New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Obesity

post #1 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:40pm
Thread Starter 
Jesus Christ, I just saw a woman with two stomachs drooping out of her midriff-baring t-shirt. One was on top of the other and they flopped against each other like handclaps.

Then on the bus were a male and female who appeared to be spherical humans. I am not sure how they walked without rolling.

Now, I don't know if these individuals have any medical disorders, so I have to try and reserve my judgment - though regardless, this shite is a depressing problem in North America.

I guess it was the medieval ages (didn't do my research - some period back when!) when ridiculously fat women were depicted naked and sprawled out on sheets, as figures of beauty. How times have changed, now that we can all become grossly obese with ease.

And I don't want to be too critical of body mass or health. If anything, health alarmism bothers me much. But Jesus, look how EXTREMELY fat we're becoming! It's absurd.
Reply
post #2 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:42pm
What's your point?
Reply
post #3 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:45pm
What's the deal with airplane food?
Reply
post #4 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:49pm
I think Mr. Louse is inviting us to post in a thread devoted exclusively to fat jokes. He just wanted to preface it with an earnest observation to make us feel less guilty about making fun of the large. Right?

So who's going first?
Reply
post #5 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:51pm
I can't. I'd be called a fat nazi!
Reply
post #6 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Eaton View Post
I think Mr. Louse is inviting us to post in a thread devoted exclusively to fat jokes. He just wanted to preface it with an earnest observation to make us feel less guilty about making fun of the large. Right?

So who's going first?
What about those front-butted fucks in the wheelchairs at Wal-Mart, eh?

(Fat-hate + franchise-hate = awesome.)
Reply
post #7 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:54pm
To late
Reply
post #8 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:55pm
Maybe we can use this thread for "yo mama's so fat" jokes?
Reply
post #9 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:57pm
You'd have to ask yo mama to move out from in front of the computer screen first Misfit
Reply
post #10 of 156
7/23/08 at 2:59pm
Yo mama's so fat that she got stuck in a chair at the theater and saw Dark Knight five times in one weekend.

On second thought, maybe just close the thread?
Reply
post #11 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:01pm
You forgot the "and died like Heath Ledger" part of that joke
Reply
post #12 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:07pm
Yo momma's so fat, she'd never win the title of "Miss Fit".
Reply
post #13 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martianman View Post
Yo momma's so fat, she'd never win the title of "Miss Fit".
lpogtjdtop;yldl

Oh I'm sorry, that's how yo mamma types LOL.
Reply
post #14 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:10pm
Yo momma's so fat, she gets confused with Mars, man.
Reply
post #15 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:12pm
Yo momma's so fat she was hired to grab the cookies in the Chips Ahoy commercials.
Reply
post #16 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:13pm
Yo momma's so fat, she looks like she got 4 Tati's instead of two.
Reply
post #17 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Baker View Post
Yo momma's so fat she was hired to grab the cookies in the Chips Ahoy commercials.
Wow I almost spit my drink all over my computer on that one.
Reply
post #18 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:24pm
I think fat people must use more soap. I mean, how do they afford it?
Reply
post #19 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:27pm
Yo momma's so fat I will mock her on the bus by yelling "Yo fatty fatty fatty!" and then I'll hit her with a stick and ask "Why are you so fat?!" until she howls and I'll laugh and so will everybody else because yo momma's so fat.
Reply
post #20 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahoatam View Post
I think fat people must use more soap. I mean, how do they afford it?
Dude! Have you ever smelled a fat person?? There is no extra soap involved... *shudders*
Reply
post #21 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:40pm
Run a search for fat people on Google Images....I dare ya! There's pictures of things you never thought possible, that will also make you vomit. Which is why I won't post any of em' here, but if you hate yourself like I do, have fun!
Reply
post #22 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:42pm
Reply
post #23 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:44pm
Yo momma is so fat, when she walks, it looks like two skinny people tumbling around in a large flesh colored sack.
Reply
post #24 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:45pm
Do fat people have sex? And by that I mean: Is it physically possible when both of you weigh 300+ pounds and neither of you are members of the NFL?

If any of you fatties out there can answer this question, it would be much appreciated!

/Looks at Devin

Sorry, couldn't resist.
Reply
post #25 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post

/Looks at Devin
I think I'll leave this thread for a while now *slowly backs away*
Reply
post #26 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
Do fat people have sex? And by that I mean: Is it physically possible when both of you weigh 300+ pounds and neither of you are members of the NFL?

