The Most Hilarious 80s Rock Videos

It's like the lead singer wandered in from a different band, but the awesome power of TWO flying V guitars brought them together.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DagIivbPlCU

Special emphasis from 2:45 - 2:59.

I run out of patience on mystery links. I just wanted to say it.

Ratt - Round and Round. The only 80s metal video to feature Milton Fucking Berle. And he's not even the most awesome thing about the video.

Ronnie Dio-Holy Diver

It's like some bastard child of Conan and Highlander.

Have to give them credit for at least trying to be funny in that one.

I'm not sure what's going on in Hall & Oates's - She's Gone video.

They seem to give up after ten seconds, but the "director" never says cut.

YouTube's blocked here at work - but let me take a guess. It's the video for "Rock Me Tonight", isn't it?

If I'm right, here's a little trivia for you - did you know that that video is thought to have singlehandedly ruined his career? Even his core group of fans just never took him seriously again after that. Nothing wrong with the SONG - from what I've read, it was the video that did it.

Oh yes.

Normally I would say that's a shame...but "Rock Me Tonight" is the kind of video that should kill careers.

Side note: this video (along with Journey's "Separate Ways") always makes me sad that I never taped MTV's "25 Lame," a sort of "Mystery Science Theater" for bad videos starring Jon Stewart, Janeanne Garafalo, Denis Leary and Chris Kattan. It's probably the funniest thing MTV's aired since "The State" went off the air.

I tell ya, Journey's "Seperate Ways" had me crying when I saw that one dude play the shit out of his keyboard. On a wall. I also recommend Kiss' "Lick It Up" - it's nice to know that in a post-apocalyptic society of girls with '80s hair and tight, torn, clothing, Paul Stanley can rock himself some cheetah boots, and all may partkae of day-glo food.

I did a hunt around YouTube on my iPhone, and sadly, I don't think there's a video to be found for "Into the Night" by Benny Mardones - the ones on YouTube all seem to be home made by users. I saw bits and pieces of a very early video to the song (it was about a year before MTV, 1980, so not alot of singers or bands were doing them yet), and I was in tears. Just the most hilarious fucking thing I've seen. He's ugly as sin, he's wearing one of those tight tight tight striped 1980s rock guy muscle shirts. He's got a shag haircut, and at one point he's on a payphone, and then BOOM - he's out on this raft or a barge or something. Just floating along, with his big hideous profile, I think the girl he's in love with is floating along with him, and I just don't know what the fuck. He's like some grotesque mook from the Bronx, just yakkin' on a payphone and then floating up The Hudson.

Interestingly enough, he had a hit with this song twice - once in 1980, which is what I think the version I'm talking about is from, and then again in 1988 - same song, rereleased, big hit all over again. If he made an actual better video for it at that time, I haven't seen it. The bits I saw HAD to be from the 1980 original version, it just screamed "Rough video from 1980" - the hair, the clothes, the really really harsh lighting, it had to be earlier.

Iam Siam!

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJouJJLbY3Q

It's the 'no budget post apocalyptic' 80s videos that always made me laugh.

Scorpions: 'Rock you Like a Hurricane' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB8HudfbaTE

Oh sweet fuck. There are precious little morsels of this on the Time/Life Soft Rock infomerical, hosted by Air Supply. I tivo'd it. The little fella looks like Bilbo.



Edit: Benny today!

That's where it was! Phil, you rock, you found it! I couldn't remember where I'd seen the hideousness before, and that was it - the Air Supply infomerical for the Time Life set. If only there was a clip - it's golden in it's own horrifying way. Can you make clips from Tivo? Can you post it? You'd be the thread HERO if you did!

Asia - Don't Cry

What any of this has to do with the song still escapes me twenty years later.

To this day, I still think that Dokken was one of the best rock bands of the 80s. George Lynch is one my favorite guitarists of all time.

That being said, they certainly put out some cringe-worthy videos:

'Breaking the Chains' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQb1t_Yw0S8
Check out George playing a guitar strung with chains...

'The Hunter' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAiiFfnrALA
Jeff Pilson, the bassist, has an interesting dream sequence.

'Dream Warriors' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEcjUE6XDeY

I can burn tivo to a dvd, then rip the dvd to youtube or something. It'll be a while.

Or... go to 1:35. And check out Gino Vanelli while you're at it. Fuck it, watch the whole thing.

I can't wait to get home so I can see these. This is like fucking Christmas!

And yeah, however long it takes you, no rush - something like that would be worth the wait.

Benny from his album cover when the 1980 first release was out.



Not that the one you posted is any less frightening. I love how in your picture, he's plastic-surgeried himself into looking like someone's mom.

And I have to confess - I fucking LOVE that song. There's something so over-wrought about it, but I just really do love it. And I always wondered what he looked like till I saw the Time Life infomercial. Now I wonder if they made him record it with a bag over his head.

EDIT - Phil, you magnificent bastard! I can't wait to get home - I'm making popcorn for this viewing!

I'm sorry, but Holy Diver barely scratches the surface of Dio cheese.

I give you:

Rock N' Roll Children

The Last In Line

Remember kiddies, don't sell that guitar, and kids play 8-bit video games...IN HELL!

