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Babies Should Not Be Allowed On Planes

post #1 of 563
6/17/08 at 4:58pm
Thread Starter 
if a flight to Albuquerque goes down it's because I crashed it rather than hear these fucking babies cry.
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post #2 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:04pm
Marry me.
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post #3 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:04pm
Few things are more annoying than adults who can't stand babies crying (specially in planes) and are not smart enough to invest in noise canceling headphones or earplugs.
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post #4 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
if a flight to Albuquerque goes down it's because I crashed it rather than hear these fucking babies cry.
Agreed, if we also include guys who wear mesh tops and ripped t-shirts that expose their armpits; although I highly doubt you were a quiet baby either, Devin. Babies are human larvae; they just eat, crap and generate work for the parent, but it all pays off past the age of two, in my opinion.
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post #5 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:05pm
Ha ha. My curse is the kid kicking my seat. Last week, I swear to fucking god I went to sleep in front of a childless couple, and woke up to their conjured-out-of-thin-air toddler wailing on my seat back with his adorable, chubby feets.

At lunch today, I asked to sit somewhere else when i saw two toddlers at the next table. Got a nasty look from the hostess. This is a grown-ass restaurant, I'll go to fucking Friendly's if I want to hear your precious little cherub choke down EXPENSIVE GODDAMN FOOD THAT IS NOT MEANT FOR KIDS.

Happy flying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Few things are more annoying than adults who can't stand babies crying (specially in planes) and are not smart enough to invest in noise canceling headphones or earplugs.
Fuck that. Headphones don't drown out the kicking, the drum solos on the tray table (also attached to my seat back, L'il Keith Moon), the coughing and the germ spreading. He's 100% right - where the fuck does that kid need to fly to? Get a sitter, or an RV.
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post #6 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:06pm
Speaking of planes, what's the deal with the food there? Am I right people?
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post #7 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Marry me.
But then you could end up with a baby of your own AND a baby on airplane hating husband!
Its a trap, Lisa, a trap!
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post #8 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:06pm
That's why I alway bring my iPod even for a 40 minute flight. More important for travel than even pants.
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post #9 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Marry me.
Back off, he's mine.
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post #10 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:11pm
I'm of the mind that babies shouldn't be allowed in public, period. Keep 'em stashed away somewhere private until they stop crying and shitting themselves all the time. I shouldn't have to deal with that. After all, I'm not the one who decided I needed a tiny, needy version of myself.

Oh...and for all those parents who bring their toddlers or babies to the latest showing of a movie, knock it the fuck off. If you can't get a babysitter, you don't get to go to the movie. End of story. You forfeited your rights to do what you want when you squeezed out the little bundle o' joy.
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post #11 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:12pm
Someone really needs to photoshop Bat-Devin & Lisa in the Batplane together.
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post #12 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
Speaking of planes, what's the deal with the food there? Am I right people?
You should do stand up.


Some parents don't realize that the primary reason babies cry on flights is because their ears hurt.
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post #13 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tieman View Post
Someone really needs to photoshop Bat-Devin & Lisa in the Batplane together.
Quick! To the Litmus-Signal!*

*Or the Minsky Signal, or the Abbott & Prospero Signal. Any of those will do, really.
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post #14 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:14pm
I wish some of you would get eaten by rabid cannibal babies.
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post #15 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
You should do stand up.


Some parents don't realize that the primary reason babies cry on flights is because their ears hurt.
Some parents don't realize that those little vodka bottles they sell on planes are CHILD-SIZED...
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post #16 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Some parents don't realize that those little vodka bottles they sell on planes are CHILD-SIZED...
Grandma was right!
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post #17 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
I'm of the mind that babies shouldn't be allowed in public, period.
And old people too! They smell funky and do 20 under every speed limit. Some cry and shit their pants as well.
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post #18 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic Boom View Post
And old people too! They smell funky and do 20 under every speed limit. Some cry and shit their pants as well.
Right on! You and me against the world, Boom.
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post #19 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:19pm
You guys should form your own Logan's Run.
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post #20 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
Oh...and for all those parents who bring their toddlers or babies to the latest showing of a movie, knock it the fuck off. If you can't get a babysitter, you don't get to go to the movie. End of story. You forfeited your rights to do what you want when you squeezed out the little bundle o' joy.
I couldn't agree more, and I'm speaking as someone who will probably have a kid or two. I know what I'm getting into and realize that it will fuck up my movie-watching schedule, and that's too bad for me.
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post #21 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
I wish some of you would get eaten by rabid cannibal babies.
Hey, I like kids (not babies, though), but babies on airplanes with fuckwit parents who go with the "deal with it" attitude is what makes hate having a baby on the plane so horrible.
On my last flight, the young married couple infront of me had specifically asked for the first seat row, and had a portable crib and ear medicine and earplugs/muffs for the baby...in five minutes flat, said baby was easily the happiest sleeper in that damn flight, everyone envious of him and his adorably comfortable little crib.
if every parent was like that, Id woulndt be such an a-hole about inflight babies.
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post #22 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
if a flight to Albuquerque goes down it's because I crashed it rather than hear these fucking babies cry.
So that's your modus operandi!!! This only confirms you were behind the tragic RV crash that claimed the lives of every member of the Noble Order of Men's Sandle Enthusiasts (N.O.M.S.E.) in Duluth last year. Teva has never recovered.
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post #23 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:31pm
I like to think the babies are crying because Devin forgot to take off the Batman mask.
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post #24 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Hey, I like kids (not babies, though), but babies on airplanes with fuckwit parents who go with the "deal with it" attitude is what makes hate having a baby on the plane so horrible.
On my last flight, the young married couple infront of me had specifically asked for the first seat row, and had a portable crib and ear medicine and earplugs/muffs for the baby...in five minutes flat, said baby was easily the happiest sleeper in that damn flight, everyone envious of him and his adorably comfortable little crib.
if every parent was like that, Id woulndt be such an a-hole about inflight babies.
Babies cry. Yes, you can do a lot to help prevent that, but at the end of the day they cry. Some cry more than others, and no, because a baby is crying it doesn't mean that a parent is being neglectful.

