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Sam Strange Remembers...

post #1 of 540
6/2/08 at 12:23pm
Thread Starter 
Hello everyone here at CHUD.COM! My name is Sam Strange, the greatest filmmaker in the world.
You know, after thirty-odd years making films, I have never had the time to enjoy nostalgia.
Well that time of never having time is at an end, and now I've got all the time in the world.
How? I simply reverse-engineered time and made a couple pots more of it.
That's how things happen in Hollywood.
Anyway, my first walk down memory lane is up for your viewing pleasure.
This one's all about a little script I wrote called JUNO...

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/480/S...mbersJUNO.html
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post #2 of 540
6/2/08 at 4:27pm
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Dear Ma,

Remember when I made that movie, MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS?
No? Me neither. Now we can remember it together through
the magic of nostalgic words!

Love,
Sam Strange


http://chud.com/articles/blogs/493/S...039S-OPUS.html
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post #3 of 540
6/2/08 at 5:37pm
Aloha Mr. Samstrange!

I just wanted to thank you for peeling back the layers of that onion (I would have said banana, but my mother says people make a whore-mouth when they imagine a peeled banana...) popularly known as "Hollywood USA!". Your writing is elegant & insightful, & inspires me to aspire to be elegant & insightful, like if Hawkeye on "M.A.S.H" cleaned up his act & quit being such a smart mouth to his boss. Anyway, keep up the great work, oh, & also, you should make vegetarians the bad guys in one of your movies, because I've about had it with their stupid crap already!


Rock.

M.
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post #4 of 540
6/3/08 at 1:15am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Howdy! Sam Strange here. Just wanted to let you know that I remembered
a couple more movies I made. One is actually being made as we speak,
but that doesn't mean I can't remember what's been done on it so far.

Here you go. Love them in the way your babysitter would never let you.

First up, my memories of a wonderful little movie I made called THE SANDLOT:

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/483/S...E-SANDLOT.html

And last, a set report from the highly anticipated TRANSFORMERS 2:

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/491/S...FORMERS-2.html

Hope to hear from and see you soon!
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post #5 of 540
6/4/08 at 1:38pm
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Good morning everyone! I just remembered a very
personal movie I made called Encino Man. It's a movie
about class struggle in California. It is also very much
about swimming pools.

Have at it!

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/523/S...NCINO-MAN.html

Also, if you want to check out my myspace page
(even though I've made fun of such things) you
can find that here:

http://www.myspace.com/samuelstrange

Hope to see you all in the future!

ps. If there is any film you would like me to remember,
let me know, and I'll have my people see if I made it
or not.
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post #6 of 540
6/4/08 at 3:49pm
Okay, I have to admit - this is a great concept for a CHUD blog. I've been reading each entry and each one has been great.


By the way, I do have a suggestion. Do you happen to remember Gotcha!, that 80s paintball and pseudo-spy thriller flick with Anthony Edwards?

Keep up the good work!
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post #7 of 540
6/4/08 at 8:40pm
I saw a sneak preview of that movie.

Holy crap, it was AWESOME.

Except that it really, really sucked.



Rock.

M.
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post #8 of 540
6/6/08 at 1:47am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Well, I just remembered Reality Bites.
If this entry isn't as light-hearted as
usual, it's because the film makes me
so many different kinds of angry.
It's like the Baskin-Robbins of
pissing me off!

Enjoy.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/544/S...ITY-BITES.html
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post #9 of 540
6/6/08 at 3:02pm
Another great entry. I laughed many times.
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post #10 of 540
6/6/08 at 4:10pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks, Don S. I have Gotcha! at number one on my netflix queue. We'll see how it goes. The title alone is pretty promising.
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post #11 of 540
6/7/08 at 2:01pm
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

I made a monster movie and didn't show it to you.
It was called Cloverfield. Anyone who enjoyed it
must have a superb imagination.


http://chud.com/articles/blogs/570/S...OVERFIELD.html
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post #12 of 540
6/7/08 at 11:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Strange View Post
He leans down to talk louder, but he accidentally eats some and they taste like veggies.
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/570/S...OVERFIELD.html
I laughed so frikkin' hard at that sentence for several minutes. I'm still hurting from the laughter.

