Behold the spider-cricket - Page 3

I live in the centre of one of the biggest cities in Australia (soon to become the biggest) and yet in my backyard I get some of the nastiest little fuckers my country can prooduce (I also find the little spiders creepier than the biggies); The mighty Redback:



Heres one dragging a lizard to its web:



Me no rikey.

God made those the days he was really pissed, I bet.

Ignorant question, but how's that so close to a black widow and not a black widow?

Eviloution.

I think every day that we still have Rain Dog here to post with us is a day we can be thankful for. It's a well known fact that Australia is chock-full of shit that can kill you in seconds. Each day that he posts is another day we know he hasn't been filled with toxins and eaten.

Amphibatron, holy shit.
If I wasn´t scared shitless by spiders already I would be now. What the fuck is that even supposed to display? Exept sheer horror that is.

Fucking Christ. Wake up hungover and this is the first thing I see. I just plain need to die.

I love living in Wisconsin. The cold weather kills everything before it can kill me. The worst things we get are bees. The entire American South and continent of Australia is populated by madmen/women.

Oh, and Amphibatron? I kept thinking of that while I was trying to sleep last night. Fuck you.

Dammit, Amphibatron, I can't unsee that shit.

Found these on Google...

....why do I keep coming back?

That's not a bug.

Fuck that shit.

Aah! This thread is like an ex-girlfriend I keep coming back to after we had a huge fight. Why do I subject myself to this? Why? Why?!?!

I thought I was the one that came up with the name "spider cricket". I used to get those fuckers in my apartment all the time. They'd come out of the bath tub drain, baby-sized, and they'd get bigger and bigger over the course of the summer. At first, I thought they were weird and, like some one said, kinda cute. But they became a goddamn infestation. I went from escorting them out politely, to killing them with extreme prejudice.

But that's a trip. Oh, and not to be left out. Mayfly larvae....

this thread is fucking HILARIOUS. I'm so glad I checked it out.

The original spider-cricket thing that started it all is called a Cave-cricket. And here's my story:

My brother-in-law and I were working on my house. We had to insulate my crawlspace. There was, oh, about 2 feet of space between the ground and the floor. So, basically, not much room to shift around. I covered myself up as best I could, but my neck and face were exposed (despite glasses and a breathing mask.)

Now, I am not deathly afraid of spiders or bugs. However, when I was 14 I was sitting in my room and a little spider fell onto my metallica sheet music (I was rocking out). I squashed him. The next day I was rocking out again (I just HAD to perfect my one man rendition of "One"). Another one came down.

And another.

I looked up. THEY COVERED MY CEILING. THEY WERE THERE YESTERDAY!!!! They were there whilst I slept. gwaaaahhhhhh!!!

I ran out of my room screaming like a little girl. I still get freaked out when a spider "surprises" me. But if I notice it, I usually collect the poor little guy or girl and toss him outside to devour the delicious mosquitoes. I even have a glass and a piece of junkmail dedicated to this task.

Anyway -- that's just backstory.

I climbed into the crawlspace and turned over to face the floor. I moved out of the way so my brother-in-law could get in. I turned on my flashlight. And I saw these:



Although, what I actually saw was more like this



I quickly shrieked and scurried out of the crawlspace yelling: "Space crickets!"

There were probably 100 of them living under there. All sizes. With their beady little eyes and slow moving, really long antennae. They can jump pretty far (a few leapt around my feet when I was trying to get out). If even one had jumped on my face, I would be writing this from a mental institution.

I managed to get a picture by simply jamming my camera in the crawlspace and pressing the button. From that point on, I made sure all of my skin was covered. I was convinced that the "stinger" would poison me instantly. But apparently they just inject their eggs into dirt with them. But the idea that they might inject their eggs in me is still kinda there in my mind.

On a lighter note, these things come up from my basement alot as well. My dog likes to chase them, but they can jump so far that she never catches them.

Yeah, in high school biology every student had to create an insect collection. We all had to collect around 50 bugs, freeze them to death, then pin and label them. One day I came in with a cave cricket. The rest of the class freaked and wanted to know where I found it. I explained that they lived under my house. Next thing I know, I'm Cave Cricket Bounty Hunter, capturing cave crickets for fun and profit. Well, profit. Going into that crawlspace and getting covered in cave crickets wasn't much fun. I knew they were harmless, but it was still pretty freakin' creepy.

Now scorpions, those suckers are nasty. I've been stung by scorpions twice. They are common in North Georgia. The first time I was stung, I was putting my shoes on, sans socks, and felt a sharp pain in my toe. I shook my shoe and this thing popped out of it:

Picture under cut, it was too huge to post here.

I squished it with the shoe. Then about two dozen tiny BABY versions of that thing scurried from under the squished scorpion. Some nights I still wake up screaming.

The second time was worse, in a way. I was stung in bed. Scorpion stung my leg while I was sleeping under the covers. That's against the law! You're supposed to be SAFE under the covers!!!

For the record, the stings felt a little worse than a wasp sting. I hear that a hornet sting is worse, but hornets are one of the few stingers living in Georgia that I've yet to get hit by, so I have no idea if that's true.

