lovingly stroked the animal, Muncie police Detective Jami Brown said...


..."I've been doing investigations for 10 years, and that's the happiest wittle kitty I've ever seen," the detective said.

...
post #16 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Umm...it's my last day of work today! And before I enter the savage lands of unemployment, I'm going to Britain for two weeks with the girlfriend! That's good news!
Congratulations! When are you heading out? Have a good time!
post #17 of 110
Thank you Amphibatron for that. It made me smile (even if the true story makes me do anything but)

Wednesday night, Lisa. So don't replan anything for the gathering in April! I will be decidedly unavailable.
post #18 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Good news: I came to work commando. Enjoy that little nugget of happiness!
Did you have to use the word "nugget"?
post #19 of 110
I WIN on the good news front today.

My mother has been fighting cancer for a long time now. It started out as breast cancer (mastectomy) and has since spread throughout her body. She got diagnosed with colon cancer on Wednesday and went in to surgery this morning. We all feared the worst.

She got out of surgery about 2 hours ago and they THINK that they got most, if not all of it, and she won't need a colostomy bag...not even a temporary one.

I went from being in HELL for two days to needing a celebratory drink. Good news indeed...
post #20 of 110
Drink hearty, sir! That is good news indeed!
post #21 of 110
My boss here at work gave me some of his MaCallan to celebrate with.
post #22 of 110
A random relative gave me 50 bucks today. Also it's her birthday, so I get cake.
post #23 of 110
Good news? Uh...this Rilo Kiley concert I'm listening to is really good. That's all I got.
post #24 of 110
Judas, that is excellent news! Congratulations to you and to your mom's continued recovery!
post #25 of 110
I drank whiskey and didn't start calling people cunts.
post #26 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams View Post
I drank whiskey and didn't start calling people cunts.
Well, tomorrow brings all the St. Pat's day parties, so I'll pick up your slack and then some.
post #27 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
Well, tomorrow brings all the St. Pat's day parties, so I'll pick up your slack and then some.
Today was a warm up for the weekend. I'll probably end up calling someone a rapist, because they pissed me off.

Also, I forgot my friend bought me 2 cheeseburgers.
post #28 of 110
post #29 of 110
I am waiting patiently for Doc Happenin to post an item -- any item-- of good news from Kenya.
post #30 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
Well, tomorrow brings all the St. Pat's day parties, so I'll pick up your slack and then some.
Fuckin A' Schwartz, can't wait to hit the streets with the green t-shirt tomorrow on and put down a lot of crappy dyed beer. HOORAY FOR IRELAND!
post #31 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Fuckin A' Schwartz, can't wait to hit the streets with the green t-shirt tomorrow on and put down a lot of crappy dyed beer. HOORAY FOR IRELAND!
No dyed beer for me, it's cheap whiskey or nothing at all.
post #32 of 110
For everyone in this thread that had something good happen to them (Judas, I'm looking at you!):



Today, I went to Staples to get a new chair for my office, and saw two goth/emo kids help an old man lug his purchases to his car, put them in his trunk, smiled and waved as he left. The clouds parted and the sun appeared.
post #33 of 110
Can the German brother and sister not being able to procreate anymore be good news as well?
post #34 of 110
I'd like to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to everyone who commented on here or sent me a private message regarding my mother. I sincerely appreciate the support.
post #35 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
Today, I went to Staples to get a new chair for my office, and saw two goth/emo kids help an old man lug his purchases to his car, put them in his trunk, smiled and waved as he left. The clouds parted and the sun appeared.
And the kids were immediately immolated by the sunlight.
post #36 of 110
I thought I saw you lurking in the parking lot, Doc. Good one!
post #37 of 110
Well, today I watched the making of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon in my audio class, that was pretty fucking cool to watch.

Also, I got some Croatian moonshine from a relative. I'm saving it for my birthday though.
post #38 of 110
Thread Starter 
http://www.ocala.com/article/2008031...0330/1025/NEWS

Quote:
Firefighters hoist up foal stuck in old septic tank
Mare, fouled foal reunite


BY AUSTIN L. MILLER
STAR-BANNER


CITRA - Following mom is usually a good idea. But for a 2-month-old foal named Shooter, pacing after his mother, Reba, landed the little guy in deep doo-doo Tuesday.

It took nearly a dozen Marion County Fire Rescue firefighters an hour and 12 minutes to free Shooter from 2 to 3 feet of foul water in a septic tank.

The rescue operation, which required hoses, harnesses and ropes, was a delicate endeavor. When Shooter fell in the tank, the cracked concrete cover was about 3 feet over his head. Rescue workers had to make sure the slab, with a 2-1/2-foot-by-2-1/2-foot crack, didn't fall on the shivering, frightened foal. They also had to make sure Shooter wasn't startled to the point he would thrash around and hit his head on the concrete.

