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Our messiahs have arrived!

post #1 of 48
7/13/08 at 9:16pm
Thread Starter 
http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/2...599354000.html

Do NOT like the boy's name, but it could have been much worse.
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post #2 of 48
7/13/08 at 9:30pm
These births coupled with her multiple abductions and jailings of children of varying races finally reveals Angelina Jolie's Hugo Drax-like ambitions. This woman and her cherubic Aryan spawn must be stopped at all costs.
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post #3 of 48
7/13/08 at 9:58pm
You're all just jelluz hayters because the Brangelina babies are better than you.
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post #4 of 48
7/14/08 at 2:11am
Twins are a wonderful thing. I think they can stop now.
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post #5 of 48
7/14/08 at 3:10am
They absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.
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post #6 of 48
7/14/08 at 3:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David View Post
They absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead and your children part of their brood. Your DNA's distinctiveness will be added to their collective. Resistance is futile.
Fixed.
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post #7 of 48
7/14/08 at 10:12am
Until he grows older, I will always imagine a bald David Thewlis or raincoated Robert Wuhl cradled in Jolie's arms.
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post #8 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:16am
Knox and Vivienne, eh? Holy shit, actual names for Hollywood celebrities? My whole world view has dissolved into a puddle of madness.
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post #9 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Knox and Vivienne, eh? Holy shit, actual names for Hollywood celebrities? My whole world view has dissolved into a puddle of madness.
I'll get you a mop.

Anywho, best wishes to the next batch of Jolie-Pitts! Any idea how much $$$ the first pics of these two irascible tykes is going to go for, and which charity will get the funds?
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post #10 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:26am
So . . . Knox, Vivienne, Shiloh, Zahara and Maddox. C'mon, that's a law firm, not kids' names.
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post #11 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
So . . . Knox, Vivienne, Shiloh, Zahara and Maddox. C'mon, that's a law firm, not kids' names.
Don't forget poor little Pax.

I think they're trying to name reindeer for Santa's new post-atomic sleigh.

Angelina's the best Pokemon hunter this side of Japan. Gotta catch 'em all!
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post #12 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:40am
God, you're all named Michael and Steve, aren't you?
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post #13 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
God, you're all named Michael and Steve, aren't you?
What's yer point, Miz Z?

Angelina just keeps picking kids up, stripping them of their original name, and issuing new monikers. Oh, and getting the tattoos of their birthplace's coordinates on her arm. She won't be happy...well, ever.
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post #14 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
What's yer point, Miz Z?
Speaking from experience here - the only problem with having an unusual name is the jerk at every party who thinks it's kosher to say something to the effect of "Why'd they name you that?"

Don't be the jerk at this party.

And, anyway, Vivienne is a great name.
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post #15 of 48
7/14/08 at 11:52am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
I think they're trying to name reindeer for Santa's new post-atomic sleigh.
Hah! Nice one!

Brangelina are the only couple who can stand in front of a group of kids at an orphanage and go, "Got it, got it, need it, need it, need it, got it, got it, need it, got it, got it, need it, need it, need it, got it...."

(I kid, I kid! I actually like them as a couple, but I love that joke. And it's not even my joke! It's a Billy Crystal joke that he did about Donald Trump looking at the NYC skyline).
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post #16 of 48
7/14/08 at 12:05pm
Well, there's naming your kids something odd, and then there's fucking naming them Moon Unit. I hate to be the guy, but I am drawing a line in the sand.


And what's wrong with the name Steve, huh? huh? HUH?!?!
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post #17 of 48
7/14/08 at 12:13pm
I think my favorite is Jason Lee's kid Pilot Inspektor.

If I have a kid, I'm naming it Aviation. I don't care if it's a boy or girl. That's the name.
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post #18 of 48
7/14/08 at 12:15pm
There's nothing wrong with the name Steve. I'm fine with Steve, but lots of people are named Steve.

Moon Unit is, admittedly, weird. Certainly weirder than any of the names Jolie has chosen for her kids. But what the hell, right? I mean, if Ms. Zappa didn't like her name, she could have changed it when she became an adult.
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post #19 of 48
7/14/08 at 12:43pm
I think the names are fine. I mean, I know there's a trend with celebs for weird names, but Knox and Vivianne are normal-yet-unique enough by me.
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post #20 of 48
7/14/08 at 12:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I think the names are fine. I mean, I know there's a trend with celebs for weird names, but Knox and Vivianne are normal-yet-unique enough by me.
Those are all right, but Apple and Audio Science? You're just beggng your kids to be abused when they get to school.
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post #21 of 48
7/14/08 at 1:39pm
Celeb favourite: Kal-El Cage. That one's pretty great.
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post #22 of 48
7/14/08 at 1:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
Those are all right, but Apple and Audio Science? You're just beggng your kids to be abused when they get to school.
Right - my point exactly. Knox and Vivianne are fine. Apple and Audio Science are getting wedgies from kindergarten through 12.
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post #23 of 48
7/14/08 at 1:59pm
Unless the other kids want to come over and swim in their pools, that is.
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post #24 of 48
7/14/08 at 2:29pm
Madonna named her son Rocco. The name sorta makes you think of a certain pornstar.
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post #25 of 48
7/14/08 at 2:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic Boom View Post

If I have a kid, I'm naming it Aviation. I don't care if it's a boy or girl. That's the name.
They can be nicknamed "Avvy" for short. I could see that.
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post #26 of 48
7/14/08 at 3:17pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
Angelina's the best Pokemon hunter this side of Japan. Gotta catch 'em all!
AHAHAAAAAAA!
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post #27 of 48
7/14/08 at 3:19pm
Mickey Mouse Bongo.
Nixon Audiotape.
Zeppelin hangover.
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post #28 of 48
7/14/08 at 3:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
These births coupled with her multiple abductions and jailings of children of varying races finally reveals Angelina Jolie's Hugo Drax-like ambitions. This woman and her cherubic Aryan spawn must be stopped at all costs.
I want them to remake Moonraker now with Angelina as Hugo Drax, by way of David Cronenberg's The Brood.

