CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Teen wants to die, go to heaven, kill Jesus
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Teen wants to die, go to heaven, kill Jesus

post #1 of 17
4/30/08 at 12:45am
Thread Starter 
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/29/....ap/index.html

Quote:
FLORENCE, South Carolina (AP) -- A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.

Prosecutors argued in a federal courtroom that the statements are an indication that 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger needs a psychological evaluation.

The straight-A Chesterfield High School senior was arrested April 19 and faces several state and federal charges, including attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. That charge carries a possible life sentence if he is convicted.

"His conduct is bizarre," prosecutor Buddy Bethea told Judge Thomas Rogers III, who did not immediately issue a ruling. "I think it screams out in his conduct that he be evaluated."
Who says kids nowadays don't have big aspirations?
Reply
post #2 of 17
4/30/08 at 12:47am
That's just crazy enough to work.
Reply
post #3 of 17
4/30/08 at 12:52am
Hey, he's 18 and knows for certain what he wants to do with his life. Good for him!
Reply
post #4 of 17
4/30/08 at 12:59am
They better not try to blame this shit on GTA4. It's clear that the blame can be split evenly between the producers of the God Of War and Left Behind series.
Reply
post #5 of 17
4/30/08 at 1:13am
Actually, isn't there some wacked out Japanese game that actually encourages the player to kill themselves to summon demons and vanquish their enemies? Not trying to give em fuel for the fire, but uhh...yeah, guess I'm saying the Japanese are fucking weird.
Reply
post #6 of 17
4/30/08 at 1:23am
When asked for a statement, defense attorney Walter Sobchak said "Eight year olds, dude."
Reply
post #7 of 17
4/30/08 at 1:25am
If he wanted to kill Jesus he should have just killed this baby.
Reply
post #8 of 17
4/30/08 at 1:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
If he wanted to kill Jesus he should have just killed this baby.
"Is that Jesus?!"

"No, it's just a penis."
Reply
post #9 of 17
4/30/08 at 1:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
If he wanted to kill Jesus he should have just killed this baby.
Funny that Fox news is covering it...

Wait, so he wants to kill himself, go to heaven and then kill Jesus? besides the wholes in this theory, why kill someone who can just come back?
Thats like playing the Packers at Lambo when it's negative 10 with 5 feet of snow on the ground...
Reply
post #10 of 17
4/30/08 at 2:05am
He won't be meeting Jesus where he's goin'!

Hi-yo!
Reply
post #11 of 17
4/30/08 at 2:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
They better not try to blame this shit on GTA4. It's clear that the blame can be split evenly between the producers of the God Of War and Left Behind series.
He was arrested on Apr. 19. GTA 4 wasn't out yet.
Reply
post #12 of 17
4/30/08 at 2:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zollicoffer View Post
He won't be meeting Jesus where he's goin'!

Hi-yo!
You are correct sir!
Reply
post #13 of 17
4/30/08 at 2:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zollicoffer View Post
He won't be meeting Jesus where he's goin'!

Hi-yo!
Actually he is most likely going to prison and thats where my uncle found Jesus. On two separate occasions. He didn't shank him, but he grew a gnarley beard.
Reply
post #14 of 17
4/30/08 at 3:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherm View Post
Actually he is most likely going to prison and thats where my uncle found Jesus.
I'm gonna guess his prison was in Florida, Texas or California. There's a bunch of guys named Jesus in prisons there.
Reply
post #15 of 17
4/30/08 at 9:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
"Is that Jesus?!"

"No, it's just a penis."
The kid has a t-square for a penis? Good luck to him trying to find pants that'll fit.
Reply
post #16 of 17
4/30/08 at 10:22am
I wonder if Doc Brown and Marty McFly can help this kid out somehow? Y'know, Mary and Joseph and the three wise men, all gathered around the manger in Bethlehem, when suddenly a DeLorian crash-lands, blasting Huey Lewis music.
Reply
post #17 of 17
4/30/08 at 10:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
They better not try to blame this shit on GTA4.
Oh, so you heard about the unlockable heaven level with the Jesus death match too? And here I thought it was just a rumor.

Those games are really getting out of hand.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Misc. Culture
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Teen wants to die, go to heaven, kill Jesus