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Duggars are expecting baby #18!

post #1 of 96
5/10/08 at 9:28am
Thread Starter 
Stop it! Stop it, Duggars! Stop fucking already! Go see a movie! Leave the house once in a while. And we don't mean "Leave the house and then, oh! Oops! Just happened to wind up at Macy's mattress and bedding department - may as well work on another kid!" I mean, leave the house and do something that doesn't involve your worn out, VW Bus of a uterus.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24537885/
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post #2 of 96
5/10/08 at 9:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
...do something that doesn't involve your worn out, VW Bus of a uterus.
Jim Bob, "Honey, don't you know that God considers leaving the light on an abomination?"
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post #3 of 96
5/10/08 at 10:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MSNBC
The main gifts, picked by all the kids, included a ring Michelle saw and liked in a used jewelry store two weeks ago, as well as a pearl necklace and matching earrings.
Ole Jim Bob ought to give her a couple more of those.
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post #4 of 96
5/10/08 at 10:53am
Let's celebrate the little "miracle" properly:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uNgotUM4gk8
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post #5 of 96
5/10/08 at 10:56am
quiverful?
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post #6 of 96
5/10/08 at 11:11am
Never heard of it? Your job is to breed little Christian arrows that you shoot out into the world to spread His word.
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post #7 of 96
5/10/08 at 11:12am
Hail Satan.
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post #8 of 96
5/10/08 at 12:19pm
How many more kids until they're their own voting district?
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post #9 of 96
5/10/08 at 12:49pm
Because it never gets old-

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post #10 of 96
5/10/08 at 12:54pm
The only thing worse than that many people is that many people conservatively dressed and with boring preacher hair.
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post #11 of 96
5/10/08 at 1:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
Because it never gets old-

Congregation of the Damned!
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post #12 of 96
5/10/08 at 2:06pm
Oh, Lord, please let this be the next Duggar...



What? He's got a "J" name, right? Plus the jokes would write themselves!
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post #13 of 96
5/10/08 at 2:10pm
I'm not positive, but statistically speaking, one of them has to be the anti-christ.
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post #14 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:03pm
An intimate photo of Jim Bob going downtown on Michelle.





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post #15 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:13pm
Thread Starter 
Jake wins!
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post #16 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:16pm
Thats fucking hilarious, Jake.

And we're all one step closer to Idiocracy actually happening. All these kids are going to have 18 more kids. Eventually, they will rule the world.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED!
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post #17 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:20pm
I almost feel sorry for this poor woman.
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post #18 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
do something that doesn't involve your worn out, VW Bus of a uterus.
Are you kidding? There's no better-exercised uterus in the hemisphere. It could win triathalons. That thing isn't a VW bus, it's a fucking Ferrari.
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post #19 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
I almost feel sorry for this poor woman.
Me too, actually. After reading this story for the 16th, 17th, and now the 18th hatchling, I grew disgusted and horrified with the idea of the fact that she's basically a broodmare for Jesus, though I'm sure she's been indoctrinated enough by the Quiverful bullshit to believe that this is her true purpose on earth.

Regardless of the fact that her husband is ten pelvic-thrusting sessions away from having to spend months filling a bored-out Super Soaker with his own spunk and then impregnating her via drive-by, where he dashes through her beefy draping labia and frantically shoots her ovum with his salvaged jizz right before her spasming uterus dips down to swallow him whole, it doesn't make it any less frightening from a humanitarian point of view.
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post #20 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:48pm
I sure hope they're all going to community college. Or at least something cheap - because holy shit I don't wanna think how much that'll cost them.
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post #21 of 96
5/10/08 at 3:54pm
They get funding from their church and community. From what I understand, they've got a really nice house and so forth. Jesus (read: wacky fuckstarved religious zealots) will pay everything for them.

Erp, maybe not - apparently Duggar's pretty good with real estate, but I still think they're getting community cash.
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post #22 of 96
5/10/08 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Me too, actually. After reading this story for the 16th, 17th, and now the 18th hatchling, I grew disgusted and horrified with the idea of the fact that she's basically a broodmare for Jesus, though I'm sure she's been indoctrinated enough by the Quiverful bullshit to believe that this is her true purpose on earth.

