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Leave Uwe Boll Alone!

post #1 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:17pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/14...ONE/Page1.html
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post #2 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:25pm
Oh shut it, I'm signing the damned thing.

There should be better directors navigating through german tax cut loops.
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post #3 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:27pm
1. There is no valid reason for this article to exist.

2. You actually took time out of your life to defend Uwe Boll, at least on some level. Next time you try to snidely rag on someone for working in a cublicle, you should remember this momemt. Then do the world a favor and throw yourself in front of a train.
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post #4 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:32pm
As much as I appreciate your defence of him trying to be lighthearted in the face of his criticism - The reason Boll should stop, as opposed to the likes of Ed Wood, is that Ed Wood loved film - he just didn't know how to make one.

Boll just likes making money.
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post #5 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:40pm
If Boll wants to continue, let him. I'd rather watch House of the Dead with friends, some beverages and pizza than ever sit through either Epic Movie or Date Movie again.

Boll does a better job of making me laugh than Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer ever could. Yet, no petition for them?
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post #6 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:44pm
Is this THE definition of a bait article?
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post #7 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:47pm
Just replace every mention of Boll's name to Devin Faraci, and the article makes even more sense. No wonder Devin identifies with him so much, both work better as punchlines than contributing members of the film community.

Also, let's be serious. Yes Ed Wood's work is laughably bad, but Boll's films are SO bad, that they aren't even entertaining in an ironic fashion. I mean, have you SEEN Alone in The Dark???
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post #8 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iron Maiden View Post
If Boll wants to continue, let him. I'd rather watch House of the Dead with friends, some beverages and pizza than ever sit through either Epic Movie or Date Movie again.

Boll does a better job of making me laugh than Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer ever could. Yet, no petition for them?

Epic Movie and Date movie while really bad are trying to be bad, and I can't imagine that Boll is trying to make a bad movie(or at least I hope not)..I think the biggest problem Boll faces is that the movies hes making are based off of properties some people either love or have great nastalgia for.
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post #9 of 87
4/6/08 at 5:58pm
I'm shocked that not everyone has Devin's perspective towards Boll these days. Why still hate this man? What reason could you possibly have?
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post #10 of 87
4/6/08 at 6:08pm
I hate Uwe Boll because he hates me back.

To his credit, nobody makes better homebrew-MST3K material.
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post #11 of 87
4/6/08 at 6:18pm
The reason he should be hated is the reason the Epic Movie guys should be hated as well- their continuing careers in the film industry means the money and work going into their films isn't going towards legitimate filmmakers who want to make great movies (or awesome trash, which is just as valid). Every well-funded movies one of these guys makes means one less well-funded movie for a more deserving filmmaker. Shut 'em down, boys!
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post #12 of 87
4/6/08 at 6:19pm
A group of friends and I went to see House of the Dead (twice!) because we ran across a Fangoria article and knew it was going to be awesomely terrible, and we were right.
In fact, it's such a gloriously shitty non-accomplishment that I've pretty much stayed away from the rest of Boll's oeuvre since then, because frankly, there's nothing quite like your first time.
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post #13 of 87
4/6/08 at 6:53pm
Let him keep going. There must be a place in film history for someone that is so utterly incapable of making anything even close to not completely sucking. Give him a few years and we can look forward to the most glorious dvd box set ever.
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post #14 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:06pm
Water is wet, Boll is a bad director. As Devin said he now revels in the attention, so it's best to just ignore him. It's not like his films do well at the box office. Meet the Spartans did do well. Therein lies the difference between activism (if it can be done) and annoyance. Y'all know more and have likely seen more Uwe Boll pictures than Bong Joon-Ho, or Wong Kar-Wai. Shit, you're much better off watching the filmography of Jack Sholder (and I mean that) or William Girdler. At this point paying attention to him gives him what he wants.
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post #15 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:14pm
Quote:
I implore you not to sign this petition! Dr. Boll is one of the shining lights of the genre world right now, a guy who is more fun to read about than his terrible, terrible movies.
I thought this line in particular highlighted this piece as mostly just satire.