This has got to be my favorite so far. I love how your telling of the plot made it seem like a children's story. I was literally picturing those big, dopey illustrations like you find in The Little Golden Books for children.

It's official: I love this blog. I hope more people are reading this than just me, because it's worth reading.

Great job.
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post #13 of 540
6/8/08 at 8:06pm
Thread Starter 
I'm so happy that you're into this. Hopefully other people are reading it too. In any event, I'm going 100mph on this for as long as I'm allowed to.
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post #14 of 540
6/8/08 at 8:28pm
Quote:
Part of what makes it revolutionary is that you don't know you're being gypped.
Ya know, I think most of Hollywood operates on this mistaken principle.
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post #15 of 540
6/8/08 at 9:11pm
Fuck me, this is good stuff.
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post #16 of 540
6/8/08 at 9:28pm
That was hilarious. Nice work.
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post #17 of 540
6/8/08 at 9:49pm
Thread Starter 
Chaves-I love Hollywood. It fails in such odd ways,
kind of like a neurotic puppy dog that walks in front
of you constantly trying to second guess which way
you're going to turn.

As for Cloverfield, they made a monster movie and
pointed the camera 45 degrees in the other direction.
I've been pissed off every since.
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post #18 of 540
6/8/08 at 9:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Strange View Post
I've been pissed off every since.
I couldn't tell.
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post #19 of 540
6/8/08 at 10:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Strange View Post
Chaves-I love Hollywood. It fails in such odd ways,
kind of like a neurotic puppy dog that walks in front
of you constantly trying to second guess which way
you're going to turn.
.
I certainly don't want to raise the level of discourse here, but I DO recall a quote from someone or other (perhaps that inimitable cranky old bastard Harlan Ellison?) about how, when you really get inside the movie industry and see the meddling group-think, second-guessing, and various other flaming hoops that even the BEST projects have to deal with, it is surprising that ANY good movies get made.
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post #20 of 540
6/8/08 at 11:23pm
Just discovered this blog today- gotta say, its kinda hilarious. I'm now reading the rest now!
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post #21 of 540
6/8/08 at 11:35pm
Awesome. People are starting to catch on.
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post #22 of 540
6/9/08 at 1:05am
I don't know how long you can keep it up, but this?

Quote:
By way of cute car wreck, she meets Ben Stiller who is funny, successful, and owns a Dr. Zaius statue (I'll get back to this statue in a bit). He is everything women who watch Sex and the City long for. But because this is a movie where money beyond marginal utility=LAME, she isn't quite sure about his prospects. They go on a date and he earns some heavy negative points by being really charming and nice. He even gets her a job, a favor she repays by dumping him and going home to fuck the lice-infected sore sleeping on her couch instead. That's pretty much how the movie ends. We filmed an epilogue set ten years later where the now toothless and crack-addicted couple casually steal orange juice and loafs of bread from WalMart, but the studio deemed it "too real".

So in retrospect, what was once a light comedy has become a light tragedy. Time has changed the hero to a villain and vice versa. In that way, I've always thought of Reality Bites as an unofficial sequel to The Merchant of Venice. Shakespeare and I both know what we're doing when it comes to future interpretations.
This is genius.
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post #23 of 540
6/9/08 at 2:18am
Thread Starter 
Shylock fucking deserves his pound of flesh! Everyone else in that play is a piece of shit.

I've always wanted to write a script where half of Shakespeare's badass characters break out of prison or something, and the other half is like the posse that has to bring them down. Wouldn't that be awesome?
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post #24 of 540
6/9/08 at 2:30am
Question to keep in mind when watching "Gotcha!"-

Is it hair loss alone that prevented Anthony Edwards from potentially becoming an action star with an action franchise of his own? Because it didn't stop Bruce Willis. Or is it because Willis had that awesome record "The Return Of Bruno"? Because that record is awesome. I bet it's the soundtrack to the majority of Jimmy Buffett's dreams. Maybe Anthony Edwards should have made a party record, something like "Tony's Sugar Shack Jams!", or maybe "Ant'O'Nee's Babymakers- Beyond Renob-Dome!"