If any of you fatties out there can answer this question, it would be much appreciated!
They use grabbers.
Reply
post #27 of 156
7/23/08 at 3:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Hello new wallpaper.
Reply
post #28 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
They use grabbers.
This doesn't seem to explain their inexplicable ability to procreate at will. My guess is that theres something far more sinister at work here.
Reply
post #29 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:02pm
A: That cake looks delicious
B: Fat people prefer to be on the bottom
C: Even for a fat guy like myself, the phrase "Fatty Fatty Booballatty" is still hilarious

I can warn all of you who for some reason aspire to be plus size, the eventual diabetes sucks. I have, however, recently lost another 15 pounds, which is cool.

Oh, and we do use more soap....or we just smell really bad.
Reply
post #30 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:03pm
They all have horse cocks, that'll do it.
Reply
post #31 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hessbri View Post
They all have horse cocks, that'll do it.
Yes. Yes, that's it.......
Reply
post #32 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:22pm
Yo mama's so fat she's going to die from hypertension and an enlarged heart.
Reply
post #33 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Yo mama's so fat she's going to die from hypertension and an enlarged heart.
Hyptertension sounds so much worse then it actually is. I used to think it was when you had an erection for more than 4 hours.
Reply
post #34 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:33pm
The first two paragraphs sound like they were culled from the countless notebooks in John Doe's apartment in Se7en.
Reply
post #35 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Yo mama's so fat she's going to die from hypertension and an enlarged heart.
Yo momma is so fat, her blood is butter.
Reply
post #36 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:36pm
I just read this one somewhere recently. So while not mine, it's my favorite one of these in a while.

Yo mama is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.
Reply
post #37 of 156
7/23/08 at 4:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Will Kane View Post
The first two paragraphs sound like they were culled from the countless notebooks in John Doe's apartment in Se7en.
Yea I just went back and re-read it. Thats pretty fucking hilarious man.
Reply
post #38 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:02pm


ETA: Apparently Photobucket hates fat people. What a bunch of sizist bastards.
Reply
post #39 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:09pm
My dad used to have this boss who was huge and whenever someone would come looking for him this would happen.

Co-worker "Is Bob around?"
My dad "If he was a couple of inches shorter, he would be."

My dad would then start cackling wildly in his awesome hyena laugh.

It doesn't sound that funny but imagine a tobacco-chewing toothless hillbilly who is only about 5'4" laughing like a loon and you will get the idea.
Reply
post #40 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Baker View Post
...but imagine a tobacco-chewing toothless hillbilly who is only about 5'4" laughing like a loon and you will get the idea.
Great, now the thread has progressed into daddy issues.
Reply
post #41 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
A crack in the crotch that big isn't called a "camel toe". It's called a "moose knuckle".

Carry on.

P.S. I've never had airplane food. What do airplanes eat?
Reply
post #42 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:24pm
That.... that woman. She has a butt on her vagina.
Reply
post #43 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
That.... that woman. She has a butt on her vagina.
I am alternately appalled and wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. You win, fair Lisa, you win! Short girls still rock!
Reply
post #44 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:33pm
Yo mama's so fat, I would get drunk and have sex with her.
Reply
post #45 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
Do fat people have sex? And by that I mean: Is it physically possible when both of you weigh 300+ pounds and neither of you are members of the NFL?

Jerry, a guy I work with, and his wife Melissa both weigh between 350-400lbs. They have a two-year-old daughter.

I don't know how they did it either. I'm guessing there were some pullys and levers involved. Not to mention some split second timing. There might have been a third party in the room as well. For safety reasons.
Reply
post #46 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:44pm
Ahem.

You're mother's has a great deal of girth, which why it pains me both emotionally and physically that I slept with her. Thankfully - though I was visibly intoxicated - we practiced safe sex because I only penetrated her anally, and we did that doggy style, as my body could not withstand her girth.

Though afterwards she told me that's how you were born.
Reply
post #47 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
Do fat people have sex? And by that I mean: Is it physically possible when both of you weigh 300+ pounds and neither of you are members of the NFL?

.
All you need is some flour to find the goods and pure determination.
Reply
post #48 of 156
7/23/08 at 5:55pm
I almost died when I saw that the banner ad currently at the top of this thread is this:

Reply
post #49 of 156
7/23/08 at 6:01pm
(Looks above)

SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS!
Reply
post #50 of 156
7/23/08 at 6:03pm
I would SO rep Olson & Lisa now if I could. . .
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Chewers Catch-All