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Movie my grandmother made me watch this weekend.

post #1 of 65
Thread Starter 
Ladies in Lavender (2004): Dir. by Charles Dance. Starring Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Natascha McElhone, and, god love him, David Warner. Tagline: They saved a stranger from the sea. In return he stole their hearts.

Help.
post #2 of 65
My advice to you, start drinking heavily.
post #3 of 65
You got off easy. My grandmother makes me watch old Yakov Smirnoff videos when I visit.
post #4 of 65
That Charles Dance?
post #5 of 65
Thread Starter 
Yep. Written AND directed. I got sort of excited when his name popped up. My not-so-secret-now shame.
post #6 of 65
Just imagine that David Warner is playing his character from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
post #7 of 65
Time to put Grandma in a home.
post #8 of 65
Holy crap, even the cover of the DVD is enough to drive you to the bottle
post #9 of 65
Or bring her up on assault charges. Which ever.
post #10 of 65
We've already got a thread going for late night Cinemax movies. This belongs there.
post #11 of 65
Thread Starter 
Warner played semi-creepy town doctor who had romantic designs for McElhone's character - a mysterious woman who showed up in town and started painting. She wanted no part. Someone must have Warner.
post #12 of 65
ouch
post #13 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tieman View Post
Holy crap, even the cover of the DVD is enough to put a gun to your head.
*Fixed*
post #14 of 65
I think we can safely blame all of this on leaky canisters of TGRI ooze.
post #15 of 65
Thread Starter 
Guys, don't knock it until you never see it.
post #16 of 65
Be happy you still have a grandmother still kicking around and watching Judy Dench movies.
post #17 of 65
well I admit that's worse than watching my wife flip through Beauty Shop and Sahara last night.
post #18 of 65
This might've been a good candidate for your "Pieces of Movies I've Caught Lately" thread/column, Matchstick.
post #19 of 65
But look, they're wearing floppy hats! It's crazy!

And Benedict directed it. So you always have him to blame for the problem with the floppy hat humor. And bludgeoning your soul with floppy hats.
post #20 of 65
The sequel, LADIES IN THE KOREAN DMZ, is a lot better. There is a pretty good opening scene with Dame Judi abseiling out of a chopper.
post #21 of 65
Also known as:

2 (old) girls, 1 stranger from the sea
post #22 of 65
Why is everyone making fun of my spank material?
post #23 of 65
One summer I was staying with my grandmother and asked her if she had any books I could read, and she gave me a stack of Harlequin Romance novels.

Being bored, I tried to read one. When I finally came to the horrible realization that my grandmother was reading poorly written books that featured pretty explicit sex scenes, I decided to spend a lot more time outside thinking of reasons not to kill myself.
post #24 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by McMeatbag View Post
But look, they're wearing floppy hats! It's crazy!

And Benedict directed it. So you always have him to blame for the problem with the floppy hat humor. And bludgeoning your soul with floppy hats.
Ribaldry! I'll bet they say saucy things too.
post #25 of 65
Hey, I actually paid real money to see this in a theater.
post #26 of 65
Thread Starter 
I wondered if it got a theatrical release. I had honestly never heard of it before that day.

If you guys have any questions about the film, I (or Owen) can answer them.
post #27 of 65
I remember seeing that poster at the theater and thinking that if I directed a movie called Ladies in Lavender, it would be very, very different from this.
post #28 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit View Post
I remember seeing that poster at the theater and thinking that if I directed a movie called Ladies in Lavender, it would be very, very different from this.
I'm thinking something with Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, and a purple sheet.
post #29 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
I'm thinking something with Natalie Portman, Jessica Biel, and a purple sheet.
Sometimes, the simplest concepts wind up with the widest audience...
post #30 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
One summer I was staying with my grandmother and asked her if she had any books I could read, and she gave me a stack of Harlequin Romance novels.
You should have asked if she had any Harlequin romance novels that are more male-oriented.

