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You're in a mall when the zombies attack....

post #1 of 425
7/10/08 at 10:46am
Thread Starter 
Totally ripping this off from another board, but I'd love to see where the Chewers take this....

You're in a mall when the zombies attack.

1. What weapon do you want to have?
2. What song do you want blaring from the speakers?
3. Who do you want fighting by your side?

You can pick real or fictional weapons, and if they use ammo, they have a never-ending supply. You can pick living, dead, or fictional people. It's wide open.

Me, I'd go with:

1. Lightsaber
2. "Rebel Rouser" by Duane Eddy
3. River Tam
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post #2 of 425
7/10/08 at 10:55am
1. The Glaive.
2. "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin.
3. Lemmy.
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post #3 of 425
7/10/08 at 10:57am
1. Gears of War Chainsaw Gun
2. "Angel Of Death" by Slayer
3. Zombie Bruce Lee
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post #4 of 425
7/10/08 at 10:58am
1. Hattori Hanzo Sword
2. "The HIV Song" by Ween
3. Beatrix Kiddo
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post #5 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:07am
1. Being a fucking Scanner (add to that a katana as a backup)
2. The Final Countdown by Europe
3. Ashley J. "Ash" Williams
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post #6 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:09am
I've had a similar discussion with some friends and my conclusion was that you need 2 kinds of weapons. One for long range and another one for short range combat.

1) Aliens Pulse Rifle (with granades)
2) Do the Evolution (Pearl Jam)
3) Blain (predator)
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post #7 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:09am
1. The Farsight (Perfect Dark)
2. No song, just silence.
3. Morgan Freeman

I would immediately run to the nearest Waldenbooks and lock us in. After that Morgan would read novels to me as I used my weapon to pick off random zombies.
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post #8 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:10am
1. Lawnmower
2. "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC
3. Living Bruce Lee wielding a pair of nunchakus
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post #9 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:11am
1. Chain Gun from Predator
2. Back in Black
3. Snake Plissken
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post #10 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:13am
1. Ben Linus' nightstick.
2. Live Through This (the album)
3. Beatrix Kiddo (sorry, Jan. Can she bring her sword?)
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post #11 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
1. Ben Linus' nightstick.
2. Live Through This (the album)
3. Beatrix Kiddo (sorry, Jan. Can she bring her sword?)
Since you came up with the brilliance of Ben Linus´ nightstick: Yes she can.
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post #12 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:15am
Sweet.
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post #13 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:17am
1. Proton Pack - Sure, it's probably not going to be the most effective weapon, but (a) it's a zombie apocalypse and I'm almost certainly going to die, and (b) I've always wanted to shoot one of these bad boys.

2. The Benny Hill theme song - Because it'll be awesome when the zombie chase/chasing is joined by lingerie-clad models and bobbies.

3. Jessica Biel - She looks like a tough broad and would probably be good in a scrap. Also, we'd probably have to procreate in order to ensure the survival of mankind.
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post #14 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:18am
1. Sawed off shotgun (sucker for the classics)
2. "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue
3. Clive Owen
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post #15 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:18am
See, now, I think Mattioli is being far more right-headed about this than the rest of us... I may have to think about this & modify my answer later. But I'm keeping Ben's nightstick. I'm thinking that could crush a whole pile of zombie skull.
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post #16 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
3. Living Bruce Lee wielding a pair of nunchakus
I'm not risking that motherfucker having another aneurysm while we're getting strenuous killing done. Undead's the way to go, here.
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post #17 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:22am
1) Desert Eagle
2) "Misfit Love" by QOTSA
3) Either Jack Burton or Champ Kind.
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post #18 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:23am
Thread Starter 
Stelios, good call on The Immigrant Song. I've just always wanted to be in some kind of brawl with Rebel Rouser playing in the background, so I went with it.
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post #19 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
I'm not risking that motherfucker having another aneurysm while we're getting strenuous killing done. Undead's the way to go, here.
What if he developed a thirst for human flesh and you were the only snack bar for miles around? Then you're trying to fend off scores of plain-Jane zombies and one preternaturally skilled fighting machine with whom you've developed a close bond prior to his turn to posthumous cannibalism.

Shit. This would make an awesome movie. Someone get Slater in here, now.
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post #20 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:27am
1. Weapon: an unlicensed Nuclear Accelerator
2. Song: 'On the Loose' from Saga
3. Sidekick: R. Lee Ermey
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post #21 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:30am
1. Remington 700 bolt-action hunting rifle with a 4x Leupold Scope
2. Any headache inducing song from the Night of the Comet soundtrack should do.
3. Charles Whitman
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post #22 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
What if he developed a thirst for human flesh and you were the only snack bar for miles around? Then you're trying to fend off scores of plain-Jane zombies and one preternaturally skilled fighting machine with whom you've developed a close bond prior to his turn to posthumous cannibalism.
I shed two tears in a bucket, and maybe play Mad World after Slayer. Otherwise, nothing changes.
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post #23 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:34am
Some good ideas in this thread. Might make good fake posters. Just saying.
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post #24 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:35am
1. Boxing gloves wrapped with barbed wire
2. You're Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring
3. Ash (maybe a little obvious, but still the right choice)
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post #25 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:36am
1.Suped up crossbow from Half-Life
2.Ballad of Charles Whitman-Kinky Friedman
3.Ed McMahon
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post #26 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:37am
I was going to say a Proton Pack as well so I have had a rethink.


