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This Guy Managed To Find A Girlfriend

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 32
Equidistant eyes, that's my excuse.
post #3 of 32
His girlfriend said they met online, here she shows us the picture she used to trick him into meeting her the first time.


After that, it was love at first sight...
post #4 of 32
His eye was on something else.
post #5 of 32
I still believe that lady to be an elaborate joke by the Jim Henson Company.
post #6 of 32
She died, you know...
post #7 of 32
Somehow, I'm not surprised.
post #8 of 32
Much like Jim Henson...
post #9 of 32
Thread Starter 
Tips For Approaching Women by Mark Jones:

1. You have to have an "in". A conversation starter. Something to break the ice.




"Works every time."
post #10 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amphibatron View Post
So What's Your Excuse?!
I won't lower my standards enough to nail women who read V.C. Andrews. That's MY goddamn excuse.
post #11 of 32
That's a pretty good doddamn excuse. Am I right fellas?
post #12 of 32
And Amphib.. that is why you are the greatest person, alive or dead, in history.
post #13 of 32
He kinda looks like our former president...

post #14 of 32
I'm kinda glad that the link's to a story of the guy killing his girlfriend. For a moment there I thought that the headline would read something like "Ugly Man Finds Girlfriend!"
post #15 of 32
But the girlfriend was gorgeous! One look at her, and his eyes just popped.
post #16 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
His eye was on something else.
Quoted because this is gold, people, and should not be so quickly forgotten. You'd have gotten a greenie for this, boy howdy.
post #17 of 32
I wonder if he got that way because someone ran him over or beat his ass. That looks like some brick to the face damage.
post #18 of 32
I can't believe it. This guy gets a girlfriend AND KILLS HER? That's it. That was his chance. That was it. He's not going to meet another girl.

"So, Deb, I wanna set you up for this great guy."
"Oh yeah? What's he like?"
"He's got a bulging eye and he served time for vehicular manslaughter."
"Um...nah, that's ok. What about that dentist friend of yours? From the gym?"
"Gay."
"Really? Aw, that's a shame."
"Yeah he was really cute...you sure you don't want to meet that-"
"No, I'm sure."
post #19 of 32
post #20 of 32
post #21 of 32
It doesn't explicitly say that his girlfriend wasn't also his sister, so until I hear otherwise that's the angle I'm going with.
post #22 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post

"So, Deb..."
Was that directed at me, young man?
post #23 of 32
We know you're on the market, is all..
post #24 of 32
No, but now that I think about it, I know a guy with flipper hands who served time for grand theft auto that would be PERFECT for you.
post #25 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
I never realised Admiral Akbar had such prominent nips.
post #26 of 32
post #27 of 32
post #28 of 32
That guy doesn't look good, he doesn't look good either.
post #29 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
No, but now that I think about it, I know a guy with flipper hands who served time for grand theft auto that would be PERFECT for you.
Ooooh, Deb, flipper hands! Always good for "a little flap and tickle", eh, eh?

(And if you don't hit it off with him, y'know... give him my number.)
post #30 of 32


Because somebody was going to do this eventually.
post #31 of 32
I was on the fence about Slater's "Dead Horses" argument... Until this very moment.
post #32 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
She died, you know...
All right...who is the poor woman?
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