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Man builds robot to kill him

post #1 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:17pm
Thread Starter 
Story here

Now the robots know how to kill us.
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post #2 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:22pm
Well, let's just hope that buzzing, four-legged dog-'bot doesn't find out about this anytime soon.
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post #3 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
Well, let's just hope that buzzing, four-legged dog-'bot doesn't find out about this anytime soon.
However, let's hope that Chantal Sebire does.

EDIT: just checked on that thread - maybe she already did.
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post #4 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:23pm
And so it begins...

They put plans of themselves on the internet, using suicidal octagenerians to bring them into existence one by one. And then, before humanity even realizes what is happening, the armies come marching.
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post #5 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:25pm
And anyway, this totally conflicts with the First Law.
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post #6 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:33pm
Just use a Suicide Booth. Why reinvent the wheel?
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post #7 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Kimbell View Post
And anyway, this totally conflicts with the First Law.
Asimov was naive. He blieved robots weren't evil.
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post #8 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:44pm
I can't help but think this is somehow related.
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post #9 of 50
3/20/08 at 2:57pm
What a show-off. He couldn't have gotten one of his golf foursome to hold a pillow over his face?
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post #10 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:03pm
Wait, this guy wants to kill himself.. owns a loaded gun.. but instead spends hours scouring the internet for the plans to manufacture (and then manufactures) an elaborate driveway-robot to shoot himself in the head?

Pussy.
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post #11 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
Wait, this guy wants to kill himself.. owns a loaded gun.. but instead spends hours scouring the internet for the plans to manufacture (and then manufactures) an elaborate driveway-robot to shoot himself in the head?

Pussy.
I think the idea is that the robot shoots multiple times, just to make sure.
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post #12 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:08pm
You have to feel sorry for suicide-bot. Built and programmed to accomplish one goal, a purpose that is fulfilled immediately upon activation... now what, suicide-bot? After cradling it's deceased creator in it's .22 semi-automatic pistol wielding appendages, I imagine the workmen from next door, responding to the sounds of gunshots, rounding the corner of the house with just enough time to witness suicide-bot putting his pistol hand to his mechanical head and...click,click,click. You only had four bullets, suicide-bot, and you fired all of them into your father. This fucking world...this fucking world...
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post #13 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:11pm
^ Awesome.
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post #14 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:18pm
Or on the same note, the suicide bot can't deal with the pressure of trying to execute it's creator and instead turns the gun on itself *BLAM BLAM*

Ala Bomb Defusor bot in the Simpsons movie

But that was awesome, Phibby
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post #15 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
^ Awesome.
Truly. That's right up there with the saga of Denzo.
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post #16 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sodium View Post
Just use a Suicide Booth. Why reinvent the wheel?
There's no Suicide Booth for Suicide Booth.


Oh the humanity!
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post #17 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron View Post
You have to feel sorry for suicide-bot. Built and programmed to accomplish one goal, a purpose that is fulfilled immediately upon activation... now what, suicide-bot? After cradling it's deceased creator in it's .22 semi-automatic pistol wielding appendages, I imagine the workmen from next door, responding to the sounds of gunshots, rounding the corner of the house with just enough time to witness suicide-bot putting his pistol hand to his mechanical head and...click,click,click. You only had four bullets, suicide-bot, and you fired all of them into your father. This fucking world...this fucking world...
Paging myers87...
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post #18 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:42pm
You really do have to wonder what was going through the worker's minds as they turned the corner to the driveway and saw a man laying in a pool of blood, multiple bullet wounds in his forehead.. and a robot across the driveway with a smoking .22 pistol gripped in it's cold, metallic hand. Dead silence save for the rapid, mechanical clicking of a trigger, the machine unaware it's deadly payload is spent. Wait, is that robot smirking, or frowning?

It would probably mess you up for a while.

