Commercials You Hate

Truth Ads. Nuff Said.

ALL car commercials. There's waaaay too fuckin' many of them, and they don't even TRY to make them memorable, amusing or interesting.

Fuck them. Fuck them all.

"Head On!"

THAT one makes me want to apply a 12 gague directly to my forehead.

Has there ever been a bigger corporate whore then Tiger Woods?

Really? I always thought they were pretty good.

Shouldn't commercials strictly be for new things? Why are there still ads for Budweiser and Pepsi?

Also, when ESPN would pimp their HD feed during NFL games by showing you a monitor displaying the game in HD. If you were watching in standard def, even if they showed a Hi Def feed, YOU WERE STILL SEEING IT IN STANDARD DEFINITION.

How is this possible? Look at rate of deaths by smoking related illnesses and cancer. Look at the rates of death for those other things and add them up. Compare them.

What's the exact problem that you have with this concept?

I understand the point but I just find them really obnoxious. That and and any ads that try to have old people act and talk young.

What? Were you under the impression that the FDA listed cigarettes in the food pyramid?

Honest question, no snark: How old are you?

Least you're honest.

Back on track: The Sobe Life Water commercials with Naomi Campbell and the lizards dancing to Thriller. Just a winning combination of things that make me wish for adult onset blindness.

All of them.

There's what I think is a VW commercial now where people are looking at a car in a dealership while some jagoff in another room keeps hitting the panic button to scare the people away. So the commercial is basically just car horns for 45 seconds.

It makes me want to go out and stab ladybugs.

No mention of those goddamn Subway "Five Dollar Footlong" ads? Whoever wrote that song needs to be tied to Barry Manilow and dropped off a boat.

Definitely car commercials. Best part about them: no real cars were harmed or even fucking used during the filming of them!

"My wife was my life"

Those commercials make me want to set fire to everyone involved in them.

If you think that's bad, what about the bullshit ads involving foot pads that somehow "Pull the toxins out of you", most hilarious claim involves the amount of mercury "removed"

I also sorta wouldn't mind a cell phone commercial where the "Can you hear me now?" guy is doing his oh-so-famous catchphrase from inside a coffin.

That fucking Apple Thin Laptop commercial. I hate the song, I hate the shitty looking laptop, I hate the smug "smaller is better" vibe of the whole thing. "Hey, we can take it out of an envelope! Don't you want it? Isn't that useful to you, lazy consumer who can't lift more than a pound in your man purse? Don't worry, you don't even need to carry this with you! You can just mail it to wherever you want to go! It fits in an envelope!" Fucking...stupid.

The funny thing is, the song never mentions a "foot-long" what.

If I were a bored, lonely house-wife, and it was a "foot-long cock", that would be a hell of a deal. Sub sandwich? Not so much.

There's an animal rescue ad with Sarah McLachlan that just makes me reach for the remote. I donate to ASPCA, my local shelter, etc. as often as I can (hell, my two cats were abandoned when we adopted them) but whenever I see it, I still get depressed and feel guilty.

Totally bummed me out during Rock of Love 2, is what I'm getting at.

Don't even get me fucking started. I've had great days that have been absolutely RUINED by that commercial.

Not that I hold it against Sarah or the ASPCA, but that commercial's the emotional counterpart of that asshole in the orange wig who kicks random people in the junk.

Oh yeah, how about those awful Cheetos commercials where the Cheetos cheetah appears as a creepy apparition and simply encourages people to be dicks?

Don't even get me started on the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA ad. The first time I ever saw that, I freaked. It absolutely had the effect on me it was supposed to have, and then some. I grabbed my cat and absolutely bawled my eyes out.

While I agree with you, it's a shitty commercial and a shitty idea for a laptop (and I say this as someone who's 100% loyal to Apple), here's something interesting that proves it: right after the laptop came out on the market, there was an article in Newsweek by their tech reporter who was supposed to review it. However, instead of a review, his article told the story of how it was so thin, that his wife accidentally threw it out when it got shuffled in with their Sunday Times! Newsweek had it on loan from Apple, and out it went. So there you go - how much more of a shitty design to you have to have than that? To know that if you should happen to leave your COMPUTER on the coffee table, and a few newspapers are covering it, it's so thin that it could easily get thrown in the trash? Interestingly enough, since I read that article, I've never seen another commercical for the Mac Air, nor have I seen anybody with one. I think this is one product Apple might not have thought out very well.