post #31 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick View Post

If you guys have any questions about the film, I (or Owen) can answer them.
How does Maggie Smith look in lavender? Because the case isn't giving that away.
post #32 of 65
Thread Starter 
Honestly, the movie doesn't really give it away either. The two ladies certainly weren't always dressed in the color lavender. I think they may have grown lavender outside, and milled around in it, but the movie doesn't focus on it. I have no idea where the titular lavender comes from.
post #33 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick View Post
If you guys have any questions about the film, I (or Owen) can answer them.
Is Maggie Smith really THAT much taller than the guy in the lower left hand corner?
post #34 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevin Matchstick View Post
I have no idea where the titular lavender comes from.
Clearly, Judy Dench and Maggie Smith are card-carrying members of the Lavender Menace.
post #35 of 65
Maybe Lavender is a reference to their hearts... Purple hearts... Injured Souls... Etc.

No I haven't seen this movie.
post #36 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
You should have asked if she had any Harlequin romance novels that are more male-oriented.

Wow, it's Brendan's deepest fantasy.
post #37 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Clearly, Judy Dench and Maggie Smith are card-carrying members of the Lavender Menace.
I wish.
post #38 of 65
True story, and on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, but I once made my grandmother watch Naked Lunch. I have no idea why I did this, but fumbling for answers to questions like: "What is he drinking?" and "What is that cockroach doing to that man?" made me realize what a truly poor decision maker I am. I guess I could have just flat out told her he was drinking Mugwump jism and she would have just thought that was some new fizzy drink craze the kids were into in those days, but I just.. couldn't...do it. She did recognize Roy Scheider, though. Even with the tits.
post #39 of 65
Does the DVD come with talcum powder and a dish of hard candies?
post #40 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron View Post
True story, and on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, but I once made my grandmother watch Naked Lunch. I have no idea why I did this, but fumbling for answers to questions like: "What is he drinking?" and "What is that cockroach doing to that man?" made me realize what a truly poor decision maker I am. I guess I could have just flat out told her he was drinking Mugwump jism and she would have just thought that was some new fizzy drink craze the kids were into in those days, but I just.. couldn't...do it. She did recognize Roy Scheider, though. Even with the tits.

I made my grandparents watch Hard Target once. They seemed to like it.
post #41 of 65
Just looked up Naked Lunch on IMDB and I'm wondering how this picture got in there.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2937036288/tt0102511

Edit: Found another.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2903481856/tt0102511
post #42 of 65
By horrible coincidence, my family tried to get me to watch the exact same film with them this last weekend.
It must be contagious.
post #43 of 65
They grew lavender? Too bad this wasn't a Homegrown sequel, starring Maggie Smith and The Dench.

Pomp and circumstance meets drug trafficking. We all win.
post #44 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron View Post
True story, and on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, but I once made my grandmother watch Naked Lunch. I have no idea why I did this, but fumbling for answers to questions like: "What is he drinking?" and "What is that cockroach doing to that man?" made me realize what a truly poor decision maker I am. I guess I could have just flat out told her he was drinking Mugwump jism and she would have just thought that was some new fizzy drink craze the kids were into in those days, but I just.. couldn't...do it. She did recognize Roy Scheider, though. Even with the tits.
Now that's comedy!
post #45 of 65
I made my grandma watch Bubba Ho Tepp. I kinda win.
post #46 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
I made my grandma watch Bubba Ho Tepp. I kinda win.
Did she get the Elvis thing?
post #47 of 65
Yeah, I was just about to ask. Was Elvis that big in South America? Or the comedy of black JFK?
post #48 of 65
Count yourselves lucky that you have moderately accepting grandparents. I tried to get my grandmother to watch Finding Nemo, but she refused after a few minutes because of "those damn black bars at the top and bottom blocking part of the picture"
post #49 of 65
Of all the days for Netflix to be down.
post #50 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raspberry Leper View Post
Of all the days for Netflix to be down.
Not to derail, but does this happen often, and how long does it usually last?
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