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Crackas desecrate cracker

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
It started with a student holding the body of Christ hostage:
Quote:
A UCF student claims he’s getting death threats for messing with something sacred.

Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn’t eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

Catholics worldwide became furious.

Webster’s friend, who didn’t want to show his face, said he took the Eucharist, to show him what it meant to Catholics.

Webster gave the wafer back, but the Catholic League, a national watchdog organization for Catholic rights claims that is not enough.

“We don’t know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was,” said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. “However, if anything were to qualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it.”
Then University Of Minnesota biologist P.Z. Myers let his feelings on the story be known on his personal blog in the way that he does in a post entitled IT'S A FRACKIN’ CRACKER!. Then the Catholic League's Bill Donohue called for Myers' head in the way that he does. Myers included the text of the resulting hate mail in a separate post. Somewhere in this, the Catholic League claims a Republican delegate asked for additional security at the Republican National Convention in Minnesota to protect Catholics.

As a lapsed Catholic, I find all this happening over a semi-tasty piece of unleavened bread especially crazy. Maybe it'd be justified for a well-cooked piece of Kobe beef. You know, the Japanese cows that get massages and fed organic grain and beer and their meat costs $300 a pound? Those spoiled bovine deserve to be killed and eaten. I think that's the main point of this post.
post #2 of 13
My friend got kicked out of our Catholic school for pinning the Body of Christos to his sweater, and later, at lunch, dunking it in barbecue sauce and declaring it "deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious".
post #3 of 13
Wait till they find out what those heathen pricks at Pepperidge Farm have been doing with His fish.
post #4 of 13
I'm torn between the Sour Cream, Onion & Blasphemy, the White Cheddar Deadly Sin, and the Burn 'N Hell Jalapeno.
post #5 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
I'm torn between the Sour Cream, Onion & Blasphemy, the White Cheddar Deadly Sin, and the Burn 'N Hell Jalapeno.
Oddly enough, the Burn 'N Hell Jalapeno is rather mild.
post #6 of 13
The Sacrilege & Vinegar Christ is actually pretty good, but you can't really dip it in anything.
post #7 of 13
Also that shit practically flays the skin off your mouth.
post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
Also that shit practically flays the skin off your mouth.
I believe the word is "scourges".

ETA: Don't Catholics believe that when a priest blesses the wafer it literally becomes the flesh of Christ? Transubstantiation or something? What kind of bullshit is that?
post #9 of 13
I believe the word is "pedantic".
post #10 of 13
Somebody doesn't get jokes.
post #11 of 13
I get it now!
post #12 of 13
What the Catholics and most Protestants do is not really communion, as they are not really sharing a meal. Communion about siting down and sharing diner.
post #13 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by PMR View Post
Maybe it'd be justified for a well-cooked piece of Kobe beef. You know, the Japanese cows that get massages and fed organic grain and beer and their meat costs $300 a pound? Those spoiled bovine deserve to be killed and eaten. I think that's the main point of this post.
I'm pretty sure thats actually WAGYU beef - and I must confirm to you all that it is a glorious taste sensation.
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