Obviously no one actually wants him to continue making movies. But that anyone cares so much is more of an indictment on his critics than Boll himself.
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post #16 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin View Post
The reason he should be hated is the reason the Epic Movie guys should be hated as well- their continuing careers in the film industry means the money and work going into their films isn't going towards legitimate filmmakers who want to make great movies (or awesome trash, which is just as valid). Every well-funded movies one of these guys makes means one less well-funded movie for a more deserving filmmaker. Shut 'em down, boys!
Bingo, Bango! And i'm one of those filmmakers.
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post #17 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnotaur3 View Post
Bingo, Bango! And i'm one of those filmmakers.
Yeah, I'm sure Uwe Boll is holding you back. This argument betrays a fundamental lack of understanding of film financing.
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post #18 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:51pm
You can't actually make the "he steals money and resources from better filmmakers" argument, because he finances his movies himself. He's pretty much an indie guy. I mean, technically, OK, he's "taking up space" in the film industry, but only in the loosest sense. It's not like, if he disappeared, some brilliant filmmaker would pop up to fill the gap. He's self-motivated and affects only himself.

He does come off as a dick in interviews, but that's hardly a reason to devote yourself to his destruction. Honestly, I'd rather sign a petition against the many horrible mainstream filmmakers who are grinding out blockbuster crap. Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers, for instance.
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post #19 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:52pm
Hey, as long as the Germans are spending their money on something... you know, besides... well, whatever they spend money on. Right?
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post #20 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin View Post
The reason he should be hated is the reason the Epic Movie guys should be hated as well- their continuing careers in the film industry means the money and work going into their films isn't going towards legitimate filmmakers who want to make great movies (or awesome trash, which is just as valid). Every well-funded movies one of these guys makes means one less well-funded movie for a more deserving filmmaker. Shut 'em down, boys!
Wouldn't that negative energy be best preserved for the people that fund him? With or without a tax shelter, it's not like the man ever cheated his way into anyone's pockets. Hell, he had a fairly achieved group of actors in Dungeon Siege, and like the suits that funded him, I'm sure not a one of them gave a shit about his "legitimacy".

It's just the name of the game; bemoaning recyclable heels like Uwe Boll because "true" filmmaker "X" can't get his project off the ground sounds like sour grapes.
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post #21 of 87
4/6/08 at 7:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
1. There is no valid reason for this article to exist.

2. You actually took time out of your life to defend Uwe Boll, at least on some level. Next time you try to snidely rag on someone for working in a cublicle, you should remember this momemt. Then do the world a favor and throw yourself in front of a train.
I don't know. I just checked out your IMDB page and there's nothing impressive there.
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post #22 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:10pm
People who work in "cublicles" suck.
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post #23 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:14pm
Y'all should watch BLOODRAYNE stat.
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post #24 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
Yeah, I'm sure Uwe Boll is holding you back. This argument betrays a fundamental lack of understanding of film financing.
100% correct.

Does anyone think Boll is really going to honor his promise if they get a million signatures?
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post #25 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prankster View Post
Michael Bay and Stephen Sommers, for instance.
Next time, pick directors who've yet to make a good movie. Like Tyler Perry or McG or Andrzej Bartkowiak.
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post #26 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquafresh View Post
100% correct.

Does anyone think Boll is really going to honor his promise if they get a million signatures?
He may well do - that German tax loophole has been sealed up. The projects he has in the pipeline are his last ones funded by that.

Anything after that is voluntarily funded for artistic reasons.

