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It's My fault

post #1 of 40
7/14/08 at 3:25am
Thread Starter 
It's really all my fault.

Mine.

While I was watching Entourage, American soldiers were dying.

Flight of the Conchords kept me amused. Meanwhile, the world kept turning. Blood kept being spilled. But my Xbox 360 needed updating. Call of Duty needed my attention. Real-life bloodshed? That blood is unimportant. It's spilling as we speak. Who cares? Our fellow Americans are losing limbs and suffering head injuries and life-changing disabilities, and I'm drinking vodka and blogging about John McCain. The Iraqis? They're brown, who gives a shit, unless it wins me an argument?

I've done nothing. I'm hollow. All I do is brag about my dissent on liberal blogs.

I've failed my democracy. I've failed patriots like yt. And Frank Cobretti. And Canadians like Seabass. And human beings in general.

When my country dies, point at me. It's my fault.
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post #2 of 40
7/14/08 at 1:42pm
You're drunk!
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post #3 of 40
7/14/08 at 1:44pm


And Now for something, completely different.
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post #4 of 40
7/14/08 at 2:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
It's really all my fault.

Mine.

While I was watching Entourage, American soldiers were dying.

Flight of the Conchords kept me amused. Meanwhile, the world kept turning. Blood kept being spilled. But my Xbox 360 needed updating. Call of Duty needed my attention. Real-life bloodshed? That blood is unimportant. It's spilling as we speak. Who cares? Our fellow Americans are losing limbs and suffering head injuries and life-changing disabilities, and I'm drinking vodka and blogging about John McCain. The Iraqis? They're brown, who gives a shit, unless it wins me an argument?

I've done nothing. I'm hollow. All I do is brag about my dissent on liberal blogs.

I've failed my democracy. I've failed patriots like yt. And Frank Cobretti. And Canadians like Seabass. And human beings in general.

When my country dies, point at me. It's my fault.
I appreciate your candor, Jacob, as well as your willingness to take the responsibility for your actions.

There's only one action you can take to properly address the error of your ways.

Sell everything you own, and give the proceeds to the Veterans charity of your choice.

After that, go to one of the many organizations signing up folks for overseas charity work like the Peace Corps. Ask to take assignment to one of the locations in the Middle East. A few years of good work for good people will clear your conscience.

Either that, or buy another 360. Your old one's about to melt down anyway.
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post #5 of 40
7/14/08 at 3:08pm
Singer, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
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post #6 of 40
7/14/08 at 3:12pm
I'll be cursing your name every time I pay $50 to fill up my tank.

"Fuck you, Jacob," I'll say. "Fuck you straight to hell."
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post #7 of 40
7/14/08 at 3:16pm
I knew that sonofabitching Singer was behind all of this. ALL OF IT. ALL. *angrily points finger of doom*
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post #8 of 40
7/14/08 at 3:20pm
Gee, thanks Singer.


How was Entourage? I can't tell if I've missed a season yet or not, since I got rid of HBO.
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post #9 of 40
7/14/08 at 3:21pm
Hey Chris, focus, there are people dying and we're all here laughing about how our lives are pretty good. We should all be fucking ashamed ourselves. Singer pointed that and god bless him, the fucker, fucking things up for everybody...
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post #10 of 40
7/14/08 at 4:00pm
At times like this I just remember that apathy is what the world is built on and go about my life. Right now I have a lot of problem coming at me. I just have to remind myself no matter how fucked up my life is right now. At least 9 out of 10 people would trade their life for mine in a heart beat, and that is truly a sad state of affairs.
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post #11 of 40
7/14/08 at 4:25pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post
You're drunk!
Smartass Canadian.
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post #12 of 40
7/14/08 at 4:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
Smartass Canadian.
Is there any other kind?
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post #13 of 40
7/14/08 at 5:03pm
I forgot to pay my phone bill this month. Since you're taking on the sins of the world and all, can I blame you for that too?
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post #14 of 40
7/14/08 at 5:24pm
Kill yourself,
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post #15 of 40
7/14/08 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthSidious View Post
Kill yourself,
Don't you have a case of erectile dysfunction to tend to?
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post #16 of 40
7/14/08 at 5:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Don't you have a case of erectile dysfunction to tend to?
That's Jacob's fault as well. Who can compete with that magnitude of studly ability? It's downright neutering....or so I've read. Ahem.
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post #17 of 40
7/14/08 at 5:48pm
Whew! Man, I was looking for a scapegoat. Thanks, Singer!
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post #18 of 40
7/14/08 at 6:51pm
Thread Starter 
Seabass was obviously right, though -- I was freakin' hammered when I wrote this. So embarrassing...
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post #19 of 40
7/14/08 at 7:24pm
Most intelligent drunk post ever
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post #20 of 40
7/14/08 at 7:28pm
Pretty much yeah.
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post #21 of 40
7/14/08 at 7:44pm
How does someone take the time to italicize words when they're drunk? It should have been something like this:

My fault dead people I can has blame. 360 Entourage.