"See that some harm comes to Mr Bond, my children....."
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post #29 of 48
7/14/08 at 3:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter View Post
Madonna named her son Rocco. The name sorta makes you think of a certain pornstar.
In some places, yeah. But that name does carry a "Do NOT Fuck With" connotation here in Jersey. You fuck with Rocco, Rocco will fuck with you, and not in a nice way.
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post #30 of 48
7/14/08 at 5:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
Those are all right, but Apple and Audio Science? You're just beggng your kids to be abused when they get to school.
I still don't get why people get so worked up over "Apple." It's not typical, but the word has a positive connotation (unless you have some sort of fruit allergy), it has a pleasant sound, and it's not all that different than, say, "Daisy." Removed from the context of "gosh, what'll those crazy celebrities think of next?", it's actually kind of pretty. It's not like "Pilot Inspektor" or "Audio Science," which admittedly sound like the results of some sort of random word generator.

Also - if you're Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's kid (or Pitt's and Jolie's, etc.), what's the likelihood that the biggest deal on the playground is going to be your first name?
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post #31 of 48
7/14/08 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mastronikolas View Post
Mickey Mouse Bongo.
Nixon Audiotape.
Zeppelin hangover.
I always assumed I just wanted one, maybe two kids, but now I want to use all those names.

Would it look weird if the kid was named Nixon Zeppelin Audiotape Hangover Anderson, or do I still fall short of Pilot Inspektor?
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post #32 of 48
7/14/08 at 5:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
Those are all right, but Apple and Audio Science? You're just beggng your kids to be abused when they get to school.
I used to think that, but I realized they'll be going to school with other celebrity kids with equally stupid names.
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post #33 of 48
7/14/08 at 5:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
But that name does carry a "Do NOT Fuck With" connotation here in Jersey.
Well, that settles it. I'm moving.
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post #34 of 48
7/14/08 at 10:41pm
I think we can assume that the children of movie stars and rock stars aren't going to be at the bottom of the social totem pole at school. I don't think getting picked on is going to be their biggest problem. Figuring out who their real friends are is going to be the far bigger threat.
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post #35 of 48
7/15/08 at 6:45am
I have a sneaking suspicion these children will be privately schooled by tutors and whatnot. You know, because their parents are kinda filthy rich?
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post #36 of 48
7/15/08 at 12:40pm
Right. In which case, their biggest problem will be social retardation.
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post #37 of 48
7/15/08 at 12:52pm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David View Post
Right. In which case, their biggest problem will be social retardation.
Social retardation? Preposterous! Unheard of.
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post #38 of 48
7/15/08 at 1:33pm
Vivienne (and Vivianne) is a common woman's name in France...kudos to Brangelina for going native.
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post #39 of 48
7/15/08 at 2:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SneakyPete View Post
Vivienne (and Vivianne) is a common woman's name in France...kudos to Brangelina for going native.
I'm pretty sure the baby girl's middle name, Marcheline, was Angelina's mother's (who died recently) name.
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post #40 of 48
7/15/08 at 4:55pm
Pregnancy has been good for Angelina. She was wasting away there for a bit. Let the suckling begin!


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post #41 of 48
7/15/08 at 6:15pm
She's still freakishly emaciated. I look at those bony arms and the pregnant belly and get a mental image of the Newborn from Alien Resurrection. A couple of years ago, I'd look at Angelina and just get a boner.
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post #42 of 48
7/15/08 at 6:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mastronikolas View Post
She's still freakishly emaciated. I look at those bony arms and the pregnant belly and get a mental image of the Newborn from Alien Resurrection. A couple of years ago, I'd look at Angelina and just get a boner.
Well, this guy begs to differ.
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post #43 of 48
7/15/08 at 8:50pm
Thread Starter 
Most starlets have no excuse for being so damn thin. Angie started getting thin right around the time that her mother's health took a turn for the worst, so I can be more sympathetic to her situation. That and the fact that she's got enough kids to form her own Justice League, a career to maintain, and a lover to fuck. No time to eat.
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post #44 of 48
7/15/08 at 8:59pm
It's like Angelina is living in a fucking benetton commercial.
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post #45 of 48
7/15/08 at 9:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma View Post
It's like Angelina is living in a fucking benetton commercial.
No, she's fucking after the Benetton commercial goes to bed.
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post #46 of 48
7/22/08 at 2:37pm
I am beginning to think that Angelina is a borg infiltrator sent here to assimilate. Its either that or that she wants to avoid the pain of birth and adopt instead.
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post #47 of 48
7/22/08 at 2:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
This woman and her cherubic Aryan spawn must be stopped at all costs.
None of her kids look Indian to me.
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post #48 of 48
7/22/08 at 3:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Thain View Post
I am beginning to think that Angelina is a borg infiltrator sent here to assimilate. Its either that or that she wants to avoid the pain of birth and adopt instead.
Well, if she's trying to avoid the pain of childbirth, she's doing a poor job. I just think she wants to fill her boutique nursery with boutique children.

There's a lot going on behind this mania for kids. There's childhood trauma of her father leaving his family. There's guilt from her doing so well when there's others with much less. There's also guilt from how she stole her husband from his last wife.

Of course, I am a trained psychotic therapist. That's where I got my doctorate.
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