Your most uncomfortable times at the cinema. - Page 2

Making my mom take me and my best friend at the time to see the new alien monster horror movie. Which turned out to be Species. Yikes! That was 1995, so I was... 10! Wow, even younger than I remember.

Also, not uncomfortable per se, but when the lights went up as Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem ended I got up, turned around as I stretched and became the only "lucky" guy to see what was going on at the very last row at the back. A guy, standing up, his cock out, and his girl sitting down next to him sucking away. I literally froze with my arms still extended from the stretching, did a double-take and turned away. Nobody else seemed to notice. I told my date about it and she didn't believe me. Bah!

ETA: Oh, I remember another "mom" one! She loves The Shield, so I always lend her the season sets when I finish with them. One day I'm at home and she's watching an ep in the living room. I sit myself down on the couch next to her and watch along. Unfortunately, it was the one where Capt. Aceveda is forced to blow the guy at gunpoint. "Awwwwwwwk-warrrrrd!"

Oh I am sooo good at that.

I dated a girl to United 93. Yeah I can be that stupid. Could have as well tried to have buttsex with her and her little sister while watching Schindlers List.

But at least there was a second date. And a third. When she wanted to watch The DaVinci Code on the fourth though I moved to another city.

Phantom Menace was still fresh on her mind huh?

I wasn't there during this particular movie incident, but my then-10-yr.-old nephew convinced my mom to take him to see Anchorman while he was staying with them for a visit. I'm trying to picture my mom during the descriptions of Sex Panther, Brian Fantana's testicles, and Will Ferrell telling Christina Applegate that he was going to punch her in the ovaries. "Right in the babymaker."

Dude, I'm all about the bizarre excuse for not calling some girl back, but daaaaamn, I think you just became my new personal savior.

Another mom story here. I went with mine to see American Beauty when it first came out. I didn't know much about it other than all the reviews praising Kevin Spacey, and after The Usual Suspects and L.A. Confidential, I was happy to see anything he was in. We probably should have left as soon as we saw Spacey masterbating in the shower, but we stayed for the whole thing, never once looking at each other and not discussing the movie after it was over. We still refer to it as the most awkward movie experience ever.

Fast-forward nine years later; I've moved back in with my folks to save some money while I go back to school, and every Sunday night, my mom and I watch "Californication" and "Dexter" together without blinking an eye.

My, how things have changed.

At age 11, I managed to convince my mom to take me to see The Howling, which immediately begins with a bondage rape scene.

The movie was the Chinese foreign film WHAT TIME IS IT THERE? It was VERY slow and I think the director was extending every single scene purposefully to make some point about time that I didn't care to think about. At any rate, an older mother character in the movie decides, during a moment of grieving, to masturbate with a wicker basket. I couldn't stop fidgeting in my seat wondering what my conservative friends would think or say. Afterwards, when we were filing out and each looked at the other trying to gauge reactions and we just burst into laughter. Had I been with my parents it would have been MUCH, MUCH worse.

How old were you when you went to see BEAUTY?

So, first date with this girl. The movie? Mulholland Drive. Uncomfortable? A little. Hilarious (for me)? Absolutely. What better way to introduce a girl into your world than by taking her to a David Lynch movie (and her first David Lynch movie)? Her reactions were better than the movie itself.




Oh yeah, we're married now.

I'm a little surprised at all of the "parent stories" in this thread. Is it really that uncomfortable watching risque material with your parents? I'm not about to watch a hardcore porno with my family, but if its in the context of the story, what's the problem. Don't you think your parents have sex? They're probably having it right now. In your bed.

Of course parents had sex - that's how all of us are here. But in my example - my then-73-year-old-mother with her then-10-year-old grandson. And while Anchorman isn't the most risque movie in the world, some of the discussions in there about sex were probably not what she was hoping for when this little child told her, "No, Gran, it's really really funny, let's go!"

Yeah, I could see how involving a 10 year old would be uncomfortable. Sorry, I should have been more specific. I was referring to the few that have been close to adulthood, and in one case, was in his early 20s.

