New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The Secret

post #1 of 92
6/12/08 at 11:58pm
Thread Starter 
I think my roommate is about to join a cult. He taped the Oprah Winfrey show today to learn about The Secret, which is some hokey spiritual quest in which you can get everything you want in life just by wishing it to be. Some lady wrote a list of qualities she wanted in a man. And voila, she meets the man of her dreams several months later. Another started a business and dreamed of lots of clients contacting her, and apparently the next morning her inbox was flooded. Are these people for real? Is my roommate for real?

I guess I'll stop being Negative Nancy now. If I put some positive thoughts into the universe, the world will be mine!
Reply
post #2 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:03am
It's called "The Law of Attraction" - the positive attracts the positive.

Personally, I think it's a load of hooey, but I also think that working on staying positive in terms of attitude and expectations isn't the WORST thing you could be doing. Being bitter and cynical is easy.
Reply
post #3 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:08am
Thread Starter 
Positive thinking is always good. But if bad things happen to you, your first reaction shouldn't be I wasn't think enough positive thoughts. I'm all for personal responsibility, but sometimes shit happens.
Reply
post #4 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:10am
Last summer half of Los Angeles had a collective brain fart and became obsessed with this thing. I had two people try to give me the DVD. I watched five minutes and threw it in the trash. The peak of the stupidity was when I was at a pool party and a girl explained to me that there would only be a big earthquake in Los Angeles if everyone remained negative. If they truly believed there'd never be any earthquakes in LA...there'd never be any earthquakes.
Reply
post #5 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:25am
Thread Starter 
Okay I've been Googling "Law of Attraction". This is fucked:

Quote:
Do children, babies, and/or animals put out intentions?

No. Your own body doesn’t even put out intentions — only your consciousness does. You’re the only one who has intentions, so what takes precedence is what YOU intend for the children, babies, and animals in your reality. Every thought is an intention, so however you think about the other beings in your reality is what you’ll eventually manifest for them. Keep in mind that beliefs are hierarchical, so if you have a high order belief that reality is random and unpredictable and out of your control, then that intention will trump other intentions of which you’re less certain. It’s your entire collection of thoughts that dictates how your reality manifests.

If a child is abused, does that mean the child intended it in some way?

No. It means YOU intended it. You intend child abuse to manifest simply by thinking about it. The more you think about child abuse (or any other subject), the more you’ll see it expand in your reality. Whatever you think about expands, and not just in the narrow space of your avatar but in all of physical reality.
Umm...
Reply
post #6 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:27am
If there's an earthquake tomorrow, I'm going to kick your ass.
Reply
post #7 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:27am
My wife started to buy into this, DVR'ed the episode, and made me watch it. I couldn't wipe the smirk off my face, even when she bribed me with the promise of sex to keep an open mind. You know how they have all the testimonials from people, and they list their "credentials" under their name as they're speaking? Some were "Nuclear Physicist" (or so they claimed), "Author", "Futurist" (whatever the hell that means), but the thing that finally made me giggle out loud was the guy with the dreads labeled "Visionary". What the FUCK is a "visionary"? It sounds impressive, but like there wouldn't be much actual work involved. How does one go about becoming a "Visionary" as one's occupation?

My wife turned off the program in disgust at that point. Needless to say, the bribe was not consummated.
Reply
post #8 of 92
6/13/08 at 2:57am
It sounds like yet another way of shirking responsibility when bad things happen and believing in some bullshit when things go right.

And what the hell kind of secret is positive thinking, anyways? Hasn't everyone preached that since time began?
Reply
post #9 of 92
6/13/08 at 3:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
...but the thing that finally made me giggle out loud was the guy with the dreads labeled "Visionary". What the FUCK is a "visionary"? It sounds impressive, but like there wouldn't be much actual work involved. How does one go about becoming a "Visionary" as one's occupation?
Was he dressed like this?

Reply
post #10 of 92
6/13/08 at 3:38am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usbNJMUZSwo

that's all i have to say.
Reply
post #11 of 92
6/13/08 at 3:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
"Futurist" (whatever the hell that means)
Tony Stark/Iron Man.
Reply
post #12 of 92
6/13/08 at 9:20am
That book, and everyone that likes and praises this book, are retards that should be put to death to save our species. I'm all for positive thinking, but when a book tells you that when you get sick, like fucking cancer, that it's your own fault, and you believe this shit, you deserve to die.
Reply
post #13 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Some lady wrote a list of qualities she wanted in a man. And voila, she meets the man of her dreams several months later.
It is my passionately held belief that Oprah Winfrey could start a cult and no one would notice for months. It may have already happened.