Also check out Queensryche's Queen Of The Reich (the only video I've ever seen with a roll-up at the beginning)
and Megadeth's Peace Sells (not the cheesiest thing ever, but 2:20-2:34 put it in some kind of hall of fame).

This isnt necessarily funny.. but very 80's.

I shit you not. This guy at work gave me W.A.S.P. The best of the best CD to listen to today and said these were the gods of metal.

so this is what I've been listening to today..

WASP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV6noHEd6XE

Motorhead - Killed by Death

What the fuck?! Fuck you Youtube.
(please tell me what musicvideo you linked to)

Accept: 'Balls to the Wall'

How is Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" not on here already?

Oh man that's nothing. The video for Wild Child is where it's at.

That's not a rock video. That's Lemmy's real life.

Holy shit, I taped this infomercial, and I've watched it a bunch of times. The funniest part, a guaranteed laugh:

Rupert Holmes and his troupe of nerds singing "Him". Rupert is the alpha nerd, really into the song, and there's a fat nerd "rocking out" on bass behind him, and they have a female nerd singing backup, the sort of the female nerd who male nerds hang around because they think she makes them look cooler.

I'm home now, and Phil, I swear if you ever come to NY, I am personally buying you the biggest beer money can buy!

As a fairly big Hall & Oates fan, I never saw the video for "She's Gone" - worth ever single weird second, I loved that.

W.A.S.P.! I loved them!

They were pretty self-aware though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMJ-A...eature=related

Special guest stars at the 3:20 mark

Back to Benny. The song starts with these lines:

She's just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they say

Then he claims that if he could fly, he'd pick her up, take her into the night and show her a love like she's never seen. Strong words to a minor, from a guy who looks like this:



Chilling.

Motley Crue - Too Young To Fall In Love and Looks That Kill.

C'mon, folks - you can make a tasty fondue from all the cheese on display here. Though, it is nice to know that if I'm ever attacked by nubile, barbarian, warrior goddess babes in shredded clothing, Crue's got my back.

ETA: Oh, and how can we forget... THIS? Safe to assume quite a few of us were singing into hairbrushes whenever this puppy showed up on MTV. Makes me miss Martha Quinn and Nina Blackwood all the more.

Thanks.
I used to be a huge Accept fan when i was a wee kid in the 80s.

Men at Work "Down Under":

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DNT7uZf7lew

The way the dude scoops up and chews the cereal is the money shot.

I did a paper in college about rock lyrics (when the PMRC first raised it's ugly head) and started it with the first set of lyrics from "Animal - Fuck Like A Beast". And then I played the song, along with the videos for "Looks That Kill" and "Parental Guidance" in class. My professor changed my grade from an "A" to an "A+" when I was done with my presentation. The only assignment in college I really ever gave a shit about doing well.

EDIT: Oh, and here's a fav of mine: Take It Easy from "American Anthem"

Obscure. Ridiculous. Glorious. White Sister - "April" (You're No Fool)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CFpw4wIvPU

Not cheesy but I always found this one amusing.

Stevie Ray Vaughan-Cold Shot

This thread is awesome. My avatar approves.

Yeah, Dio is the master of cheesiness. I remember coming across his video for "Rainbow in the Dark" on VH1 at like 3AM one night. Funny thing about it is he's singing on a rooftop(most likely a strip club or bar of some sort), in broad day light. In fact, it looked like it was a beautiful day. Yet he's screaming about rainbows. In the Dark.

No sign of tha moooo'ninn''

Over twenty posts and no mention of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK2B-KzizQg ? Squidlly doo!




Edited for the fact this computer is not letting me hyperlink for some reason.

Phil, I can't even tell you the shiny presents and beers I want to buy for you right now. You captured the exact moment of hideousness. Dude is the very definition of "Mo' Fugly".

I had a fucking DREAM about him the night before last. And in the dream the line was "She's just 16 years old/leave me alone, she says".

And on that Time/Life collection - if they could offer me a DVD of all the performances in that collection, I'd buy it in a second.

You know how it sometimes seems like every actor wants to be a musician and every musician wants to be an actor? Well, in the early 80s, all the musicians wanted to be adventurers. Who needs literal song interpretations when you've got bad special effects and a jungle soundstage. If you can go on location, even better!

Duran Duran pulled it off better than most (and I might even take the cold war/people's revolution vibe of "New Moon on Monday" over the faux-James Bond of "Rio" or the not-so-faux-James Bond of "View to a Kill") , but I still have a soft spot for Chicago attempting a bizarro car chase and a Raiders/Casablanca hybrid.

I work with bad 80s videos all day, so I think I've become numb to them, or heck, even started to like some of them.

Still...Night Ranger - Don't Tell Me You Love Me never fails to put a smile on my face for its cheesiness. More fans! MORE FANS DAMMIT!

Amazing.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-3uvf0cn0jo

Thank you for the link to "Along Comes a Woman" - I loved that video, way back when...

I'm about to cry right now, because I can't find the 17 minute "mini-film" version of "New Moon on Monday" online to link to... you'd figure someone would have it up, since it's an easter egg on their greatest hits dvd.

Simon has the most ridiculous line readings, ever... but, I still love that video (and song) - all four (or five) versions of it.