Life is bullshit.
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post #22 of 40
7/14/08 at 7:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
Seabass was obviously right, though -- I was freakin' hammered when I wrote this. So embarrassing...
look on the bright side now I know who to blame for the fact that I am on my last bottle of Cuban Rum. I get depressed each time I pour a glass.
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post #23 of 40
7/14/08 at 11:23pm
Sidious, if you're going to insult drunk, italicizing, contextually-linking Singer, at least try to correctly handle the one punctuation mark you tasked yourself with.
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post #24 of 40
7/15/08 at 1:32am
Musta been one hell of a night, JS! But anyway, I feel your pain.
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post #25 of 40
7/15/08 at 6:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post
You're drunk!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer
Smartass Canadian.
Close.
What you should of said,
"...and you, sir, are Canadian....but tomorrow I will be sober!"

Then I realised this is Singer we're talking about, so scrub the sober part.
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post #26 of 40
7/15/08 at 7:11am
Wait... American soldiers were dying because you were watching Entourage?
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post #27 of 40
7/15/08 at 7:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
Wait... American soldiers were dying because you were watching Entourage?
Well, DUH!!
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post #28 of 40
7/15/08 at 7:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
Wait... American soldiers were dying because you were watching Entourage?
Bees?!, you have to remember that the evildoers hate us for our freedom. And Entourage is nothing but a celebration of Western moral decay or "freedom" and the manifest realization of every Western male's dreams and the hegemonic power relation on which such Occidental fantasies are grounded and grounded upon the poor brothers of the Orient.
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post #29 of 40
7/15/08 at 7:39am
...or as I said, DUH!!
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post #30 of 40
7/15/08 at 7:11pm
Singer, it's not your fault. See, in the US we ignore and neglect senior citizens. There's no way anyone would pay attention to you long enough for you to affect the problems in the world one way or the other.
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post #31 of 40
7/15/08 at 8:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gravedigger View Post
Singer, it's not your fault. See, in the US we ignore and neglect senior citizens. There's no way anyone would pay attention to you long enough for you to affect the problems in the world one way or the other.
that is low
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post #32 of 40
7/15/08 at 8:19pm
Jacob, should you be drinking that much? I mean, a guy your age?
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post #33 of 40
7/15/08 at 8:26pm
Have you ever met someone who lived past 95? Ain't none of them vegans. It's the hard drinking, hard smoking types (okay, like .5% of them) who hit the century mark.
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post #34 of 40
7/15/08 at 9:41pm
They spent a good part of their lives eating meat that wasn't full of chemicals nature doesn't put in cows and breathing air that wasn't brown, too. That can't hurt. Not many Tibetans fuse to their couches so they need to have them removed surgically, I'll bet.
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post #35 of 40
7/15/08 at 10:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post
Not many Tibetans fuse to their couches so they need to have them removed surgically, I'll bet.
Cultural difference. Buddhists become one with the universe, we become one with the sofa.
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post #36 of 40
7/15/08 at 10:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
Have you ever met someone who lived past 95? Ain't none of them vegans. It's the hard drinking, hard smoking types (okay, like .5% of them) who hit the century mark.
Well, I personally think it's because around 80 they put down the scotch and pick up the formaldehyde.
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post #37 of 40
7/15/08 at 11:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post
They spent a good part of their lives eating meat that wasn't full of chemicals nature doesn't put in cows and breathing air that wasn't brown, too. That can't hurt. Not many Tibetans fuse to their couches so they need to have them removed surgically, I'll bet.
*ahem* Overall air quality has gone UP over the past few decades - say, half century or so. So has water quality.

The guys who industrialized the country would've beaten EPA inspectors to death with their mighty testicles whilst swilling sherry and enjoying a fine cigar.
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post #38 of 40
7/16/08 at 1:37am
Yeah, all right. But all cities with heavy traffic have awful air quality compared to places where traffic is not, despite the improvements. George Burns lived so long because he had the sort of medical care wealthy old people can afford, not because he smoked particularly fine cigars. And the less said about stuff in food the better because I don't want to end up all weepy and maudlin and drunk like Singer.
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post #39 of 40
7/16/08 at 1:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post
Yeah, all right. But all cities with heavy traffic have awful air quality compared to places where traffic is not, despite the improvements.
I could be wrong about this, but I think it's probablya difference between fine particulate and heavy particulate. From all I've heard/read, the stench of most large, industrialized cities at the turn of the century would have probably induced vomiting in a 21st-century person about 10 miles upwind.
Quote:
George Burns lived so long because he had the sort of medical care wealthy old people can afford, not because he smoked particularly fine cigars.
Yeah, I mean look at how long his wife lived.

But in the West, I guess it depends on what you term "wealthy" - I don't mean to be Pollyanna here, but life spans in Western nations are at historical highs (they lived chemical- and pollution-free in the Middle Ages...for an average of about 38 years), AND CLIMBING.

Quote:
And the less said about stuff in food the better because I don't want to end up all weepy and maudlin and drunk like Singer.
Point conceded on this one.
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post #40 of 40
7/16/08 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez View Post
But in the West, I guess it depends on what you term "wealthy" - I don't mean to be Pollyanna here, but life spans in Western nations are at historical highs (they lived chemical- and pollution-free in the Middle Ages...for an average of about 38 years), AND CLIMBING.
But the chemicals from which they were free included antiseptics and penicillin. It'd be interesting to read on all the factors that go into life expectancy, both good and bad, but I think it's beyond us. Is life expectancy higher because of cleaner air? Better food? Medical science? Why can 65 year-old Tibetan women walk from Tibet to India in sneakers when 21 year-old Canadian men can't make it across a parking lot without a nap when life expectancy here is so high?

I hate the soft gooshy sciences.
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