(Have we found the website yet?)
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post #19 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:46pm
I didn't find the website, but a search for "Suicide Robot Design" turns up a site with this image:

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post #20 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
I didn't find the website, but a search for "Suicide Robot Design" turns up a site with this image:
Y'know, that's probably it.
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post #21 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:49pm
Oh, that's wonderful.
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post #22 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:54pm
Wow, Sam Waterston was right.
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post #23 of 50
3/20/08 at 3:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
Wait, is that robot smirking, or frowning?

It would probably mess you up for a while.
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post #24 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
There's no Suicide Booth for Suicide Booth.
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post #25 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:31pm


"I am not a gun."

"You are who you choose to be."

"Superman." (sniff)
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post #26 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:34pm
He worked pretty hard on it.

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post #27 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
Wow, Sam Waterston was right.
Awesome.
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post #28 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
That's terrible...

Terribly hilarious.
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post #29 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
This could be the start of suicide booths being created for other suicide booths to infinity. Jesus christ, someone get The Doctor in on this.
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post #30 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
He worked pretty hard on it.
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post #31 of 50
3/20/08 at 4:59pm
Pssh, this is nothing. We have a little thing called The U.S. Army, otherwise known as "THE KILLBOT FACTORY!"
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post #32 of 50
3/20/08 at 5:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
Wow, Sam Waterston was right.
Oh, you don't get just green boxes...



Green presents for you.
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post #33 of 50
3/20/08 at 5:53pm
This is the kind of thread that would produce more green than a Saint Paddy's day parade or a Hillbilly's mouth.
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post #34 of 50
3/20/08 at 6:36pm
Research shows people prefer small talk from robots.

http://technology.newscientist.com/c...ine-news_rss20

So future kill bots will bullshit you before they end your pathetic life.
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post #35 of 50
3/20/08 at 7:48pm
When you think about it, this is really a pretty big "fuck you" to his family. I mean, they thought he was too old and feeble to care for himself so they wanted him in an assisted living facility. I guess he showed them.
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post #36 of 50
3/20/08 at 8:19pm
Yeah, when you put it that way it's kinda badass...
...in that moth balls and gas smell kind of way.
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post #37 of 50
3/20/08 at 8:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe Powers View Post
Yeah, when you put it that way it's kinda badass...
...in that moth balls and gas smell kind of way.
It's still no dying in the middle of fucking a hooker. That's for sure.
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post #38 of 50
3/20/08 at 9:04pm
Whatever happened to the good old days when people would just light themselves on fire?
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post #39 of 50
3/20/08 at 9:08pm
Oh, you can find plans online for that as well:

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post #40 of 50
3/20/08 at 9:37pm
Scorponok?
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post #41 of 50
3/20/08 at 9:42pm
It is not a surprise to me whatsoever that the first place in the world a Suicide Bot of this nature was created was on the Gold Coast.
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post #42 of 50
3/20/08 at 9:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Whatever happened to the good old days when people would just light themselves on fire?
Or build robots for sex?
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post #43 of 50
3/21/08 at 9:36am
The robot look anything like this?

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post #44 of 50
3/21/08 at 12:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams View Post
Or build robots for sex?
Damn straight, there needs to be less killin' and more fuckin'.
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post #45 of 50
3/22/08 at 1:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams View Post
Or build robots for sex?
What if the robots start fucking people to death?
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post #46 of 50
3/22/08 at 2:49am
This thread is why I love you. All of you.
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post #47 of 50
3/23/08 at 10:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter View Post
What if the robots start fucking people to death?
Just like the Orgasmatron in Barbarella.
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post #48 of 50
3/23/08 at 10:10pm
Orgasmatron? I thought that Sleeper?

And god help us if the Anal Intruder ever got sentient.
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post #49 of 50
3/23/08 at 10:13pm
They had it in both movies - I think the machine that the evil scientist Duran Duran (yes, that's where they got their name from) hooks Barbarella up to was also called The Orgasmatron.

Edit - I'm wrong. Duran Duran calls it "The Excessive Machine".
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post #50 of 50
3/23/08 at 10:17pm
My next question I guess would be:

How much cocaine was used in the production Barbarella? I assume at least a metric ton.
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