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Murderous Girlfriend

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 
A story from the Independent. I think Overlord — or someone — was questioning the idea the women are not all that "into" the same violent shit men are. So here you go. Also filed under interesting and movie news (apparently).

post #2 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Warren View Post
A story from the Independent. I think Overlord — or someone — was questioning the idea the women are not all that "into" the same violent shit men are. So here you go. Also filed under interesting and movie news (apparently).
I don't know about anyone else, but I am more afraid of a couple of my ex-girlfriend then I am of the Bloods and the Crips.

I got a couple of restraining orders against a couple of women, just in cast, I have to you know, shot them or their 'friends'. I don't have any male ex-friends I feel the need to do that with. Women can be very dangerous, and any man who think other ways is a fool. Just because they can't beat you up, dues not mean they wont try to shot or stab you, or get a boy friend to go after you.
post #3 of 46
You sure said something there.
post #4 of 46
Thread Starter 
Not exactly what I had in mind, but worthy nonetheless.
post #5 of 46
after reading that artical that guy is either a fool or an asshole. that girl was asking for his help, to get out.
post #6 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Warren View Post
Not exactly what I had in mind, but worthy nonetheless.
Truest me after the second time I make a new dating role.

eenin #1 dating role is never ever date a drug Addict.
post #7 of 46
What are your other dating roles
post #8 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by eenin View Post
I got a couple of restraining orders against a couple of women, just in cast, I have to you know, shot them or their 'friends'. I don't have any male ex-friends I feel the need to do that with. Women can be very dangerous, and any man who think other ways is a fool. Just because they can't beat you up, dues not mean they wont try to shot or stab you, or get a boy friend to go after you.
This. This is special.
post #9 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
What are your other dating roles
When he's being his truest self, Abe Vigoda.
post #10 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
What are your other dating roles
Role #2: never ever let a women play with you anus. There a reason that call it sodomy. If you don't know what I am taking about just wait you will some day.
post #11 of 46
Every time he posts, I just want to yell in my most gravelly Tony Plana voice:

EENIN WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!?
post #12 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
Every time he posts, I just want to yell in my most gravelly Tony Plana voice:

EENIN WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!?

Many of them have claws, unless you like shitting bloody sausages.
post #13 of 46
Why are you letting these dangerous women root through your anus with their sharp claws?? Good grief!
post #14 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
Why are you letting these dangerous women root through your anus with their sharp claws?? Good grief!
I have problems, what can I say
post #15 of 46
Posting through tears just to say God bless you Eenin. Between you and the weed my night is a whole lot better.
post #16 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by eenin View Post
Truest me after the second time I make a new dating role.

eenin #1 dating role is never ever date a drug Addict.
These are words to live by. And once I hire a translator to tell me what they mean, I'm going to do just that.
post #17 of 46
Some of you guys need to come to Carolina and meet some nice Carolina girls. Best in the world, we are.
post #18 of 46
Yeah, women can be as violence orientated at men. My last casual sex partner told me a story about how one of her former partners tried to pressure her in to fellating him, she pretended to comply, and then cut his dick off with a knife she was carrying. Then, the ex once told me about a time she got pisssed off and shattered her ex-boyfriend's windshield during a fight. Anyone who tells you a world run by women would know peace is full of shit.
post #19 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain View Post
Yeah, women can be as violence orientated at men. My last casual sex partner told me a story about how one of her former partners tried to pressure her in to fellating him, she pretended to comply, and then cut his dick off with a knife she was carrying.
Did she also happen to mention that she once worked for the CIA, and that she saw Elvis at Burger King? And more importantly, did you believe any of those stories?

Post #10,000. Thank you, thank you. It's been an honor.
post #20 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David View Post
Did she also happen to mention that she once worked for the CIA, and that she saw Elvis at Burger King? And more importantly, did you believe any of those stories?

Post #10,000. Thank you, thank you. It's been an honor.
I believed the first story because I was actually present when she physically abused her boyfriend (she poured hot grits on him and hit him in the head with the pan). The second story I believed because she had a tattoo on her leg that was self-implemented with a pen.
post #21 of 46
And you slept with her anyway. Either this whole story is full of shit or you have the character assessment skills of a toddler. Which option sounds better?
post #22 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David View Post
And you slept with her anyway. Either this whole story is full of shit or you have the character assessment skills of a toddler. Which option sounds better?
I hadn't heard the story prior to sleeping with her and hadn't met the boyfriend at that point either. And I haven't slept with her since. I wish I could divine what people are capable of but it unfortuantely has to be revealed to me through experience.
post #23 of 46
This shit is just outrageous. The worst I've heard of anyone that I know doing to a guy is sticking a bunch of used maxi pads all over the guy's front door. Physical violence is just...

