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The County Fair - Page 2

post #51 of 173
7/30/08 at 1:31pm
This thread makes me want to head down to Nathan's at Coney Island and gorge myself on their exquisite selection of food. And then top it off with a CI funnel cake.

(We don't get the fairs really here in the big ol city, so the Island will have to suffice)
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post #52 of 173
7/30/08 at 1:42pm
I just want some fucking alligator. I miss the South sometimes.
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post #53 of 173
7/30/08 at 1:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
I just want some fucking alligator. I miss the South sometimes.
come to Minnesota.

Bayou Bob's Gator Shack
Offering: Alligator (breaded, deep fried and seasoned), sauteed alligator in garlic olive oil, cajun seasoned alligator sausage on-a-stick, pistolette (french roll stuffed with spicy peppers, cheese and tomatoes), cajun fries, onion flavored hush puppies, smoked or barbecue alligator ribs, fried alligator legs, frozen grapes, chicory coffee, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Sierra Mist, Mt. Dew, sugar free lemonade.
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post #54 of 173
7/30/08 at 1:56pm
Deep fried sausage bites. Little chunks of sausage battered and fried. Then served with cheese sauce. Jesus, just shove it right into my aorta, it'll save me the effort of chewing.
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post #55 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:01pm
Everything's about movies, food, or fucking around here. Now, excuse me while I get blown watching SEVEN SAMURAI and eating a giant carny cream puff.
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post #56 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:01pm
Thread Starter 
This is my local fair, in all its glory. http://www.hartfordfair.com/

My wife is the leader of a 4-H club so we will literally be living at the fair for the next week and a half. We have a camper set up on the grounds and a few of our friends usually take most of the week off to hang out. It might not sound that great but for me it is a cheap, fun vacation. On the other hand, a weeks worth of fair food is almost enough to kill me.
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post #57 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:04pm
Anyone else have a Renaissance Festival starting up soon? Ours starts in a week or so and runs for 7 weeks. Nothing like getting hammered while wearing a kilt and scarfing down a genuine 17th century turkey leg. Our festival is all about alcohol consumption and pottery.
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post #58 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:05pm
Nordling, you get extra points if the carny who gave you the food is the carny who's blowing you.
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post #59 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:07pm
I'm looking at the Hartford Fair events and there's something called an "Open Pleasure Horse Show."*

Tickets bought.

*Yes, I'm sure that's supposed to be "pasture". Makes it funnier.
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post #60 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Nordling, you get extra points if the carny who gave you the food is the carny who's blowing you.
Sorry, but I'd draw the line at a meth-mouth blowjob.
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post #61 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:09pm
Not me. Less teeth.
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post #62 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:11pm
Have at it, then.

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post #63 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:13pm
Honestly, how do you even let your teeth get into that horrid a condition?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go vomit the deep fried Reeses Cup I had for lunch and the 50 cent 40oz Night Flight bottle I washed it down with.
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post #64 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:15pm
I'm still trying to get past the "Open Pleasure Horse Show."
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post #65 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Honestly, how do you even let your teeth get into that horrid a condition?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go vomit the deep fried Reeses Cup I had for lunch and the 50 cent 40oz Night Flight bottle I washed it down with.
I'm not sure I follow, Doc. I thought everyone's teeth looked like that. Doesn't everyone know that if our teeth were supposed to look perfect god would keep them from rotting?
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post #66 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:18pm
I ran down to the seafood place near the office and got some fried gator for lunch. I am now in heaven. Someone pass a fried Coke please.
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post #67 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Nothing like getting hammered while wearing a kilt and scarfing down a genuine 17th century turkey leg.
Especially when the turkey is actually left over from the 17th century.
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post #68 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:21pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny View Post
I'm still trying to get past the "Open Pleasure Horse Show."
I don't know why they call it the "Open Pleasure Horse Show." Those people were not open to me pleasuring myself at all. Horses have that effect on me.
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post #69 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
I ran down to the seafood place near the office and got some fried gator for lunch. I am now in heaven. Someone pass a fried Coke please.
Midwest Dairy Association of Minnesota "All The Milk You Can Drink For $1"
Offering: All the milk you can drink, white and chocolate.

This is what you want right here. It's the best deal at the MN State Fair, convenientely located accross the street from Sweet Martha's Chocolate Chip Cookies.
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post #70 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Midwest Dairy Association of Minnesota "All The Milk You Can Drink For $1"
Offering: All the milk you can drink, white and chocolate.
Bless my stars, it's the Dairy Challenge! I must rise to the occasion!
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post #71 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:29pm
It's great. $1 gets you a cup that you just keep on having them refill. A lot of people carry that cup around all day long and hit the booth periodically throughout the day. This booth is always packed.
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post #72 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:30pm
That much milk can't be healthy... what am I saying. Look at the food at this place so far. Drink as much milk as you can tolerate, I say.
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post #73 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:32pm
Your concern over 'healthy' food must be checked at the gate when you purchase your ticket. Just accept the fact that you're going to be sweating lard by the end of the day.
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post #74 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Your concern over 'healthy' food must be checked at the gate when you purchase your ticket. Just accept the fact that you're going to be sweating lard by the end of the day.
Pitty the vegan hipster that walks into one. I imagine that'll be unyielding hell for that guy.
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post #75 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:41pm
I can only see a vegan hipster going to one of these things (or dragged would be the more appropriate term) if he's visiting his parents (hating it) out on the farm (hating it) that he tries to forget about in all of his irony.

