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Gaming Online (Or Why You Suck)

post #1 of 33
3/14/08 at 4:40pm
Thread Starter 
My brothers and I have recently started playing Gears of War online, just for shits and giggles and just when we can find the time. We've noticed a few things in between shooting people up and ragdolling through the air:

1: Why is there always THAT ONE GUY, the same guy who stages backyard warfare with lawn gnomes and flamingoes, who feels he must lead the team to victory, yells at you when you don't follow his "orders", but then dies two seconds into the game anyway?

2: People always going for the grenade launcher and A: getting picked off as soon as they've found it, or B: wasting both shots and then getting ripped in half by the guy lucky enough to score his only kill in the entire match.

3: The fuckers who sing through the entire fucking game, but never manage to get the words right.

Tell me this stupidity doesn't happen elsewhere and that I'm playing the wrong game. Either that or share your online horror stories.
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post #2 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:06pm
This is your first foray into online gaming? If this bothers you I suggest you head for the exits post hate. Take the absolute worst possible message board offenders, and add a mic. Now you get to actually hear these mongrels.

It's been like that since WC2, Diablo 2, Counter Strike, and it just gets worse. I suggest finding people to play with (the CHUD boys are great) and turn off every other person in the games you play.

I actually had a new one last night. My room mate was playing Halo 3, and someone's phone rang, and he ignored it. It did this 3 times, and finally on the 3rd call he answered it and started holding a conversation. Completely over Live.
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post #3 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:30pm
But you get to hear all kinds of wonderful and colorful language in online gaming.. it's really beautiful.

Like for instance, I did not know I was a "fucking nigger-faggot cunt fuck assrape kike bitch" until I started playing CounterStrike back in the day, and I feel like I've lead a better life ever since this was brought to my attention.
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post #4 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:34pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
"fucking nigger-faggot cunt fuck assrape kike bitch"
Try explaining to your 11-year-old brother what those words mean the first time he tries XBOX Live. Yeah, that was uncomfortable.
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post #5 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:41pm
I'm too polite, I at least turn off the mike and refer to my friends, who know my temper, as fucking faggoty ass fuckin cuntrags.

I'm not proud of it, but those little punks piss me off so bad I just can't control myself.

My name is Jakespeare, and I have an anger issue.
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post #6 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:45pm
There have really only been a couple times where I've hit the level of anger Jake is talking about. Maybe it's because I mostly play online with Chewers or my in IRL friends. I don't particularly care for the pre-pubescent boys who like to scream into the mic.

You shouldn't dog on the dipshits who go for the same weapon or chokepoint at the beginning of every match, though. They are a great way to rack up a few easy kills. That one hallway on the Bog map in CoD4 is particularly great for this.
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post #7 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:47pm
I was playing CoD4 a few nights ago when a teammate starts yelling "Did you think you could get past me you fuking Jew bastard?! Kike!" So I ask him to tone down the racism and he proceeds to tell me that it's ok because he has a tough job...he's a marine. Then he goes on a rant about how the Navy lets in fags.

Now we were playing as marines and were up against terrorists so I don't get why he was screaming about the Jews. I think his insults should have been aimed at the Arabs. Come to think of it I'm not sure if the guy was really a marine after all...

Edited to add a few weeks ago I wound on on a team of some clan. Seriously The Clan. They kept screaming "White Power!" I don't know if they were for real or just doing the Clayton Bigsby yell from Chapple Show but I was out of there a little sooner then the end of the match.
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post #8 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:48pm
Unless I'm in a CHUD match, I keep the mic off my ear. Now, with the CHUD boys, I'm a blue streaking bastard, especially to b_metal, who sucks (and by sucks, I mean is awesome).
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post #9 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
You shouldn't dog on the dipshits who go for the same weapon or chokepoint at the beginning of every match, though.
Those dipshits are always on my team.
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post #10 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Unless I'm in a CHUD match, I keep the mic off my ear.
That's probably for the best. Those other guys come from a world you.. may not understand.
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post #11 of 33
3/14/08 at 5:59pm
I have no more horror stories because I refuse to play online without friends. It's easier that way.
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post #12 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:00pm
Trejo, I swear to Christ I'm gonna take two smallish, nostril sized objects and shove em up your nose and right through your brain.

grumbles incoherently...
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post #13 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:03pm
Now now he's not the enemy. The Klan, the majority of middle school children, and all those who watched Do the Right Thing and thought it'd be fun to talk like they do in the "Time Out!" montage are.
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post #14 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:09pm
Something like that?



Are you mental?
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post #15 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:10pm
Link's dead.

EDIT: I'll admit failure. I don't know what that is.

*ducks behind barricade against possible attack*

Wait, judging by the noses it's not a response to me. Sorry guys! Ego tripping again!
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post #16 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:43pm
The fun of online gaming is playing against differing skill types and strategies that you or your circle of friends might not be able to come up with. It broadens the gaming experiences because those immature 12 year olds are very good at what they do and playing against them broadens your own experience. Otherwise, it's the same old game with the same old people you've played games with since forever. It's boring. I dont' want to be able to anticipate the other team because I know my idiot friend always breaks right at a certain intersection. i want some fuckhead kid to surprise me so i can learn from it and try to outplay him.