Most of all, rescue officials had to make sure that while the animal was being hoisted from the mucky water, he didn't injure himself on the exposed broken steel rods used to reinforce the septic tank, said Fire Rescue spokeswoman Heather Danenhower.

Marion County firefighter/paramedic Daniel Jodoin, who recently rescued "Lucky," a German shepherd mix, from a deep pit, was again called upon to rescue an animal.

He was successful, eventually. Aside from the jumpy, slippery horse almost falling back in the old, unused tank and falling on some broken cinder blocks, he was basically OK. He had at least two cuts - one on either side of his legs.

"I was terrified. I almost jumped down there to save him. I'm glad to see him alive," said Mary Rolka, owner of Stormy Acres Farm at 2450 N.W. 165th St. in Citra.

Apparently, the mare escaped from a fenced area and Shooter followed. When Reba crossed over a septic tank, her weight either broke or displaced the cover and Shooter fell in. Though Rolka wasn't at home at the time, when she returned, Reba and Shooter were missing, so she went looking for them.

"I walked around a bit and then I saw him," Rolka said.

Rolka called 911. Danenhower said Fire Rescue received the call at 1:50 p.m. and arrived at 1:58 p.m. The rescue was completed at 3:10 p.m. Rescuers used a pinch bar to chip away at the concrete.

When freed, and smelling like something only a mother could love, Shooter was reunited with Reba and seemed calm.
post #39 of 110
I saw a guy that looked like A. Wilford Brimley at a bar.
post #40 of 110
Thread Starter 
And you didn't test his blood sugar, or go in with a flamethrower.

Dumbass.
post #41 of 110
post #42 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
[Duke Nukem]

Balls of steel.

[/Duke Nukem]

But, considered for the Victoria Cross? What more should he have done? Should his rucksack hit Osama on the head or something?
post #43 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
And you didn't test his blood sugar, or go in with a flamethrower.

Dumbass.
Well, I did try to light his mustache on fire. I couldn't get close enough for fear that he would touch me and assimilate me and/or give me diabetes.
post #44 of 110
Today, I found a lottery ticket on the side of the road worth $10!

Then I came back and found the American Gangster 2-Disc in the mail (I guess I won the contest that Eileen put up back in February).
post #45 of 110
post #46 of 110
Calgary message board users take 24 hours to track down a car thief:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/13/au...hp&oref=slogin
post #47 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ Fischer View Post
Calgary message board users take 24 hours to track down a car thief:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/13/au...hp&oref=slogin
That story is gold. And the writing isn't as painful as it usually is when people write about the internet (though they just had to stick the word "blog" in there for no reason.)
post #48 of 110
This thread has been neglected for far too long, so I humbly submit this:

Voyager II Reaches the Edge of the Solar System

A tribute to mankind if ever there was one.

Now, in a couple hundred of years, we can expect V'Ger!
post #49 of 110
A 16mm negative of Fritz Lang's original cut of Metropolis has surfaced in Argentina.
post #50 of 110
Thought this was pretty cool. This girl left behind her camera in a restaurant, and it was stolen. But the wireless SD card uploaded the photos to her automatically when it hit a wifi spot, and they found the thief and got the camera back.

Quote:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Alison DeLauzon thought the snapshots and home videos of her infant son were gone for good when she lost her digital camera while on vacation in Florida.

Then a funny thing happened: her camera "phoned home."

Equipped with a special memory card with wireless Internet capability, DeLauzon's camera had not only automatically sent her holiday pictures to her computer, but had even uploaded photos of the miscreants who swiped her equipment bag after she accidentally left it behind at a restaurant.

"I opened up the Eye-Fi manager on the computer and, lo and behold, there are the guys that stole our cameras," said DeLauzon, a native of New York's Long Island suburb. "Not only is it the guy who stole our camera ... but the guy took a picture of (his accomplice) holding our other camera."

DeLauzon received the Eye-Fi, a 2-gigabyte SD memory card that fits into millions of digital cameras, as a holiday gift to go with her Canon camera.

Priced at about $100, the card automatically uploads pictures to a home computer or online photosharing service as soon as the user is linked to a familiar wireless network.

Luckily, the culprits passed by an unsecured network, whose factory-installed setting matched that of DeLauzon's home system, and the Eye-Fi automatically shipped the photos: first baby pictures, then the snap-happy scoundrels.

DeLauzon didn't want to press charges against the people who had her camera: Both were employees at the restaurant where she dined and accidentally left her photo equipment.

Sure, they were fired -- but getting justice was not as important to her as retrieving her memories of her baby boy.

"When we finally got it back, my husband and I spent the night just sitting and watching the videos -- stupid videos, like him feeding himself for the first time or him pulling himself up in his crib for the first time. We sat down one night and just relished it."
http://www.reuters.com/article/marke...BrandChannel=0
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