My friends and I did some acid and went to see Monty Python's Life of Brian. In the parking lot going into the theater we were approached by a man with a birth mark that covered his entire face. He was clearly lonely and wanted to share his experience with the movie he watched (Time after Time). We politely listened but that birthmark became fascinating and horrible at the same time. Lonely people make me sad to this day.

wow, I had totally repressed an identical experience.

I also saw a fish called wanda with my mother when i was about 12 AND had to explain what was going on.

My favourite came years later when I took the whole family to see South Park: BL&U - I had seen it in the US on holiday a few months before and loved it, any way my mum tagged along and when it got to the bit where Saddam & Satan turn off the lights and Saddam says "yeah you like that don't you, bitch!" my mother laughed so loud every one looked - no biggie right? well she kept on laughing and getting more and more hysterical well into the next scene, she was having trouble breathing and then lost bladder -control - hey it's a problem lots of middle-aged women have right? She had to leave the cinema with a big pisspatch, still shaking from laughing at that one line. I'm fucking proud of her but that was pretty uncomfortable.

I've had some pretty intense olfactory experiences at that theater, none worse than going to see Goblet of Fire and getting stuck next to a heifer wearing a Gryffindor scarf who reeked of allspice and cumin. I don't mind those scents on food, but spending two and a half hours next to a sweating human is too much for me.

I also don't like it when fights break out in the theater that doesn't directly involve me. I have enough confidence in my anger management that I won't beat someone to death in the aisles, but I would rather not watch someone die while I'm trying to watch my movie.

That guy's singing asshole can be downright unsettling if you don't hear that it's singing "Surfin' Bird".

The time I went to Hot Fuzz with my (now ex-)girlfriend and a group of her friends and realizing right before the lights went down that she and one of her guy "just friends" friends were fucking around behind my back via their body language. Loved Hot Fuzz, haven't watched it since though.

I feel for you, Greg. That must have been an awful, awful realization to have right before a movie you are looking forward to watching.

My wife and I took my grandparents to see Amelie. They're awesome grandparents that have watched and enjoyed movies like Y Tu Mama, Tambien and the such... but they saw those without me, and it doesn't mean that they "get" everything that happens, though.

Case in point...

During Amelie, she calls the "mystery number" and it turns out it's a porn shop. They guy on the phone interrogates her and asks her if she's shaved because he doesn't want any "hair pie". I burst out laughing and so did my grandmother. She then turned to me and asked, "what's hair pie". I then realized she laughed only because I did.

I told her I didn't know.

Or was it fur pie... I don't quite remember, but it doesn't change the story.

I laughed my fool head off through the entire running of Shallow Hal. Even after the part where he realizes his feelings for the fat womens.

There were several cold stares, but I have no guilt.

WTF is a public library doing with that film in the first place

This thread is fucking hilarious . well ive been told that i make most of friends and familly pretty uncomfortable at the theatre , just a few of them can stand going to the theatres with me . I figgit a lot ( bad back , ADD and most of the times restless has hell) , because of my asthma , i sometimes cough a lot and I spit my mucus on the ground (everybody can ear it) , I cant help talking about miscialanous subjects surrounding the movie ,ive been called on it 2 or 3 times by audience members that were quite suprised with my reaction , and when i laugh , my laugh is fucking weird and fucking lowd . when i was 14 I got into a fight with another kid who was piss with my theatrical attitude right after dangerous mind , go figure why i was so hype up after that movie , ( the fight did turn into an embarassment while winning and trying to give him a knee shot in the stomach , I slip and fell on my back and he ran out the dpor)