For the record, "renob" is "boner" backwards.

Anyway, I can't wait to see what you think of "Gotcha!"


Rock.

M.
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post #25 of 540
6/9/08 at 1:21pm
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

I have just posted my memories of The Adventures of Milo and Otis.
It's a cute little piece of film that is very lucky to exist at all.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/585/S...-amp-OTIS.html
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post #26 of 540
6/9/08 at 7:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by markrock View Post
Is it hair loss alone that prevented Anthony Edwards from potentially becoming an action star with an action franchise of his own?
I think it's more the fact that Anthony Edwards has all the muscle tone of a newborn infant. Action stars be CUT, yo, not soft.
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post #27 of 540
6/9/08 at 8:59pm
Thread Starter 
Holy shit, I've gotta see this Gotcha! There won't be any jokes left by the time you guys are done with it.
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post #28 of 540
6/10/08 at 1:45pm
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

This one's not about any movie, so consider it kind of a freebee.
Sometimes things are just free. I don't like it anymore than you
do.
In other news, I've decided on a schedule for these posts. Every
other day, sounds about right to me. I wish I could do more, but
Transformers 2 is simply taking up too much of my time.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/602/S...M-STRANGE.html
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post #29 of 540
6/12/08 at 10:51am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Today I remember Hannibal, which I made
as a response to all the over-love Silence
of the Lambs was getting.

It's a pretty messy movie, so you might
want to wear plastic while you read about it.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/623/S...sHANNIBAL.html
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post #30 of 540
6/12/08 at 11:55am
Love this blog.
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post #31 of 540
6/12/08 at 12:11pm
Yeah - I'm amazed that you can keep it up. Always a few laugh out loud moments in each of them for me.

Loved:

"Pigs like to eat people, so imagine their excitement when they find out they get to eat a person who's guts are filled with already chewed people. To them, Hannibal's kind of like a Hot Pocket."

Plus, the whole Hannibal pig disguise.

But the "EVOO" mention wrangled the biggest chuckle out of me, for some reason.
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post #32 of 540
6/12/08 at 12:16pm
At first, I saw his picture and kind of skimmed his first blogs. "Who is this shtick-y douchebag?" I asked myself.

Turns out he's hilarious. What a great surprise.
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post #33 of 540
6/12/08 at 12:23pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks a lot you guys.
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post #34 of 540
6/12/08 at 4:11pm
Sorry I've been quiet for the past couple of days. Loved the last two installments. I'm glad people are starting to discover this blog. Great stuff.
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post #35 of 540
6/13/08 at 11:05pm
Thread Starter 

A little update...

To Don S. and markrock-

The Gotcha! memory is written.
Look for it to pop up Thursday the 19th.

To everyone else-

There are a lot of people writing wonderful blogs here at chud.com.
I'm afraid the nature of my blog makes it difficult to keep up with a daily
post schedule like everyone else.

From now on, the Sam Strange Remembers... blog will post three days
a week. Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday mornings. I try to keep two
or three entries ahead of myself for revision, but that also gives me
padding just in case any crazy life-crap comes up.

What I'm trying to say is, you can count on there being a new post
on these three days. I wish I could do one everyday, but, short as they
are, they take a lot of time to write. If you read my blog, I thought you
might appreciate knowing that there is a set schedule to anticipate.

Other than that, thanks a lot for reading and writing such nice comments!
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post #36 of 540
6/15/08 at 10:20am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

These are my memories of The Perfect Storm,
a movie about mankind's constant struggle
against nature. Nature wins.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/655/S...ECT-STORM.html
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post #37 of 540
6/17/08 at 10:58am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Gotcha!
"Why did you do that?"
Gotcha!
"You ruined my shirt!"
Gotcha!
"Get outta here!"
Gotcha!
"No! STOP!"
Gotcha!
gurgle, gurgle...death rattle

This one goes out to Don S.!!!

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/680/S...ersGOTCHA.html
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post #38 of 540
6/17/08 at 5:44pm
That... was awesome. Man, I haven't seen that movie in years. Oddly, your write-up almost matches exactly the way I remember it. Still, it's one of those stupid 80s flicks I love to watch from time to time, if only because I was crushing really hard on Linda Fiorentino when I was a pre-pubescent.