1. A Star Trek (original series) Phaser. I like my ray guns to look cool.

2. Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi. Hell if im going to die i want to go out to my favorate song.

3. The Doctor - (David Tennant) Because with him I might just stand a chance at surviving.
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post #27 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:47am
Since Beatrix Kiddo went shopping in another mall when the apocalypse draw near I have to reteam:
1. The Mark III suit from Iron Man - Zombies can chew and gnaw on that till they rot.
2. REM - "Shiny Happy People" - Cause slaughter is much more fun with happy music!
3. Amy Whinehouse - If everything else fails I am gonna use her. As a weapon. I´ll just hide behind her, because not even Zombies would hit that.
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post #28 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krish-0 View Post
1. Boxing gloves wrapped with barbed wire
2. You're Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring
3. Ash (maybe a little obvious, but still the right choice)
Ash is already in my mall. Try again.

And great call on R. Lee Ermey being a sidekick. The bastard could yell at zombies until they die again.
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post #29 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan View Post
3. Amy Whinehouse - If everything else fails I am gonna use her. As a weapon. I´ll just hide behind her, because not even Zombies would hit that.
GENIUS
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post #30 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan View Post
Amy Whinehouse

My God, man, do you know what you've done? You've invited in the very thing you're attempting to fight!
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post #31 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:54am
Fight Fire With Fire!
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post #32 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:56am
I'd use a nuclear bomb, or even VX gas before using Amy Winehouse. It's much cleaner.
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post #33 of 425
7/10/08 at 11:56am
1. 'Ol Painless' from Predator
2. N.W.O. by Ministry
3. Jill Valentine
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post #34 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JXN1138
3. Jill Valentine
And when there's a break in the action, she can unlock Cinnabon for you.
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post #35 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:04pm
You're in a mall when the zombies attack

1. Ability to remotely nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
2. "Dream Told by Moto" by The Minutemen
3. Asia Argento
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post #36 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:04pm
I had a tough time choosing a valuable sidekick. If Ash was taken, I would have been torn between Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat or Koko B. Ware.
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post #37 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:06pm
I have come to the conclusion that I could, and probably will, do this all day. I would like to put a motion before the committee that Dickson be named today's winner of CHUD. Seconded?

1. Six Demon Bag
2. Seven Nation Army
3. A cave troll
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post #38 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
1. Six Demon Bag
Amazing.
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post #39 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Ash is already in my mall. Try again.
Damn. Not sure how I missed that. And I was thinking "Why the fuck hasn't anyone picked him yet?"

So I'll have to go with Slim Pickins
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post #40 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I have come to the conclusion that I could, and probably will, do this all day. I would like to put a motion before the committee that Dickson be named today's winner of CHUD. Seconded?

1. Six Demon Bag
2. Seven Nation Army
3. A cave troll
I'll second it. And vote for ratification of the awesomeness of your latest picks, although I remain apprehensive about your ability to control the cave troll.
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post #41 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Amazing.
Yeah, I figure I could just hang out in the Waldenbooks with Baker and Morgan Freeman if I had that thing. Anything gets too close - fireball. That is, if my cave troll didn't throw it into a wall first.
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post #42 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Yeah, I figure I could just hang out in the Waldenbooks with Baker and Morgan Freeman if I had that thing. Anything gets too close - fireball. That is, if my cave troll didn't throw it into a wall first.
The thing about this is that it starts with a fireball. It's fucking Chinese black Magic.


Ahhh, let's try that again.

1. Dead Alive's lawnmower
2. Kenny Loggin's Danger Zone
3. Ricky-Oh
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post #43 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
I'll second it. And vote for ratification of the awesomeness of your latest picks, although I remain apprehensive about your ability to control the cave troll.
Need I remind you that I have a fucking Six Demon Bag? Getting out of line is the last thing that cave troll would ever do.

All those in favor?
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post #44 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:23pm
Continuing with my metal theme:
1. Mjolnir.

2."The Four Horsemen" by Metallica.

3. Cliff Burton shredding the bass as I pummel zombies into goo.

Edit: Now updated with link.
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post #45 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:25pm
For the sequel:

1. Weapon: Harrison Ford's 'finger of doom'
2. Song: 'the Hellion/Electric Eye' by Judas Priest.
3. Sidekick: Clancy Brown in full-on Kurgan mode.
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post #46 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:29pm
My picks:

-The Laser Gatling Gun from Fallout 2 (ol painless plus laser power? sweet!)
-"The Trooper", Iron Maiden (WWZ did a great argument for this song's use)
-Either Lieutenant Rasczak or Dizzy Florez from "Starship Troopers".
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post #47 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:34pm
1. AK-47.
2. Nine Inch Nails - Big Man With Gun
3. FPS Doug.
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post #48 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:37pm
1. Louisville Slugger
2. Positively 4th Street
3. Drunken Russell Crowe
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post #49 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:38pm
1. Ark of the Covenant (from Indiana Jones)
2. Sister Christian - Night Ranger
3. Hellboy
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post #50 of 425
7/10/08 at 12:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
1. Being a fucking Scanner (add to that a katana as a backup)
2. The Final Countdown by Europe
3. Ashley J. "Ash" Williams
Martin Savage FTW!!

1. A standard pump shotgun loaded with slugs rather than shot for the added splatter effect. (I'm not that great with weapons)
2. Sabotage - Beastie Boys
3. Lt. John McClane
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