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Is It Different When You're A Parent?

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Some time ago, I posted a thread about violence against children as a cinematic device in horror films, wondering why we don't see more of it. It's guaranteed, most of us agreed, to disturb a viewer. That being the goal of horror movies, the general consensus, as I recall, was that it shouldn't be deemed "going too far" if a filmmaker chose to use it in his films.

Several of the posts replying to that thread also mentioned the idea that this sort of imagery hits parents differently from the way it hits the rest of the audience. One or two disagreed, saying they were parents and didn't find the imagery any more cringe-worthy now that they were parents than they did before they had kids.

I just finished reading Brian Keene's "Dead Sea". There were a couple scenes during the first "act" of the novel, wherein the protagonist is attempting to escape zombie-fueled carnage in his hometown of Baltimore, where children - infants in some cases - were the subject of some pretty intense violence, zombie and otherwise. And these got under my skin. Noticeably so.

I am the father of a son who's almost two. And while imagery of violence against children, infants in particular, has always disturbed me (a classic example I can think of off the top of my head is that scene in "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster", of all things, where the news anchor is speaking about the smog monster's rampage, and in the background is a bank of screens with images of his pollution infected carnage, including a baby floatng in some soup of filth and crying. . . and no one apparenlty available to help it; this one always creeped me out quite a bit), I think it's pretty safe to say it's worse now that I have a little one of my own. I never really liked kids much until I had one, and no one is more surprised than me at how attached and affectionate I am toward the little guy. NOTHING scares me more than the prospect of harm coming to him, so I guess it follows that violence against kids around his age will hit me particularly hard.

Now, I'm not saying for a minute that this concept is in ANY way "going too far" for a horror movie/book, and that authors or filmmakers should shy away from it. Although I have to admit that on an instinctual, visceral level, my first reaction to the above mentioned Keene scenes was "That's awful; why'd he have to go there?" I just couldn't help myself. But fast on the heels of that thought was: "You know, that takes guts for a writer to do. And if they ever film this book, I hope the filmmakers have the balls to keep it in." Mr. Keene apparently succeeded admirably in his goal of horrifying the reader. I had a professor that told us the first sign of true learning is confusion. After all, if everything makes perfect sense the first time you hear it, are you really learning anything new? It's when you tackle something that confuses you and overcome the confusion that you really learn. In the same vein, you can't really have good horror if at first you aren't . . . well, HORRIFIED by what you're seeing or reading. That's an unpleasant sensation at first, but it is what we all pay our eight bucks to feel, and leads to true catharsis, I'd argue.

To the horror viewing parents: has your experience been similar? Is violence against children in films (or books, comics or whatever) harder to take now than it was before you had kids?

To those who are not parents, does this imagery bother you deeply as well? And feel free to speculate on whether you'd feel differently if you WERE a parent than you do now.
post #2 of 11
It changed me. It's definitely something you don't think about, it just happens. Good example, Pet Semetary, not so enjoyable any more. Not that it was ever a spectacular movie, but I used to think it was fun.

I wish I had big words and five paragraphs on the subject, but the fact is to me it wasn't an intellectual thing, it's just something that happened after having children.
post #3 of 11
I am not a parent. Of course it disturbs me, but of course I don't know if it'd be different, especially since I so often hear parents talk about being a parent as some magical thing that changes all elements of your thinking.

But - and this is probably important - I have young siblings, and I was never one of those "don't like kids" people in the first place. So maybe it'll be less of a change for me, maybe I'm already close. I know that when I see harm done to a child in film, I have that flash in my head of my little brother or sister, that "what if something happened to them," and it seems similar to what you parents describe. It's not the same, though, I know.
post #4 of 11
I'm a parent, and I'd have to say that no, it doesn't bother me in the least.

Horror films have been in my life since I can remember.

Although I haven't seen it in years.....god, probably since the early 80's, one of my favorite "Kids in distress" movies was "The Boy who cried Wolf."

The first movie I can remember kids being killed in was 1979 (I think) The Prophecy (you know, big mutated bear in the forest). The kid exploding in the sleeping bag was just awesome. Well, okay, take that back as the first kid kill I saw was actually in JAWS.

Kid kills in movies still aren't rampant. So I get a little giddy when we do get one. Loved the kid getting eaten in DinoCroc. I think it takes nuts to kill a kid in your movie/book as some people just take the critisisms too far.

I also think that doing a kid kill brings the project a little more realism. In real life horrible things happen to kids every day......things that are far more horrible than what we'll see in a fabricated tale.
post #5 of 11
It's the easiest cheap-shot way of generating horror and despair. Put the kid in danger!
post #6 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
It's the easiest cheap-shot way of generating horror and despair. Put the kid in danger!
Okay, but what about when it goes past "in danger," and the kid gets destroyed? Is that even cheaper, or is it fresh and exciting, or is it horrifying, or what?
post #7 of 11
Thread Starter 
I don't know if "fresh and exciting" are the terms I'd use, but I see where you're going, and agree. It is something the moviemaking establishment has by & large shied away from, despite the enormous potential to horrify it presents them with. Because we all want to be terrified while watching a horror film, I like the fact that we're seeing more of it lately because it improves the films' ability to achieve their central goal. So yes, It is horrifying. Very much so. And while it can be done in a "cheap shot" manner, it doesn't have to be. It can be very effective in the right hands.
post #8 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
It's the easiest cheap-shot way of generating horror and despair. Put the kid in danger!
I recall being told in a creative writing class that the two quickest ways to lose the sympathy of your audience were to kill a dog or a kid.

So really, putting a kid (or dog) in danger just to create tension when you have no intention of offing him is cheap - and often transparent. Actually killing the child (or dog) is really running out onto a limb.

I guess the best analogy I can come up with is that to me it's the difference between the finale of The Road Warrior - were Miller seems just crazy enough to kill any and/or everyone who may be onscreen at that time - and the big chase at the end of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, where I got the feeling that while Max may sacrifice his life, the kids were gonna be just fine.
post #9 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez View Post
I recall being told in a creative writing class that the two quickest ways to lose the sympathy of your audience were to kill a dog or a kid.
post #10 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Kimbell View Post
I think that's part of the reason that the book got so much pub - the author sets a major hurdle up for herself right from the get-go and clears it pretty handily. Audacious, to say the least.
post #11 of 11
Honestly, no, it doesn't bother me, when it happens IN MOVIES.

Now... the countless CNN headlines about parents tossing their kids off bridges and out hotel rooms, or beating them to death with Wii-motes. Those make me sick to my stomach, but only since becoming a parent. I found them disturbing before, but never got THAT upset about them. I try to stay away from those headlines now.

Unexplainable.
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