Too bad she's a man.


Great job! And thanks for the shout-out!
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post #39 of 540
6/17/08 at 5:55pm
Thread Starter 
Gotcha! has the most out of left field use of nipples I've ever seen in a film.
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post #40 of 540
6/19/08 at 9:13am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Little Miss Sunshine. What can I say?
Money makes us do thinks we are not
always proud of.

I'm glad so many people liked the movie
even though making it was an act of
sarcasm.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/704/S...-SUNSHINE.html
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post #41 of 540
6/19/08 at 11:41am
"The son's quirk is that he wants to fly planes but can't because he's retarded." I want you in my family.
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post #42 of 540
6/22/08 at 1:03pm
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

Twister! Whadda whirlwind of excitement. This is the movie where nature finally learns: he's just not that into you.

A note...this memory is long. You might want to bring a snack.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/732/S...rsTWISTER.html
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post #43 of 540
6/24/08 at 11:14am
Thread Starter 
And now...my Oscar winning masterpiece...
BRAVEHEART!!!

William Wallace paints his face blue
and sets out to kill everyman alive.
*Spoiler alert*
He succeeds.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/757/S...RAVEHEART.html
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post #44 of 540
6/24/08 at 11:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Strange View Post
Twister! Whadda whirlwind of excitement. This is the movie where nature finally learns: he's just not that into you.

A note...this memory is long. You might want to bring a snack.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/732/S...rsTWISTER.html

Sorry for the delay on this one. I just read it this morning. Another great entry! How in the hell are you able to keep this up?
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post #45 of 540
6/24/08 at 12:03pm
And now I'm caught up. Another great entry for the Braveheart movie. The Noshanks line killed me. That is why I'll be reading these as a ghost from now on.
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post #46 of 540
6/24/08 at 7:17pm
I know these take a lot of work to do, and the very least we can do is throw our appreciation for them as you go, so now caught up, I give you a many great thanks. Great work here, as always!
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post #47 of 540
6/26/08 at 9:38am
Thread Starter 

Sam Strange Remembers...

I present to you: Requiem for a Dream,
the story of what happens to every
person who does drugs. Ever. Even once.
THAT is how bad and awful and horrible
drugs are.
Don't forget that coffee is a drug.
Don't forget your TV either.
If your girlfriend is really hot,
she's a drug too.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/780/S...R-A-DREAM.html
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post #48 of 540
6/26/08 at 2:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Strange View Post
I present to you: Requiem for a Dream,
the story of what happens to every
person who does drugs. Ever. Even once.
THAT is how bad and awful and horrible
drugs are.
Don't forget that coffee is a drug.
Don't forget your TV either.
If your girlfriend is really hot,
she's a drug too.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/780/S...R-A-DREAM.html
"the mom is played by that little girl from The Exorcist", actually it's the mom from the Exorcist.

Yes, I do get this all a joke.... just not a very funny one(pretending you made the movie, ummmm ok, whatever). You take apart the plot of a movie and exagerrate certain points for comdeic effect. I think it would help if the movies you chose were actually worth being ripped on. Funny once, maybe twice, but if that is all your blog is... you can only go back to the well so many times before it dries up.

If people like this stuff, more power to you. Just one person's opinion.

Insert seemingly clever retort(in character, I assume) below.
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post #49 of 540
6/26/08 at 2:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by RCA View Post
"the mom is played by that little girl from The Exorcist", actually it's the mom from the Exorcist.
WAOH YOU TOTLLY FACT CHECKED HIS ASS,!
please go away
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post #50 of 540
6/26/08 at 2:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RCA View Post
"the mom is played by that little girl from The Exorcist", actually it's the mom from the Exorcist.
...not to mention the fact that it's Marlon NOT Damon Wayans.
Man, am I embarrassed!

Well, at least you thought it was funny the first time, and maybe a little the second time. Better than not at all, right? Right?

I admit it's a somewhat limited concept, but it makes ME laugh, and that's the only quality control tactic I know of. I'm very sorry you don't like it, and I appreciate that you even gave it a shot in the first place.
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