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He believes he can fly

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
R. Kelly acquitted on all counts in child porn case.


Quote:
CHICAGO — R. Kelly was acquitted of all charges Friday after less than a day of deliberations in his child pornography trial, ending a six-year ordeal for the R&B superstar.

Kelly dabbed his face with a handkerchief and hugged each of his four attorneys after the verdict _ not guilty on all 14 counts _ was read. The Grammy award-winning singer had faced 15 years in prison if convicted.

Minutes later, surrounded by bodyguards, he left the courthouse without comment. Dozens of fans screamed and cheered as he climbed into a waiting SUV.

Prosecutors had argued that a video tape mailed to the Chicago Sun-Times in 2002 showed Kelly engaged in graphic sex acts with a girl as young as 13 at the time. Both Kelly, 41, and the now 23-year-old alleged victim had denied they were the ones on the tape. Neither testified during the trial.
post #2 of 18
Damn, if only they had Roman Polanski pissing on Samantha Geimer's face on tape. Then he probably wouldn't have had to flee the country.
post #3 of 18
Shower him with praise, people. It's going to take a bit for him to get back into the mainstream, but once he gets going there's no stopping him.
post #4 of 18


Approves.
post #5 of 18
Space Jam was the shit when I was a kid. We watched that thing all the time in school. That is all.
post #6 of 18
Jesus, Jake.
post #7 of 18
I wish I was rich enough to pee on fourteen year old girls on video and get away with it after getting caught red... um, handed, I guess. I have no interest in actually doing so - I just wish I had that sort of money.
post #8 of 18
Little Man was used as part of his defense. Yeah.
post #9 of 18
Hmm, I would have guessed the Chewbacca Defense myself.
post #10 of 18
Not only was she 13-14 years old, but she was his goddaughter. I can only imagine what he did at her baptism.
post #11 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Will Kane View Post
Not only was she 13-14 years old, but she was his goddaughter. I can only imagine what he did at her baptism.
Nah, that was just the standard stuff.
What caused a bit of an uproar at the party were R Kelly's special Peanut Brownies.
post #12 of 18
A jelly fish had stung her on the mouth, breasts, and genitals. Mr. Kelly was simply seeking to alleviate the pain of these stings and thought this brave act should be saved on video to use as a PSA for those stung by jellyfish. He's a hero, your honor. The defense rests.
post #13 of 18
If you haven't read Slate's coverage of the case, you should be. http://www.slate.com/id/2191876/entry/2191877/
post #14 of 18
Does anyone know what the hell this thing is?

*speechless*
post #15 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter View Post
Does anyone know what the hell this thing is?

*speechless*
Worst. Sex toy. EVER.
If you're gonna do that, at least give the bastard a dick.
post #16 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
Worst. Sex toy. EVER.
If you're gonna do that, at least give the bastard a dick.
Maybe that's the point?

*shrugs*
post #17 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTSMGL View Post
Maybe that's the point?

*shrugs*
But why wouldn't they give him a dick? How's he gonna piss on the girl without one? Will he aim a catheter at her face or something? It just ain't right!
post #18 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Will Kane View Post
Not only was she 13-14 years old, but she was his goddaughter. I can only imagine what he did at her baptism.
Naahh, it probably wasn't much different than what was shown in the video.
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