Regardless of the fact that her husband is ten pelvic-thrusting sessions away from having to spend months filling a bored-out Super Soaker with his own spunk and then impregnating her via drive-by, where he dashes through her beefy draping labia and frantically shoots her ovum with his salvaged jizz right before her spasming uterus dips down to swallow him whole, it doesn't make it any less frightening from a humanitarian point of view.
Didn't Ripley kind of do something like that in one of the "Aliens" movies?
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post #23 of 96
5/10/08 at 5:11pm
So that's 13 and half years she will have spent being pregnant.
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post #24 of 96
5/10/08 at 5:13pm
I really, really hate this family.
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post #25 of 96
5/10/08 at 5:21pm
Okay, I looked up some info on this "Quiverful" stuff, and it's beyond frightening:
Quote:
Quiverfull parents try to have upwards of six children. They home-school their families, attend fundamentalist churches and follow biblical guidelines of male headship--"Father knows best"--and female submissiveness. They refuse any attempt to regulate pregnancy. Quiverfull began with the publication of Rick and Jan Hess's 1989 book, A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ, which argues that God, as the "Great Physician" and sole "Birth Controller," opens and closes the womb on a case-by-case basis. Women's attempts to control their own bodies--the Lord's temple--are a seizure of divine power.
Quote:
"Our bodies are meant to be a living sacrifice," write the Hesses. Or, as Mary Pride, in another of the movement's founding texts, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, puts it, "My body is not my own."
Yikes.
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post #26 of 96
5/10/08 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Quiverfull mothers think of their children as no mere movement but as an army they're building for God.
Well, I don't think these kids are going to be going to College...

Yikes! is right though.
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post #27 of 96
5/10/08 at 5:40pm
I just caught this nice little fact about these Quiverfull crazies when I re-read the article:

Quote:
They're domestic warriors in the battle against what they see as forty years of destruction wrought by women's liberation: contraception, women's careers, abortion, divorce, homosexuality and child abuse, in that order.
So abortion, divorce, homosexuality, and child abuse didn't exist before 40 years ago? I don't even know where to start....fuck this religion, it must be destroyed.
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post #28 of 96
5/10/08 at 5:56pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ Fischer View Post
Are you kidding? There's no better-exercised uterus in the hemisphere. It could win triathalons. That thing isn't a VW bus, it's a fucking Ferrari.
Oh, come on! You don't think that thing's caked with rust by now? You don't think it has giant holes worn through the walls? How do you think that much sperm gets in there so fast?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Regardless of the fact that her husband is ten pelvic-thrusting sessions away from having to spend months filling a bored-out Super Soaker with his own spunk and then impregnating her via drive-by, where he dashes through her beefy draping labia and frantically shoots her ovum with his salvaged jizz right before her spasming uterus dips down to swallow him whole, it doesn't make it any less frightening from a humanitarian point of view.
That is poetry, man.

I wonder if they've nicknamed her vagina "Audrey II". Because I'm betting anything that when she whips off those panties, the vag screams "FEED ME, SEYMOUR!!" at Jim Bob.
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post #29 of 96
5/10/08 at 6:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I wonder if they've nicknamed her vagina "Audrey II". Because I'm betting anything that when she whips off those panties, the vag screams "FEED ME, SEYMOUR!!" at Jim Bob.
I hate you.

I keep imagining that scene and it's rolling around in my head trying to make me vomit.
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post #30 of 96
5/10/08 at 6:54pm
Quote:
Quiverfull parents try to have upwards of six children. They home-school their families, attend fundamentalist churches and follow biblical guidelines of male headship--"Father knows best"--and female submissiveness. They refuse any attempt to regulate pregnancy. Quiverfull began with the publication of Rick and Jan Hess's 1989 book, A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ, which argues that God, as the "Great Physician" and sole "Birth Controller," opens and closes the womb on a case-by-case basis. Women's attempts to control their own bodies--the Lord's temple--are a seizure of divine power.
Quote:
"Our bodies are meant to be a living sacrifice," write the Hesses. Or, as Mary Pride, in another of the movement's founding texts, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, puts it, "My body is not my own."
Wow, reading that actually made me so angry that I saw red. Literally. Fuck these people, fuck them in their floppy overstretched pussies.
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post #31 of 96
5/10/08 at 7:07pm
Jim Bob is actually a pastor of a Church so everything they make is tax free, and I believe on the last special the oldest one was attending college online and wanted to be a lawyer. I just feel bad for the kids because the older ones end up raising the younger kids once she stops breastfeeding.
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post #32 of 96
5/10/08 at 7:21pm
I hope they keep going until they have no choice but to name a child "Jigga"
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post #33 of 96
5/10/08 at 11:41pm
What disgusts me most is that this quiver shit treats women as objects. As factories fueled by semen. As a follower of feminist ideas (I am a man) this is horrible. What hath fundamentalism wrought?!!!