People travel, and sometimes they have to take their babies. You are the grown up, just get smart and buy some headphones instead of giving bad stares to parents trying to calm down their kids.

It's not like baby crying is music to the ears of a parent.
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post #25 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
On my last flight, the young married couple infront of me had specifically asked for the first seat row, and had a portable crib and ear medicine and earplugs/muffs for the baby...in five minutes flat, said baby was easily the happiest sleeper in that damn flight, everyone envious of him and his adorably comfortable little crib.
if every parent was like that, Id woulndt be such an a-hole about inflight babies.
Voilà. There's idiots everywhere. Still, some people have to travel, and with their babies. That's life.

As for the theater situation, I had a couple who did bring their 6 months old baby to the 9 o'clock representation of Stealth, out of all movies. 5 minutes later, the poor baby was crying, yet, the sound drowned it. It slept mostly through the flick, and at the end, while we were going out, we heard the retarded couple saying out loud: "Well, at least he sleeps now, so we'll be sleeping more tonight!" 3 seconds after that remark, a guy went near the baby, started yelling at the baby "WAKE UP KID, TIME TO FUCK UP YOUR SHITTY PARENTS' NIGHT AGAIN CAUSE THEY LIKE SCREAMING BABIES AT THEIR MOVIES!". The parents were stunned, and kinda embarrassed when people started applauding when the baby cried right after that.
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post #26 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
I'm of the mind that babies shouldn't be allowed in public, period. Keep 'em stashed away somewhere private until they stop crying and shitting themselves all the time. I shouldn't have to deal with that. After all, I'm not the one who decided I needed a tiny, needy version of myself.

Oh...and for all those parents who bring their toddlers or babies to the latest showing of a movie, knock it the fuck off. If you can't get a babysitter, you don't get to go to the movie. End of story. You forfeited your rights to do what you want when you squeezed out the little bundle o' joy.
Polygamy. You, me and Devin - we're moving to Utah.
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post #27 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Polygamy. You, me and Devin - we're moving to Utah.
Sounds good to me, so long as Devin wears the Batman mask when it comes time to...you know...FULFILL his matrimonial duties.
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post #28 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
People travel, and sometimes they have to take their babies. You are the grown up, just get smart and buy some headphones instead of giving bad stares to parents trying to calm down their kids.
Who's staring? I'm throwing shit. Namely, little empty vodka bottles.

Quote:
It's not like baby crying is music to the ears of a parent.
Tell that to John Walsh, you insensitive sonofabitch.
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post #29 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Tell that to John Walsh, you insensitive sonofabitch.
We have a winner, ladies and gents.
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post #30 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:46pm
I like to bring my kids on airplanes. It's good to expose them to new things and they enjoy it. I don't like to hear them cry though so I get a seat at the other end of the plane. ba-dump-bump

I used to fly enough that I had elite status and got upgraded all the time. My coworkers and I always said the second biggest benefit of flying first class (after free drinks) is no kids. But occasionally someone brings a lap kid into first class. That's pretty awful.
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post #31 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:51pm
Caution! The issues you are airing about babies and old people also apply to the very drunk. I agree not to bring my baby or grandmother onto a flight or into a movie, but I'll be damned if I'm not allowed to do either of those things myself while highly intoxicated.
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post #32 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:52pm
Babies have no place in society. They should be banned from restaurants, movie theaters, planes, and anywhere else other people may be. Either that or they need to have separate sound proof enclosed areas for them. When they reach an age where they don't have tantrums every five minutes, and pass some sort of license test, they can be among other people.
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post #33 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:52pm
I don't think people should bring chickens on planes. Feathers everywhere. That shit's fucked up.
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post #34 of 563
6/17/08 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
Babies have no place in society. They should be banned from restaurants, movie theaters, planes, and anywhere else other people may be. Either that or they need to have separate sound proof enclosed areas for them. When they reach an age where they don't have tantrums every five minutes, and pass some sort of license test, they can be among other people.
Again, I fear you hold the infant population to standards that many adults have yet to acheive.
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post #35 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
Again, I fear you hold the infant population to standards that many adults have yet to acheive.
But if all babies are forced to be trained and licensed to be amongst the rest of society, they'll grow into adults that maybe act as if they're amongst people instead of animals. Also adults would be fined large amounts for bringing babies outside the house after 7pm. Elect me ruler of the world, people. I'll make it happen.
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post #36 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
But if all babies are forced to be trained and licensed to be amongst the rest of society, they'll grow into adults that maybe act as if they're amongst people instead of animals. Also adults would be fined large amounts for bringing babies outside the house after 7pm. Elect me ruler of the world, people. I'll make it happen.
Mikeshayne for Leader of the World in 2012*!