Diva, the example that you provide above slays me. It's pretty apparent that this woman was so unself-conscious and just grabbing at whatever men expressed even the slightest interest. She clearly had zero idea what she actually wanted. But then she sat down, put five minutes' thought into what kind of person she wanted to be with, and - imagine that - there he is! *gasp*

Positive thinking is important, positive action is more important, and neither is guaranteed to change the world. Welcome to adulthood.
Reply
post #14 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:05am
Anybody who believes in "The Secret" deserves no respect. I remember Oprah's shows on it- a figure like her should live up to some fucking responsibility and stand up against this shit, not promote it. This has been a best-seller since it's release, so thousands of people WEEKLY are purchasing the book. Pathetic.
Reply
post #15 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:34am
Thread Starter 
Oprah believes in it. She started off the show with some story about watching kids playing with bubbles and wanting some. And then going back to her office and seeing a bubble wand from Tiffany's sitting on her desk. (By the way, the irony of a Tiffany bubble wand escaped her). So she asks her assistant if she got them for her. And get this, the assistant says, the bubbles and wand had been there for years. Oprah just didn't notice them. ???!!!???!! I walked out of the room after that.
Reply
post #16 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Oprah believes in it. She started off the show with some story about watching kids playing with bubbles and wanting some. And then going back to her office and seeing a bubble wand from Tiffany's sitting on her desk. (By the way, the irony of a Tiffany bubble wand escaped her). So she asks her assistant if she got them for her. And get this, the assistant says, the bubbles and wand had been there for years. Oprah just didn't notice them. ???!!!???!! I walked out of the room after that.
The positive power of wishful thinking dramatically improves when you're rich enough to own everything and completely forget about that Tiffany bubble wand sitting on your desk.
Reply
post #17 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
IPositive thinking is important, positive action is more important, and neither is guaranteed to change the world. Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, adulthood fucking sucks. Where're my summer vacations, dammit?
Reply
post #18 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
Oprah believes in it. She started off the show with some story about watching kids playing with bubbles and wanting some. And then going back to her office and seeing a bubble wand from Tiffany's sitting on her desk. (By the way, the irony of a Tiffany bubble wand escaped her). So she asks her assistant if she got them for her. And get this, the assistant says, the bubbles and wand had been there for years. Oprah just didn't notice them. ???!!!???!! I walked out of the room after that.
Oprah: I'd like a bear trap

Assistant: Oprah you have no legs, you lost them in a horrific bear trap accident

Oprah: amazing
Reply
post #19 of 92
6/13/08 at 10:48am
How soon until 'The Secret' becomes a Penn and Teller Bullshit' episode? Hell, they probably already did one and I missed it already...
Reply
post #20 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:05pm
I was given a copy of the DVD for Christmas! From one of my favorite and closest friends in the world (who shall remain nameless, because if I ever mention her by name on this board, I don't want you to hate her). It's still in the plastic - never watched it. Don't really plan to. The fact that it's Oprah-riffic turns me off of it instantly, to say nothing of the fact that it sounds like bullshit. I mean, I'm all for the power of positive thinking and acting - great, it certainly can't hurt. As Zooey said, if it works, it works, but that's not some 100% foolproof guarantee.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Oprah believes in it. She started off the show with some story about watching kids playing with bubbles and wanting some. And then going back to her office and seeing a bubble wand from Tiffany's sitting on her desk. (By the way, the irony of a Tiffany bubble wand escaped her). So she asks her assistant if she got them for her. And get this, the assistant says, the bubbles and wand had been there for years. Oprah just didn't notice them. ???!!!???!! I walked out of the room after that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid View Post
Oprah: I'd like a bear trap

Assistant: Oprah you have no legs, you lost them in a horrific bear trap accident

Oprah: amazing
You guys are awesome. (See? Something positive!)
Reply
post #21 of 92
6/13/08 at 12:24pm
So, I guess "The Road" is the only worthwhile thing Oprah ever reccomended?
Reply
post #22 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:03pm
This is OFN. Oprah ditched the Secret and is now onto this Eckhart Tolle guy and his New World stuff. I guess there are weekly web classes or some such nonsense held to discuss the ideas in the book, too. Oprah's cult DID start months ago, Zooey.

My wife bought the books and she asked me to read them. It's all super-pretentious spiritual mumbo-jumbo that states the obvious. It's halfway entertaining in a "well, DUH. I can't believe you're making millions with this stuff" way.
Reply
post #23 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by horrid View Post
Oprah: I'd like a bear trap

Assistant: Oprah you have no legs, you lost them in a horrific bear trap accident

Oprah: amazing
Glorious.
Reply
post #24 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
So, I guess "The Road" is the only worthwhile thing Oprah ever reccomended?
That and the revised Body Builder's guide aka (body builder's bible).