And the last time i went to the theatres with my dad ( one of the few who can stand me in a cinema) about 2 years ago , dont remember what film ,dho , gotta ask him. About 15min in the film I was talking like usual , and the guy ( in is 30's) ask us to shut the fuck , I responded with my usual fuck you asshole type line . He then preceded to trie to take off my dads glass's , I really dont know wtf he was thinkng , my dad gets mean real fast ( he also really knows how to fight , ) , I had the guy strongly by the neck and my dad was about to punch is light out ( so was I , hey am has dirty has they come) , but his girlfriend put herself in the midle and was sceaming stop it , you fucking crazies we will change place , They changed place and when the film was over they quickly got out , me and my dad were kinda pretty pump all tru the film , our minds maybe saw like 50% out of it , Since then my dads tries to avoid going to the theatres with me , he jokes that he is getting to old to fight , I think it`s a good thing for everybody that i rarely go to the theatres , i dint even went once in 2007 and still havent went in 2008

Holy crap. I think I would hate that movie just as a matter of principle. Irrational principle, but principle all the same. How do you remember anythign about the movie, much less like it?

Jesus Christ, I wish the sig feature allowed for more characters, because all of elrocho's rant would be mine.

I went and saw Vera Drake and was the only one in the theater until about half way through when one of the teenaged employees brought her boyfriend in, took him to the top row and proceeded to fuck.

Watching a Mike Leigh movie about abortion while underaged kids fuck. That movie is very deliberately paced, features very little score and has many many quiet moments.

I was able to track the progression of sex acts by sound.

Okay, I'm calling it: elrocho is a duke fleedesque guise. There's just no way someone like that exists. I say this having read through his "Last Horror Movie Seen" thread, as well.

At the moment, I'm neither lonely nor on acid, but in a weird way- this is the most touching little story I've heard in a while. I feel for that guy, without even knowing him (or you).

Agent Danger?
Say it ain't so!

Jesus, elrocho - I hope I never have to sit in the same theatre as you, nothing personal mate but i would have to slit your fucking throat. Probably your dad too by the sound of it.

Fantastic! anyone else have a suggestion for the most inappropriate movie for people to be fucking in?

Salo? Schindler's List?

The rape scene in 'the Accused' popped into my head. If you get wood while watching that scene, do the world a favor and just kill yourself.

Schindler's List.

*EDIT* SONOFA!

I'm quoting this entire thing for posterity.

One Valentine's Day, this girl named Shakti (bad omen 1) offered to pick me up (bad omen 2) and take me on a date, treating me to food and a movie. Delightful!

Cut to Ham n' Goody's, where I'm eating a lukewarm ham sandwich while she discusses her suicide attempts. Cut to the drive to the theater, where she talks about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child, and how that abuse tied in with her most recent suicide attempt.

Cut to the theater, where we sit down to watch THE LION KING. Shakti is babbling about her miserable life, while I ate stale Twizzlers (I hate Twizzlers, but they were "her treat"). Five minutes in, she's snoring. I realize that this might be my chance to bail, but oh yeah, she's driving. So, I sat there and watched the whole movie while Shakti didn't budge, snoring away.

Thirty seconds before the movie ended, she woke up. She wanted to go out for some drinks afterwards, but for some reason, I was really sleepy and had to go back to my dorm.

Dude, you SO could have hit that!

Did Shakti look like this?

Well , i really dont see what you have against me , except if your a grammar nut, and I have no fucking clue what a duke fleedesque guise is , unlike a lot of people on line , I have no reasons to reinvent myself , Everything i have said on this site or any other site for that matter was 100% truthfull . Before you go ahead and judge someone , you should wait till he has at leat a 100+ post . Ive been told am a pretty unique character but beleive me I do exist


ive got a a question for people who dont have a 2000 post here , are all the senior members with 2000+ post mostly pricks , I doubt so but seems they are the only ones that have responded to my posts so far

Nah, we just got to 2000 posts by being reaaaaaaaaallly fucking bored at work.

First sex scene I ever saw. AWKWARD

For real. That whole post read like a David Lynch movie.

I have to say my most awkward (in the truest sense of the word) moment at the movies was when I was 19, and I was working at our local theater at the popcorn counter. It was new year's eve (1982 going into 1983), and since my best friend (who got me the job there) and I had no parties to go to, we accepted a shift when our boss asked us if we could work.

