CC: I Spit On YOur Remake

That sound you hear is the metallic clank of a thousand yuppies throwing their now outdated copies of tsun su's "the Art of War" into the bin.

Can't wait for the new take on the 20 odd minutes in duration multiple rape scene.... Do most people even know about this movie, does the name really buy them anything? This really is a ridiculously bad idea for a remake. You can't sell it to the masses.

Well, they same can be said of the other exploitation titles they're remaking like Last House On The Left. It's just a bad idea. All the good horror properties have already been taken so they are moving on to this. I really hope these fall flat and can't imagine how they wouldn't. Half the appeal of these films was discovering them with friends and seeing just how shocking they were or weren't. I can't imagine people actually wanting to sit through R-rated studio remakes of this stuff.

My point is more so as rape in one of the last things guaranteed to make most of your audience uncomfortable, I kind of doubt they'll be able to mainstream (or sanitize) the rape in an I Spit... remake while maintaining the reason people sought out the original. Do you think the MPAA would give a rated R to the original today? They'll have to make it a generic revenge flick, one where I'm assuming the rape is still at it's center, and will probably dissuade anyone who recognizes the name from bringing along their friends or dates to the theater. Who's the audience they'll think will show up for this?

Last House on the Left is far more variant in its tone than I Spit..., and more approachable as a remake.

Maybe they'll go more mainstream and take the 2 GIRLS 1 CUP approach.


I SHIT ON YOUR GRAVE


EDIT: Apparently there's already a theme song for the hypothetical soundtrack, a lovely diddy from a band called "Autopsy":

I shit on your grave
I piss on your name
I puke on your headstone
Your mother I rape

I shit on your grave

Your infant I slaughter
Your home I will burn
Your funeral I blaspheme
I spit in your urn

I'm assuming with this remake, that the attackers will be well chiseled men, instead of the everyman hairy assed fuckers that were in the original.

How does one "top" the bath-tub castration scene?

DON'T tempt me.

By all means let's hear it, good Sir...

I think I'll just wait for the too-naughty-for-theaters Special "Consensual" Edition:

I SPIT IN MY HAND

But who will play the loveable retard?

I guaran-damn-tee you that it will be a college dorm date-rape situation and only be the first 15 minutes of the movie, instead of the original's entire first hour.

Cuba Gooding Junior?

It's true, there's no topping the dong detachment. Love how he doesn't realize at first.

Someone already remade it apparently...

A studio remake of one of the worst films I've ever seen? Well, I've been telling Hollywood for years that if they're going to remake movies, they should remake shitty ones and try to make them better. By default (nothing left to remake), they're finally listening.

Nah...plenty of properties left to rape and pillage.

I'll put even money on someone trying to talk Clooney or Nick Cage into redoing The Maltese Falcon by 2012.