BTW, I love stuff like this. It just shows how gullible and dumb the majority of us humans are. Gives me something more to laugh about.
Reply
post #25 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
So, I guess "The Road" is the only worthwhile thing Oprah ever reccomended?
Only if you think Faulkner, Marquez, Eugenides, Morrison, Wiesel, Tolstoy, McCullers, and Steinbeck aren't worthwhile. But, then, you probably shouldn't need Oprah to recommend most of those authors.
Reply
post #26 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
This is OFN. Oprah ditched the Secret and is now onto this Eckhart Tolle guy and his New World stuff. I guess there are weekly web classes or some such nonsense held to discuss the ideas in the book, too. Oprah's cult DID start months ago, Zooey.
No, no, no. I mean there's going to come a time when she can no longer sustain the cognitive dissonance created by alternating anti-materialist, self-help pap with her "Favorite Things" show. Her brain is going to break and she's going to start dressing in white robes and outlining her 14-step path to spiritual freedom. She will have millions of followers before any of the uninitiated stop channel surfing long enough to realize that she's asking people to ritually bleed themselves. Tolle and his ilk are just stepping stones.

I watch Oprah now and again (I find it oddly soothing, another sign that this woman should be a cult leader) and, from what I can gather, there's basically no difference between Tolle and The Secret. Nonsensical will-to-power garbage, creative visualization, and narcissism that would make a clinically diagnosed sociopath blush.
Reply
post #27 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:34pm
That bubble wand story is hilarious.

And kind of horrifying.

I think Oprah has many good qualities, but it's disappointing to hear that she jumped on this bit of craziness.
Reply
post #28 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:36pm
There's a section in "The Secret" which suggests that if you want to lose weight you should stop looking at fat people.
Reply
post #29 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:38pm
All my unfulfilled early teenage fantasies about a threesome with Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are proof enough for me that this "positive thinking" crap does not work.
Reply
post #30 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
No, no, no. I mean there's going to come a time when she can no longer sustain the cognitive dissonance created by alternating anti-materialist, self-help pap with her "Favorite Things" show. Her brain is going to break and she's going to start dressing in white robes and outlining her 14-step path to spiritual freedom. She will have millions of followers before any of the uninitiated stop channel surfing long enough to realize that she's asking people to ritually bleed themselves. Tolle and his ilk are just stepping stones.

I watch Oprah now and again (I find it oddly soothing, another sign that this woman should be a cult leader) and, from what I can gather, there's basically no difference between Tolle and The Secret. Nonsensical will-to-power garbage, creative visualization, and narcissism that would make a clinically diagnosed sociopath blush.
"Look under your chairs... SALVATION!!!"
Reply
post #31 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
There's a section in "The Secret" which suggests that if you want to lose weight you should stop looking at fat people.
Done!
Reply
post #32 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
There's a section in "The Secret" which suggests that if you want to lose weight you should stop looking at fat people.
Proof that this is targetted at rich people that can afford to travel outside the U.S.
Reply
post #33 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:45pm
There was an article in either Time or Newsweek during the craze that had psychology experts writing about the phenomenon. According to the experts in this article, 80% of all self-help books are actually damaging, and "The Secret" is the worst of the bunch.
Reply
post #34 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:56pm
The Pavlovian responses Oprah can generate are pretty amazing, though. There was a "things to do this summer"-themed episode a few weeks ago and Oprah tried her damnedest to point out it was NOT a "favorite things" episode but the audience didn't care. As soon as "favorite things" left her lips, regardless of the words surrounding the phrase, the entire audience started shrieking like a stadium full of banshees. At the end of the episode she gave everyone a pretty nice grill and people were pretty much falling down out of joy.
Reply
post #35 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveB View Post
Only if you think Faulkner, Marquez, Eugenides, Morrison, Wiesel, Tolstoy, McCullers, and Steinbeck aren't worthwhile.
You left out Obama.
Reply
post #36 of 92
6/13/08 at 1:57pm
I thought the positive waves effect was pretty neat.


I used to think I could remotely insert my thoughts into someone's else's mind. I was in JR High.
Reply
post #37 of 92
6/13/08 at 2:11pm
Hard for me to argue with anything Oprah believes in. Internationally famous, a good friend like Gayle King to cofide in, and a tall drink of chocolate sin like Stedman Graham to come home to. I'll keep or tell whatever secret required to gets me some of that.
Reply
post #38 of 92
6/13/08 at 2:14pm
Wow. Here we are in the 21st century in Modern America and people are buying into magic rituals from 10,000 BC. I guess it's true: everything old is new again.
Reply
post #39 of 92
6/13/08 at 2:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveB View Post
Only if you think Faulkner, Marquez, Eugenides, Morrison, Wiesel, Tolstoy, McCullers, and Steinbeck aren't worthwhile. But, then, you probably shouldn't need Oprah to recommend most of those authors.
Meh.