I usually don't condone violence against women, but if a chick is beating you upside the head with a pot, you kinda have the go-ahead to fuck her up.
post #24 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain View Post
I believed the first story because I was actually present when she physically abused her boyfriend (she poured hot grits on him and hit him in the head with the pan). The second story I believed because she had a tattoo on her leg that was self-implemented with a pen.
Who was her boyfriend? Al Green?
post #25 of 46
More stories about real wimmin folk shamelessly flaunting their evil deeds in the face of society's expectations while we read, mouths agape in horror, please.
post #26 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain View Post
I hadn't heard the story prior to sleeping with her and hadn't met the boyfriend at that point either. And I haven't slept with her since. I wish I could divine what people are capable of but it unfortuantely has to be revealed to me through experience.
eenin's dating role #4: You don't shit where you eat.

eenin's dating role #5: You really don't shit where Al Green eats.

Edit: Damn it, Mudt! Oh well...
post #27 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
This shit is just outrageous. The worst I've heard of anyone that I know doing to a guy is sticking a bunch of used maxi pads all over the guy's front door. Physical violence is just...

I usually don't condone violence against women, but if a chick is beating you upside the head with a pot, you kinda have the go-ahead to fuck her up.
As a female I completely agree. If I ever pour hot grits on a man and slam him in the head with a frying pan I'd say at that point he has full license to hit back.
post #28 of 46
And it should always lead to hot crazy sex. Like in da movies.
post #29 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
And it should always lead to hot crazy sex. Like in da movies.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith style. Yeah!
post #30 of 46
Women can be taught to be violent, it just requires patience and a sharp stick.
post #31 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
This shit is just outrageous. The worst I've heard of anyone that I know doing to a guy is sticking a bunch of used maxi pads all over the guy's front door. Physical violence is just...

I usually don't condone violence against women, but if a chick is beating you upside the head with a pot, you kinda have the go-ahead to fuck her up.
Complete agreement. I sure as hell won't start something with a woman, womyn, wymyn, or however you spell it these days, but I'll damn sure end it if she's attacking me. I understand if there are any other guys around, they'll rush to her aide, but to hell with them, bruises and the very long jail sentence I'll be facing.
post #32 of 46
I'd never strike a woman. Other available options:

1) Squirt gun.
Pros: An underrated non-lethal ranged weapon, squirt guns can bring a much needed sense of levity to man-on-woman violence
Cons: Probably will just end up further enraging target!

2) Bolas
Pros: You can usually get through airport security with them, because you can say they're a weight loss thingy
Cons: For some reason, only works well on cattle. There are those who swear by bolas, though.

3) Run away
Pros: Least risky option. A healthy pastime in its own right.
Cons: To work, must be faster than your opponent. Also: Oh, run away! That's what you do best! That's what you always do, you coward!
post #33 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
eenin's dating role #4: You don't shit where you eat.

eenin's dating role #5: Your really don't shit where Al Green eats.

Edit: Damn it, Mudt! Oh well...
damn right
post #34 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
Some of you guys need to come to Carolina and meet some nice Carolina girls. Best in the world, we are.


post #35 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
And it should always lead to hot crazy sex. Like in da movies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Mr. and Mrs. Smith style. Yeah!
Sounds more like Saving Silverman style.
post #36 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Warren View Post
A story from the Independent. I think Overlord — or someone — was questioning the idea the women are not all that "into" the same violent shit men are. So here you go. Also filed under interesting and movie news (apparently).
Doesn't sound like me, I know women are into violence, just in the opposite way men are. They're asking fo ... ugh, I can't continue with this joke, it's just too politically incorrect, even for me.

**There are some fucked up stories in this thread. Truly. Anyone who can pull a trigger or pour a vial of rat poison can kill you, so always watch your back!
post #37 of 46
::sitting in the corner, rocking::

happyplacehappyplacehappyplacehappyplacehappyplace ...
post #38 of 46
Never had a murderous girlfriend - did date a few who were a few sandwiches short of a picnic, though.

Oh, and while I do NOT condone hitting women (though, to quote Sam Kinison, I sometimes understand what makes Mr. Hand turn into Mr. Fist), you gotta do what you gotta do to defend yourself. If she starts something, and you feel you're in danger, no joke, all bets are off.
post #39 of 46
Yeah, I can't bring myself to hit a woman. I'll restrain one all day long, but hit? Hell no. It disturbs the crap out of me to hear women crying, and if my physical actions contributed to that I'd probably want to kill myself.
post #40 of 46
Thread Starter 
I might not post that often, and I'm pretty insubstantial around here, but surely I shall be the man who "inadvertantly" started the "it's OK to beat women when ..." thread.

I think a thread about girls in skirts drinking is in the offing. Now what would that inspire?
post #41 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
Some of you guys need to come to Carolina and meet some nice Carolina girls. Best in the world, we are.
well, i just moved to South Carolina...and im not impressed.. hahaha sorry Harley..but im sure your much more awesome then the "beach bunnies" i've ran into
post #42 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Yeah, I can't bring myself to hit a woman.
She'd have to be knifing me. Women are like Eenin quotes — the patient quoter catches the biggest prize.
post #43 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Warren View Post

I think a thread about girls in skirts drinking is in the offing. Now what would that inspire?
Rape.
post #44 of 46
Thread Starter 
Those lying Sex in the City watching tarts!
post #45 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
happyplacehappyplacehappyplacehappyplacehappyplace ...
Read: a nest composed of shredded newspaper, spittle, and the severed heads of male humans.
post #46 of 46
More posts by eenin please.
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