Or, in keeping with the theme, he goes there ironically. Well guess what asshole? You still paid for your damn ticket.

gah, I need a Spam burger.
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post #76 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
The Minnesota State Fair starts in a few weeks...I'm prepping my stomach now for the gastro-intestinal nightmare sure to come - ON A STICK!

I wonder what kind of mutant food they'll have this year...
Yep, can't wait. This and the Ren Faire (which is the best thing ever. Go MN and having one of the best/biggest in the country) is what I look forward to every summer.
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post #77 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Or, in keeping with the theme, he goes there ironically. Well guess what asshole? You still paid for your damn ticket.
Damn straight, prepared to be eyefucked by the carnies you tosseled hair, skinny jean wearing nut.
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post #78 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:46pm
Nothing like doing the Ren Fest on Saturday (and getting hammered) and then doing the State Fair on Sunday (and punishing the stomach). It's a Minnesota tradition...right up there with having the Vikings choke during the big game.
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post #79 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:53pm
My question to you Judas would be. Would you be wearing the same outfit at the Ren Fair as you would be at the state fair?
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post #80 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
My question to you Judas would be. Would you be wearing the same outfit at the Ren Fair as you would be at the state fair?
Nah, I don't have any Ren Fest garb. I'd rather wear shorts and a t-shirt than a heavy woolen carpet around my body that causes me to sweat off 20 lbs.
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post #81 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:58pm
Well, it would be the perfect antidote to all the rendered hog fat you'd be consuming that weekend. A perfect zero sum game.
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post #82 of 173
7/30/08 at 2:59pm
"Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat you'll wonder what you've done without it."

"Hmm, hog fat."
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post #83 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Well, it would be the perfect antidote to all the rendered hog fat you'd be consuming that weekend. A perfect zero sum game.
Lose 20 lbs of sweat (mainly water)
gain 20 lbs of hog fat

Fuck, I'm gonna die.
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post #84 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:04pm
I'm just enjoying the constant use of the word hog fat. Heh hog fat.
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post #85 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Nothing like doing the Ren Fest on Saturday (and getting hammered) and then doing the State Fair on Sunday (and punishing the stomach). It's a Minnesota tradition...right up there with having the Vikings choke during the big game.

Exactly. Cannot wait.
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post #86 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:16pm
The Shasta County Fair is a thing of beauty. You see--it's been a while since I looked up the stats, but this was true throughout the 1990s--the great state of California has the largest number of violent sex offenders, meth addicts, Welfare recipients, and Welfare frauds in the USA. Shasta County--mostly because of the makeup of Anderson, CA--has the largest number of these types of people in the state (in particular, they boast the highest concentration of convicted child rapists, plain rapists, meth addicts, and Welfare frauds in the state...also, there's a chapter of the Klan there). Somehow, the carnies they hire at the Shasta County Fairgrounds make the rest of the population seem normal. These carnies are like something out of The Hills Have Eyes. I'm really surprised the number of murderous child rapes don't skyrocket during the month of June because of that. Oddly, the food isn't weird. They sell corndogs, cheeseburgers, pizza, cotton candy, and coke and most of these things are provided by the local restaraunts in the area.
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post #87 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain View Post
(in particular, they boast the highest concentration of convicted child rapists, plain rapists, meth addicts, and Welfare frauds in the state...also, there's a chapter of the Klan there).
The rapist community would have you know that there's nothing "plain" about them, sir. Every rapist is special in his/her own way.
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post #88 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:25pm
"Wait you said rape twice."

"I like rape."
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post #89 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:28pm
'Mom...Dad...I have something to tell you.'
'Go ahead, son.'
'I'm g...'
'Go ahead, you can tell us anything.'
'I'm g...'
'We will always love you, honey.'
'I'm going to be a carnie'
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Get out, get out! I have no son!!!!!!'
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post #90 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:33pm
Hobos vs. Carnies. Who rates lower? You decide.
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post #91 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:34pm
They smell like cabbage.
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post #92 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:37pm
Carnies are Hobos that make just enough money to do meth.
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post #93 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Carnies are Hobos that make just enough money to do meth.
Annnnnd...sigged!
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post #94 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:44pm
Now I know that I've made it in the world...I've finally been sigged. My mother would be so proud of me.
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post #95 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:50pm
Feels good doesn't it? I should know, it happened to me twice.
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post #96 of 173
7/30/08 at 3:52pm
It's much better than winning a giant purple panda, that's for sure.
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post #97 of 173
7/30/08 at 4:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I feel bad for people who live where there's no such thing as cheese curds. They lose their squeaky wonderfulness if they're shipped. You must come to the cheese curd. It will not come to you.
I get a bag at Wilson's Cheese shop in Pinconning every time we go through there. Wonderful little gobs of happiness and also a main component in the amazing Canadian import known as "poutine".
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post #98 of 173
7/30/08 at 4:40pm
Poutine is disgusting. It's a scientific fact.
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post #99 of 173
7/30/08 at 4:41pm
Isn't Poutine essentially disco fries?
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post #100 of 173
7/30/08 at 4:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Poutine is disgusting.
Disgustingly awesome. I import poutine gravy and Second Cup cocoa. Poutine is a staple of happiness.
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