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Two more Darwin Awards nominees

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 30
That is so STUPID.
post #3 of 30

I get to use this again!

post #4 of 30
In this my sympathy is with the train driver. I bet he isn't gonna get a good night's sleep for months. Retards.
post #5 of 30
Also, they'll most likely only qualify for honorable mentions.
post #6 of 30
Yeah.... unfortunately, not Darwin Awards worthy. They'd have to have died or been rendered incapable of bearing children for that to happen. Survival of the fittest, you see.

How much restful sleep are you getting on train tracks, anyway?
post #7 of 30
I've heard the rumbling of the approaching train is a cheap way to simulate a massaging mattress.




...just what I've heard, mind you.
post #8 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
How much restful sleep are you getting on train tracks, anyway?
They're probably those kinds of assholes who like to brag that they can drop off to sleep anywhere in an instant. "Oh, I can drop off to sleep with a train rumbling past my window!" "Oh yeah? Well, I can drop off to sleep on the train TRACKS."
post #9 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
They're probably those kinds of assholes who like to brag that they can drop off to sleep anywhere in an instant. "Oh, I can drop off to sleep with a train rumbling past my window!" "Oh yeah? Well, I can drop off to sleep on the train TRACKS."
Classic case of one ups?
post #10 of 30
Wait 'till it turns out they were re-enacting the Hancock trailer.
post #11 of 30
Who wants to bet the parents sue the train company?
post #12 of 30
Hey, speaking of train-damage, does anyone remember that weird spate of "BANNED FROM TV!!!!" videos that came out in the late '90s? I recall that in the ads for one of them (which was omnipresent on Fox, if I remember correctly), it shows this grainy footage of some lunatic woman running toward the tracks just as a train is approaching. Of course, just as the woman makes First Contact with the approaching locomotive, the commercial taunts us by putting a huge CENSORED! sticker over the carnage, cutting to something else. Man, that woman must have been hamburgerized.
post #13 of 30
I believe you can get the full video online.

Also, I'll be waiting for people that fail to kill themselves to blame it on M. Night's latest piece of crap movie. Cause you know only stupid suicidal people will see it.
post #14 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Also, I'll be waiting for people that fail to kill themselves to blame it on M. Night's latest piece of crap movie. Cause you know only stupid suicidal people will see it.
I read the story and my immediate thought was failed suicide attempt. Who the fuck sunbathes and falls asleep on a railroad trestle? I'm calling it as a couple of young girls who, for whatever reason, made a suicide pact and freaked out at the last second but couldn't get out of the way in time.
post #15 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
If I remember correctly, it shows this grainy footage of some lunatic woman running toward the tracks just as a train is approaching...
Thanks for resurrecting that from the dark corners of my memory. God, that woman seriously must have died instantly.
post #16 of 30
Running head on into a speeding train qualifies as more than just instant death. It probably re-kills your ancestors all the way back to your great-grandparents.
post #17 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Spunkmeyer View Post
Or the need for both pairs of shoes. Say, maybe they can split a pair between them now.
post #18 of 30
I find it hilarious that one of them was named "Destiny".
post #19 of 30
I thought this would be about a hobo related train death, I am quite disappointed.
post #20 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abbott & Prospero View Post
I read the story and my immediate thought was failed suicide attempt. Who the fuck sunbathes and falls asleep on a railroad trestle? I'm calling it as a couple of young girls who, for whatever reason, made a suicide pact and freaked out at the last second but couldn't get out of the way in time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg
I find it hilarious that one of them was named "Destiny".
This has all the makings of a Hallmark 'Movie-of-the-Week'...Maybe we could get myers87 to whip up one of his tantalising posters...complete with appropriate tag-line!

I wonder what he'd choose...?
post #21 of 30
What if Destiny was not meant to walk?
post #22 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
Hey, speaking of train-damage, does anyone remember that weird spate of "BANNED FROM TV!!!!" videos that came out in the late '90s? I recall that in the ads for one of them (which was omnipresent on Fox, if I remember correctly), it shows this grainy footage of some lunatic woman running toward the tracks just as a train is approaching. Of course, just as the woman makes First Contact with the approaching locomotive, the commercial taunts us by putting a huge CENSORED! sticker over the carnage, cutting to something else. Man, that woman must have been hamburgerized.
I rented that tape went it came out, the woman was basically turned into a rag doll. Peripheral vision, don't leave home without it.
post #23 of 30
I wonder if she was a fan of The Sound.
post #24 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham View Post
This has all the makings of a Hallmark 'Movie-of-the-Week'...Maybe we could get myers87 to whip up one of his tantalising posters...complete with appropriate tag-line!

I wonder what he'd choose...?
"Hopping along in the footsteps of 'Stand By Me' . . . "
post #25 of 30
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...n4144807.shtml

This little girl definitely deserves a runner up award.
post #26 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...n4144807.shtml

This little girl definitely deserves a runner up award.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mega Brand's Response
Mega Brands was saddened to learn that a child sustained injury from ingesting a large number of toy parts, some of which apparently contained magnets. While we have not been able to confirm whether the toy involved was a MEGA Brands product, it is clear this was a highly unusual and isolated situation and is not indicative of any problem with Mega Brands' magnetic construction toys currently on the market. In general, if a child swallows 30 pieces of any toy, it is likely that it will result in harm regardless of the toy in question.
Ha!
post #27 of 30
post #28 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Oh, god, the sheer glee I felt just clicking that link, let alone reading it.
post #29 of 30
The whole lot of you are missing the point of a Darwin award.

The candidate has to do the rest of the gene pool a favor by removing themself from it...unless this guy gets a life-threatening infection from the injury and bites the big one or something, he's just, unfortunately, a normal, living moron.
post #30 of 30
Oh, I know, they have to remove themselves from the gene pool. But admit it, the links are fun.
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