Behold the spider-cricket - Page 2

As a life-long arachnophobe, none of the pictures in this thread (save perhaps the camel-spider) have set off my "SpiderSense".
I can be scared senseless by a tiny spider the size of my fingernail, but huge insects are just cool. Crabs can be as big as they want, but they're still just crabs.

Suddenly, The Mist...got a whole lot scarier. Who knew how much they could of (or maybe did?)saved by using these critters. What we have here is the best casting for Arachniphobia 2

Does the coconut crab go "Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham?" as it snips extremities off your body?

Furthermore, the wiki entry says they've been known to break into homes and steal shiny stuff like teapots. I must say, the mental picture of a crab scurrying off with a teapot in its hands might be one of the funniest things I've pictured in the last year.

The faster you imagine him, the funnier he gets, but also the scarier. It's a dilemma.

He has to be making the Zoidberg sound too.

If O'Brien wanted me to betray my disproportionately attractive girlfriend, he would use these fuckers.

Ahaha, the lobstrocities were the first thing I thought of too.

I was going to post this behind a link, but it's funnier if people come upon this unawares. Besides, if you're reading this thread you should more or less know what to expect:

"Guys, do I have something on my back?"

Oh Hell Naw.

Seriously, fuck that thing.

I'm kinda with Crowley in that the smaller spiders often scare me more. Bigger ones can be fuzzy and cute - the one on the dude's back is just funny. The thin, hard limbs and the small size are part of what makes spiders scary; it means they're on a different scale - you can't fight them, you can't always see them, etc. But this big one... I can punch it, you know?

Okay, carry on with the pictures.

Why do I keep coming in this thread? What sort of sick masochist am I?

I would rather look at the pictures in the Uncle Dirty thread than this series of nightmares.

Troof. The coconut crab doesn't scare me in the least. Everything else? Terrifying.

Honestly, you and me both. I just finished watching The Mist, and I just don't know what the fuck I was thinking coming into this thread. Lemme calm down from the movie first...

Johan,

looks delicious.

Jesus fuck Clarence, I clicked that link, looked away for a few seconds and the squeak and subsequent image will haunt me forever.

They also catch flying bats:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=UROVfmY3NTA

Johan, fuck you. Fuuuuccckkkk You.


I know I'm setting myself up for something horribly disgusting that I will regret for the next 6 years but....has anyone ever seen or captured on film a dead large spider like the one on the guys back?

If a "mid-size" tiny spider makes a disgusting image when dead and splattered...I'd hate to see a splattered tarantula.

Yet...I'm intrigued. I like hurting myself apparently.

Hmm, who will eat whom first?

I'm with you there, small sneaky poisonous bugs are scarier than the big fuzzies.

I'm terribly scared of spiders, but I managed to hold a Chilean Rose tarantula in my hand once without freaking out.

I opened my broiler drawer under my stove to pull out a cookie sheet yesterday (I hardly use the broiler for more than pizza/cookie sheet storage) to cook some frozen biscuits on, and as I pull it out, I yell, "GAH!" There's a dead mouse on the corner of the sheet. So we pulled out all the sheets, washed them, washed them again, and pulled out the broiler drawer and cleaned everything behind it. Not a spider, but still jolting.

The funny thing was, the most prevalent thing behind the stove were a bunch of mouse cat-toys. I wondered if the mouse saw all these other "mice" hanging out and was like, "Hey, this looks like the place to be."

I found one of these in my garage. I sprayed it. With semen.

DaveB and I went to the Shedd Aquarium last week (it was our wedding anniversary - aren't we romantic?). They had a spider crab there. I took pretty much everything else we saw there in stride, but we both had a hard time staying in front of the spider crab tank. That thing was disturbing.

That was me trying to show you my cool Halloween costume. I still wake up screaming.

jesus.. there goes my lunch.

and i thought centipedes were bad.

AHHHHHH! Camel Spider Bite!

I knew it was you all along.

Camel Spiders are tiny, it's a forced perspective photograph.

Mother Nature is a sick bitch.

That, my friend, is nothing. One of our bosses relocated here to NY from California, and some time before he moved, he was bitten on the finger by a brown recluse spider. He said his entire hand swelled up to the size of his head, complete with huge purple open sores. He took pictures of his hand and showed them to us, and a more enormous horror show you've never seen.

And the scary thing, aside from the way they look, is that a bite from a spider can really screw you up. He spent a month and a half in the hospital, they had to remove part of the bone in his finger and fuse it because of the damage from the toxins (so now he can't bend the first digit of that finger), and he's just sick all the time now. He's only in his late 30's, and he's aged so much and is pretty much what you would term as "sickly". Just something like an ordinary cold bug that would have anyone else sneezing or sniffling, but still at work, has him laid out sick for a few days. It's really bad.

Which is one of the reasons why I'm not one of these, "Awwww! Don't kill the spider! Just shoo him gently out the door on some newspaper" people. I'll smoosh one sooner than look at it.

Some people are very allergic to a brown recluse. This guy you mentioned sounds like one of them.

Look on the bright side, if you are bitten, you can usually tell if you are having an allergic reaction within a few hours, and if you get to the hospital quickly, most of the harmful effects can be minimized. That is, if you aren't highly allergic.

Yeah, brown recluse spiders are nasty little buggers. Their venom induces necrosis of the surrounding flesh (thank you, Animal Planet).
See, I'm one of those people who will pick the spider up and carry it outside. That's probably going to come back to bite me--literally--one of these days.

I would guess he probably is then. He said that he didn't even realize he was bitten, and that his hand just blew up like a blimp - he didn't find out it was a spider bite till he went to the emergency room.

I have many legendary tales of quarreling with a cricket in my room at 3am.

When you see all these natural monstrocities one after the other like this, so horrible you have a hard time even looking at them without making your skin crawl, you realize how truly inadequate and unimaginative creature designs in movies are. There's just nothing onscreen that's ever come close to capturing the inherent creepiness of these things. And I guess any movie that managed to would be very unprofitable as well but that's beside the point...

I just killed a spider in my apartment. Not one of the giant hard-shelled crab monstrosities, thank god. Nope, just a tiny little guy. "Smoosh!", just like I warned you I was capable of. Fall to your knees and fear me when I come at you wielding my Kleenex of Doom!

Actually, I noticed that the creature designs in The Mist seemed to be based on natural creatures, especially arthropods. The tentacle was fairly original (but did resemble something I had seen before in Invertebrate Zoology), but the flies were fairly fly-like, the spiders were born like mosquitoes and other aquatic insects, the clawed monster looked a lot like a giant crab. The giant thing at the end also seemed original, but I liked the fact that the designers seemed inspired by the alieness of terrestrial invertebrates.

Jesus fucking Christ, Amph.

Aren't you afraid that one day the Kleenex will give in and the spider go on the offensive?

I usually leave the corpse where it was for a month. Its a reminder to all its buddies to leave now or suffer the same fate. I'm much like Vlad in my murder of insects.

I do that with ants. Kill one of the scouts, let the other take the word back of shit being too dangerous that one way.

I wish I could rep you, Amphibatron. Awesome.

Could you work your artistic magic to make it look like it's crawling out of the guy's back?

LOLSpydurz?