UK Chewers - where are ya? - Page 4

The thing is, a baby under six months old will have no inkling or recollection of something like that. It's not toddlers, who absorb films and TV like sponges.

Yeah I wasn't suggesting the babies will be affected by the violent ways of Anton Chigurh, it was just spotting a film like that which threw me. If previous screenings had included the likes of ZODIAC I wouldn't have even mentioned it at this point.

Not to lower the tone or anything, but in my experience Welsh women are just pure filth.

There were quite a few Welsh people at my uni and everyone of them was affable and sound, I certainly didn't encounter any antagonism or anti-English stuff from them.

Face it folks, they're always going to hate us (all the Brits who aren't English), we can either:
1. hate them back
2. ignore it
3. be as nice as possible so they feel bad about it.
4. gently bait them.

I choose to hate them back with all of my fucking might. Hatred is what the French kings who colonised England from 1066 to the 1400s great and Hatred is what will make the English rise again. Fuck it, give every country their independence and lets go on a British isles marathon of re-conquering.

I would expect that from a Yorkshireman. I thought you whining cunts wanted independence as well (or was that the rest of the UK that wanted independence from you twats). Let's face it the only reason you lot make a big deal of Rugby and Cricket is because you're universally shit at football and still hold a grudge over losing the war of the roses. The only reason that "Bratfuth" isn't the worst place in the world any more is because of the Haitian earthquake.

I presume you meant something along these lines?

Yorkshire folk don't want independence, we just want the rest of England to accept that we're better than them.

There is nothing at all good about Yorkshire :P Wouldn't go back there for anything.

Losing Howard and Collins from that list would strengthen it greatly.

Yeah,

Yorkshire only has Ted Hughes, The Brontes, Ben Kingsley, Sean Bean, Patrick Stewart, Gang of Four, Pulp and....Chris Moyles.

Scratch that last one.

Don't forget former Manchester United fan-favourite Alan Smith!*

Russel Howard tries too hard for my liking, but I can see the appeal. Frankie Boyle was the real reason to watch that show (and I like Dara.) As for Collins... I still tend to think of him as the weaker half of the Carr/Collins relationship.

* Not to be confused with Sky Sports' boring Alan Smith.

Also without Yorkshire we'd never have any Gritty Baftas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HXaj2IYYn8

I'll put forward Jimmy Tarbuck and Cilla Black for my city...oh yes, I brought out the big guns. Close the thread etc.

Be fair, yurkshur does have the best airline. And Moyles is your king.

Rusty: Stan Boardman, Kenny Everett. You're Safe.

Cleo: Sting, Cheryl Cole, Jimmy Nail and Lembit Opik. (But Viz and Gregg's bakers get you a pass)

Ken: if we include Swindon, you get Mark Lamarr, Julian Clary and the sublime Angel Long- but if you are hardcore then I guess Chepstow picks up JK Rowling.

PS. the best thing about this thread (and being from the UK in general) is having a go at each other without it becoming a vicious shitstorm (like every other CHUD thread).

Yorkshire wins by having Sean Bean alone. No amount of shitty weather or people calling you "chuck" can take that away.

No-ones mentioned the ultimate yorkshireman.....PARKINSON!

Oh yeah, I forget The Beatles, Billy Fury, The La's, Echo and the Bunnymen, Elvis Costello, Alex Cox, Willy Russell, Lucius Malfoy, Darth Maul, Sam Lowry and James Bond.

And Hitler's nephew!

Fuck Parkinson.

Yeah, I said it.

I'm from London and love it here. Although admitedly I know much less about the country as you guys, since I was born here, and came back to live here 6 years ago. I just moved from Kensington to Shepherds Bush, and the only noteworthy ppl I know from Shepherds Bush is the band Bush. And for that I apologize.

there's a certain charm to british Porn in general, but if you looked up Nasty in a dictionary; Angel long would be there. Hope you didn't google her at work. Cathy Barry cracks me up she's theoretically physically attractive but so resolutely unsexy that her david prowse-seque accent immediately wilts even the steeliest resolve (I don't want to derail this thread into a sub-porn category btw I just wanted to big up Swindon's hardest working daughter).