*Sorry, but I'm backing Obama this time out.
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post #37 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:10pm
In honor of this thread, I'm going to take my 1 year old to watch Wall-E. I'll hopefully catch one of you bastards in there.
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post #38 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:11pm
People, people, let's be rational about this.

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post #39 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
But if all babies are forced to be trained and licensed to be amongst the rest of society, they'll grow into adults that maybe act as if they're amongst people instead of animals. Also adults would be fined large amounts for bringing babies outside the house after 7pm. Elect me ruler of the world, people. I'll make it happen.
Car rides put babies to sleep + strollers that couple with car seats = you're screwed.
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post #40 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
In honor of this thread, I'm going to take my 1 year old to watch Wall-E. I'll hopefully catch one of you bastards in there.
You and your kid can have the afternoon showings and we'll wait until after 8pm to see it, deal?
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post #41 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:16pm
They certainly should not be on overseas flights. Some family out of Spain had their kids all under five on a flight to Sydney that was connection to the Gold Coast. Why in the fuck do you want to torture your kids and everyone else?
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post #42 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
Babies have no place in society. They should be banned from restaurants, movie theaters, planes, and anywhere else other people may be. Either that or they need to have separate sound proof enclosed areas for them. When they reach an age where they don't have tantrums every five minutes, and pass some sort of license test, they can be among other people.
I've heard more grown ups cry more than babies.

Getting older does nothing.
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post #43 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snaieke View Post
Car rides put babies to sleep + strollers that couple with car seats = you're screwed.
You can bring your babies in your car, and you can take them to designated baby areas, like out of the way parks. Might need separate roads for you baby people though, because you drive all slow and shit.
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post #44 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Brasky View Post
You and your kid can have the afternoon showings and we'll wait until after 8pm to see it, deal?
Yes, exactly. Designated times/theaters for people with kids. No babies AFTER 8pm. People who bring their kids to movies at 10pm+ should be arrested. Simple as that. On planes babies should be in baggage with the dog kennels.

And Billylove, I already addressed your concern, and after a baby grows old enough to get their society license then they must also renew it every year until they are 18 with a test. This would condition them into better adults.
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post #45 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:38pm
Maybe this thread should be called "Mama don't let your kids grow up to be MikeShaynePI"?
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post #46 of 563
6/17/08 at 6:41pm
Eh, I think he's onto something. Too many kids running around all spoiled and treated as if they're 'special", with absolutely no thought given to training the kid about their role in the context of a larger picture (i.e., their community or society in general). The best scene in Talladega Nights is those fucking kids who are raised to be "winners". It's not even a parody. The rules apply to everyone but us, we're "exceptional". It's killing us.
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post #47 of 563
6/17/08 at 7:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Eh, I think he's onto something. Too many kids running around all spoiled and treated as if they're 'special", with absolutely no thought given to training the kid about their role in the context of a larger picture (i.e., their community or society in general). The best scene in Talladega Nights is those fucking kids who are raised to be "winners". It's not even a parody. The rules apply to everyone but us, we're "exceptional". It's killing us.
This.

The rampant entitlement hivemind that pervades society these days is going to eat our fucking lunch unless we build a bridge and get over ourselves sometime in the near future.
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post #48 of 563
6/17/08 at 7:03pm
Ladies and gentleman, I give you the main reason why the breeding must stop: http://www.heelarious.com/
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post #49 of 563
6/17/08 at 7:10pm
Oh, and the first tier in my plans to make the world a better place upon domination, is to first require people to be licensed to breed. Strict punishments and abortions for all who breed without a license, which of course requires passing various aptitude and intelligence tests, followed by training. Thats the first step in stopping evil babies.
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post #50 of 563
6/17/08 at 7:46pm
Thread Starter 
Look, Cap, you CHOSE to have kids. You knew that you would be inconvenienced. I did not choose to have to kids - I've actually made very pro-active efforts to not have any - and I do not want to be inconvenienced by your decision. Maybe crying babies are not music to a parent's ears, but it's what you have to put up with because of the choices you made. In the same way I get mad when someone watches a DVD on a plane without headphones, I shouldn't have to be subjected to your fucking spawn. It isn't even like we NEED more kids anymore. There are too many people as it is.
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