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Man charged after teen bashed with hedgehog

post #1 of 20
4/9/08 at 3:46pm
Thread Starter 
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Quote:
pril 09, 2008 02:00am
Article from: The Daily Telegraph

A MAN has been charged with assaulting a teenage boy by throwing a hedgehog at him.

Police said William Singalargh, 27, from Whakatane, in New Zealand's North Island, allegedly picked up the hedgehog and threw it about 5m at the 15 year old.

"It hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks," Senior Sergeant Bruce Jenkins said.

"The man was arrested shortly afterwards for assault with a weapon, namely the hedgehog."

It was not known whether the hedgehog was dead or alive when thrown on February 19, but it was dead when collected as evidence.

Mr Singalargh is due in court this month.
If the hedgehog was alive when he threw it, does that mean more jail time?
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post #2 of 20
4/9/08 at 3:53pm
I hope he collected any rings the boy had on his fingers.

That's all I got. Sorry.
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post #3 of 20
4/9/08 at 3:54pm
The police report stated that the hedgehog could really move and had an attitude.
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post #4 of 20
4/9/08 at 3:54pm
That article neglects to mention the so-called "victim" is infact the nefarious Doctor Robotnik.
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post #5 of 20
4/9/08 at 3:57pm
The police wanted to notify any associates of the hedgehog of his death but could find neither head nor Tails of them.
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post #6 of 20
4/9/08 at 4:08pm
Irony of the story? The incident occured outside the neighborhood Sonic. Kid just wanted to grab a bite to eat.
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post #7 of 20
4/9/08 at 4:31pm
Fortunately no one else was hurt by the blast processing.
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post #8 of 20
4/9/08 at 4:34pm
Was there a pissed looking Echidna and a two-tailed fox nearby wondering when in the hell was it going to be their turn?
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post #9 of 20
4/9/08 at 5:36pm
INT - Sega Corporation Headquarters - Morning

Two executives have their morning coffee and danishes on a conference table while browsing the newspaper. One of them suddenly sits upright, spitting out a little of his coffee.

Bruce: Hey, Steve, weren't you just talking to that guy in the New Zealand office yesterday? The one who took all that personal time recently?

Steve: Yeah, so what?

Bruce: What was that all about again?

Steve: They're in charge of R&D for our next Sonic project, and I was reminding him we have to top Nintendo's Wii-mote system. Weren't you there?

Bruce: (still examining newspaper) Do you remember exactly what you told him?

Steve: I think I told him that it had to be offer even more interactivity than the Wii.

Bruce: Your exact words.

Steve: "It has to feel like you're actually controlling the hedgehog's movement with your hands." What's this all about?

Bruce: (squinting at the bottom of the page) And what about the last part?

Steve: What are y-....Oh, yeah, I told him it had to be aimed squarely at teenagers....Why?
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post #10 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
INT - Sega Corporation Headquarters - Morning

Two executives have their morning coffee and danishes on a conference table while browsing the newspaper. One of them suddenly sits upright, spitting out a little of his coffee.

Bruce: Hey, Steve, weren't you just talking to that guy in the New Zealand office yesterday? The one who took all that personal time recently?

Steve: Yeah, so what?

Bruce: What was that all about again?

Steve: They're in charge of R&D for our next Sonic project, and I was reminding him we have to top Nintendo's Wii-mote system. Weren't you there?

Bruce: (still examining newspaper) Do you remember exactly what you told him?

Steve: I think I told him that it had to be offer even more interactivity than the Wii.

Bruce: Your exact words.

Steve: "It has to feel like you're actually controlling the hedgehog's movement with your hands." What's this all about?

Bruce: (squinting at the bottom of the page) And what about the last part?

Steve: What are y-....Oh, yeah, I told him it had to aimed squarely at teenagers....Why?
I'd sig that whole thing if I could.
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post #11 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
That article neglects to mention the so-called "victim" is infact the nefarious Doctor Robotnik.
Honestly, I find it ridiculously implausible that a 15-year old could have obtained a Doctorate, and I'd neg-rep you if I could.
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post #12 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The LD View Post
Honestly, I find it ridiculously implausible that a 15-year old could have obtained a Doctorate, and I'd neg-rep you if I could.
Even if the 15 year old was leeVSbenway? He WAS reading Kafka by age 9, you know..
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post #13 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:50pm
Touche!
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post #14 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
Even if the 15 year old was leeVSbenway? He WAS reading Kafka by age 9, you know..
Oh yeah, well I read The Jungle at 12. Did I understand it? Not really. But I read it!
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post #15 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:53pm
<Sonic the Hedgehog-related joke.>
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post #16 of 20
4/9/08 at 6:54pm
But Kafka never wrote about the existential terror of having a crazed Kiwi hurling dead hedgehogs at you in the midst of the painful metamorphosis that is postmodern adolescence.

Shit, he probably did, didn't he?
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post #17 of 20
4/9/08 at 7:19pm
Except the hedgehog was replaced by a giant, immensely strong father figure. With spines.
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post #18 of 20
4/9/08 at 7:40pm
Watch.. they'll outlaw hedgehogs next, and only outlaws will have hedgehogs.



"FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!"
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post #19 of 20
4/9/08 at 8:19pm

Inconsolable at the news.
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post #20 of 20
4/9/08 at 8:33pm
Nope, dreds aren't long enough, doesn't look pissed and there doesn't appear to be spikes on his knuckles. FAIL!
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