CHUD.com Community › Forums › POLITICS & RELIGION › Political Discourse › Why does it bother them that we're of apes?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Why does it bother them that we're of apes?

post #1 of 20
3/16/08 at 1:12am
Thread Starter 
These evangelical christians are in such pathetic denial of our nature that I refuse to dignify them with upper-case letters in their name. Even the most prudish ones have taken men or women to bed, before renouncing their acts to some omnipotent being who is wiping the cream from his pants after it all - premarital sex is enjoyable and nigh inevitable. What's more primal and animalistic than copulation? I think they need to take one good look in the mirror at themselves and then masturbate.
Reply
post #2 of 20
3/16/08 at 2:00am
Whatever you do dont bring up dinosaurs when you talk to these people. Well actually you should cause youll hear some absurd explanations.
Reply
post #3 of 20
3/16/08 at 1:07pm
Thread Starter 
As long as I have some popcorn and a chair nearby to enjoy the show.
Reply
post #4 of 20
3/16/08 at 2:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthSidious View Post
Whatever you do dont bring up Ron Paul when you talk to these people. Well actually you should cause youll hear some absurd explanations.
Tell me about it.
Reply
post #5 of 20
3/16/08 at 3:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthSidious View Post
Whatever you do dont bring up dinosaurs when you talk to these people. Well actually you should cause youll hear some absurd explanations.
The best one I ever heard came from a girl on the bus in 9th grade. Somehow the topic of dinsosaurs had come up and she says "I don't believer in dinosaurs. The bible doesn't say anything about them."

To which I reply "Clearly they existed. How do you explain the countless dinsosaur fossils that have been discovered?"

At this point, I thought I'd won. Surely there was no recourse for her. I had facts on my side. Well, that day I learned a valuable lesson. When debating fundies, facts don't mean shit. What happened next broke my mind and left me speechless.

She looked me dead in the eye and said "Oh, those were just put here by Satan to confuse people and lead them away from God."

TKO, motherfucker. I was down for the count. There's no winning an argument with someone like that.

Sure, I could've called her retarded or something, but that stuff rolls off of these people like water off a duck's back.
Reply
post #6 of 20
3/16/08 at 3:40pm
God teaches us to be good people, but I'm going to treat you like shit simply because you don't read the Bible.

You're going to hell, by the way. I just wanted to let you know that everytime I see you.
Reply
post #7 of 20
3/16/08 at 3:41pm
These threads are getting old.
Reply
post #8 of 20
3/16/08 at 3:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Eaton View Post
These threads are getting old.
I think the best way to combat something like that is to post in it and keep it at the top of the page.

Clearly you agree.
Reply
post #9 of 20
3/16/08 at 4:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
TKO, motherfucker. I was down for the count. There's no winning an argument with someone like that.
Unfortunately, their ignorance and brainwashing is so ingrained that absolutely no logic or reasoning can penetrate it. They'll use the same circular reasoning literally forever. Forget it, Drew...it's Jesustown.
Reply
post #10 of 20
3/16/08 at 5:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Eaton View Post
These threads are getting old.
So are you!
Reply
post #11 of 20
3/17/08 at 2:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthSidious View Post
Whatever you do dont bring up dinosaurs when you talk to these people. Well actually you should cause youll hear some absurd explanations.
Also avoid discussions about "man's best friend".
Reply
post #12 of 20
3/17/08 at 2:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
The best one I ever heard came from a girl on the bus in 9th grade. Somehow the topic of dinsosaurs had come up and she says "I don't believer in dinosaurs. The bible doesn't say anything about them."

To which I reply "Clearly they existed. How do you explain the countless dinsosaur fossils that have been discovered?"

At this point, I thought I'd won. Surely there was no recourse for her. I had facts on my side. Well, that day I learned a valuable lesson. When debating fundies, facts don't mean shit. What happened next broke my mind and left me speechless.

She looked me dead in the eye and said "Oh, those were just put here by Satan to confuse people and lead them away from God."
Your experience is similar to Bill Hicks'.
Reply
post #13 of 20
3/17/08 at 5:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
The best one I ever heard came from a girl on the bus in 9th grade. Somehow the topic of dinsosaurs had come up and she says "I don't believer in dinosaurs. The bible doesn't say anything about them."

To which I reply "Clearly they existed. How do you explain the countless dinsosaur fossils that have been discovered?"

At this point, I thought I'd won. Surely there was no recourse for her. I had facts on my side. Well, that day I learned a valuable lesson. When debating fundies, facts don't mean shit. What happened next broke my mind and left me speechless.

She looked me dead in the eye and said "Oh, those were just put here by Satan to confuse people and lead them away from God."

TKO, motherfucker. I was down for the count. There's no winning an argument with someone like that.

Sure, I could've called her retarded or something, but that stuff rolls off of these people like water off a duck's back.
Hmmm.

9th grade, eh?

Catch this:

INT. CLASSROOM - INTRO TO PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS, 2006

The teacher is giving an example of something-something and he mentiones dinosaurs in the example. He makes a joke about them, we all have a laugh, and then the oldest person in the class (a 28-year-old chick with an 8-year-old daughter) says "Oh, I don't believe in dinosaurs, that's just made up to sell movies and toys and stuff"

Cue entire class falling silent and staring at her, including the professor.

Professor: "You...you don't believe in dinosaurs? Young lady, there's been hundreds of years of study and millions of fossil evidence you can see for yourself in museums--"

Dumb chick: "Oh, that's just to sell tickets! To make people go. I don't believe in that, that Jurassic Park and Godzilla stuff."

Silence. Silence. Silence. Hollllllld, and...

Class continues, decidedly less chipper.
Reply
post #14 of 20
3/17/08 at 7:34am
She has a point. Would you go to a dinosaur museum if they didn't have any dinosaur fossils/exhibits and shit? Would you!?

I certainly wouldn't.

It's a compy-spiracy, I tells ya.
Reply
post #15 of 20
3/17/08 at 8:07am
Count your blessings! If this had been a thread about anything other than making fun of fundamentalists, you'd have been ridiculed for three days straight for not having a point.
Reply
post #16 of 20
3/17/08 at 1:46pm
I'm still trying to figure out how this thread qualifies as political discourse.
Reply
post #17 of 20
3/17/08 at 1:53pm
Don't you get it, Frank! They're trying to take over our government and impose their monkey-hating ways on all of us! Run for your lives!

Which is to say I don't get it, either.
Reply
post #18 of 20
3/17/08 at 1:58pm
"What say you, Mr. Logical Ambassador?"

"Achem!"
*straightens tie*
*stands up*

"FUCK CHURCHIES!"


Reply
post #19 of 20
3/17/08 at 9:27pm
Thread Starter 
Honestly, I just wanted to paint that mental picture of people cuckolding with an Almighty being.
Reply
post #20 of 20
3/17/08 at 10:41pm
It bothers them because it's something that contradicts the bible being taught in schools.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Political Discourse
CHUD.com Community › Forums › POLITICS & RELIGION › Political Discourse › Why does it bother them that we're of apes?