It's tough though, the world is full of people who should've been aborted, but thats the world we live in. I find pleasure in dealing with it. Of course, you can always play without your mic. I mean, do you NEED to hear the other players? You guys don't like the cursing and you don't like people calling strategy so why would you even take the time to plug in your mikes? There's no point. Just relax and play the game or don't.
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post #17 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:46pm
Yes, Trejo, now stick them as far up your nose as you can, and after you've done that, stick em a little further up.

And also:

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post #18 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:51pm
The worrying thing about online gaming hatin' is that it becomes a war of attrition after a while. Me and Nate have been reduced to sending everyone we destroy at TF2 a little text message saying FISSION MAILED.
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post #19 of 33
3/14/08 at 6:57pm
Doc,



Just givin ya a hard time, friendo. <3
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post #20 of 33
3/14/08 at 7:15pm
hehe Emu kid...
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post #21 of 33
3/14/08 at 7:18pm
Thread Starter 
Wow. I knew there was a reason I started this thread. And that, sir, is it.
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post #22 of 33
3/14/08 at 7:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
The worrying thing about online gaming hatin' is that it becomes a war of attrition after a while. Me and Nate have been reduced to sending everyone we destroy at TF2 a little text message saying FISSION MAILED.
So really what you're saying is that you spend more time sending that message than playing. Because, you know, you two are unstoppable in that game.
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post #23 of 33
3/14/08 at 7:55pm
I still remember the first time somebody called me "nigger shit" in counter strike 1.6.Man, those were the days.Actually it only happened that one time but it was still funny to me.When I had Xbox Live I would just mute the other players.Same with counter strike.As soon as the game began I would open the players list and mute everybody.Including a mic with Live was the biggest mistake Microsoft ever made.The only thing that makes up for it is the fact that they included a friends list feature.
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post #24 of 33
3/14/08 at 8:26pm
"Sex Bomb"
"Gaybar" and
"Motherfucking Montage"

Are just some of the unusual things my clan yells as battlecries.

Why? Why the hell not?

Still, I apologise to anyone playing CoD4 on the PSN who has to put up with the FIST clan.
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post #25 of 33
3/14/08 at 9:27pm
Ahh, Halo 2...
There was this one 4 on 4 Team Training game a couple years ago... Our team consisted of me, my friend in the room with me, a buddy who was online, and some random stranger.
About 20 seconds into the game(the narrow stage with the conveyor belts), all but one of the opposing team dropped out. We were making short work of him, and the friend in the room with me decides to go for the teabag. Not just a single bag, but multiples.
The other team's guy even respawned a few times, only to witness his corpse still being defiled. Things got worse from there, as all 4 of us decided to gang-teabag this poor kid. He'd respawn, attempt to shoot us off of his corpse, get mowed down, and we'd quickly move to the fresh body and repeat the process(yelling shit like "there's a warm body over there! quick, get to it!).
This may sound extraordinarily stupid and juvenile, but it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen/taken part in online.

I still have no idea why that guy on the other team stayed in the game. Fucking masochists.
Then again, he might have been laughing as hard as we were.
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post #26 of 33
3/15/08 at 2:25am
Trejo and Doc, I love you guys. I wish I had some green boxes to give you.
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post #27 of 33
3/15/08 at 1:28pm
Thread Starter 
This morning I had a guy talking in Spanish the entire game, then just start screaming. Two minutes later he sent me a message asking why I wasn't talking back. I had to politely tell him I don't speak the language of the burrito.

Then I got booted.
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post #28 of 33
3/15/08 at 4:55pm
Word to the wise: Don't play FPSs against the Japanese.

I've done it about 4 times, and each time was a spectacular ass-whomping the likes of which just shouldn't happen to a human being, virtual or otherwise..
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post #29 of 33
3/15/08 at 9:48pm
I thought they don't tend to really like FPS' (or Xbox's, for that matter).
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post #30 of 33
3/16/08 at 12:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by YellowHare View Post
I thought they don't tend to really like FPS' (or Xbox's, for that matter).
That's the scary thing.

They don't.
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post #31 of 33
3/16/08 at 1:25am
The worst part is that insults hurled at you aren't limited to coming from your opponents. My worst experiences have come from my own teammates. Case in point, one time my friend and I decide to venture out from Halo 3's ranked matches into the social lobbies and literally from the moment we enter the match until the end of it we were constantly barraged by our own teammates not only insulting us but killing us. For whatever reason, they figured it would be more beneficial to actually shoot their own teammates than the guys on the opposing team.
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post #32 of 33
3/16/08 at 5:00pm
I let my 1337 skills do the talking.
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post #33 of 33
3/16/08 at 8:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Gittes View Post
For whatever reason, they figured it would be more beneficial to actually shoot their own teammates than the guys on the opposing team.
Protip: They didn't think it would "benefit" the team at all. They just thought it was funny. I used to do this in Unreal Tournament 2k4 once I'd finally lost actual interest in the game. Using the 'push' from rockets to blast teammates into the void could be a solid half hour of entertainment, depending on how vocal they got about it.

Xbox Live is a fucking cesspool, I agree. Far worse than anything I came up against in, say, TFC. One in every ten or so rooms I join, there will be some okay people. The rest of the time it's either hilariously bad, or hell on the ears.

I don't normally mute them, though. It's part of the online experience.
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