Why does that girl look curiously amused? Why doesn't she look terrified? Why isn's she running and screaming in horror? I don't get it.

I'm not a terribly religious man, but I do happen to think Scorpions are God's way of telling us He'll get us whenever he wants, and in some of the most terrifying ways possible.

How right you are, but not in the way you think:



They're here, and they're going to rock you like a motherfucking hurricane for your sins!

'Cause it's FUZZY!

That pic of the camel spider would be kinda cute if it weren't for the claw/mouth/beak thing that would rip your heart right out of your chest.

As someone who is terrified to the utmost extreme of spiders (and generally everything that crawls), this thread is invading my nightmares. Especially Amphibitron's contribution. Seriously. I'm goin buggy just trying NOT to think of it.

Talked about this beastie in a Creature-Corner thread, but behold, the Dinosaur Shrimp (AKA Triops). You can even raise them like Sea Monkeys:

This thread is fuck my life.

I'm going to have a serious case of the heebie jeebies for a week, and I posted the damn camel spider! It only got worse since then, and all the stories? Ugh. You mother fucks. I now welcome my -40 winters with open arms.. yes.. genocide to the canadian arachnid population! Learn my name well, for it is the chilling sound of your doom!

It's a tattoo!

Alright, now that is a cool tattoo. Wouldn't want to get it on me, but that's very awesome.

Nice work. I always figured that if I ever got a tattoo it would be of a spider. Always liked them creepy motherfuckers.

Mark my words - by getting that tattoo, that man has drastically reduced the amount of play he will be getting from the fairer sex. Can you imagine rolling over in the middle of the night and seeing that staring back at you?

::crawlies::

Fuck you. And fuck this thread.

Spiders suck.

You see what happens when you pour expired formaldehyde down the drain? Do you see!?

No. You suck. Spiders are awesome.

Awwww he's so...wait


...nope, still horrifying.

OKAY. NEW RULE.

ONLY. REAL. BUGS.

Or maybe I could, you know, stop coming in here...

It's so cuterrifying, I'm not even sure why I'm crying.

Schwartz, my custom user text goes out to you, baby.

Suits you nicely, Z.

Yeah, this is what I've been told...

This thread really is a drug, everytime I come in here I'm singing Metallica ("Hold my breath as I wish for death, Oh God help me!" for the record) but do I ever stop? Nope.

That dinosaur shrimp thing can go to hell though.

*Bump*
Saw this on Fark, thought immediately of this thread. Behold, the Clock Spider*:


It's actually a Huntsman Spider, though Wikipedias claim that it is not dangerous sounds like a load of hooey to me...

*Apparently this specimen was found behind someone's clock initially, with a couple of legs peeking out...

I wish there was some scale to these picks like the one with a coconut crab.

Next time, try to put something in the pic to help us see how big the thing is...like a Hummer in its slavering jaws.

That's a screw next to it, which gives us some idea, I think.

I am physically incapable of not coming in this thread. Jesus.

Enjoy the nightmare you just ASKED for:

In SoCa we have two breeds of scorpions that us to kill hundreds of people a year in the south west and Mexico every year before they came up with anti-venoms. We got all kinds of nasties here. The other day I was walking my Chihuahua at in wild life reserve below my house. There was a a big ass snake across the path with a strangely blunted tail. Couldn't see it head so I could not tell if it was a gofer snake or a rattler who lost his rattle. So I just picked up the dog, and waited for it to movie off the trail. Rattle snakes are good eating, and easy to hunt if you are hunger though.

Yeah, that's sledgehammer time, and screw the security deposit. Maybe a flaming arrow to soften it up first. Or a grenade.

Why did I just read through this whole thread?

I'm horribly arachnophobic (when I was younger and sleeping on a top bunk, there were two years in a row where I woke up during a January night to find baby spiders all over my ceiling and myself....instant trauma), and each and every picture of a spider crawling on someone -- especially the one by the eye -- is making me squirm and freak out.

My friends still tease me about the time we were all sitting around and there was this spider crawling on the ceiling. In circles. Big fucking circles, around the whole damned room. I moved my chair back and just watched it, afraid that if I took my eyes off it it would end up on my body in the next half second. Motherfucker.

And earlier today in my office, my coworker pointed out a spider chilling by some boxes that I have to deal with. I stared for awhile in horror before I found the courage to grab a large box to drop on the thing. And then it ran across the floor still alive. So with more bravado than I normally have for the things I stepped on it. Big mistake. I know the things, dead, I saw its guts...but I'm still getting the heebie jeebies because my brain is telling me that maybe it's still alive and it went from my shoe to up my legs. I keep feeling it crawl all over me....

Yeah, the size of the spider or how deadly its venom is doesn't freak me out. Its the idea of those legs crawling on my skin.

Spiders are horrible, evil demon spawn. Death to the abominations!

We had a thread about this photo waaay back in 2003/2004. I'll repeat what I said then:

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

The great thing about clock spider is how much scarier it is when it's under the clock. The brain can't reconcile the ideas of "clock" and "spider" without shitting its pants a little.