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Don't ever get between a man and his video games.

post #1 of 33
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 33
He needs to be castrated, chopped and fed to snakes.
post #3 of 33
Wii Sports gone horribly wrong.
post #4 of 33
Thread Starter 
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right *THUMP THUMP*, select, start.
post #5 of 33
I was trying to figure out what kind of controller it must've been. I think the wii mote is the only one heavy enough to cause any damage...
post #6 of 33
The Wiimote is heavier than the 360 controller? I think not.
post #7 of 33
You can never go wrong with a classic - I've found the old Atari joysticks are just perfect for clubbing baby seals. Could be they work just as well on toddlers.
post #8 of 33
Has to be a 360 controller. A Wiimote + nunchuck could maybe cause some bruising, knock a few teeth out if you know what you're doing. But Microsofts' pad is the only one with the mass to cause any real body damage.

No I'm not an Xbox shill.
post #9 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Spunkmeyer View Post
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right *THUMP THUMP*, select, start.

If he'd have used that code, the little girl might still be with us. But noooo, no two players for her. Selfish fuck.
post #10 of 33
No kill-screen jokes? You guys are lame.
post #11 of 33
I can understand where he's coming from. Sometimes when I'm playing, my kids bug me or get in the way, so I just sweep their legs and when the back of their heads hits the ground, it calms them down for a few hours.
post #12 of 33
Fatality!
post #13 of 33
This story is just terrible. I hope they lived near a spawn point at least.
post #14 of 33
Has to be a 360 controller. The PS3 ones are too flimsy and Wii's are only good for garroting not bludgeoning.
post #15 of 33
I vote Dreamcast.

........what?
post #16 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
He needs to be castrated, chopped and fed to snakes.
I hope when he gets off The Hell Express, there are lots of really BIG guys there, engrossed in their video games, and that they all have game controllers the size of telephone poles. And that he has to cross in front of them in order to get to the Hell check-in desk.
post #17 of 33
I think it must have been the original Xbox "Duke" controller. I've killed several toddlers with the thing and I heartily recommend it. It's way easy to clean, too.

In all seriousness though, the guy who did this needs to be raped in prison by someone named Duke.
post #18 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Has to be a 360 controller. The PS3 ones are too flimsy and Wii's are only good for garroting not bludgeoning.
I'm so sick of you 360 fanboys.
post #19 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beageal View Post
I'm so sick of you 360 fanboys.
The PS3 may be a better value, especially with the HD war settled, but when it comes to bludgeoning toddlers it can't hold a candle to the 360.
post #20 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
This story is just terrible. I hope they lived near a spawn point at least.
Haha!

Maybe it was an old NES controller? They had sharp corners...
post #21 of 33
This was long-overdue. What do you expect when you name and fashion your video game controller after a deadly martial arts weapon?



Wonder if he atleast did the Bruce Lee nose flick after..
post #22 of 33
post #23 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
I think it must have been the original Xbox "Duke" controller. I've killed several toddlers with the thing and I heartily recommend it. It's way easy to clean, too.

In all seriousness though, the guy who did this needs to be raped in prison by someone named Duke.
Duke Rapem?
post #24 of 33
Musta been playing the RC Plane level.
post #25 of 33
Perhaps he simply reprogrammed one of the old NES Robbie the Robots from standard "Gyromite" action to "Crush, Kill, Destroy".
post #26 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyRoommateFloyd View Post
Duke Rapem?
That's the guy. Don't forget the 3D at the end of his name though, he hates that.
post #27 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe Powers View Post
I was trying to figure out what kind of controller it must've been. I think the wii mote is the only one heavy enough to cause any damage...
Not when the remote's been attached to a baseball bat for total accuracy.

Bastard will pay.
post #28 of 33
but only in Wii-bucks. I can't wait till minor-killer shows up on download screen.
post #29 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I hope when he gets off The Hell Express, there are lots of really BIG guys there, engrossed in their video games, and that they all have game controllers the size of telephone poles. And that he has to cross in front of them in order to get to the Hell check-in desk.
I'm sure the daily anal raping in prison will be a suitable substitute should it turn out that hell doesn't exist.
post #30 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySeeds View Post
Musta been playing the RC Plane level.
I laughed hard enough at that to make me pray that hell really doesn't exist because if it is I'm fucked.
post #31 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jakespeare View Post
I laughed hard enough at that to make me pray that hell really doesn't exist because if it is I'm fucked.
You, me, and the San Andreas crew all, brother.
post #32 of 33
Awaits shameless media fucks using this an example of video games causing violent behavior in 3,2,1.....Seriously how the hell is this even news? I mean the story says this prick had abused the little girl in the past it's just this time he chose a console controller as a weapon. May he be hung from his balls in prison.


(Now that I have stepped off my soapbox, I've found the Nintendo 64 controller an effective killing tool for all ages.)
post #33 of 33
Imagine the N64 controller with sharpened edges, and you have a brand new ninja weapon.

That thing was meant for toddler destruction.
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