Christ. I'd use the petition as an escape route.
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post #27 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:47pm
He did indeed harm the German film industry.
The money he took from tax loophole shelter funds would've - in part at least - flown into other projects.
The main bulk probably into another Cruise extra-vaganza or a Tomb Raider sequel but maybe 1 or 2 "Life of the others" could have emerged.
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post #28 of 87
4/6/08 at 8:48pm
Tons of idiots are going to sign this petition repeatedly under false names. They may eventually get it to one million. And Boll will do nothing. I agree with what Devin is saying here, especially the point that if you give a shit that the Far Cry adaptation might be less than good, I just can't sympathize with you.
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post #29 of 87
4/7/08 at 2:39am
I fail to see why people get so upset about Boll's movies. They're all going straight to DVD, so they're not bumping your favorites out of the multiplex. They're based on source material you shouldn't reasonably expect to be any good anyway. I've never seen one of his movies; they're not that hard to avoid if you're not interested. Compared to the aforementioned ____ Movie franchise, Boll's kind of a nonentity.
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post #30 of 87
4/7/08 at 3:33am
They're not straight to dvd- I think Bloodrayne 2 was the only one of his not to get a wide theatrical release. Postal's opening up against Indiana Jones, actually. The only film to do so.
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post #31 of 87
4/7/08 at 3:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
Postal's opening up against Indiana Jones, actually. The only film to do so.
Talk about counter-programming. That's kind of awesome, actually.
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post #32 of 87
4/7/08 at 4:08am
OK, well, I've still managed to avoid and ignore his movies, even if they do get theatrical releases. Maybe I'm just getting too old for the kind of passionate rage fanboys have.
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post #33 of 87
4/7/08 at 4:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Talk about counter-programming. That's kind of awesome, actually.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ePGkrn03Fzw
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post #34 of 87
4/7/08 at 5:02am
I love Uwe Boll. I watched House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne and Bloodrayne 2 back to back a few weeks ago. It was fun. I believe House of the Dead is Boll's masterpiece and it will go down in history as one of the great bad movies along with such titles as Robot Monster, Manos and Plan 9.
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post #35 of 87
4/7/08 at 6:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
Poor Verne and his poor whip skills. I don't want to know what is in that bag.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timo View Post
I love Uwe Boll. I watched House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne and Bloodrayne 2 back to back a few weeks ago. It was fun. I believe House of the Dead is Boll's masterpiece and it will go down in history as one of the great bad movies along with such titles as Robot Monster, Manos and Plan 9.
You are a stronger man than I. I had actually planned to do a 3 part blog series on Boll's first three American films(HotD was his first, right?), but by Bloodrayne I just didn't even know what to say anymore, so I aborted the whole idea.
House of the Dead has enough moments for the "so bad it's good" thing, but his films have gotten increasingly mediocre(while still being incompetent in most respects). Mediocrity is just no fun at all, and the unintentional laughs ran out somewhere early on in Alone in the Dark, only to be replaced by utter boredom.
I'm glad they were all free rentals, I'll say that much.

I do have some strange morbid desire to see Postal, but other than that I'll be perfectly happy to pretend Boll simply doesn't exist.
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post #36 of 87
4/7/08 at 6:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
You are a stronger man than I. I had actually planned to do a 3 part blog series on Boll's first three American films(HotD was his first, right?), but by Bloodrayne I just didn't even know what to say anymore, so I aborted the whole idea.
House of the Dead has enough moments for the "so bad it's good" thing, but his films have gotten increasingly mediocre(while still being incompetent in most respects). Mediocrity is just no fun at all, and the unintentional laughs ran out somewhere early on in Alone in the Dark, only to be replaced by utter boredom.
That's how I feel about his films too. His films have gotten increasingly boring. The only bright spots in Bloodrayne were the few entertaining performances (Meat Loaf, Billy Zane). Bloodrayne 2 is completely worhtless. I'm looking forward to Tunnel Rats just to see what a serious Boll film looks like, but I'm guessing it'll turn out to be his most boring film yet.
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post #37 of 87
4/7/08 at 10:44am
Quote:
You can't actually make the "he steals money and resources from better filmmakers" argument, because he finances his movies himself. He's pretty much an indie guy. I mean, technically, OK, he's "taking up space" in the film industry, but only in the loosest sense. It's not like, if he disappeared, some brilliant filmmaker would pop up to fill the gap. He's self-motivated and affects only himself.
Which demands some level of respect, really.
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post #38 of 87
4/7/08 at 10:46am
Who's usually his DP and screenwriters? Maybe if we suggest some alternative 'talent' to surround him, maybe he'll learn something.
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post #39 of 87
4/7/08 at 10:59am
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cGhu9FvigB0&feature=related