I await the day they name one of their children "Jesús" after they have depleted all other J names. Hopefully they will kill themselves for blasphemy.
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post #34 of 96
5/10/08 at 11:47pm
These people are almost as bad as the Irish.
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post #35 of 96
5/11/08 at 12:51am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Thain View Post
I await the day they name one of their children "Jesús" after they have depleted all other J names. Hopefully they will kill themselves for blasphemy.
Odds are they'll start with the same names all over again, but add an extra 'J' at the beginning, like they do with bra sizes. "J-John".
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post #36 of 96
5/11/08 at 2:03am
Let's home this one grows up to be a bomb.
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post #37 of 96
5/11/08 at 4:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySeeds View Post
Let's home this one grows up to be a bomb.
Maybe the bomb will be IN ITS RIBCAGE!


...


I need to go to bed.
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post #38 of 96
5/11/08 at 7:14am
It's OK,...those wiley Japanese are on the counter-offensive...

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post #39 of 96
5/11/08 at 11:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Oh, come on! You don't think that thing's caked with rust by now? You don't think it has giant holes worn through the walls? How do you think that much sperm gets in there so fast?
Vaginas are invincible. Just because hers probably looks like a Predator's mouth doesn't mean it's not still in usable condition.
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post #40 of 96
5/11/08 at 1:07pm
Why do I get a feeling Jim Bob needs to hear Dodonna's 'A New Hope' speech as he prepares for number 19...

" The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver
straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The
target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust
port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the
reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should
destroy the station...."

See also...

"Look at the size of that thing!"

"Almost there!..."

"Almost there!!....."

"Almost there!!!......"

"IT'S AWAY!!!!"

"IT'S A HIT!"

"Negative...Negative... It didn't go in. It just impacted on the
surface."

etc...
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post #41 of 96
5/11/08 at 1:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
Vaginas are invincible. Just because hers probably looks like a Predator's mouth doesn't mean it's not still in usable condition.
To each is own, I guess. Personally, if I remove a girls pants only to see something that resembles the mouth of a Predator (or a cavern like Phil posted), I'm not going anywhere near that shit. That bitch is walking home.
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post #42 of 96
5/11/08 at 1:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
That bitch is WALKING home.
Only if she slings her labia over her shoulders.
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post #43 of 96
5/11/08 at 2:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
Vaginas are invincible. Just because hers probably looks like a Predator's mouth doesn't mean it's not still in usable condition.
Kegels, people, Kegels...or not. No amount of Kegels could ever fix a cavern.
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post #44 of 96
5/12/08 at 2:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham View Post
"Negative...Negative... It didn't go in. It just impacted on the
surface."
You have to be a really shitty pilot to miss the exhaust port on this woman!
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post #45 of 96
5/12/08 at 2:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg Clark View Post
Maybe the bomb will be IN ITS RIBCAGE!
Only way that happens is if the guy had a beer and cheeted on his wife.
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post #46 of 96
5/12/08 at 3:21pm
Maybe not the best idea to use metaphors combining quivers, bows, arrows, and babies with people who are notorious for taking things too literally.

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post #47 of 96
5/12/08 at 4:57pm
Even the Kennedy's stopped at some point.
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post #48 of 96
5/12/08 at 5:10pm
Quote:
They're domestic warriors in the battle against what they see as forty years of destruction wrought by women's liberation: contraception, women's careers, abortion, divorce, homosexuality and child abuse, in that order.
So, in other words, Child Abuse is bad, but not nearly as bad (4 pegs down in fact) as a woman having a career? HOLY SHIT. Literally.
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post #49 of 96
5/12/08 at 5:45pm
And apparently two guys fuckin is worse than beating your child. Nice work there Jesus freaks.
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post #50 of 96
5/12/08 at 5:56pm
Hitler would have been proud of them. After all she qualifies for a "Mutterkreuz" mulitple times.

And these quiver people are the scum of the earth. The religious nutcases in your country scare the shit out of me. Lovely how they degrade women to fucking birth machines. So women are per definition the ones to blame for divorce? Bitch, please. People that believe that "opens and closes the womb on a case-by-case basis" should be raped with an umbrella on daily basis.
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