Used to be one of my favorite songs by her. Now, can't listen to it at all without thinking of that commercial.

http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer?pagename=now_drtv

I believe it's marketed as computer for people who already have a computer, or something stupid like that.

Is that really Naomi Campbell? The lady looks just different enough that I'm not sure. That commercial makes no sense at all.

I have an irrational hatred for those yogurt commercials with the two ladies who say shit like "This yogurt is 'not getting any cramps during your period' good" or "This yogurt is 'not dying by autoerotic ashpyxia' good". I hope they die violent yogurt-related deaths. That would be good.

Yeah, it's marketed as a second little computer to bring around with you, not your main one. But still - it just seems like such a dumb idea. So thin you could accidentally throw it out, to say nothing that it's probably not that sturdy since it can fit in an envelope. I just think - and again, as much as I love Apple - that wtih this whole trend where every new electronic gadget has to be smaller and thinner than the one before, that this was the one they went overboard with.

.....I really hate you right now.

The link clearly shows where it's coming from, so you can't be hating.


While I agree that the video emotionally cripples, I hope people cry money into the ASPCA's coffers (hence my posting the link for those who have never seen the commercial).

This is why I dont' have cable and download my shows the day after. Then I go out and buy the boxsets. Fuck commercials.

There used to be an even worse one with David Duchovny's voiceover as a voice of one of the dogs, "All I know is that I'm a good dog, and I need a home."

Jesus fucking Christ.

All of them.

Plus the fact that the gain is turned way up on commercials versus the programming on the channel.

Heard on TV: "You should not take Reclast if you're on Zometa." I love America.

Yeah, I forgot to add my part 2 to the first time I ever saw that commercial. Me, five minutes later = sitting at the computer, typing my credit card information in to the ASPCA's website, still sniffling and "eep"ing, the cat now hiding from the crazy woman.

And the Duchovny dog food commercial? Fuck him. I used to love him. But he made me cry. He made me cry with his dog voice.

So great is my love for arah, that I can overlook this (although it is still unpleasant to watch, It doesn't rise to the level of hatred).

Wjat I DO hate is that fucking feed the children commercial with the guy with the fucking beard: "you're not doing anything right now, are you, you fat American fuck. Get off your privileged ass and give little Paco here a chance at life. Here's the number." [speeding train rushes by thru the middle of the village]. Along the same lines: that one that uses John Lennon's "So This is Christmas". Hate that fucking song to begin with. That commercial doesn't help. Donate all you want; the fucking death squads will kill the kid before he's old enough to shave anyway.

Evil? Maybe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ_vcv5I_KA

I think this may be a NY thing, but there's some stupid commercial for an agency that will get you lottery winnings in one lump sum and it has a bunch of horrible actors screaming "It's my money, and I want it now!' out of their windows that goes on for entirely far too long. I cringe every time it comes up.

Awesome! That made my day. Macs are solid products, I know...but the Mac Air looks like it was designed for people who have a fetish for small things. Like pedophiles.

Hey, I've been digging Sarah since Vox, so I'm sharing the love. It's just the moment I hear the song, I'm either lunging for the remote, or hauling ass out the room, ears covered "La, la, la! Everything's great! All pets are happy in warm, safe, love-filled homes! Not listening!" Then, I make a donation... (I'm weak.)

OK, that "It's my money, and I need it NOW!" commercial must die. Also, if I may venture into the world of radio, any commercial that uses a nickname for it's own product (Southern Comfort's "SoCo" shit from awhile back, for example) or that ad that has that fake DJ coming out of a record to talk to you about computers...automatic death by firing squad for the soulless, slime-spewing ad execs that thought 'em up.

Y'ever see or listen to a commercial that was so awful you made it a point to NEVER buy that product?

Not local.

I hate all of them! Cutting into my fucking TV shows like that. Fuck commercials.

I can't eat at Carls Jr any more. I guess I'm too old for those disgusting commercials with the disaffected slacker voiceovers.

Geico Cavemen. Nuff said.