His explanation, surprisingly, makes sense.
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post #40 of 87
4/7/08 at 11:14am
"Tales of Narnia or Street Racer", he's kind of adorable.
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post #41 of 87
4/7/08 at 11:15am
His english got a lot better. He's growing up!
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post #42 of 87
4/7/08 at 1:22pm
I admit to straight up admiring the man as a financier. Yeah, he had a German tax loophole working for him but who else exploited that loophole so well. Do I wish a better filmmaker did so? Sure. Hell, I wish I could have exploited it in some way but I'd like to think that anything I make would make money (or at least break even) so there's no way I would have tried.

But here's the big thing that bugs me about the Boll hate (and Dre mentioned it earlier). More people have watched his horrible, shitty movies with the excuse that they are so bad it's good or because they want to see how bad he can fuck up this time or whatever excuse you want to use then have watched legitimately good movies that are under seen or under appreciated. If you hate his shit so much stop watching it, go to your local video store and pick up something good that you missed at the theatre.

You don't get to bitch about his continued existence if you keep giving him a reason to exist.
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post #43 of 87
4/7/08 at 1:24pm
Devin, why be so nice all of a sudden? Did you learn your lesson from the Fox fiasco?
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post #44 of 87
4/7/08 at 1:25pm
He's doing this on purpose guys. Trying to divide and conquer.
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post #45 of 87
4/7/08 at 1:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
I admit to straight up admiring the man as a financier. Yeah, he had a German tax loophole working for him but who else exploited that loophole so well. Do I wish a better filmmaker did so? Sure. Hell, I wish I could have exploited it in some way but I'd like to think that anything I make would make money (or at least break even) so there's no way I would have tried.

But here's the big thing that bugs me about the Boll hate (and Dre mentioned it earlier). More people have watched his horrible, shitty movies with the excuse that they are so bad it's good or because they want to see how bad he can fuck up this time or whatever excuse you want to use then have watched legitimately good movies that are under seen or under appreciated. If you hate his shit so much stop watching it, go to your local video store and pick up something good that you missed at the theatre.

You don't get to bitch about his continued existence if you keep giving him a reason to exist.
What if people saw his movies without paying?
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post #46 of 87
4/7/08 at 1:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LatinoInferno View Post
What if people saw his movies without paying?
It's not about the money. The bastard exists to lose money, thats what this whole tax thing was about.

The ironic thing is - the only real way to bring him down is to pay to see his films - then when they somehow generate a profit, he doesn't benefit from the tax loophole.

He's unstoppable.
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post #47 of 87
4/7/08 at 2:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
It's not about the money. The bastard exists to lose money, thats what this whole tax thing was about.

The ironic thing is - the only real way to bring him down is to pay to see his films - then when they somehow generate a profit, he doesn't benefit from the tax loophole.

He's unstoppable.
Well, no, he's quite stoppable now that the tax loophole has closed. The only thing is he may be able to finance a couple of films because people recognize his name but that won't last long.
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post #48 of 87
4/7/08 at 2:14pm
He's got films in production well into 2010. We're not looking at an end anytime soon though.
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post #49 of 87
4/7/08 at 2:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
Well, no, he's quite stoppable now that the tax loophole has closed. The only thing is he may be able to finance a couple of films because people recognize his name but that won't last long.
I've got bad news for you, globally, his movies are making money. So, it's a guaranteed win with Uwe.
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post #50 of 87
4/7/08 at 3:25pm
I say sign it. Not that I'm a rabid Boll hater (I'd rather dig the grave of the Epic Movie makers). No instead, this would be the magnum opus of his career. He's no longer about making movies or money. This has become about how much infamy he can gain. He's the Ty Cobb of filmmakers. If they could really get 1 million people to sign that pledge, there's a place in film history for Uwe Boll. Not a great place, but a memorable one. And we can help. For all that he's given us, we owe it to him.
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