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Modern Conservative: "This election is like the film 300."

post #1 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:18pm
Thread Starter 
I am thoroughly entertained.
Quote:
For those of you have yet to see 300, do yourselves a favor and see it. (Warning: Spoiler Alert)

This movie is not just about the past. It's about today. Right now.

It's about each one of you who stands in the breach against the enemy.

And it's about each one of you who stands against the enemy within, who would happily widen that breach.

Today's enemy is Islamofascism, but it is little different from the hordes following the tyrannical King Xerxes.

Today's enemy within is the left, both at home and across the globe. And they too are little different from the scheming legislator Theron and the vile Ephori, who were willing—even eager—to see all Sparta kneel before Xerxes, just to gain power.

How is the left today any different? Do they not see their own nation, their own people, their own military as the enemy? Do they not seek to withdraw us from the field, to give the enemy the day?

And just as Sparta was the lynchpin that defended all Greece—that great cradle of democracy—is not the United States today the last bastion of freedom defending Western civilization?

But what care the left for Western civilization? They HATE Western civilization. They hate the men and women who defend it. They hate themselves.

But truly, this analogue is only the beginning — for what happened at Thermopylae may fairly be said to be the reason we are all breathing the fresh air of freedom today:

Xerxes is on the march. Land after land, king after king is falling under the Persian yoke. And now, Xerxes has set his eyes on Greece.
Also the Spartans enjoyed bumming little kids. Enjoy your shitty analogy, dude.
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post #2 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:23pm
...wha?

Oh god, it's going to be the IMDB boards about this movie all over again.
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post #3 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:24pm
So does that mean neo-conservatives see Barack Obama like this?



CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN!
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post #4 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:24pm
When 10,000 Islamofascists are coming up the Keys, then I'll buy the comparison.
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post #5 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:25pm
The fuck?
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post #6 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:28pm
He does realize that you can take the events and both sides and spin it to mean whatever you want? Man, I fucking love history.
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post #7 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:29pm
I'm still waiting for my damn "I hate Western Civilization" t-shirt.
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post #8 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:30pm
So, we all have killer abs? Neat.
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post #9 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:30pm
And you can also interpret the film as the story of a small nation (say, Iraq) defying an invading superpower (say, the US).

Personally, I prefer basing my political analysis on the Three Amigos.
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post #10 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:33pm
So who's the Invisible Swordsman?
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post #11 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:34pm
Poland, of course.
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post #12 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:34pm
I kind of see Barack Obama like that . . . and I like it.

The Spartans are not Greek. To this day they consider themselves independent of Greece at large. I also like how this author says the 300 were able to 'hold of a million Persians'. Man, the Greeks were gay.
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post #13 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhukov View Post
I kind of see Barack Obama like that . . . and I like it.

The Spartans are not Greek. To this day they consider themselves independent of Greece at large. I also like how this author says the 300 were able to 'hold of a million Persians'. Man, the Greeks were gay.
Fucking boys DOESN'T MAKE YOU GAY.

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post #14 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:41pm
As a matter of fact they don't consider themselves independent. And back then there was no Greek state.

Anyway, national identities being a fairly modern construct, the ancient Greeks accepted as fellow Greeks those who shared their language and religion. They would still bash each other's head in, though.
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post #15 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:46pm
Quote:
And just as Sparta was the lynchpin that defended all Greece—that great cradle of democracy—is not the United States today the last bastion of freedom defending Western civilization?
No. The United States is a bully and a thug and a liar. Ask the South American and Middle Eastern nations it has felt obliged to overthrow because of the price of bananas or an independent nation's chosen governmental system or the resources over which they sit. Ask its trade partners (hi!) who get screwed when it violates its treaties. Ask the people it has kidnaped and tortured.

Well, he did ask.
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post #16 of 33
7/3/08 at 3:50pm
I just love how he equates the left to the group in the film that wants to strictly adhere to the religious law about not fighting during the holy days. Yeah, that's what the left would think.
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post #17 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:05pm
Submission? Well that's a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it the Quebecois have already turned you down, and if those philosophers and, uh, boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve, then...

Apologies to Montrealers on the board, I needed something North American but using Canada as whole was too self-degregating..
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post #18 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:05pm
That's nice. When do I get to fuck Lena Headley?
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post #19 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:19pm
Thread Starter 
As soon as Dominic West finishes cornholing her, Ratty. Did you not watch the movie either? Jeesh!
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post #20 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:26pm
I'm waiting to read an explanation of how torture fits into this pathetic metaphor.
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post #21 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:52pm
If John McCain kicked Mahmoud Ahmadinejad into a bottomless pit after screaming "THIS! IS! AMERICAAAAAA!" I would totally vote Republican this election.
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post #22 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:55pm
But if he did that while wearing the leather shorts, wouldn't that cancel each other out?
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post #23 of 33
7/3/08 at 4:58pm
If the Spartans had had access to Universal Health Care, they probably wouldn't have died of their injuries.

Just sayin'.
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post #24 of 33
7/3/08 at 5:20pm
This kind of garbage is why I disliked the movie when I saw it. Frank Miller's right-wing, man of action hero worship shit really snaps my suspenders.
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post #25 of 33
7/3/08 at 6:01pm
So if we're the Spartans what does that make the Canadians? I don't recall sneaky scary creatures with freaky beady eyes in the movie ...
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post #26 of 33
7/3/08 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
So if we're the Spartans what does that make the Canadians? I don't recall sneaky scary creatures with freaky beady eyes in the movie ...
-I see I was wrong to expect America's commitment to at least match our own.
-Doesn't it?
[points to Canadian soldier]
-You there, Canadian! What is your profession?
-I am a lumberjack, sir.
-[points to another soldier] And you, Canadian, what is your profession?
-Lumberjack too, sir.
-Lumberjacks.
[turns to a third soldier]
-And you?
-Uh.. well, I'm a lumber-
-[shouting] Americans! What is your profession?
-YEEEEHAW YIPPIE KAY YAY [bang bang bang]
-You see, old friend? I brought more soldiers than you did.
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post #27 of 33
7/3/08 at 7:28pm
Ancient Persia: Dominates the (then) civilized world, rich, able to draw an army of hundreds of thousands to a remote nation to subjgate a tiny group of city states because they helped another tiny city state that refused to bow down to the Persians.

Modern Islmo-Fascism: a group of people from mostly poor Middle Eastern countries, no army, just a bunch of individual "cells" , uncoordinated by any central authority, mostly using home made or surplus weapons.

Yeah, the parallel is EXACT!
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post #28 of 33
7/4/08 at 4:57am
So basically he wanted to say Brown=Bad, White=Good but was afraid too.
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post #29 of 33
7/4/08 at 9:59am
Aw, I don't hate myself...that one was just mean.
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post #30 of 33
7/4/08 at 11:29am
Wait, so he's saying the islamofascists totally know how to party? Sign me up!
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post #31 of 33
7/6/08 at 3:55am
To be fair, Frank, to you, "partying" is having a second glass of wine at dinner, no?
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post #32 of 33
7/6/08 at 10:04am
I do occasionally stay up after 9:00.

Occasionally.
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post #33 of 33
7/6/08 at 11:54am
I love the comments to the blog. With so many "God bless you"s, Christopher Cook is totally going to heaven.
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