Well, the theater was pretty much as empty as a movie theater on new year's eve could get, I think I counted 12 customers all night. And then this guy walked in all alone. He walked up to me and asked me in Spanish what time the next showing of E.T. was. I had some Spanish from high school, but I didn't do so well that I remembered right away how to answer him. So I fumbled a little bit, and wasn't able to really give him an answer, and he just smiled and nodded, kind of realizing I didn't speak it well enough. He went over to the big plate glass window that overlooked the parking lot, and I went back behind the counter, and racked my brain trying to remember how to say the movie started at 8:45 PM.

I finally remembered the correct phrasing, and I walked out from behind the counter. He was still looking out the window, and he had his back to me, staring out at this dark, mostly-empty parking lot. I walked up behind him, and said, "Senor?" He turned around to me, and as he did, I saw that he'd been standing at the window just sobbing. He really quickly wiped the tears off of his face, and smiled, and said, "Si?" I felt so bad, but I just kind of stammered out in Spanish what time the next showing of E.T. was, and he thanked me, and I scooted quickly back behind the counter. I still, to this day, feel so sorry for that guy - to just be all alone on New Year's Eve, so depressed you can't even not cry in public, just taking in a movie in some crappy, empty theater just for something to do.

lolololol

So... you're a retarded asshole with an asshole father? Awesome! Now... stay the fuck away from movie theaters.

I'm pretty sure you're full of shit, though.

Lisa, that story is heartbreaking.

Aw, dude, not cool. Use a cup or something at least.

this is the thread has had me in stitches, thanks guys. Its inspirational even, so this is my first post. A few years back I had been talking to a few ladies on a internet dating site (yeah, I know...) and I had grown to like this girl that I exchanged a few pictures with and I thought to set up a date and send off one final email asking her out. She accepts and we plan to see Cabin Fever (her pick). It was pouring rain that night and I am waiting for her in front of the theater when she runs up in a yellow rain coat with the hood up. It isn't till she gets to me under the awning and pulls back the hood that I realize I have no idea who the hell this woman is. I guess I might have sent the email to the wrong girl and she randomly accepted, which made me even more nervous because who in their right mind goes and meet someone on a date from a random email. She was slightly older than me (I was in my early 20's at the time and she was easily 30+) and I didn't even knew her name (since it obviosly wasn't the April I thought it was). Oddly enough we run into a friend of mine who happens to be a co-worker of her and she was estatic to see this random person out on a date with me. We didn't really talk during the movie (it would have been a welcom distraction from that mess of a movie) and there was a bit of akward silence afterwards. We never spoke again after that night.

Wow how easy it is to insult someone when you cant see him face to face , pretty sure you wouldnt say it to my face .

Hey I am an asshole , ill admit it my father has a temper but he is far from beeing the asshole I am , retarded and full of shit I dont think so , like i said i feel like theres no point for me of telling lies on line or in real life for that matter .

To LisaNy : come on , give me a chance , I would of agreed if you said my post sounds like a 12 year old hyper active school girl , but to compare it to a Lynch film , My post was'nt that badly stucture , if a Lynch film was that easy to follow I doubt that Lynch would have many fans ( I love his films , well except for Inland Empire my only disapointment from him).

The stuff that i have written doesnt seem that exagerated , I really dont see why people have troubling beleiving they are tru ,

Okay, fair enough. A hyper-active 12 year old school girl in a David Lynch film. It's all about the compromise.

I don't think Abe Lincoln ever went to the cinema.

Uncomfortable: Packed showing of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Someone behind me is reading the subtitles OUT LOUD. I wait for them to stop, but the stopping never comes. I turn around, and it's a woman reading the movie to her kid - who's about 15 years old. I almost yelled at a retard's mom.

Oh, you've got to tell us the name of the movie, at least.

The Squid and the Whale?

Kramer Vs Kramer?

The Country Bears?