(kidding)
Reply
post #40 of 92
6/13/08 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blofeld View Post
There's a section in "The Secret" which suggests that if you want to lose weight you should stop looking at fat people.
Please - I'm in NY, the Land of Starving Wannabe Models, and looking at them all day long hasn't melted any additional dress sizes off my ass.

Wouldn't it be awesome if it were that easy, though? "Hey look, it's Kate Moss!" (*FA-DOOMPF!!!*) "Wow, it really works!"
Reply
post #41 of 92
6/13/08 at 2:45pm
I have a hard time imagining a more shallow, self-important, selfish way to live one's life. It makes me ill. It's mind poison.

I can't stand Oprah. Critical thinking skills, Oprah! Critical thinking skills.
Reply
post #42 of 92
6/13/08 at 3:48pm
My two favorite parts of the DVD (paraphrased):

"The way The Secret works is an exact science but it's too complicated to explain on this DVD. But does that really matter? When you plug something into the wall do you need to know the science behind electricity? If it works you don't need to know why."

Fuck you.

"Bob is a homosexual. Every day on his way to work people would harass him. When he'd get to work, his employees would make homophobic remarks and threats. I told Bob, 'You just need to think positive and believe that no one will harass you tomorrow.' On his way to work the next day, no one harassed him. And when he got to work, he find out that all the homophobic employees at his office had been fired."

...what?
Reply
post #43 of 92
6/13/08 at 3:49pm
I have a friend who's absolutely bonkers for it. She's such a sweet person that I'm not sure how to go about telling her that it's a pile of shit.
Reply
post #44 of 92
6/13/08 at 3:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
She's such a sweet person that I'm not sure how to go about telling her that it's a pile of shit.
I've burned many bridges being brutally honest with friends.
Reply
post #45 of 92
6/13/08 at 4:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean Bateman View Post
My two favorite parts of the DVD (paraphrased):

"The way The Secret works is an exact science but it's too complicated to explain on this DVD. But does that really matter? When you plug something into the wall do you need to know the science behind electricity? If it works you don't need to know why."

Fuck you.

"Bob is a homosexual. Every day on his way to work people would harass him. When he'd get to work, his employees would make homophobic remarks and threats. I told Bob, 'You just need to think positive and believe that no one will harass you tomorrow.' On his way to work the next day, no one harassed him. And when he got to work, he find out that all the homophobic employees at his office had been fired."

...what?
A good friend gave me the DVD and I have avoided watching it...until now! Christ, this should be shown at parties!
Reply
post #46 of 92
6/13/08 at 4:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean Bateman View Post
"Bob is a homosexual. Every day on his way to work people would harass him. When he'd get to work, his employees would make homophobic remarks and threats. I told Bob, 'You just need to think positive and believe that no one will harass you tomorrow.' On his way to work the next day, no one harassed him. And when he got to work, he find out that all the homophobic employees at his office had been fired."

...what?
Bob for the win with the Jedi mind trick!

Bob: "I wish they'd fire the homophobes harassing me in the office."

Boss: "Why don't we fire the homophobes harassing Bob here at the office?"
Reply
post #47 of 92
6/13/08 at 4:18pm
[QUOTE=Sean Bateman;2260014]My two favorite parts of the DVD (paraphrased):

"The way The Secret works is an exact science but it's too complicated to explain on this DVD. But does that really matter? When you plug something into the wall do you need to know the science behind electricity? If it works you don't need to know why."
QUOTE]
Man, this is awesome if you imagine Phil Hartman (as Troy Maclure) reading this.
Reply
post #48 of 92
6/13/08 at 4:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
The Pavlovian responses Oprah can generate are pretty amazing, though. There was a "things to do this summer"-themed episode a few weeks ago and Oprah tried her damnedest to point out it was NOT a "favorite things" episode but the audience didn't care. As soon as "favorite things" left her lips, regardless of the words surrounding the phrase, the entire audience started shrieking like a stadium full of banshees. At the end of the episode she gave everyone a pretty nice grill and people were pretty much falling down out of joy.
The audiences really do act like they're at a pentecostal church service. Speaking in tongues, falling all over the place, etc.

"Look under your chairs... a bag of SNAKES!"
Reply
post #49 of 92
6/13/08 at 4:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
The audiences really do act like their in an evangelical church service. Speaking in tongues, falling all over the place, etc.
She should put snakes under their chairs. I'm sure if she told the audience to reach under and grab the snake (didn't sound right) and dance around. I'm sure the audience would do it and not think twice.


Edit: Dammit Darkmite!
Reply
post #50 of 92
6/13/08 at 5:25pm
Well, I watched the DVD, and since then I've been thinking positive and held firm in my belief that Shirley Manson was going to appear at my doorway, wearing skimpy lingerie, carrying a big plate of chocolate chip cookies, and begging me to make love to her.

So far, zip. Was my DVD defective, or can I sue Oprah for false advertising?
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Misc. Culture