Incidentally, a few years ago I was watching a panorama on britain's roughest streets and after 2 or 3 minutes of seeing some scumbag mancs rowing with the cops outside a burnt out chipshop i realized that it was my street.

- QUOTED FOR TRUTH - i hate the man with a passion, not just the yorkshire thing (although that's a thing), it's an ITV thing plus the fact that he's such a kiss-ass and such a boring cunt.

No offense rusty but i'll pass on all of those guys - and of course we beg the question:

just how many of those people still reside within the merseyside area?

To my knowledge the bunnymen still do, but i assume that's an ankle tag thing.

Honestly? Your best bet is to throw in with the Lancastrians (and Mancunians) to build a mighty yet unworkable alliance for "best county" or else you'll find yourself trying to include Cheshire and even bits of Wales.

You make me smile, mr_adam.

This could ring false now since it's fashionable to like him, but I've always preferred Conan O'Brien to Parkinson (or any other British chat-show host.) I don't dislike "Parky", but he is comparatively bland. Letterman's never bothered me. He's like a more enjoyable Parkinson, a kind of half-way between the two; animated enough to not be a kind of a passenger, but not overbearing. Granted, this may well have changed if I'd been able to see more than just a mere sampling of U.S. talk-shows.

They should give Ross' wife a chatshow. Holy moly.

Have to agree with this, English porn always seems to have a bit more charm and likability than it's American counterparts. They always like to include a couple of gags too, it's like a Carry On film almost, just with hardcore intercourse instead of Barbara Windsor's cleavage.

Going back to what someone said about this thread being a bit more friendly and affable despite all the insults etc. That really struck a chord with me, sometimes when I'm reading a more personal thread on here it seems like the American posters can be very serious, almost unbearably so sometimes, whereas if I was on an English board everyone would be taking the piss. It's like the way we can really take the piss out of our friends if they've got a new haircut or something, I mean in my circle of friends "cunt" is used as an affectionate greeting.
Not saying this is a bad thing or anything, it's just a different mentality I guess.

Don't be fucking ridiculous.

I've had to adapt quite a bit to living in Canada - "Cunt" is right out, which is a shame because it's a fantastic word in the UK, I would say it's on a par with "Motherfucker" in the states - it's a multi-use friendly kind of insult with a long history. Every now and again I'll accidentally let one slip (as i did in my previous post), no big deal to most of you but it goes over like a fart in a broken lift.

When I first came here I was invited to a "white trash" party so i grew a moustache, a shitty "EARL" style affair, NO_ONE at work mentioned it - not one canadian even remarked on it, i was new at work and maybe people didn't know how to mention it but i grew that bitch for over a month, still nothing, then I met up with a scottish mate for a drink - I hadn't even sat down and he said "what the fuck is that on your face, you look like a twat" I was so relieved that someone had said something, grateful even "yes! yes I do look like a twat - that's exactly what I'm going for!"

The chat show thing is generally not my cup of tea - i used to watch letterman and bits of conan but these days I only watch Stewart and Colbert on Comedy central - these guys are the absolute best thing on TV over here. You know when you see SNL or Leno and you think "you've only got about 20 minutes of good material here but you've padded it to an hour." well these guys have an hour of great material crammed into 20 minutes each. Their approach to guests is brilliant - stewart either bites the jugular (news / political types) or sucks their scrotum (celebrities). Colbert on the other hand doesn't let them get a word in edgeways, the guests might as well be cardboard cutouts (one time they were) and he went and did a show in Iraq and did some schtick. Ross won't get over in the US, the yanks have a hard enough time understanding him on his show, I'd prefer to see clarkson over here - i don't like him (yorkshire remember) but it'd be great to see him lay into some yanks on home turf. He's really popular in Canada with the whole Top Gear / Fuck Americans thing.

As for my suggestion for creating "Greater Lancashire" from Liverpool, manchester and lancashire - historically we were all Lancastrians! if we unite under one banner and even annex parts of cheshire, cumbria and the sudetenland we would create an economic superpower to rival that of that London. We could even roll over yorkshire, put them in work camps and make the running dogs like spike pay for their crimes, a glorious new Reich to last a thousand premiership seasons! the south seeks to keep us apart, at each other's throats for their own ends - so I say to thee, take the east lancs road (now the UNITED LANCASHIRE road) go to OLD TRAFFORD, extend your hand in friendship to the mancunians in the spirit of brotherhood and northern fraternity! return their hubcaps! Ein Lancashire! Ein North! Ein Volk! Ein Reich!

You want another War of the Roses?

We'll burn your coronation street to the ground. You can't win a war against Yorkshire simply because we technically get Hull which has a weapon stockpile to rival a rogue nation.

I trust we're all going to be watching Charlie Brookers Newswipe tonight. Last week's episode was hilarious.

Technically you don't get Kingston-upon-Hull.

Yes I'll be watching newswipe - but on youtube in a few days..razzle fraggit.

SNOW!!!

Hopefully, on the iPlayer at some point. I'm still gutted I missed his end of year review show.

Anybody else love mr_adam's manifesto? It gave me quite a chuckle.

And if things get hairy, you can always hop over and take refuge in Belfast. Yes, perfectly safe and accommodating Belfast.

You're not Polish... right, Ken?

Bobby - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPv7r...eature=related

Newswipe was of course amazing - I particularly liked the reference to the the cold weather as being Nick Griffin's dream of an all white Britain.

Let's team up and invade Scotland for their.......whisky reserves. That's the way to create cohesion within England.

Brooker is NAILING it tonight.

I don't know what I was thinking; you're better off out of the sectarian soup.

Thanks, man! A mate of mine told me it was still on the iPlayer, so I was holding out hope of seeing it that way. I just know that, if I miss a show like that when it first airs, the chances of me getting distracted (by, say, downloading Troll 2 from the PlayStation Store) and forgetting about it will dramatically increase.

no problems dude - iplayer doesn't work out here so we have to look hard and get creative.

Thanks to the glory of Sky+ I'm going to watch Newswipe right now...although Con Air is on Sky Movies right now, "nothing makes me sadder, than when the agent lost his bladder, on the aiiiiiiirrrrrrrrplane".


Of course the North would beat the South, just wait for the next quarter inch of snow and none of them pussy's will leave their front door, we can just waltz in and take over, sorted.

Reason I love being British #237:

I'm currently doing some research on the Luddites and as such I'm going through British papers from 1811 up to 1814. I today got to an 1814 article where during our Second War with the USA we set fire to the White House. The quote attached to the article is as follows:

"The actions we took in Washington were not a requirement, but it felt appropriate not to leave our mark in this city"

Got to love the seethingly genteel insanity there.

Crap, I missed Newswipe again. Off to Iplayer I go...

Just out of curiosity, in this forthcoming conflict between the north and south, where do us poor sods in the Midlands fit in? Do we get to choose our allegiance or are we to be rounded up and used as cannon fodder?

You'll be manning the catapults my dear boy, and then a little while later you'll be manning the outside of Canary Wharf.

Funny thing about Swindon, after Mark Lamarr said something negative about the town some residents (and the local paper) tried to start a petition to ban him from coming back into the town. Oh and you can include Melinda Messenger and Billie Piper to the Swindon list.

I come from Grimsby and we can annex the world with Mike Hallet and Damon Albarn's gran (allegedly).

I'm not saying for a second that some southern English folks can't handle themselves, but yes, I know where my money would be going.

In Bruges flashback.

Join us and you shall have your choice of southern birds or oppose us and die, or keep your heads down until it's clear who's going to come out on top. PS Keep your parks clear as most of the battles will be in "the disputed zone".

i was thinking about including Piper and Messenger for swindon but I figured that as tit-stands go Angel long should get the nod.